Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter's characters.
My Sin is Loving you
4° Chapter: "Where the destiny takes you."
Yesterday was our last encounter and our opportunity to say goodbye face to face but you didn't want to accept this and I, who already had accepted it, didn't have the courage to do it.
You were sure that life could not leave us like this, unfinished. You began to say all the things we could do, like run away, to change identities, live hidden but neither you and neither do I deserve that kind of life, to lived hidden as if we had killed someone. I thought in Sirius and what he had lived and I didn't want that for us or the baby. Richard was very clear about never leave us to be together and that if it is necessary, he would be going to follow us till the end of the world to make our lives and the lives of the ones we love miserable.
Our destiny was written and we have to accept it, we have to pay our duties and confront our acts. I began to expose why we can not be together. I hadn't finished my speech, which I believe was more to convince me than convince you, when suddenly you put your finger on my mouth and ask me to stay quiet for a moment, and to touch you gently and hold you tightly as I have never done and to give you a kiss, the deepest one. Then you looked straight to me, like you were memorizing every inch of me and you kiss me again. I think, maybe that was your way of telling me goodbye.
When I closed the door of the rented house, which had been our only witness, our sacred place, our protection of the outside world, our home, I felt that the house was not the only thing I had closed, I closed my hopes to try, my strength to continue and my faith to believe, in few words I had closed myself to love.
You are still hopeful, you are still waiting for a miracle but I have already made my mind. I can't let you fall, I can't let Richard destroy you or your family, as he had promised me to do it, but above everything, I can't let him hurt our baby because I already love him with such intensity that I could give my life to protect him, and I prefer that he has only one of his parents at his side that he hasn't anything. He is a gift from life and we have to take care of it although we are not together. He chose us as his parents and we could not fail him.
Life is a bad joke you know? because our baby is the only good reason I had to say goodbye to you and he is the bond who is going to join our lives forever.
Richard told me this morning that tomorrow we are leaving for Italy, to begin a new life, a life without you. I don't know why but I have the feeling that the baby is going to be a boy and I know that every time I look at his eyes, I would be like looking at yours, and every time he smiles it would be like seeing you smile, so for Richard's sorrow, this new life will not be completely without you.
I know that the time to say goodbye has come but I don't know how to do it. How do you say goodbye to the person you love? How can I say goodbye to you, my best friend, the one who always held my hand when I was afraid, the one who always knows what I am thinking although I don't say anything, the one who knows all my defects and still look at me as if I am perfect. How can I say goodbye without feeling I am dying inside?
Finally, I understand that saying goodbye would not finish with our love. A goodbye would not change into fantasy what was so real. I also understood that although we are not together doesn't mean you will not be near me because I can feel you in the air that touches my skin, because I can see you every time I close my eyes, because you will always be in my blood, in my soul, in my heart, in my mind, in every part of me.
5 years ago a wise woman told me that the woman who waits for the correct man to her, that man will never stop until he find her. Now I know that you are the correct man for me, and I am going to wait until you find me again, maybe in this life, maybe in another but you can be sure I would never be tired of waiting.
For now, I am going to keep my feelings and I am going to say goodbye, until the destiny wants to give us another chance and that day I am going to love you as the first time. That day I am going to give you back what always has been yours, my heart, my body and my soul.
With all the love in the world,
Hermione
Kristi and ThinkingOfaName: Sorry for taking so much time in up dating. This is the last chapter and I really hope you enjoy it. I don't know how to thank you for being so kind with me and for taking your time to read this, I know I am in debt with you but I just don't know how to pay you, if you know how let me know. I hope this would not be the last time I hear from you. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you, Thank you, Thank you, Thank you, Thank you, Thank you, Thank you, Thank you, Thank you, Thank you, Thank you.
