We Belong Together
A/N: The song is "We Belong Together," by Mariah Carey. It is sorta fitting, but the way the story goes along, it fits. Season 10, slightly AU. About 2 months after Carter came back from Africa the 2nd time. Abby is not a doctor yet, and Kem never happened. (I wish…)
ABBY'S POV
Finally, I'm home, I thought. The apartment was dead silent, except for the shuffle of my feet making their way to the bedroom. Today was one of the most exhausting days I have ever faced.
I glanced at the clock, and sighed again. It was only 9:21. I felt as though I had been awake for months. Oh wait, that was because I had been. The last time I actually had a good night's sleep was when Carter was with me. God, I can't think of him right now.
I slowly took off my clothes and stepped into the scorching hot shower. Today, two elementary school buses collided head on. Both drivers were dead, and more than half the kids were in serious condition. Not only that, but there was a fire a few streets away in an apartment complex, and a couple of drunk teens started it all. And how surprising! They were the one of the only ones who survived with scrapes and bruises.
After about five more minutes in the shower, I stepped out. My thoughts had drifted aimlessly to Carter again. I wasn't exactly sure why I was thinking of him again, but it's not like I could do anything to stop it anyway.
I
didn't mean it
When I said I didn't love you so
I should have
held on tight
I never should've let you go
I didn't know
nothing
I was stupid
I was foolish
I was lying to myself
I
could not fathom that I would ever
Be without your love
Never
imagined I'd be
Sitting here beside myself
I miss him so much, I said aloud. I felt as though I was staring into my soul, when I looked into the mirror. I saw nothing but the bags under my eyes, the wrinkles forming wherever they could, the pale emptiness of my face, and the aching of love in my heart.
Once my hair was dried, and I had one of John's old shirts on, I slid deep into the covers. My daily routine was once again repeated, and the memories of our happy past together, haunted me in my sleep.
THE NEXT MORNING
"Abby, after you are finished up here can you meet me in the doctor's lounge?" John asked. I nodded, and watched him go off.
"Okay, Ms. Dessler, looks like we are almost done here. I would suggest you stay off your feet for a while, and get some rest. The stress of your job is starting to affect the baby. Do you have a husband that can help take care of you?"
"Uh…not really, no. I… I left him a few months ago. He…He went to jail to save my life, and when he got back out, he…he was a changed man. He started drinking…and I just couldn't take care of him anymore. He couldn't keep a job, and so… I left. It was the hardest thing I have ever done, and I regret it terribly…" She said, trying not to cry.
"I'm so sorry… I didn't know… Does he know that you are 4 months pregnant? Do you want us to call him?"
"No, he doesn't know… I… didn't have the guts to tell him. I didn't know I was pregnant until after I left him, and then I figured it was too late. As for calling him, I would give anything to know that he is okay, and getting help in his life. I would also give anything for him to finally know that I still love him, and that I always will. But… can I call him? I think it is something I need to tell him myself…"
I smiled. "Absolutely." I walked over to the phone on the wall, just a few feet away, and handed the receiver to her. "Go ahead and dial the number, and when you are ready to hand up, I am giving you permission to walk over there and hang it back up, but then I want you right back here, okay?"
Ms. Dessler nodded. "As for what you said earlier, about wanting him to know that you still love him… I am confident that he will be dying to hear you say that… I know how it is…" She smiled at me, and began to dial her ex-husband's number.
As I began to walk towards the doctor's lounge, I began to grow very nervous. What if he was telling me that he still loved me? What if he wanted to get back together? My mind went blank as I entered the room, and saw him sitting on the couch.
I knew I was still in love, but was he?
'Cause
I didn't know you
'Cause I didn't know me
But I thought I knew
everything
I never felt
The feeling that I'm feeling
Now
that I don't
Hear your voice
Or have your touch and kiss your
lips
Cause I don't have a choice
Oh, what I wouldn't give
To
have you lying by my side
Right here, 'cause baby
"Abby, hey…" he said. He stood up and walked towards me.
"Why didn't you tell me you had one test left before you became a doctor?"
"I…I don't know…It just never occurred to me I guess…"
"Well, I know this may sound awkward, but I am…I'm really sorry for leaving…twice. And, for what it's worth, I think that since I was that push in the right direction for you, maybe I could help you study… Like tonight or something. You could come over to my place, and since it's coming up soon, maybe I could help you out a bit…?" He sounded so desperate…and then I realized that I pretty much always could read him like a book. He wanted to talk about something else, and helping me study for my exams was just an excuse. Maybe this was the night that I had been waiting for for months.
"Uh, sure…I guess. 7:00 sound good?"
He smiled. "Sure. See you then." And then for the first time in a long time, I was truly happy.
THAT NIGHT
There I was, standing in front of the Carter mansion, just like I had done many times before. I was almost scared to knock, knowing that this night could change everything for me, for better or for worse I wasn't sure. All I knew was that I couldn't lead John into knowing that this wasn't just a study date, or whether it was any date at all, actually. And then I realized that if John really did want to help me study, and only that, then I would have to stand up to my fears, and tell him straight up what I was feeling about him.
When
you left
I lost a part of me
It's still so hard to believe
Come
back baby please
We belong together
Who else am I gonna lean
on
When times get rough
Who's gonna talk to me on the
phone
Till the sun comes up
Who's gonna take your place
There
ain't nobody better
We belong together
Knock, Knock, Knock. I took a deep breath.
John answered the door. "Hey, come in…you got your books?" I nodded, and stepped inside the gloomy old house.
I looked around and realized everything looked the same as it did the last time I was here. A little dustier, but overall the same.
"Hey, why don't you get yourself situated in the den by the fireplace, and I'll make us some coffee. Are you hungry? You want some pizza?"
"Sure…Pepperoni please."
"I knew that, you refuse to eat anything other than cheese and pepperoni, because you don't think anything else they put onto pizza should touch, right?" He laughed.
I rolled my eyes and laughed too. "You remember that from our first date? That's weird…" We held eye contact for a few more seconds before he disappeared into the kitchen, and I started to lay out my books.
After the pizza was ordered, and our coffee was made, we started.
"Okay, here is an easy one…" he said, but I cut him off.
"Why is the real reason you asked me to come here, John?"
I
only think of you
And it's breaking my heart
I'm trying to keep
it together
But I'm falling apart
I'm feeling all out of my
element
I'm throwing things
Crying
Trying to figure
out
Where the hell I went wrong
The pain reflected in this
song
Ain't even half of what
I'm feeling inside
I need
you
Need you back in my life baby
"Well…I…to study." He said, as-a-matter-of-factly.
"You know, I have always been able to read you like a book, and I think you should know that I still can… And what you just said is a complete lie."
"Abby…Do you really want to know why? It…It's because I still have very strong feelings for you…I…I miss you. I was stupid to have left like that, and I regret it all. If I could just turn back time and do it all over again I would, but we both know that I can't. I don't know if you feel the same way…So I invited you over here to try and pry it out of you, and try and read you as well as you can read me. I am dying to know how you feel about me…" I smiled.
"I think we belong together. There is no doubt that you hurt me, and all I ever wanted was for you to come back to me. I know things won't ever be the same, and I will never forget the pain you caused me, but despite all of that…I truly believe that I cannot possibly live without you. I miss you…"
"I…I don't know what to say…I am so…shocked! Does this mean that you are giving me another chance?"
"Do you want one?" My heart was bursting with joy. I couldn't stop smiling.
"Yes…" he whispered, and then it happened. The one thing I had been waiting for for months had finally happened. John reached over, kissed me, and pulled me into his lap. I was in his arms one again, and I couldn't be happier.
When
you left
I lost a part of me
It's still so hard to believe
Come
back baby please
We belong together
Who else am I gonna lean
on
When times get rough
Who's gonna talk to me
Till the sun
comes up
Who's gonna take your place
There ain't nobody
better
We belong together…
