Title: The Road is Destiny
Author: Firefly Lantern
Rating: PG-13 for language and violence
Author Note: [kind of mean, but I'm making a point here] Okay, here it is. I openly admit I
have written a Mary Sue type story ::gasp!::. And you know what? I don't care
what any "Tolkien Purists" have to say about it. Whine all you would like, but please,
if you are going to tell me this story isn't HARDCORE Tolkien or whatever belittling
tidbits you'd like to throw my way, please email me instead of taking up space on the
review board. Thankies. ^.^. This story is for FUN. I am not trying to create a
masterpiece in the style of Tolkien, I prefer creativity and originality to redundancy.
Okies? An open mind is a wonderful thing! Have fun on the journey.
Hang in with me here!
Disclaimer: JRR owns the LOTR characters. Any other modern things mentioned here belong
to the makers, etc.
Oh, and P.S. Things are heating up again!
_The Road is Destiny_
Julie stared numbly at the thick wooden beams of the ceiling. Her hazel eyes were wide and she panted in fear. In Middle-Earth, both sleeping and passing out were harmful to her health. There was something out there... Some evil creature who wanted to find her. But why? Julie couldn't do magic; she wasn't a princess. Hell, she wasn't special at all. She was a girl who had once tried to make microwave popcorn on the stove when the microwave was broken. Yeah, evil and good alike were not likely to tremble in her awesomeness. It made no sense! She pounded her hands against the mattress and scooted to take a seat on the side of the bed. God, this wasn't good at all. With evil creatures already after Frodo, having even more beasties hunting for *her* made double trouble for the group she had grown to care about.
But what should she do? Talk to Aragorn? If he knew who or what she was talking about, he would feel obligated to protect her and thus more danger would be made for the group. Yet if she didn't say anything, she could possibly be endangering their lives even more. ACK! She did not want to be a burden to the already weary band of travelers. Whatever quest they were on was already perilous enough without having to care for a helpless young woman. Julie wanted to run away in the night so they wouldn't know of her departure. Chances were good she would end up dying in the woods of starvation or an Orc ambush...
She gathered Pierre from the floor and put him in her purse. The only half-decent solution she could think of was to learn how to defend herself. If the village of Morlye wasn't too far away, she wouldn't have to tell anyone that some Evil Eye was looking for her. Sleep be damned, she wasn't going to even try to fall back to sleep. An evil eye and a lady in white were enough to Julie wary of hitting the hay.
Instead, she began writing about what she saw in her journal, complete with rough sketches of the Evil Eye and the Lady in White. She missed home! True, she had been miserable and overlooked, but at least there weren't ten million different torturous, evil-creatured ways to die in Ohio. Patrick would love living in Middle Earth; the idea of running from monsters and fighting with real swords would over-load his hyperactive mind. Guys could be the heroes, and usually were in fantasy stories. Whereas the women had to wear ornately beaded, puffy gowns and pine for their brave love's safety. Bull puckey! Julie knew how to ride a horse, her grandparents on the Anderson side owned a farm in the country. She had been riding since she was 6, and personally she thought there were better things to do than curl her hair and play dress up. Secretly, she wished she were more graceful. And that her thighs would shrink some. And that her hair would grow longer. Overall, though, she was happy with herself. At least she had been back in Ohio. Now, she was playing by a completely different set of rules in another game. Her life now relied on basic survival skills that she did not possess.
Julie distractedly closed the journal and replaced it in her purse. Odd, all that remained of her life was jammed into her purse. It was all she owned in the entire world. The thought scared the hell out of her. She worriedly paced in front of the window, causing Eris to mew in concern. Heh, even the griffin-hawk felt obliged to protect her.
"Is everything groovy, Miss Julie?" Samwise peeked at her. He noticed her flushed face and the protective way in which her arms wrapped around her middle. "You should be restin' if your tummy is achin'." His eyes softened. Julie gave him a watery smile.
"Nah, I'm not tired and my tummy isn't bothering me anymore."
"Miss Julie, will you please tell us more about Ohio?"
"Sure thing, Sam." Julie came out from behind the privacy screen. She took a seat with Pippin on his bed. Frodo and Merry sat on the opposite bed, and Sam scooted beside Julie.
"What do you Hobbits want to know about? Anything in particular?"
"Are you married?" Pippin asked innocently enough.
"Uh, no. I'm only 19 years old and I live with my mom and my brother, Patrick."
"Are there apples in Ohio?" Merry asked.
"Yes, as weird as it is. But there aren't any Hobbits in Ohio. Or Elves, Dwarves, or wizards. Only people. And there isn't any magic, or big scary Orcs."
"Dragons?"
"No dragons."
The Hobbits made sounds of disbelief.
"Is there beer in Ohio?"
"Ha! There will always be beer in Ohio!" Julie laughed and the Hobbits joined in.
"What about war?"
"There really aren't big, over-drawn battles between people. When anyone goes to war, they use planes and bombs. Planes are machines that fly, and bombs are big round things that explode whenever they hit the ground."
"They rain fire from the sky?"
"Yes. And they destroy everything. That's the nature of man-to destroy and to gain money. Hey hey. Don't look so gloomy, guys. Not everyone is bad. Take Gandalf Rumble-Snores and Aragorn, for example. They are men of honour and courage. They have noble hearts."
"Do you miss Ohio?"
Julie nodded, unable to say anything. If they only knew...
"I miss the Shire." Frodo commented in a small voice. "I miss home."
Everyone was speechless, consumed by their private thoughts and inner sorrows. Dang, it was depressing.
"All right! Enough wallowing around in self-pity. My lads, let's go get something to drink! My treat." Who cared if it was still too early in the afternoon to drink alcohol? They drink all the time in France, Julie justified. After Frodo locked the door behind them, he gave the key to Julie. She shrugged and decided to slip the key into the crevice of her bodice like she had seen done in sooo many movies.
There weren't that many people in the tavern, compared to the evening before. The air was stale with pipe smoke and old beer. Julie was beginning to think this was the best Middle-Earth could offer, and right now it was The Ritz.
"Five pints." Pippin ordered from a barmaid. He used a flint stone to light up his pipe, Julie quirked an eyebrow when he told her it was "Hobbit Weed".
"Sure it is! Wink wink!" She winked dramatically at him.
"What?!" He laughed, not getting her inference.
"Nothing. I was only teasing you." She had trouble lifting the heavy beer stein to her lips. Some of the foam went into her nose, causing her to cough and sneeze at the same time. As Julie used her sleeve to wipe her face, she noticed a table of men in the corner of the tavern watching her with hungry eyes. In Ohio, she'd call them seedy, but in Middle-Earth, she'd call them tavern scum. Every world needed their supply of brazen perverts, and that is what those men were. Julie averted her eyes, her first instinct was to protect the Hobbits. They had to get out of this situation before anything bad had a chance to happen. "Come on, let's go back up to the room. Bring your beer, kiddies." Julie did her best not to make glaring eye contact with the table of three men. Too late, one of the men laughed heartily and swaggered toward Julie and the Hobbits' table. The Hobbits tensed and Julie told them to stay calm. The man was a beast! He was at least 275 lbs and 6' woah-there tall. Damn! She left her purse in the room upstairs!
"How much for your wench?"
"Excuse me, Bubba?" Julie snorted.
"I asked the gentlemen... How much for your wench."
"She isn't ours. She belongs to Boromir of Gondor, a fierce and merciless
warrior-prince." Frodo coughed smugly for show and took a large gulp of beer to strengthen his nerves.
"Huh. I don't see no merciless warrior-prince around. Unless YOU'RE Boromir, little man." The Beast poked Frodo in the chest and hooked his finger around the ring he wore around his neck on a chain.
"Don't touch that!" Sam yelled, bristling and jumping to his feet.
The Beast quirked his lips and snapped the chain, holding the ring between his large fingers.
"This ring must be valuable to you. The ring for the wench. I want you little maggots gone, I need some private time with the lady here." He smiled a disgusting, decayed grin. Julie was going to be ill.
She saw hesitation frown across the Hobbits' faces. Sheesh, thanks guys! She felt unloved for a second until she realized the ring must be VERY important for them to seriously think about trading her off to Attila the Hun. Well, a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do. She took a self-defense seminar at college. True, it was only for one day. But she was sure she could take this guy out, and she wasn't talking about candlelight and dinner for two!
"Give back the ring. And I'm yours." Julie's hand innocently went to her stroke her chest, right above the hint of her modest cleavage.
"MISS JULIE!" Sam cried, shocked.
"JULIE!!!" Pippin and Merry gaped. Frodo stared, aghast.
"Come on, you can afford to share me." She turned to Pippin and winked in conspiracy. "Go to the room and wait for me to return." Her lips went to his cheek in a kiss as she whispered in his ear. She patted his leg and left the room key she secretly pulled from her bodice.
"No! We can run..."
"You need the ring. Don't pretend otherwise. And no one is going to get hurt because Bubba over there wants to play a little hanky panky with a wench. Go! Wake Gandalf. I'll be making a run for the room as soon as I can, but I don't know how things will turn out. Hurry!" She urged in a whisper, putting a hand on Merry's cheek and patting Samwise's moptop as she sashayed over to the Beast. "I think you have something that belongs to me?" She cast him a sultry glace and took the ring, knotted on the golden chain, from his large hands. She dangled the jewelry in front of his face like a hypnotizing pendulum then made a show of placing it in her bodice. Damn, a bodice was too much fun. Especially when it held wonderful little surprises for freaky perverts. The Hobbits reluctantly scurried from the table; Julie watched them flee up the stairs to the balcony that encircled the inside of the tavern. Merry and Sam watched her from outside the door as Frodo and Pippin ran inside to wake Gandalf.
"You're a pretty thing." Bubba the Beast chuckled to himself as he took her by the arm and led her outside the tavern. Where the heck were they going? Back to the cave he crawled out of.
"I know. Now let go of my arm." She tried to pry his dirty fingers from her arm. DAMN, she hadn't realized how big and strong he was.
"Nay, Sweetness. You'll run away as soon as I let go. And we don't want that, now do we?"
"I do, asshole!" Julie shouted, mule kicking his knee so it bent the wrong way. She heard the joint pop as he let go of her and tilted to one side in pain. Using the heel of her hand, she popped him one in the throat so he fell to the ground, gasping for breath.
Flying on an adrenaline high, Julie didn't see his two friends coming at her until it was too late. Strong arms held her from behind: one arm gripped her by the throat and one arm snaked under her arm to grope at her breasts.
Outraged and annoyed, Julie reached into her bodice to pull out her bodice dagger. She slashed the blade across the thick arm at her chest then ducked to avoid being caught again by the neck. She kicked him in the groin and panted as the bald man with torn clothes circled around her. Julie held the dagger firmly in her hand and breathed heavy. She didn't know if she had the strength to take on this guy. So she did what any other girl would do in this situation...
"No! Don't use your battle-ax, Rory! He'll bleed too much when you hack his head off!" She hollered and pointed to a non-existent accomplice. Julie took off running as the bald man nearly tripped over his own two feet when he turned his head in fear. Julie didn't look back to see, she kept running back into the tavern. And boy, was is hell trying to run in a dress; she had her skirt hiked up all the way to her knees as she jumped over Bubba the Beast and flew toward the tavern. She ran right into Gandalf and nearly mowed over Merry and Frodo. The wizard put a gentle arm on her shoulder to steay her gait.
"Right... behind... me!" She panted, twitching her head to where the bald guy was.
"Allow me." Gandalf said in a smooth, mellow voice. He raised his staff and the three men were surrounded in a blue-grayish fog. Everyone watched at the men began to stumble around as if they were heinously drunk.
"It is only a small confusion spell mixed with a potent memory lapse spell." The wizard winked. "The poor fellows won't remember what happened to them, which is all for the best, considering." He chuckled in wry amusement. They watched the men groan and walk in stumbling, bumbling circles. At that very instant, Legolas, Boromir, Aragorn, and Gimli returned to the tavern.
"What the hell happened here?!" Aragorn surveyed the scene with wide eyes and a shaking head.
"They tried to buy YOUR wench, Boromir!" Sam squeaked, nearly giggling.
"My...? Oh! Yes!" Boromir's lips curled into an attractive, bright smile.
"Julie, are you unharmed?" Legolas' brow furrowed in all seriousness as he prowled to her and touched her arm. Julie blushed at the realization that she enjoyed it when he touched her arm. Both men had held her arm in the same place, yet the touches and the meaning behind them were totally different.
"I'm okay! Just kind of nervous and jittery."
It was Legolas' turn to blush and step back.
"The lass can't be left alone! Anyone as beautiful as she is BOUND to attract trouble! Aruff!" Gimli barked though pleased that Julie had handled herself so well.
"No one ever mad such a fuss about a wrinkled old goat like me. Hmph." Gandalf adjusted the rim of his hat.
"Still. I worry about Lady Julie's safety. We all are more concerned." Boromir added.
"Uh, just teach me how to use my Halberd. Once I can defend myself I won't be such a burden." She tried to be convincing, but no one believed her. "Hey! I'm not completely helpless! Just because I am a girl doesn't mean I am stupid or weak! Where I come from, you aren't faced with having to fight for your life every hour and you don't need to know how to use a sword and there aren't so many hideously evil things running around trying to hurt you and I'm really scared right now and I'm going to cry all over the place because I really need a hug because I can't stop babbling and I probably sound really really stupid but I don't care because I just had three guys come after me and I didn't think I could make it out of this alive but I managed to do it and yes, I'm crying all over the place again like a stupid idiot-" She gasped to take a big breath and found herself wrapped in someone's assuring arms. Her eyes squeezed shut to stop the flow of tears from spilling onto her cheeks. Damn, she really needed to stop crying all the time.
But, who was hugging her?!
Author: Firefly Lantern
Rating: PG-13 for language and violence
Author Note: [kind of mean, but I'm making a point here] Okay, here it is. I openly admit I
have written a Mary Sue type story ::gasp!::. And you know what? I don't care
what any "Tolkien Purists" have to say about it. Whine all you would like, but please,
if you are going to tell me this story isn't HARDCORE Tolkien or whatever belittling
tidbits you'd like to throw my way, please email me instead of taking up space on the
review board. Thankies. ^.^. This story is for FUN. I am not trying to create a
masterpiece in the style of Tolkien, I prefer creativity and originality to redundancy.
Okies? An open mind is a wonderful thing! Have fun on the journey.
Hang in with me here!
Disclaimer: JRR owns the LOTR characters. Any other modern things mentioned here belong
to the makers, etc.
Oh, and P.S. Things are heating up again!
_The Road is Destiny_
Julie stared numbly at the thick wooden beams of the ceiling. Her hazel eyes were wide and she panted in fear. In Middle-Earth, both sleeping and passing out were harmful to her health. There was something out there... Some evil creature who wanted to find her. But why? Julie couldn't do magic; she wasn't a princess. Hell, she wasn't special at all. She was a girl who had once tried to make microwave popcorn on the stove when the microwave was broken. Yeah, evil and good alike were not likely to tremble in her awesomeness. It made no sense! She pounded her hands against the mattress and scooted to take a seat on the side of the bed. God, this wasn't good at all. With evil creatures already after Frodo, having even more beasties hunting for *her* made double trouble for the group she had grown to care about.
But what should she do? Talk to Aragorn? If he knew who or what she was talking about, he would feel obligated to protect her and thus more danger would be made for the group. Yet if she didn't say anything, she could possibly be endangering their lives even more. ACK! She did not want to be a burden to the already weary band of travelers. Whatever quest they were on was already perilous enough without having to care for a helpless young woman. Julie wanted to run away in the night so they wouldn't know of her departure. Chances were good she would end up dying in the woods of starvation or an Orc ambush...
She gathered Pierre from the floor and put him in her purse. The only half-decent solution she could think of was to learn how to defend herself. If the village of Morlye wasn't too far away, she wouldn't have to tell anyone that some Evil Eye was looking for her. Sleep be damned, she wasn't going to even try to fall back to sleep. An evil eye and a lady in white were enough to Julie wary of hitting the hay.
Instead, she began writing about what she saw in her journal, complete with rough sketches of the Evil Eye and the Lady in White. She missed home! True, she had been miserable and overlooked, but at least there weren't ten million different torturous, evil-creatured ways to die in Ohio. Patrick would love living in Middle Earth; the idea of running from monsters and fighting with real swords would over-load his hyperactive mind. Guys could be the heroes, and usually were in fantasy stories. Whereas the women had to wear ornately beaded, puffy gowns and pine for their brave love's safety. Bull puckey! Julie knew how to ride a horse, her grandparents on the Anderson side owned a farm in the country. She had been riding since she was 6, and personally she thought there were better things to do than curl her hair and play dress up. Secretly, she wished she were more graceful. And that her thighs would shrink some. And that her hair would grow longer. Overall, though, she was happy with herself. At least she had been back in Ohio. Now, she was playing by a completely different set of rules in another game. Her life now relied on basic survival skills that she did not possess.
Julie distractedly closed the journal and replaced it in her purse. Odd, all that remained of her life was jammed into her purse. It was all she owned in the entire world. The thought scared the hell out of her. She worriedly paced in front of the window, causing Eris to mew in concern. Heh, even the griffin-hawk felt obliged to protect her.
"Is everything groovy, Miss Julie?" Samwise peeked at her. He noticed her flushed face and the protective way in which her arms wrapped around her middle. "You should be restin' if your tummy is achin'." His eyes softened. Julie gave him a watery smile.
"Nah, I'm not tired and my tummy isn't bothering me anymore."
"Miss Julie, will you please tell us more about Ohio?"
"Sure thing, Sam." Julie came out from behind the privacy screen. She took a seat with Pippin on his bed. Frodo and Merry sat on the opposite bed, and Sam scooted beside Julie.
"What do you Hobbits want to know about? Anything in particular?"
"Are you married?" Pippin asked innocently enough.
"Uh, no. I'm only 19 years old and I live with my mom and my brother, Patrick."
"Are there apples in Ohio?" Merry asked.
"Yes, as weird as it is. But there aren't any Hobbits in Ohio. Or Elves, Dwarves, or wizards. Only people. And there isn't any magic, or big scary Orcs."
"Dragons?"
"No dragons."
The Hobbits made sounds of disbelief.
"Is there beer in Ohio?"
"Ha! There will always be beer in Ohio!" Julie laughed and the Hobbits joined in.
"What about war?"
"There really aren't big, over-drawn battles between people. When anyone goes to war, they use planes and bombs. Planes are machines that fly, and bombs are big round things that explode whenever they hit the ground."
"They rain fire from the sky?"
"Yes. And they destroy everything. That's the nature of man-to destroy and to gain money. Hey hey. Don't look so gloomy, guys. Not everyone is bad. Take Gandalf Rumble-Snores and Aragorn, for example. They are men of honour and courage. They have noble hearts."
"Do you miss Ohio?"
Julie nodded, unable to say anything. If they only knew...
"I miss the Shire." Frodo commented in a small voice. "I miss home."
Everyone was speechless, consumed by their private thoughts and inner sorrows. Dang, it was depressing.
"All right! Enough wallowing around in self-pity. My lads, let's go get something to drink! My treat." Who cared if it was still too early in the afternoon to drink alcohol? They drink all the time in France, Julie justified. After Frodo locked the door behind them, he gave the key to Julie. She shrugged and decided to slip the key into the crevice of her bodice like she had seen done in sooo many movies.
There weren't that many people in the tavern, compared to the evening before. The air was stale with pipe smoke and old beer. Julie was beginning to think this was the best Middle-Earth could offer, and right now it was The Ritz.
"Five pints." Pippin ordered from a barmaid. He used a flint stone to light up his pipe, Julie quirked an eyebrow when he told her it was "Hobbit Weed".
"Sure it is! Wink wink!" She winked dramatically at him.
"What?!" He laughed, not getting her inference.
"Nothing. I was only teasing you." She had trouble lifting the heavy beer stein to her lips. Some of the foam went into her nose, causing her to cough and sneeze at the same time. As Julie used her sleeve to wipe her face, she noticed a table of men in the corner of the tavern watching her with hungry eyes. In Ohio, she'd call them seedy, but in Middle-Earth, she'd call them tavern scum. Every world needed their supply of brazen perverts, and that is what those men were. Julie averted her eyes, her first instinct was to protect the Hobbits. They had to get out of this situation before anything bad had a chance to happen. "Come on, let's go back up to the room. Bring your beer, kiddies." Julie did her best not to make glaring eye contact with the table of three men. Too late, one of the men laughed heartily and swaggered toward Julie and the Hobbits' table. The Hobbits tensed and Julie told them to stay calm. The man was a beast! He was at least 275 lbs and 6' woah-there tall. Damn! She left her purse in the room upstairs!
"How much for your wench?"
"Excuse me, Bubba?" Julie snorted.
"I asked the gentlemen... How much for your wench."
"She isn't ours. She belongs to Boromir of Gondor, a fierce and merciless
warrior-prince." Frodo coughed smugly for show and took a large gulp of beer to strengthen his nerves.
"Huh. I don't see no merciless warrior-prince around. Unless YOU'RE Boromir, little man." The Beast poked Frodo in the chest and hooked his finger around the ring he wore around his neck on a chain.
"Don't touch that!" Sam yelled, bristling and jumping to his feet.
The Beast quirked his lips and snapped the chain, holding the ring between his large fingers.
"This ring must be valuable to you. The ring for the wench. I want you little maggots gone, I need some private time with the lady here." He smiled a disgusting, decayed grin. Julie was going to be ill.
She saw hesitation frown across the Hobbits' faces. Sheesh, thanks guys! She felt unloved for a second until she realized the ring must be VERY important for them to seriously think about trading her off to Attila the Hun. Well, a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do. She took a self-defense seminar at college. True, it was only for one day. But she was sure she could take this guy out, and she wasn't talking about candlelight and dinner for two!
"Give back the ring. And I'm yours." Julie's hand innocently went to her stroke her chest, right above the hint of her modest cleavage.
"MISS JULIE!" Sam cried, shocked.
"JULIE!!!" Pippin and Merry gaped. Frodo stared, aghast.
"Come on, you can afford to share me." She turned to Pippin and winked in conspiracy. "Go to the room and wait for me to return." Her lips went to his cheek in a kiss as she whispered in his ear. She patted his leg and left the room key she secretly pulled from her bodice.
"No! We can run..."
"You need the ring. Don't pretend otherwise. And no one is going to get hurt because Bubba over there wants to play a little hanky panky with a wench. Go! Wake Gandalf. I'll be making a run for the room as soon as I can, but I don't know how things will turn out. Hurry!" She urged in a whisper, putting a hand on Merry's cheek and patting Samwise's moptop as she sashayed over to the Beast. "I think you have something that belongs to me?" She cast him a sultry glace and took the ring, knotted on the golden chain, from his large hands. She dangled the jewelry in front of his face like a hypnotizing pendulum then made a show of placing it in her bodice. Damn, a bodice was too much fun. Especially when it held wonderful little surprises for freaky perverts. The Hobbits reluctantly scurried from the table; Julie watched them flee up the stairs to the balcony that encircled the inside of the tavern. Merry and Sam watched her from outside the door as Frodo and Pippin ran inside to wake Gandalf.
"You're a pretty thing." Bubba the Beast chuckled to himself as he took her by the arm and led her outside the tavern. Where the heck were they going? Back to the cave he crawled out of.
"I know. Now let go of my arm." She tried to pry his dirty fingers from her arm. DAMN, she hadn't realized how big and strong he was.
"Nay, Sweetness. You'll run away as soon as I let go. And we don't want that, now do we?"
"I do, asshole!" Julie shouted, mule kicking his knee so it bent the wrong way. She heard the joint pop as he let go of her and tilted to one side in pain. Using the heel of her hand, she popped him one in the throat so he fell to the ground, gasping for breath.
Flying on an adrenaline high, Julie didn't see his two friends coming at her until it was too late. Strong arms held her from behind: one arm gripped her by the throat and one arm snaked under her arm to grope at her breasts.
Outraged and annoyed, Julie reached into her bodice to pull out her bodice dagger. She slashed the blade across the thick arm at her chest then ducked to avoid being caught again by the neck. She kicked him in the groin and panted as the bald man with torn clothes circled around her. Julie held the dagger firmly in her hand and breathed heavy. She didn't know if she had the strength to take on this guy. So she did what any other girl would do in this situation...
"No! Don't use your battle-ax, Rory! He'll bleed too much when you hack his head off!" She hollered and pointed to a non-existent accomplice. Julie took off running as the bald man nearly tripped over his own two feet when he turned his head in fear. Julie didn't look back to see, she kept running back into the tavern. And boy, was is hell trying to run in a dress; she had her skirt hiked up all the way to her knees as she jumped over Bubba the Beast and flew toward the tavern. She ran right into Gandalf and nearly mowed over Merry and Frodo. The wizard put a gentle arm on her shoulder to steay her gait.
"Right... behind... me!" She panted, twitching her head to where the bald guy was.
"Allow me." Gandalf said in a smooth, mellow voice. He raised his staff and the three men were surrounded in a blue-grayish fog. Everyone watched at the men began to stumble around as if they were heinously drunk.
"It is only a small confusion spell mixed with a potent memory lapse spell." The wizard winked. "The poor fellows won't remember what happened to them, which is all for the best, considering." He chuckled in wry amusement. They watched the men groan and walk in stumbling, bumbling circles. At that very instant, Legolas, Boromir, Aragorn, and Gimli returned to the tavern.
"What the hell happened here?!" Aragorn surveyed the scene with wide eyes and a shaking head.
"They tried to buy YOUR wench, Boromir!" Sam squeaked, nearly giggling.
"My...? Oh! Yes!" Boromir's lips curled into an attractive, bright smile.
"Julie, are you unharmed?" Legolas' brow furrowed in all seriousness as he prowled to her and touched her arm. Julie blushed at the realization that she enjoyed it when he touched her arm. Both men had held her arm in the same place, yet the touches and the meaning behind them were totally different.
"I'm okay! Just kind of nervous and jittery."
It was Legolas' turn to blush and step back.
"The lass can't be left alone! Anyone as beautiful as she is BOUND to attract trouble! Aruff!" Gimli barked though pleased that Julie had handled herself so well.
"No one ever mad such a fuss about a wrinkled old goat like me. Hmph." Gandalf adjusted the rim of his hat.
"Still. I worry about Lady Julie's safety. We all are more concerned." Boromir added.
"Uh, just teach me how to use my Halberd. Once I can defend myself I won't be such a burden." She tried to be convincing, but no one believed her. "Hey! I'm not completely helpless! Just because I am a girl doesn't mean I am stupid or weak! Where I come from, you aren't faced with having to fight for your life every hour and you don't need to know how to use a sword and there aren't so many hideously evil things running around trying to hurt you and I'm really scared right now and I'm going to cry all over the place because I really need a hug because I can't stop babbling and I probably sound really really stupid but I don't care because I just had three guys come after me and I didn't think I could make it out of this alive but I managed to do it and yes, I'm crying all over the place again like a stupid idiot-" She gasped to take a big breath and found herself wrapped in someone's assuring arms. Her eyes squeezed shut to stop the flow of tears from spilling onto her cheeks. Damn, she really needed to stop crying all the time.
But, who was hugging her?!
