Title: The Road is Destiny
Author: Firefly Lantern
Rating: PG-13 for language and violence

Author Note: [kind of mean, but I'm making a point here] Okay, here it is. I openly admit I
have written a Mary Sue type story ::gasp!::. And you know what? I don't care
what any "Tolkien Purists" have to say about it. Whine all you would like, but please,
if you are going to tell me this story isn't HARDCORE Tolkien or whatever belittling
tidbits you'd like to throw my way, please email me instead of taking up space on the
review board. Thankies. ^.^. This story is for FUN. I am not trying to create a
masterpiece in the style of Tolkien, I prefer creativity and originality to redundancy.
Okies? An open mind is a wonderful thing! Have fun on the journey.
Hang in with me here!

Disclaimer: JRR owns the LOTR characters. Any other modern things mentioned here belong
to the makers, etc.

Oh, and P.S. Thank you for all the nice reviews!!!! You guys ROCK!
A new character is now added, lol, and she's of my own imagination... You'll see.
^.- . Okay, I really don't want to sound like a bizzach here... But in response
to Starbrat's review-- Naaaaaaaaaaw! Ya think! I only said for the last 6 chapters this
is a Mary Sue. I didn't think I would have to post that fact more than once every
chapter. ::hits two sticks together and tries to make fire::. Anyhoo, thanks to everyone
who has given this Mary Sue a chance. It isn't your average Sue fic. Okay, I'll stop
babblin' so you can read!



_The Road is Destiny_


#@$*ing sunlight! Julie grumbled, turning her back to the window and hiding her
head under the blanket. Her temples pulsed and her lips were parched. Uhhhhhhhhhhhh.
She couldn't get back to sleep now. Cursing the sun for shining so bright,
Julie dressed very slowly. Her fingers had problems doing-up the leather laces of
her boots and bodice. Hmm, she should have Merry stand on her stomach and pull at the
bodice laces for dear life, like they did in all the olden days movies. Ack, forget
about it. Right now, she had no problem with a half-assed tied bodice. Nothing was
hanging out, that's all that mattered...

Using the mirror of her foundation compact to catch a peek at her reflection, Julie
was startled to see she didn't look as wretched as she felt. Woo hoo! She felt much
better after a dusting of powder, a sweep of blush, and a flourish of lipstick. She
carefully brushed the tangles from her hair and braided it. Was anyone else up?
She didn't hear anyone groaning in agony... but someone was snoring like the dickens.

Julie peeped her head from behind the screen and clapped a hand over her mouth to stop
a loud guffaw which threatened to burst from her lungs. Oh geez...what the
hell happened last night?! Pippin slept backward, from the foot of the bed to the headboard.
Gimli had one leg on his bed, though the rest of him was sprawled on the floor. Merry didn't
have a blanket because Sam huggled two to his cheek. There was a happy grin on his sleeping face.
She didn't want to know... She jumped back and bounced on her bed as she sat down.
This was sooooo blackmail material, Julie smiled and began writing in her journal. Her pen
dropped to the floor as memories from the night before rushed at her like a flood dam
collapsing.

No... she didn't dance on the table...?

No... she didn't kiss Legolas...?

No... she couldn't face anyone now, or ever again!


She let out a whining groan which lasted a tortured 15 seconds. She curled into a ball and
covered her head with the blanket. Shame, oh shame... ...


"JULIE! Wake up!" Merry's whisper was an excited hiss. He poked his unruly blonde head
behind the screen and Julie groaned.

"Go away. I'm never leaving this bed. You must think I'm terrible for the way I acted
last night."

"No! You weren't terrible! Your dancing made us another 30 coins!" Pippin's grinning
face popped from the other side of the screen. She made a bunch of tormented, garbled sounds
and threw her pillow at him.

"No groaning!" Merry cried, accidentally bumping into the screen and knocking it to the
floor with such a boom, Sam jolted out of bed and landed on the floor.

"Merry!" Frodo griped.

No one else moved or even stopped snoring. Yeah, it made her feel safe to know these
were the men she entrusted her safety to ...

"Are thems tears, Miss Julie?"

"She thinks we don't like her because she got pinted and danced on the table."

Julie laughed at the simple way he put it.

"Pah! Miss Julie, that was inothing!/i. You never saw the time Aragorn--"

"Sam..." Frodo shook his head. Some stories were just too embarrassing to repeat.

"Wells, we don't thinks any less of you! You're a true lady! It's in the way
you walk and carry yourself." Sam spoke. "You ain't nobody's wench,
Miss Julie."

"Aww! Thank you!" She sniffled and found herself in the center of an impromptu
group hug. "You Hobbits are the best."

"The best what?"

"The best friends." She smiled. "Anyone up for a game of catch?"

"YES!"

_______________________

Legolas closed his eyes and pretended to sleep. Julie did not know Elves never
slept. She would probably apologize profusely to him when she found the chance...
The poor girl! He could not tell her the kiss was a thoroughly pleasant
experience. . . She was a beautiful young woman, of course he would enjoy it.
Besides, she probably had many suitors seeking her hand in marriage in Ohio.
He left it at that.

The game of catch went smoothly until an errant Nerfball throw knocked Gandalf's
hat from the nightstand. Everything hit the fan from there... Julie in the Hobbits
gaped in amazed facination.

In a perfect line of domino motion, the wizard hat flopped onto Gandalf's bearded face.
Thinking the worst, he sputtered and waved his arms in dazed defense. His hand bumped into
the wizard staff which rested against the wall. The wooden staff fell like a miniature
tree, right onto Boromir's stomach. He coughed, gasped for air, and went to reach for his
sword but he found himself teetering on the edge of the bed. Instinctively his hand shot
out to stop his decent. Instead of grabbing ahold of the bed, he caught Aragorn's arm
and both men fell to the floor in a tangle of blankets.

Oh damn! They really should start running away before anyone realized what was going
on. And who was responsible. Julie and the Hobbits shot like lightning for their beds.
Shit, the screen was on the floor!!!

*GO!! GOOOO!!* Julie motioned *Save yourselves!*

*We don't want to leave you behind!*

*Shut up and make like you're sleeping!* She made an urgent face.


They couldn't argue with a crazy woman.



"Oh! There's my ball! The wind must have blown it over here when I wasn't looking!"
Julie laughed, gliding over and snagging up the Nerf.

"Odd. Seeing as how the window is closed." Gandalf pointed out. Shooot!

"So it is!" She agreed all too brightly. She was doing a terrible job of covering up.
And everyone knew it. The "sleeping" Hobbits burst into fits of giggles and snorting
laughter. "Oh, THANKS!" Her anger only fueled on their amusement. Soon, even
Gandalf, Aragorn, and Boromir were cackling and howling. Julie put her hands on her hips.
So much for a honourable self-sacrifice! She turned her head and caught a smile from Legolas.
She blushed and smiled shyly before looking away.

"Let's get breakfast!" Pippin cheered. "Since everyone's awake!"

Gimli let out a rattling snore.

Everyone giggled.

________________

Breakfast in the tavern... Sigh. Julie delicately stirred sweet cream into her tea.
Oh yeah. NOW they served tea...When all the slobbering alcholics weren't around. She fumed.

"So what are we doin' today?" Merry took a big bite out of an apple.

"I plan to go back to sleep." Gandalf sipped his tea. "And I dare to hope none of you
will be present to spoil it.". Merry stuck out his tongue.

"Um... Since everyone is here, I'd like to apologize for how I acted last night. I'm sorry
I was such an embarrassment ... I am very very sorry about it." Julie blurted, she couldn't
keep quiet any longer. "Can you forgive me?"

"Forgive you? Huh!" Gimli gurgled. "I don't know of a single Dwarvish woman who can dance
better!" His laugh reverberated. "You did fine, lass."

Julie blushed.

"Was it like this?" Frodo stood and began swivelling his hips in an attempt to recreate
her dance.

"No no, Frodo. Put your back into it." Pippin hopped to his feet and demonstrated all too
well.

"Stop! Stop!" Julie wailed, hiding her face in her hands. Shame, oh shame! She would never
live this down.

Boromir laughed heartily.

"Ha! You never witnessed then time when Aragorn--"

The Ranger hit Boromir in the shoulder. Some stories were just too embarrassing to repeat.

"Your apology is accepted though not necessary, Julie." Aragorn bowed his head. "Too much
drink often makes a person misplace common wit."

Boromir coughed.

Frodo cleared his throat.

The rest of the Fellowship tried to hide snickers.



It appeared someone else had blackmail material! Julie smiled.

___________________

The party spent the morning browsing the marketplace. The idea of actually
having real money to spend was like hooking an iv of pure sugar to the Hobbits'
veins. They could not keep still or hide their excitement. Julie laughed at their
hyper antics, she enjoyed seeing them so full of glee.

A pang of guilt wrenched her heart as she realized she hadn't thought of her family
or friends since the first day she fell into Middle-Earth. Being stranded in a strange
dimension and being attacked by hellish creatcures made a person forget about trivial
things such as the Mall or the movies... Patrick and her mother probably guessed someone
had kidnapped, raped, and murdered her. It was a horrific thought, picturing them
going through so much grief and agony... Julie's eyes stung as if pricked by hot pins.
She refused to cry and spoil the others' merriment.

"Frodo! LOOKSIES!" Merry gasped and pointed. "Birds!" He dragged Frodo by the arm into the
seller's stall.

It's a shame to see creatures in cages, Juile thought as she followed them.

"Merry! Don't touch that!"

Too late.


The din was nerve-racking. Wooden cages--all empty--tumbled to the ground.
Feathers flipped into the air as startled birds flailed their wings, and startled squeaks
sqwaked from both birds and Hobbits alike. Oh Lord... Frodo stepped back to avoid getting clocked
by a falling cage and knocked into a large cage holding something which appeared to be
a hawk. Julie moved to catch it; she curled her fingers around the thick wooden bars.
She couldn't keep it from falling, but she lessened the impact.

It made contact against the ground. The door flung open and out screeeeeeeched a
black spawn of hell. It flew right at Julie.

"Don't move, girl!" Warned the shoppekeeper. "That there bird dun clawed a man's eyes out!"
Julie froze. It perched on her shoulder.

Wucking fonderful.

She was so scared she couldn't even blink. Or breathe.

"What is this thing?" She spoke through a closed mouth. "It has a tail..."

"It be a bastard freak of nature. Part gryffin, park hawk. It only has the tail
of the furry beast. The rest is hawk."

"Yes. And ... It's purring." Julie laughed nervously as the creature rubbed it's head against
her cheek and purred in her ear. "Is it going to eat me?"

"Well I'll be! The damned thing likes you!"

"Hey! Watch your language! There are Hobbits present!" Julie glared at the man. So did the creature.
He cowered in fear. Cool!

"Fine fine! Sorry! I'll give you the creature for free... But you need to buy a hawking glove and the
likes if you think you can train it."

"Done." She gave the man a handful of coins and in return he handed over a leather sachel filled with
everything she would need. She put on the large, tough leather glove and the creature hopped onto her
hand with a meow. Vicious creature, her ass! "Is it male or female?"

"Female."

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay! She was no longer the only girl in the group!!!!!

She thanked the man and then ran from the stall, pulling Merry and Frodo along.

"Woo! Julie! What are you going to do with her?" Merry asked in awe.

"Release her back into the wild. Fly, bird!" Yeah, the marketplace really wasn't the Great Wilderness.
But she put her hand into the air. The creature didn't move! It only purred louder.
Stupid thing. "Uh... For the moment, I'm gonna hood it, so it doesn't get startled." She whispered
softly as she covered the creature's eyes. No wonder it seemed so fierce! The moron of a birdkeeper
didn't even have a hood over its eyes. Grr.

"Are you going to name her?"

"Sure! For the time being, until she is free that is." Julie replied. "Let's call her... I don't know!
Any suggestions?" They shook their heads. "Allright... Eris then [aptly named after the Greek goddess
of dischord]."

"Oh!" The Hobbits commented. "What does it mean?"

"Chaos, basically."

"Merry! Frodo! Julie!" Aragorn called to them.

"What is... that?!" Boromir pointed to Eris, who mewed loudly. The bird sounded like a cat!

"Uh... Some sort of gryffin-hawk ... thing. It attacked me, so the shoppekeeper gave her
to me. Yeah, special, I know." Julie muttered. "Eris really isn't such a meanie.
She's just been stuck in a cage for too long. She'll be fine when she gets back to the
forest. But she won't fly away!"

"Perhaps she likes you." Boromir quirked an eyebrow.

Wow, her very own 'attack Gryffin-Hawk'. COOL. Drunken men across the land would run from
her in utter terror. Mwahahaha.

"Come, we have much shopping to finish!" Aragorn motioned.

Onward!!!