Summary: Lupin Tonks. Lupin and Tonks prepare for their holiday at Holyhead. First Tonks has Honey Note Rehab with Molly while Remus encounters two wise men (Moody and Flitwick?).

Disclaimer: The characters belong to JKRowling. I'm just having fun playing in her world. Set during the Christmas break in Order of the Phoenix.

Holiday at Holyhead
Honey Note Rehabilitation

December 21st
Order Headquarters

Three days had passed since the serpent attack on Arthur Weasley, but now that he was out of danger, the family was settling into spending the holidays at Order headquarters.

Today Molly Weasley was standing in the entry hall at number twelve with Remus Lupin and Nymphadora Tonks just behind her. She was biting her lip as she slipped on her gloves. "I was surprised to see how many had booked the Honey Note Rehabilitation class. It would be unfortunate to disappoint them, I suppose."

"Absolutely, Molly. Now that Arthur is stable, this is just the diversion you need," assured Lupin as he patted her back. Then he pointedly looked at Tonks as he added, "Why, just think of all the men you'll save from singed hair."

The Auror suppressed the urge to stick her tongue out at her colleague and settled for wrinkling her nose at him before she said to Molly, "And I'll be sitting in on your class as a guard."

"Cough, cough, cough." Lupin had a sudden attack as Tonks spoke.

Tonks whacked him smartly on the back as she continued. "I will, of course, take advantage of your tutelage while I sit in."

Could Lupin's eyebrow get any higher, Tonks wondered, as Molly donned her coat. This time Tonks did stick out her tongue at Lupin, but his eyes gleamed wickedly back at her in response. She surreptitiously pinched his arm

"I'll escort you to Diagon Alley since I have purchases to make at Flourish and Blott's," said Lupin as he ignored Tonks' violent tendencies. Molly remained unaware of the battle behind her.

"You really think it's a good idea that I go?" asked Molly Weasley even as she wrapped her scarf around her neck.

"Yes!" chorused the rest of the residents of number twelve Grimmauld Place. The teenagers lined the stairs in birth order with the oldest adolescent, Sirius Black, at the very top.

The adults opened the door for their adventure even as Sirius was announcing, "All right, time to make the crackers..."

Lupin and Tonks both grabbed Molly by the elbow to escort her out of the house without further ado. Lupin was using his walking cane, but their general mood was bright as they arrived at Coven Hall at Diagon Alley. It was essentially a civic center where various rooms could be scheduled for meetings and classes.

"I'll meet you at this corner in an hour and a half," said Lupin with a quick check of his wristwatch. He seemed a bit distracted now that he had escorted the women to their destination. "I better go."

Even with a cane, Lupin's long stride soon took him away quickly. Tonks frowned at this odd behavior, but then she heard Molly call, "We're in Room 42 and my supplies should all be there."

"Right, then, Molly, let's get to it," said Tonks. She grabbed one of the gray cloaks hanging at the entry hall and quickly donned it, even raising the hood.

Molly inspected Tonks and said, "I'd be hard pressed to identify you. I'm glad my students can be assured their anonymity. Most were too embarrassed by their magical mishaps to be identified in public."

"Aurors are taught the counterspell to penetrate what the cloaks conceal, so I'll check each student as they enter," informed Tonks as she fell into her professional tone. "Let me inspect the room first."

Molly allowed Tonks to enter first and watched her scrutinize the premises. She might be a fledgling Auror, but she was thorough. The classroom had a large desk in front by the door and three rows of seven seats for students.

"It all looks fine, Molly. I'll help you set up."

"Thank you, dear. Oh, but everyone needs a pseudonym."

"Just call me Mary," replied Tonks to the unspoken question.

Tonks helped Molly set up the twenty stations for the remaining students, then settled in the back to scan the pupils as they entered. A quiet nod indicated to Molly that all was clear and that she could begin her instructions.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

Diagon Alley

Lupin was waiting for his appointment by standing just outside of Argentum's Annex. He turned to look at the array of jewelry on display in the window. He was a bit anxious about his next purchase because he wanted everything to be perfect, but his financial situation made that unrealistic.

As usual, most of the funds he earned had to be put into preserving his house at Holyhead. His family had never owned house elves, so it was his personal task to see to its upkeep. He'd rather starve than see the ancient domicile go to ruin. And this year he wanted to show Tonks the true extent of his ancestral home when she visited in a few days.

The Professor closed his eyes for a moment. If someone had asked him last Christmas what his chances were of bringing the woman he loved to Holyhead, he would have laughed at the absurdity.

"I hope you're not nodding off, Remus. Leave that to your elders."

"Just daydreaming, Filius," replied Lupin as he looked down at his colleague. "May I see them?"

Flitwick's eyes were twinkling as he extended the box from his pocket. "It's some of my best work, if I do say so myself."

Lupin looked at the moonstones and smiled, but as he was about to reach for them, Flitwick closed the box with an efficient snap and pocketed it. "Now you just have to decide on the right setting so that I can add the adhesion spell. I'll just wait out here."

"No, I think I'd rather have you help me with my selection," confessed Lupin. "I've never thought about giving a woman jewelry before."

Flitwick chuckled at actually observing Lupin being flustered. "I will be happy to share my expertise on the matter--"

"Expertise on what, Flit?" asked a familiar gruff voice.

Lupin stifled his groan when he recognized Alastor Moody. He turned around to find the familiar magic eye whirling in its socket, but Flitwick seemed unfazed by Moody's arrival.

"Lupin asked me for a hand at selecting proper jewelry for his young lady," said Flitwick with unhidden delight.

"Eh? And what would you know about it, then? You haven't been out on a date in twenty years."

"Yes, but at least all the women I have known still recall me fondly," said Flitwick with a satisfied sigh.

"Look, perhaps I should do this on my own. I've got other shopping to finish--" began Lupin.

"Nonsense! You need help from men with experience, although you're looking a bit peaky, Lupin," muttered Moody in a rather fatherly tone. "Come on, let's get you a drink at the Prancing Pegasus. It'll shore up your courage."

"Or make you drunk enough to relax about it, anyway," added Flitwick.

Lupin's protests fell on deaf ears as the two men led him away. He had the distinct impression he had somehow fallen into an ambush.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

Coven Hall

"All right, now let me see. Everyone has given me a name except for seat thirteen," said Molly as she glanced at the gray-cloaked figure. Seat thirteen was in the row just in front of Tonks, two seats from the edge.

"Um, yes, ma'am, I'm, uh, I really can't think of a good name." The females around him sighed a bit as they noted the masculine voice, obviously a young man, and with a rather attractive accent.

The soft lilt of the voice was oddly familiar to Molly, however. She searched her catalog of voices and then smiled gently in recognition. "How about Forest?"

"Oh, yes, ma'am, I think that'll do fine," responded the voice with the attractive intonation.

"Good, let's go over the basics then..." Molly was very efficient as she presented her instructions and patiently answered questions.

Tonks made her notes as she nibbled on a Honeyduke's chocolate bar that she had brought with her. Her parchment also included several doodles of hearts, rainbows, and rough sketches of a creature with a long, hairy snout. She was brought out of her doodling when Molly gave her next instructions.

"All right class, first you need to create a note so that I can assess your problems." Molly made sure she had everyone's attention before saying, "Begin."

Tonks set to work with fervor and a few more nibbles as she finished her chocolate. She mumbled to herself as she wrote, "Dear John..."

After ten minutes, Molly called time and walked to each station to examine the work. She identified each problem to the class and gave encouraging advice to each writer. The typical problem she encountered had to do with activating the Honey Note, however. Then she got to seat thirteen.

"Ah, now let's see what problem a gentleman might have. Forest, let's have your note."

Molly took the Honey Note and chanted, "Specialis aperio."

The envelope shuffled a bit, then began to balloon. In fact, two very distinct, and very feminine, balloon shapes appeared. Forest groaned in dismay. "That's what always happens!"

"Class, you have just witnessed the Horny Note and the main reason why men avoid writing Honey Notes at all."

Tonks could hear the twittering of the young girls as they leaned around each other to get a look.

Molly patted the student's shoulder and said comfortingly, "Now, now, this is a common enough problem for young men."

"Really? I'm normal? I'm not a, you know, pervert?"

"All men are perverts, dear, but it's a feature that women each enjoy in their own fashion. You just don't want to overwhelm your young lady with manifestation of impure thoughts."

"Oh, I don't want that. I really do care about her. She plays for the Holyhead Harpies and she's, it's just, she has this wonderfully toned body and perfectly proportioned--"

"Let's focus on your problem. You just need to stifle the naughty thoughts when you write your note. Is there something that you really enjoy that isn't, er, vulgar?"

"Quidditch, of course," replied Forest.

"That will do. Try writing another note while you think about quidditch," advised Molly.

She went on to the rest of the class and finally got to Tonks. "Well, Mary, let's see what we have here."

Molly chanted the spell to open the Honey Note while Tonks squirmed anxiously in her seat. Then she heard her voice emanating from the note.

"Dear John, I am concerned for your health on account of that irritating little cough you have developed. I hope you're getting plenty of fluids and rest so that it doesn't ruin your holiday. Love, Mary."

The note then kissed Molly sweetly on the cheek and dissolved into a mist of sparkling confetti.

Molly praised while the class applauded, "Very good, Mary, that was the very model of a Honey Note. Now let's see everyone do one that well."

Tonks felt herself blushing at the praise. Wait until she showed Remus. She began her next note with vigor--and without any chocolate.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

The Prancing Pegasus

"...and so I scoop her into my arms outside the door, but by the time I turn around, the door is swinging shut," said Moody with a bit of a growl, then took a large gulp of from his hip flask.

"But I thought you were at a Muggle hotel?" asked Flitwick, then hiccupped.

"It was a spring-loaded door," explained Lupin as he took another sip of his wine.

"Is that what it was?" asked Moody sounding a bit perplexed. He shrugged and said, "I blasted the door open with my wand. Thought her ex had followed us."

"And this is the man who wants to give you advice about women," murmured Flitwick to Lupin with a wink.

"Well, gentlemen, I appreciate your concern and advice, but I need to see to my purchases."

"Give it a rest, Lupin, here's the delivery," said Moody as he raised his hand to catch a package from a messenger owl.

"Delivery?" asked Lupin. Perhaps he had imbibed just a bit too much because this wasn't making sense.

The two older men ignored him. Instead, Flitwick casually reached over to pull the box out of his pocket while Moody unwrapped the recently delivered package. Moody and Flitwick then huddled over the contents of both, muttering about who should do the adhesion charm until the exasperation finally got to Lupin.

"What are the two of you doing with the moonstones?"

"Show some respect to your elders, laddie," said Moody and used Lupin's own cane to smack his shoulder lightly. "Now, where were we, Flit?"

"Finished," cried Flitwick triumphantly as he held up the final product. "What do you think? Perfect setting, no?"

Lupin just stared for a moment at their handiwork. He felt his heart sinking. It was ruined. His Christmas gift for Tonks, something he had been working on for months, was complete rubbish now. "What have you done?"

The dismay was clearly in Lupin's voice, so Moody and Flitwick exchanged a perplexed glance. Flitwick suddenly understood the problem and said, "Oh, no, no, don't fret. The sizing and setting are perfect. You just need to chant the final charm. Believe me, this is more appropriate than anything you'd findat Argentum's."

"Lupin's too much of a skeptic. Here," said Moody. He flicked his wand and Lupin was able to see a glimmer of the final product before the illusion fell away. It was perfect.

Lupin looked at the two men then asked cautiously, "How much does it cost? I don't think--"

"Good. It's time to quit thinking so much and start getting on with your life," grumbled Moody.

"But--"

"Say thank you, Remus, and quit trying to start an argument you're going to lose," advised Flitwick.

"Thank you," said Lupin sincerely. He shook his head in disbelief before asking, "What's the final spell?"

Flitwick grinned widely. "The Venus charm. Just use it when you give it to Tonks and I assure you, it will be perfect. Especially when called by a venificus primo."

Lupin looked sharply at the two men. They had witnessed his and Tonks' adventure in a magical tapestry where they had been drawn into the life of his Roman ancestor, but they wouldn't know the line of sons was unbroken from Mallus Lupinus to Remus Lupin.

"I never said I was venificus primo," said Lupin.

"And you don't have to," humphed Moody, who turned to Flitwick and added, "Thinks we were born yesterday."

"Sometimes," began Lupin, then changed his tone as he looked at the two men who had saved him and Tonks from the tapestry. "Sometimes I just need to be reminded of the wisdom of my elders. I--Tonks and I both truly value your help. But now I better see to the rest of my purchases before I run out of time."

"Have a good holiday, Remus," said Flitwick as Lupin rose to take his leave.

"And take good care of Tonks when you're at Holyhead," said Moody.

"Does everyone know our business?" asked Lupin as he donned his coat.

"Who do you think is covering for her while she's gone? Never took you for a dimwit, Lupin," said Moody with a shake of his head. "You just take good care of the lass."

"And don't worry about the gift. Like I said, it's my best work."

Lupin shook his head and smiled. Perhaps it was all the wine he ingested, but he was no longer anxious about the upcoming trip to Holyhead. Everything would indeed be perfect.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

Coven Hall

"All right, Mister Wo--er, Forest, let's see how you're doing," said Molly as the class finished their notes.

She activated his Honey Note and it again ballooned into twin spheres, but the shape was distinctly different. Molly frowned a moment and said, "Ah, quaffles. Well, I suppose it's better than the womanly bits you had before, Forest. I'd say you're well on your way to alleviating your Horny Note problem."

"Thank you, Mrs. Weasley. I think I have the hang of it now," assured the man. He began humming the anthem for the Puddlemere United quidditch team as he tried one more note.

Molly continued through the class and saw marked improvement with many producing a reasonable facsimile of a Honey Note. Then she arrived at Tonks' desk and said, "All right, dear, let's show them how it's done one last time."

Tonks was smirking in triumph underneath her hood. She watched as Molly activated the note, but no sooner had they heard "Dear John" than the note began emitting a distinctive tic-toc sound as if a countdown on a bomb. Tonks could only watch the proceedings in dumbfounded amazement.

Molly flung the note away from her, but it fluttered near the next table where the young man sat. He became its unwitting target.

Seeing the danger of the impending explosion, Molly quickly shouted, "Run, Forest, run!"

The young man, who was still humming the anthem to himself, seemed oblivious to the use of his pseudonym, until Molly cried, "Incoming bludger!"

The gray-cloaked man quickly shifted out of his seat and did an efficient vault out of harms' way. Well, mostly out of harms' way. The Honey Note veered towards its target, but Molly was able to dampen the explosion. Still, the aftermath left a fine layer of ash all over his cloak, wisps of smoke streaming from his head, and the man was clearly tottering as he tried to regain his balance.

"Eh, what was that? Rogue bludgers on the field of play?" The young man slapped his hand against his ear twice and took a toddling step forward, but by now a giggle of young women were cooing over him.

Tonks could only hide her cloaked head beneath her hands in pure embarrassment. She'd just toasted Oliver Wood! And she had placed a bet on the Puddlemere United team to win in the holiday match on New Year's. Wood had just been moved from the reserve team to playKeeper for the game. She made herself as small as possible while Molly got everyone settled and out of the classroom.

When everything fell quiet, Tonks felt a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"You can quit hiding now, Tonks. And don't worry about Oliver Wood. He's taken bludgers to the head without lasting ill effect."

Tonks let the hood fall away with a sigh. "I thought I got it right, Molly. I'm so sorry I ruined your class."

Tonks was literally blinking back tears. After all the worry that the attack on Arthur had given Molly, the woman deserved a nice diversion, not another headache.

Molly looked at the pink-haired Auror sitting before her, reminding her very much of a penitent Ginny, and couldn't stop the chuckle. She began laughing, genuinely laughing, and gave the younger woman a hug.

"Tonks, since that horrible night Arthur was attacked, I haven't really been able to laugh until today," said Molly. "And I was able to help every single student here, except you of course."

"I'm unrehabilitable, aren't I?" murmured Tonks seriously. She banged her forehead on the table. "Is that even a word? I'm hopeless, hopeless..."

"No, you are not. Now, tell me, were you thinking or doing anything different when you wrote that second note?"

Tonks took a deep breath and thought carefully. "Well, I was thinking about my holiday break."

"With Remus, I presume?" asked Molly. Tonks averted her gaze, but Molly added, "I know he hasn't been sleeping at Order headquarters, dear."

"My flat is more comfortable for him when his knee bothers him," said Tonks frankly. "And he doesn't want to compete with Sirius for Harry's attention."

"And I'm sure Remus is happier having your full attention," said Molly. "Don't feel guilty about trying to capture those moments of joy when you can, Tonks. You never know when they might be your last."

Tonks reached out to clasp Molly's hand, but the Weasley matriarch suddenly frowned as she inspected Tonks' fingers. "Tonks, is that chocolate?"

The Auror slipped her hand out and licked at her fingertip. "Uh, yeah, I sort of snuck in some chocolate while I was writing my notes."

"Both of them?" asked Molly.

"Er, no, just the first," admitted Tonks. She saw the slow smile appear on Molly's face along with her nod. Tonks blinked, then said, "Is that it? Chocolate helps me write Honey Notes?"

"Well, I'd say it's worth a try. Tell me, are you prone to substituting chocolate to compensate for sex?"

"Don't all women? Aren't we all looking for a man who's better than chocolate?" she quipped.

Molly laughed, "Yes, and while Arthur recovers from that snake bite, I think I'll need a good stash of Honeyduke's myself. But there's your answer; you put too much passion into your notes. Don't write one if you haven't had some chocolate."

"I'll try that," said Tonks as she stood. "But I'll test it once I get home. I wanted to pick up a package at Magical Menagerie before we meet Remus."

"What creature are you getting there?" asked Molly as she shrugged into her coat.

"A worm for Remus," said Tonks with a shy smile. "It's just a little one, the runt in fact."

"A worm? Is that wise? A man might see that as a reflection of his, er, masculinity," said Molly. "Especially a runt."

"Oh, no, Remus is too cocky to get the wrong message about that," assured Tonks.

"Interesting choice of words," murmured Molly as she smiled slyly at Tonks. The Auror was now turning as pink as her hair.

"Molly Weasley! I meant, well, actually, I mean, Remus in no way resembles a worm."

Molly couldn't top chuckling for a moment, but leaned in to whisper in Tonks' ear, "Neither does Arthur."

"I think I'll get you a lot of chocolate for Christmas, Molly," said Tonks as she rolled her eyes.

"I'll have the appetite for it while Arthur recuperates, dear. Now, what type of worm are you getting?"

"A bookworm, of course," said Tonks. Then at Molly's frown, quickly added, "Vermis bibliophilus, not the vermis bibliophagus."

"Those are rather expensive," said Molly.

"This runt will be a castaway if I don't take it, but my friend who works at the shop says that with proper care and feeding, it will thrive. It should help Remus maintain his collection. Do you think he'll like it?"

"I'm sure it will be perfect," assured Molly. "Now, let's go get some chocolate."

TBC

Author Note:

Thanks to the Harry Potter Lexicon for the names of the quidditch teams and the timing of events in December. And I hope you all enjoyed the cameo by Oliver Wood.

The Honey Notes, and thus the Horny Notes, are not canon. Nor will you find Coven Hall, Argentum's Annex or the Prancing Pegasus on any maps of Diagon Alley, although Magical Menagerie is there.

The incantation to reveal the honey note is merely poor Latin for reveal secrets and not canon.

And I couldn't resist the bookworm! We were discussing possible gifts at DT online when I realized this would be perfect. Those of you who have read all my stories will understand its sentimental value. Vermis is Latin for worm. Biblio refers to book. Philus is a variation of friend and phagus means to swallow, devour. I'm probably perverting Latin and Greek roots, but it's all in fun.

We'll see Lupin and Tonks at Christmas and at their final destination of Holyhead in the next chapter. This should be the first of only two chapters; I hope to post the next by this weekend.

Thanks for reading and putting up with the puns, cliches, innuendos and bad Latin. The devices don't matter as long as you're smiling.

If you're new to the series, just hit Queriusole and you'll find the other stories, but this can be read as a stand alone.