Chapter 4: J.T. and Terra's Date
An hour later, J.T., wearing a red shirt over his armor and a pair of khakis with black shoes, was waiting by his car for Terra. Terra walked in wearing a white blouse, white skirt and black high heel shoes about a minute and a half later.
"Terra, is that you?" J.T. asked.
"Well duh, of course it is. Who were you expecting?" Terra asked back.
"Well, it's just I've never seen you wearing a skirt, you know?" J.T. replied.
"Well, when you put it that way, maybe I don't want to go out tonight," said Terra.
"Aw come on. You know what I mean," said J.T.
"Yeah, I'm just messing with you," said Terra jokingly.
J.T. opened the car door for Terra. Beast Boy saw J.T. coming and turned into a lizard and hid under one of the seats. Terra got in first, then J.T. got in and the two headed off without a peep to the others. J.T. headed down to the local pizza restaurant first. J.T. and Terra got a seat outside. Beast Boy saw that the coast was clear and turned into a sparrow and flew up to the roof. Beast Boy knew what he was going to do: mess up J.T. and Terra's orders. J.T. ordered a large cola and Terra ordered a diet cola, so Beast Boy crawled his way into the restaurant and made it so they both got beer! The two just got their drinks when Beast Boy snickered at his deed. J.T. just took a sip…
"Yuck! What the hell is this! I got a beer!" J.T. exclaimed.
"What's going on? I got a beer too," said Terra.
"Hey waiter, I want an explanation! Why'd we get alcohol? You want all three of us to go to jail?" J.T asked.
"I—I don't understand what you're talking about," the waiter stuttered.
"You gave both of us beers. You want us to go to jail for underage drinking? And for that matter, you want to go to jail for serving alcohol to underage people?" J.T. shouted.
"N—No, sir, I—I'm not even sure why you got beer in the first place," said the waiter.
"Somebody's probably playing a prank on us, J.T. What other explanation could there be?" said Terra.
"You're right," said J.T. Then he turned to the waiter. "Listen, pencil-neck. I want you to just get our drinks and get 'em right this time. No funny stuff. Any more of this and I'll snap you like a twig. Got me?"
"Yes sir," the waiter replied.
J.T. sat back down, obviously angry.
"What the hell was that all about? No restaurant service is this sloppy," said J.T.
"I'm still saying that somebody's playing a joke on us," said Terra. "Question is, who'd be dumb enough to play a prank on the Teen Titans?"
"Only person I can think that'd be dumb enough to do that is Beast Boy. But he's back at home. Man that stuff tasted nasty," said J.T.
Beast Boy snickered at his deeds. He saw the cook putting J.T. and Terra's pizza in the oven, so he figured he'd play another prank on them by putting everything else on their pizza. About ten minutes later, their pizza was out in front of them and J.T. was angrier than a swarm of hornets.
"What the hell is this! I ordered pepperoni and spinach, not mushrooms, anchovies and all this other shit," J.T. shouted.
"I—I don't understand! I saw them put in your pizza, and there was nothing other than what you ordered on it! This doesn't make sense," the waiter stuttered in fear.
"Come on, J.T., let's just go," said Terra.
"You're lucky I'm with my girlfriend, because otherwise I'd snap you like a twig," said J.T.
The two superhumans left, talking as they left.
"So where do you want to go next?" said J.T.
"How about the movies?" Terra asked.
"That's a good idea," said J.T.
Beast Boy turned into a swallow and flew over to the movie theater. About ten minutes later, J.T. and Terra arrived. Beast Boy hid in the shadows, waiting to overhear what J.T. and Terra were going to do.
"Two for 'Love and Honor', please," said J.T. to the ticketperson.
"Tch, that lousy piece of crap? Whatever. That'll be 13," the ticketperson replied.
"Hey, to each his own, smartass," said J.T.
J.T. slammed the money on the counter, swiped the tickets and escorted Terra inside. Beast Boy turned into a mouse and snuck inside. He creeped into the projection room and switched the movie J.T. and Terra wanted to see and switched it with a gay porn movie! J.T. and Terra walked into the theater, unaware of Beast Boy's prank.
"I read that this movie's what we both like. It's an action/kung-fu movie for me and a romance movie for you," said J.T.
"Don't tell me any more about the movie. I want to see it, not hear about it," said Terra.
"Whatever you say," said J.T.
The lights started to dim and Beast Boy chuckled at his deeds. The movie started and J.T. and Terra saw two men on the screen having sex!
"What the hell is this! What's going on?" J.T. shouted.
Everyone started complaining and leaving the theater, shouting to see the manager and demanding their money back, J.T. included.
"What was that all about?" Terra asked.
"I really have no idea, Terra. If this is someone's cruel, sick image of a joke, I'm not laughing," J.T. replied.
"Me neither. First the beer and pizza at the restaurant, now a gay porn at the movies! This is an outrage," Terra exclaimed.
"If I find out Beast Boy's connected to it, I'll cut his head off and mount it as a trophy," said J.T.
Beast Boy's heart stopped for a minute when he heard J.T's comment. He quickly shook it off, turned back into a mouse and hid in J.T.'s car.
"So where to next? The beach so we can be attacked by sand crabs?" Terra asked sarcastically.
"Ha ha, very droll. I was thinking we head up to the mountains," J.T. replied.
"If you're thinking what I think you are, forget it," said Terra.
"No, no, of course not. I was just thinking we go up, take down the t-tops and look at the moon," said J.T.
"Sounds romantic. Why not," said Terra.
J.T. started the vehicle and headed to the mountains. Beast Boy quickly thought up a plan on how to completely wreck the date. When J.T., Terra and their date-crasher got to the top of the hill, J.T. took off the t-top roof windows and put them in the trunk. Then he turned the radio on to an alternative-rock station and he and Terra just looked at the moon.
"Man, it's a nice night out tonight," said Terra.
"Sure is. You know what? I've been wondering, what if an atom is really an entire universe? And our universe is just an atom in some freakishly huge thing like some guy's toenail?" J.T. asked.
"You know, that's deep," said Terra.
Meanwhile, Beast Boy took out a microphone and short-range antennae and configured it to work on J.T.'s car radio.
"If this doesn't convince Terra to break up with J.T., nothing will," Beast Boy snickered.
Beast Boy turned on the microphone, held his nose to disguise his voice and began to speak to J.T. and Terra.
"Attention all listeners, a killer mountain lion has escaped from the zoo and has been reportedly sighted in the woods in the mountains. All people in the mountains are advised, no, required to evacuate the mountains immediately! I repeat, a mountain lion has been sighted in the mountains," said Beast Boy.
"Uh, J.T., you don't think…?" said Terra nervously.
"No, I don't do that any more," said J.T. in a joking tone.
"Be serious. Maybe we should get out of here," said Terra.
"Good idea," said J.T.
Beast Boy turned into a mountain lion and let out a ferocious roar!
"Uh, J.T., what was that?" Terra asked.
"I don't want to know," J.T. replied.
Beast Boy the mountain lion jumped out of the bushes, scaring the bejeezus out of J.T. and Terra! J.T. shifted into reverse, drove backwards about ten feet, turned around and started dashing for the road!
"I think I wet myself," Terra shouted over the roar of the engine.
"We're not out of the woods yet! Buckle up Terra," J.T. exclaimed.
Beast Boy chased J.T.'s car down the mountain. J.T. drove like a NASCAR driver at Daytona down the mountain, maintaining an average speed of 65 miles per hour. Just as they were almost off the mountain, J.T. took a quick look out the rear-view mirror.
"I think we lost it," said J.T.
"J.T., look out!" Terra shouted.
It was too late! J.T. slammed head-on into a tree, sent the car flying and landed upside-down! J.T. and Terra were somehow alive.
"J.T., are you okay?" Terra asked.
"Yeah, I think so. What about you?" J.T. asked back.
"Uh-huh. Let's get out of here," said Terra.
J.T. and Terra unbuckled their seatbelts, crawled out of the car and flew home. Beast Boy, pleased at his deeds, turned into an eagle and flew home too. Beast Boy landed on the roof and walked into the tower, acting as if nothing had happened. About five minutes later, J.T. and Terra, their clothes filthy from their escape from J.T.'s car, walked into the room.
"Hey guys. Rough night?" Beast Boy asked casually.
"Shut up, Beast Boy," J.T. snarled.
"What? It's not like you got attacked by a mountain lion," said Beast Boy.
Just then, a cord hit in Terra's mind.
"It was you! You were that mountain lion," said Terra.
"What? I, uh, I have no idea what you're talking about," Beast Boy stuttered.
"You were behind the beer and pizza at the restaurant and the porno at the movie theater, too, weren't you?" Terra asked angrily.
"NO! I mean, uh, what're you talking about?" Beast Boy stuttered nervously.
"BEAST BOY!" J.T. shouted. J.T.'s voice was loud enough to wake not only half the city, but most of the dead!
J.T. grabbed Beast Boy by the throat and started to choke him! Terra started to stomp at Beast Boy's stomach simultaneously. Just then, Starfire, Raven, Robin and Cyborg walked in to see J.T. and Terra's act of brutality!
"What's going on?" Robin shouted.
"Oh, uh, hey Robbo. Nothing, we're just talking," said J.T.
"You are talking to Beast Boy by grabbing him by his windpipe and choking him?" Starfire asked.
"Beast Boy turned into a mountain lion, chased us, forced J.T. to flip his car and we're just 'discussing' how he's going to make it up to us," said Terra.
"And the nice clothes?" Cyborg asked.
"We were working a lead in the high-class sector of town," said J.T.
"Well let go of Beast Boy and go to bed," said Raven. "It's after midnight."
J.T. dropped Beast Boy on his neck and he and Terra headed in the direction of their rooms. Along the way, J.T. and Terra started talking.
"Well, this night was a bust," said J.T.
"Yeah, but as far as busts go, that was kinda fun," said Terra.
"What're you talking about? Beast Boy gave us beers, screwed with our pizza, switched our movie with a porno movie and wrecked my car by chasing us down a mountain," said J.T.
"Yeah, but just being with you was really fun," said Terra.
"When you put it that way, this date wasn't half-bad after all," said J.T.
"So, how about a shower, we get dressed and head to bed?" Terra asked.
"Sure. We gonna shower together or separate?" J.T. asked back.
"Together. It's really late," Terra replied.
"Heh heh, all right," J.T. chuckled.
J.T. and Terra headed to the showers.
-Elsewhere-
Unbeknownst to the Titans, Slade was awake and running on all cylinders. He was chiseling out an insignia on the floor of the cave he had emerged from.
"Master, all is proceeding as planned," said Slade to nobody.
"Good. Then tomorrow night, the end shall begin," a voice boomed.
