The middle-aged woman next to her asked solicitously, "Are you ok?"
"Argh, just boyfriend trouble. I so don't need this." Her eyes widened, 'Did I just say that? About Spike? Oh damn.'
"Men, can't live with them, can't shoot them." The woman commented with a smile.
Buffy laughed ruefully. "Too true!"
"Want to talk about it?"
"Couldn't hurt I guess. If you're sure you don't mind."
"It's a long flight and I can't face the business reports I brought right now."
"I guess it's kinda the usual, bad boy loves girl, girl doesn't want to love bad boy." She lapsed into silence.
"And... Let me guess, girl actually does care about bad boy?" The woman prompted.
"I don't want to. I've tried this before and it went so horribly wrong. I don't want it. I don't!" Her head dropped into her hands, "But he makes me feel so good. He can take everything I dish out, and I'm not a very nice person sometimes. He doesn't really complain. He likes my sister, tolerates my friends and my mom..." Her voice broke, "My mom really liked him. They got along, they'd sit and drink cocoa together, with little marshmallows in it." Tears slid down her cheeks as she continued, "It was kind of cute really. Here he was, Wi... this macho kind of guy drinking cocoa with my mom. I think he really misses her now that she's gone."
"I'm sorry."
"But he's rude and sarcastic and so totally annoying too. I told him it was over before I left for London, but I can't stop thinking about him. And I can't get him out of my dreams."
"Life is short. If you died tomorrow would your life have been better for him in it?"
"But I don't love him. I can't."
"Can't? I understand not loving someone, but can't love them? Who is stopping you?"
"It's just, he's so not my type. He's just not right for me."
"Just be sure you are the one making that judgment, not someone else, not some 'shouldn't' imposed by friends, family, or religion. I did that once. I've regretted it every day since. Would your life be better without him?"
"Yes, No, I don't know..." She thought for several moments before answering softly, "He makes me feel alive."
"Then touch passion. It comes along so rarely. Take it while you can."
