Summary: Tonks never expected to take the Knight Bus to Holyhead to meet Remus.
HOLIDAY AT HOLYHEAD
Knight Bus
December 25th
St. Mungo's
Remus Lupin escorted the Weasleys to St. Mungo's for another visit with Arthur on Christmas Day, but the excursion served a dual purpose. As Molly began to chastise Arthur about playing with Muggle medical procedures, Lupin approached Arthur's roommate cautiously.
"Hello, I hope I'm not disturbing you. I'm Remus Lupin." The Professor offered his hand.
The man, who had been looking at Arthur's visitors rather wistfully, turned to the face the wall and said, "I've been cursed. You don't want to touch me."
Lupin smiled gently as he ignored this and shook the man's hand. "I've lived with that same curse for over thirty years."
Lupin let the hand drop and sat in the chair by the bed. The man sat up with sudden interest and seemed to inspect Lupin closely. "You don't look very menacing."
"Well, I do have my days, but it takes so much energy to appear predatory."
"Yes, I see that you do look rather peaky."
"And so will you, I'm afraid. The Wolfsbane helps you keep control with your human mind when you're a werewolf, but the pain of the transformation is taxing on the body. I won't lie to you about that."
The man fell back onto the pillow and turned his head to stare at the ceiling. "It's not the pain that scares me so much; it's just that--that I'm not human anymore."
"Have you sold your soul to evil?" asked Lupin calmly.
"No, but the bite--"
"Was intended to kill you, I understand," said Lupin. As he noted the question in the man's eyes, he explained, "I've been given the details of your encounter with the werewolf, Mister Hill. I'm often called in to help investigate werewolf attacks and I'll be investigating this one as the next full moon approaches."
Hill met Lupin's direct gaze this time. "Arthur said he knew a lycanthrope who lived a fairly normal life. Even had a girl."
"Arthur is my friend; his family is like my own and my personal life is, well, let's just say that I do have one because of a very special woman."
"I'm afraid of being alone," admitted Hill.
Lupin just smiled. "It wasn't the curse that isolated me; it was my own fear."
Lupin was still thinking of this encounter as he sat on the afternoon train to Holyhead. Thoughts of Nymphadora Tonks were flitting through his mind. His hair still held the last sparkles of the confetti left by the Honey Note she had left for him when he had collected her bags at the flat.
Lupin had opted to leave early so he could take their luggage and see to final preparations for his guest at Holyhead. He touched the box in his pocket and smiled as he imagined how the jewelry would look on Tonks. In order to get her days off, she was working on Christmas Day. Still, she'd arrive tonight and he wanted everything to be perfect.
x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x
Ministry of MagicTonks was tapping her toe as she surveyed the floo network from the Ministry of Magic. Given the holiday rush, traffic in the floo networks could be a hazard and apparations were limited to emergencies only. She had already managed to ease the demand by timing the accessibility to the floos. It was a task that was horribly dull, but she was determined to make her train to Holyhead on time. Muggle transportation was actually the best way to travel on Christmas.
She covertly tapped the small book she had in her cloak pocket and, when things were running smoothly in the floos, used the opportunity to check on her minute companion.
"Wotcher, Ket! Having a little snooze?"
She opened the book and smiled as the little bookworm used the opportunity to stretch and puff out to its full three dimensions. As it did so, the segments filled out into a rainbow of indigo blue at the head to deep red at its tail.
The bookworm inched its little body forward and Tonks could swear it had grown since she had first acquired it. For the past three days she'd been switching books every six hours in order to keep it alive. The bookworm conserved and restored books as it magically burrowed through them and this little fellow had quite an appetite.
The creature now lifted its head where the appearance of eyespots resembled a face wearing eyeglasses. The bookworm seemed to nod its head at Tonks before magically immersing into the pages of her book again.
Tonks had carefully chosen one of her favorite books from childhood, a pocket size collection of Aesop's fables. The contents of the book needed to be full of bright stories if the little worm were to survive. It had already been through the first volume and seemed content with the second. She was determined to deliver a healthy, if diminutive, bookworm to Remus. She'd need to change books as soon as she got to Holyhead, though.
Then, just five minutes before she was due to leave and catch her train, it happened.
"Level two violation on the Knight Bus," announced the Auror in charge of the duty roster as he took a note wafting down from a small pygmy owl.
He looked directly at Tonks as he folded the note into a paper airplane, then sent it flying to her with a quick flick of his wrist. "Tonks, I'll see to the floos; you see to this disturbance. Meet the Knight Bus at the Leaky Cauldron."
Tonks bit back her groan and stood to attend to her duty. She'd have to ask Stan Shunpike to drop her off at the train station afterward. With luck, she'd still be able to keep on schedule.
x-x-x-x-x-x-x
The Knight BusThe Auror was at least able to apparate to the Leaky Cauldron to meet the Knight Bus. The purple vehicle stopped in front of Tonks as it let off a passenger.
"Well, if it ain't my favorite Auror," began the conductor with a smile. Although he had a timelessly immature face, Stan Shunpike had actually been a classmate of hers, though not in the same house. She found it amusing that Hufflepuff could produce a man of extraordinary talent like Alastor Moody and man of such ordinary quality like Stan.
"Hello, Stan, now just fill me in on the details so I can take care of this," said Tonks as she entered the bus. A level two violation typically meant that some wizard had imbibed too much fire whisky and was being verbally or physically belligerent. Magic itself had limited power inside the moving bus as a precaution against hijackers.
Stan shut the door to the Knight Bus and called, "Let's check in York one last time then drop off the next fare, Ernie."
BANG! Tonks barely had time to find a foothold before the bus began its careening route.
"Stan! How am I supposed to evict your passenger with the Knight Bus going at full kilter?" Tonks shook her head. Stan was not the brightest of lads.
"Oh, there ain't no more problem. Danny Boy Maloy passed out drunk in the back right before we stopped at the Leaky Cauldron. No need to toss 'im off. He'll be snoring til we reach Dublin."
She walked to where a young wizard was lying on top of one of the beds. The snores were practically rattling the windows and the wizard looked like he'd sleep through the night.
"You'll be using the Ferryman to cross the sea?" asked Tonks a bit absently. She referred to the magical ferry.
"Yeah," said Stan immediately as he hovered near Tonks. "I'm wondering if the Ferryman will take on an apprentice. You know, gimme a chance to move up in the world."
Tonks held back the shudder the image evoked and moved back to the front of the bus. "All right, if things are fine, then just let me off. I'm off duty now and have a Muggle train to catch."
"You're off duty?" repeated Stan with a glint in his eye. This was a dream come true. Nymphadora Tonks riding his bus all night long? What had he done to deserve such a Christmas present?
"Well, if there's no arrest to make, then yes, I am off duty. So, please drop me off at the Muggle train station before you leave London and I'll be on my way."
"Sorry, can't stop now. I gotta summons to check on in York and a paying passenger to deliver to Dublin," said Stan trying to sound professional.
"Ha ha, very funny, Stan. Look, if you don't stop now I'll miss my train, so you've had your fun. Tell Ernie to stop the Knight Bus."
"It's against policy, Tonks. Only paying customers can stop the Knight Bus or one who summons us. You're not a paying customer since I didn't give you a ticket when you got on. And you didn't summon us."
"But, I can pay now," said Tonks as she desperately fumbled for her wallet.
"I won't take your money, Tonks, so just enjoy the ride," said Stan as he let his eyes rake over her.
Tonks looked in dismay out the window. The Knight Bus was already leaving London behind. She moaned, "Why tonight!"
Stan gave the Auror his best seductive smile. "We got lotsa time to catch up. Lotsa places to do the catching up, too."
Stan sat down on a bed and patted it suggestively. Tonks felt her left eye twitching as she realized that Stan was hitting on her. This was nothing new; she'd been snubbing his advances since their first year at Hogwarts.
"Stan Shunpike, stop this Knight Bus NOW!"
"Oh, I've got you all hot and bothered, 'ave I? Just get comfy, Tonks, we got all night."
"Listen, you maggot--"
"And you remembered my nickname. Sweet!"
Stan stood up and reached for Tonks, who swatted his hand sharply with her wand.
"Back off or I'll stick this where the sun won't shine!"
"We going kinky, are we? Whatever you're into, luv. I'm game."
The man was a bleeding idiot, thought Tonks. "Well, I'm not game, I'm not your luv and I certainly have no intention of letting you touch me."
Tonks ran up the stairs to the very top deck. She could hear Stan calling from downstairs. "I get your message. Now you're playing hard to get. Well, two can play at that game, Tonks."
All fell silent except for the screeching of the tires and occasional bang as Ernie adjusted the bus on its path. Tonks ventured a peek at the bottom deck to find Stan out of sight, probably talking to Ernie.
She looked out the window as the countryside flew by while the Knight Bus veered to the north. She could open a window and slip out when they stopped at York, she thought. In the meantime Tonks scanned the view out of the window to keep track of her location on a mental map. All Aurors were trained in maintaining a topographical map and Tonks was exceptionally good at this. The Knight Bus looked seemed to slow down as it got to York.
Tonks went to a window and opened it just as there was a sharp BANG! But then she heard Stan's voice floating up to her.
"No one's 'ere, Ernie, ljust keep moving."
There was no stopping! Tonks let her body slide down the window in utter defeat. This was not the way she intended to spend the night. She looked out the window and blinked back tears of frustration, absently gauging her position.
Then a slow smile appeared on her face. The most likely place for the Knight Bus to meet the Ferryman would in fact be at Holyhead. The changing scenery confirmed the vehicle traveled in the right direction. All she had to do was figure out a way to stop the Knight Bus at the right place without committing a level three offense against Stan herself. As an Auror she had limited access to magic, but the last thing she wanted was to spend her days off dealing with an inquiry.
Tonks took a deep breath and considered her options. First, she needed to let Lupin know about her predicament. The Knight Bus carried an owl for emergencies, although she noticed it was a little pygmy owl like Pigwig. She cringed at the thought that she would need to indulge Stan with her company so she could get close to the owl.
Was there any other option, though? Tonks searched her pockets for the quill and parchment kit that Aurors always carried. A Honey Note was out of the question since she didn't have chocolate, but there was a more appealing option. She wrote her note quickly and stuffed it in her pocket. Time to put on the show.
Tonks stepped to the lower deck and called softly, "Stan? Stan, I'm sorry I got all upset. It's just, you have a way of overwhelming a girl."
Her voice sounded contrite and, without acting, a little sad. Stan leaned into the aisle to find his bubblegum-headed goddess looking forlorn and lost. He walked to her thinking she'd finally come to her senses about Stan Shunpike. Obviously his ambition to be the next Ferryman impressed her.
"I'll try to tone down my manly presence then," he said to reassure her. "Sit down over there and I'll sit down over 'ere--until you want me closer, that it is."
Tonks rolled her eyes before she turned to him again. Come on, old girl, just a bit of conversation. But what the hell did they have to talk about? Tonks gave a small, but genuine smile. "It's just that I'm worried about my little pet. He needs special care."
She sat down and pulled out her book. The bookworm filled out and took a tentative look around. Tonks could see he'd almost made it through the book.
"It's a bookworm!" cried Stan as he quickly stood and slammed the book shut. "You gotta kill 'em before they eat it up. Ugh, I hate worms!"
"Stop!" cried Tonks as she ripped the book out of Stan's hand. She opened it to find the bookworm still intact, but looking a bit rattled as its head swayed.
How stupid could a graduate of Hogwarts be? Then Tonks remembered Stan literally was a MAAGGot: Minimum Academic Achievement, Graduation Granted on time.
Tonks took a deep breath and asked, "Didn't you learn anything about the Care and Use of Magical Creatures? This is the V. bibliophilus, not V. bibliophagus."
"I knew that," said Stan in his defense. "I was just testing you."
Tonks closed her eyes and kept repeating in her mind: the Knight Bus is my ticket to Lupin, the Knight Bus is my ticket to Lupin. She decided to proceed with her plan on being social, but unavailable.
"Stan, meet Quetzalcoatl," said Tonks with a smile for her bookworm. The creature seemed to cock his head shyly at the introduction.
"Ketz Ah whatta?"
"Quetzalcoatl. You know? Ket Zol Kow Ah Toll?" repeated Tonks patiently. She saw Stan's lips moving as he tried to mimic her sounds, but then gave up and said, "I call him Ket for short."
"Oooh, Ket, yeah, I can do that. Ket. Good short name for a runt like 'im. Looks a bit peaky, don't 'e?"
Tonks carefully closed the book so that her bookworm wouldn't have to suffer any more of Stan's diatribes. "Stan, ahem, do you have any pets?"
"Me?" asked Stan. He blinked his eyes in surprise. Tonks was really showing some interest in him. So, she wanted more than just a quickie, did she?
An hour later Tonks had been exposed to the full catalog of all the pets, real or imagined, that Stan Shunpike had had in his life. Most of the stories ended with, "...but it died from neglect." Occasionally this was peppered with, "...and the little bugger ran away."
The one silver lining about the conversation was that Stan got so involved in detailing every creature he'd encountered to try anymore of his flirting.
In the meantime Tonks was continually gauging their location as the countryside passed by. She judged it was now time to make her move.
"And what about this owl, Stan? Is it a pet or a colleague?" asked Tonks as she stood and moved to the owl in its cage behind Ernie.
"Why, this 'ere is Bronwen," said Stan. "You could say she's my pet."
"She's a pretty little thing," said Tonks sincerely.
"So are you," intoned Stan as he saw his opportunity to make his move on Tonks. Yep, he'd broken through the last of her barriers by showing her what a sensitive, nurturing guy he was. Girls were supposed to like that.
Tonks shook her head and averted her gaze in facsimile of appearing shy when in fact she rolled her eyes. By the time she turned back to Stan, she had her puppy-dog eyes at maximum function, complete with dilated pupils.
"Could I have a closer look at her, Stan? Please?"
x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x
HolyheadRemus Lupin stood at the train terminal at Holyhead as he anxiously waited for his lady. His entire house was pristine, a light supper was warming for them, logs were in the fireplace ready for lighting, her clothes were in the closet and the bedsheets were fresh. He had to dampen his thoughts at this and willed his breathing to calm down.
He smiled lightly as the passengers left the train, but then realized that several minutes had passed and still no Tonks. Finally, he heard the conductor talking to the engineer about no more passengers being left on the train.
Lupin raked a hand impatiently through his hair, but the bitter disappointment began welling in his heart. Tonks would not have stood him up, of that he was certain. But where was she? Why hadn't she sent word? It couldn't be Order business because the phoenix tattoo all members now wore had remained inert.
Lupin walked out of the station slowly and took one last look behind him. Then out of nowhere a little brown ball of feathers came swooping down at him. He snatched the note from the pygmy owl before it landed to make a perch of his shoulder. It was a Howler. What in the world could this mean?
He opened the note and heard an impressive tirade.
"Dear John,
I'm on the Knight Bus headed for Ireland. Yes, you heard right, IRELAND! Stan Shunpike has decided to be a stickler for the rules tonight and WON'T LET ME OFF! And don't even ask WHY I'm on it. We'll pass through Holyhead, but unless SOMEONE SUMMONS the bus, I'll be STUCK here with that MAGGOT for company until we drop the fare off at DUBLIN! I don't even want to THINK about seeing the Ferryman AGAIN!
And if I hear ONE more of Stan's LAME pick-up lines, I'm going to wind up spending MY holidays dealing with an inquiry on WHY a trained AUROR pulled out the TONGUE of the Knight Bus conductor and TIED HIM UP WITH IT and that, Johnnie Dear, means our tryst will be RUINED by a hormone-driven GIT whose idea of success is being the FERRYMAN'S apprentice which is actually in keeping with the fact he BARELY managed to graduate from HOGWARTS.
D'you know that when I threatened him with MY WAND--I mean here you have an AUROR THREATENING YOU WITH A WAND--and does he get a clue? NOOOO! HE thinks I was suggesting KINKY SEX!
Dammit, it is NOT FUNNY! If I'm going to fall into bed with ANYONE tonight, tomorrow and until the HEREAFTER, then I intend for that man to be YOU! SO SUMMON THE KNIGHT BUS AND GET ME AWAY FROM THAT--THAT BOY!
Love, Mary"
Lupin was laughing softly from relief as the Howler ripped itself into confetti. It would be easy enough to summon the Knight Bus. And in Holyhead, with the history of his ancestors below his feet, it would be possible to make sure the Knight Bus stopped.
x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x
The Knight BusStan Shunpike was very disappointed. "Tonks, I'm very disappointed."
"I know, I know, you've said it five times already," she muttered as she lost her patience. She had gotten the note to the pygmy owl, but was worried it would make its delivery in time to be useful.
"I thought we were connecting 'ere," whined Stan.
"Never, you--you worm squisher!" Tonks turned her back and checked on her bookworm. It was starting to look a bit pastel around the edges. She groaned, "Please, just let me off at Holyhead, Stan."
"Rules are rules, luv. You're an Auror. You should understand," said Stan. He fully intended to make Tonks pay for her betrayal. "And I'm not a worm squisher, nasty little things they are. The little runt's still alive."
Tonks clasped the book to herself protectively. "No thanks to you. I need to get him to a fresh book; he's conserved all the pages in this one already."
But then Bronwen the pygmy owl fluttered in through the window and dropped a small piece of parchment in front of Ernie the driver. The thick glasses he wore magnified the lettering. "Eh, we've got a summons, Stan. Remus Lupin at Holyhead needs to be picked up."
Stan ran to the front of the bus in disbelief.
"Remus Lupin? Oh, we can't go picking 'im up. He's a werewolf, 'e is," said Stan with a shudder.
"Oh, yes, you can," said Tonks as she leaned into Ernie from the other side. "It's not the week of a full moon."
"Don't listen to 'er, Ernie. We don't wanna werewolf on the bus," said Stan. He became anxious as he realized they were near Holyhead.
"He's summoned the bus and that means another fare. You have to stop for him, Ernie," repeated Tonks. Her escape was at hand if she could just get Ernie to cooperate.
"No, you don't," insisted Stan. "Lupin's a likken, uh, a lykthro, er, he's a Dark Creature, he's a monster, he's--"
"Right in front of us!" Even Ernie could detect the tall man who stood at the end of the headlights. Ernie tried to swerve, to morph and finally, to brake, but each effort was fruitless. He realized the Knight Bus was no longer under his control.
Tonks heart was pounding as she collision approached, hoping that Lupin was using another one of his tricks with wandless magic. Stan was too dumbfounded at the moment by the image of the tall man who stood there like a stone wall.
"We're gonna hit!" yelled Stan. "Do something, Ernie!"
But then the bus came to an abrupt halt. Stan took a big gulp of air and said, "That's some great driving, Ernie."
"It wasn't me; it's him," murmured Ernie under his breath as he finally put on the brake.
Stan looked out the front window to find Lupin was now standing calmly in front of them, hands in his pockets.
"Open the door, Stan," said Tonks sternly.
"No, we might be stopped, but there ain't no way I'm letting 'im..."
Stan quit talking as the door opened by itself. Lupin was no longer in front of the bus, but waiting just outside the door as Tonks quickly scurried out. She stumbled a bit on the last step, but strong arms adjusted her quickly to standing. Lupin only offered a light squeeze to her given their witnesses.
"Fine, then, get on, Lupin. We haven't got all day," said Stan in grudging defeat as he followed Tonks out. At least he could get Tonks away from the werewolf by letting the man on the Knight Bus.
"Sorry, I don't have the fare," said Lupin lightly. He and Tonks turned to walk away, but then they heard Stan calling.
"Oy, Tonks, whatcha doing going off with Lupin?"
Lupin put a hand on Tonks' shoulder to prevent her from retaliating. His own anger had dissipated now that he had his lady in hand, but he could see she was still boiling. And it was important that they maintain their alibi in front of witnesses.
The Professor turned and explained, "I'm helping the Aurors investigate a werewolf attack. You know, it takes one to know one?"
Stan stepped back at the menacing undertone from the man. "Shoulda known my Tonks wouldn't hang around an old mongrel like you unless it was work."
Lupin had to bite back a smile as he noticed the left eye of his lovely lady twitching. He wasn't surprised when she thrust the book she carried at him. Tonks then turned with her wand in hand. She was off duty and Stan was off the bus. This was now personal.
She took two steps and said slowly, "His name is Lupin, Stan, but I'll give you something to remember it. Pelo vermis."
Stan felt the slithering mass against his forehead as his hair turned into long, plump earthworms. They squirmed on his head, against his ears, and across his eyes. He could even feel them against the nape of his neck. "Augh! Get them off!"
"Don't you ever call this man names and don't you ever lay claim to me, you, you worm squishing git! Now, I'm willing to forget any of this ever happened, if you will, too." Her eyes flicked quickly to the squirming coif. "Unless you want to let the hex fade naturally? That should take a month.""
"Right, no names, no claims, just get them off!" Stan was backing toward the bus as he spoke.
Tonks didn't lift the hex until Stan had stepped back on the Knight Bus. He fainted in relief as the door closed. Tonks waved brightly at Ernie, who was relieved to have control of the Knight Bus again, before turning away.
"That was a brilliant hex," said Lupin in sincere admiration. "Horrible but harmless."
"It's a speciality," preened Tonks as she walked by his side. She was anxious to get Ket into a new book. "And was that a venificus primo trick to stopping the Knight Bus?"
"I could only do that on my home ground," admitted Lupin.
They had just entered the shadow of a building and Tonks felt herself pressed against the wall before Lupin kissed her. Cherish. It went a long way to making up for the horrid journey from London.
"Welcome to Holyhead," he said in a husky tone, but it was the way he whispered, "I love you," that made her feel she was home.
TBCAuthor Notes:
I'm sure Stan Shunpike has some redeeming qualities (he doesn't believe Harry is a nutter), but I decided not to explore any of them. I apologize to the Stan fans, but his interest in Tonks worked for me as soon as I began writing this chapter. I played around with a history between him and Tonks because I always thought that he was one of those men who always have the look of an adolescent about them regardless of true age.
Quetzalcoatl is the flying serpent of Aztec mythology. I found the contrasting image with the bookworm amusing.
Pelo vermis is not canon, but allowed me to develop a hex that would be icky without being harmful.
I know I said only two chapters, but again the choice was to rush or do it right. I need to do it right. Last chapter will be the fluff we've been waiting for and I'm working on it even now, but I wanted to get this one posted. Hope I finish this tomorrow.
