Outside Tony was pacing up and down the hallway, tears in his eyes and staring at the ground.
Kate came running out of Gibbs's room and ran over to him.
"Tony…" she reached out and grabbed his shoulder.
"It's all my fault," cried Tony pulling away, "it's my fault that Gibbs is gonna die!"
"Don't say that! It's not your fault Gibbs was shot at in the warehouse!"
"Yes, it is Kate, it's all my friggin fault!" Tony turned to Kate, tears streaming down his face.
"No it's not! That sniper took aim at Gibbs and shot there was nothing…"
"THAT BULLET WAS MEANT FOR ME KATE! The sniper aimed at ME and shot at me and Gibbs risked his own life and tackled me out of harms way. And now he's going to…to…" Tony dissolved into tears and Kate hugged him and let him cry on her shoulder.
"I had no idea…."
"I told you guys that the sniper aimed at Gibbs so that I wouldn't seem like such a failure and now…now because of me and because I'm such a failure Gibbs will die."
"Shh, don't talk like that Tony, he's not going to die, you'll see."
Back in the hospital room, Gibbs tried not to think that he might not be here this time next week. Instead he tried to remember the good times, happy times he'd spent throughout his life.
"…So I try to hold onto a time when nothing mattered,
And I can't explain what happened,
And I can't erase the things that I've done,
No I can't…"
Gibbs sat silently and thought about his life, he'd lived a decent life, not exactly glamorous but not too shabby either. He wasn't a saint, but he certainly didn't kill anyone, on purpose. He didn't want to die, he wanted to do other things but, if the inevitable happened, Gibbs decided he was ready. Ready for whatever happened in the operating room because Gibbs had made peace with himself. He wasn't sure how ready his friends would be but at least he'd get to say goodbye, which was more than most got to do.
5 days later, Gibbs was being prepped for surgery with his friends around him. All of them had said their words and were now looking at him sadly. The nurses ushered them away and they all gave Gibbs one last squeeze of his hand. Tony was about to leave but Gibbs motioned for him to stay.
"Boss?" Tony asked croakily, he hadn't been sleeping well for the past 10 days.
"Dinozzo, I want you to know, I don't blame you for this at all. In fact, if I die today I'll be happy because I know that I got to say goodbye. If today the results are unfavourable, at least I got to say goodbye to you. You're like the son I never had."
Then the nurses wheeled off Gibbs before Tony could say a word.
"…How could this happen to me,
I made my mistakes,
I've got no where to run,
The night goes on,
As I'm fading away,
I'm sick of this life,
I just wanna scream,
How could this happen to me…"
