Chapter Nine
Let the Healing Begin
Woody knew if he pushed too fast, too soon – like he did with the ring – it would blow up in his face again. So anything big was out…anything major to get her attention and show her how much he cared was not going to work. He wasn't sure how to even begin the conversation…and then was genuinely surprised when it happened all on its own.
They had taken a walk at lunch, during the work week – through the park. It was somewhat solitary and secluded at this time of day. They had just started out on the foot path when Jordan spoke first. "I've been meaning to tell you, thanks."
"For what?" he countered, not following her thoughts.
"For being there for me when Dad passed away. I would have gone completely crazy without you."
Woody chuckled. "You've nearly went crazy in the past with me there," he replied, remembering everything they had been through together.
Jordan had chuckled along with him. "Yeah…I guess we just took for granted that we would always be there for each other…you and me…and then…then suddenly we weren't." He could hear the fall in her voice at the last words.
The ring. There it was again. He nodded. "And then the ring….got in the way."
They walked along in silence for a minute, each lost in their own thoughts. "It wasn't the ring, Woody," she finally said, quietly. "It was what the ring could mean….it just intensified your doubts and my fears. That's what got in the way."
"So how are you now?"
She stopped and bent over to tie her shoelace. "From what? Dad's death or the ring?"
"Both." He had to know.
"I'll never get over Daddy's death. He'll always be a part of me and I will always miss him. But I know that I have to move beyond that and live my life. As far as we are concerned…" her voice trailed off as her cell phone rang. Woody's rang right behind hers. They both knew what that meant. A homicide.
It was three days before they got to finish the conversation.
It was there he found her, three days later, in her office, propped up against the desk, rubbing her temples. She was suffering from another headache… "Hey.." he said, pausing at the door of her office. "Have you taken anything for that?"
"No… I need a refill on my meds and the doctor won't call it back in until I go back for a check up…which I don't have time to do…because I'm too busy…" Her eyes closed as she massaged her temples.
Gently pulling her hands down, he replaced her fingers with his own…rubbing soothing circles on her aching head. Almost against her will she began to feel herself relax and the pain begin to ease. "Better?" he asked when he noticed her shoulders sag.
"Yeah…much…"she opened her eyes to find him much closer than she thought he would be…his lips just a breath from hers. "Has….has…anyone ever told you you're good with your hands?" she asked, with a smirk…trying to defuse the sexual tension that she could feel rising in the room.
"Not lately….and come to think of it….you never have," he rejoined, still keeping his lips close to hers. He could feel the tension rise again…and he stepped away. He wasn't pushing too hard too fast this time.
She blinked. She didn't expect that. She expected he would kiss her. As a matter of fact, she was kind of looking forward to it. "And whose fault is that?" she asked turning from him to pick up some reports on the side of her desk.
"It wasn't for lack of trying on my part." He crossed his arms and stared her down…cocking an eyebrow to ease the tension and show her he was teasing.
She nodded. She was the reason. She knew it. "Sorry," she said. "I know…I didn't…"
"It's okay, Jordan," he interrupted with a soft voice. "That was a long time ago. This is now." He moved closer to her. "Why…do you want me to kiss you?"
She turned quickly then and once again found him closer than she anticipated. He reached out and tilted her head up so she was looking him in the eyes…and she found herself trapped in his blue gaze. "Do you?' he quietly repeated. "Tell me…tell me the truth."
Jordan felt her heart begin to pound. "What if I do?" she asked. The words were hard to get out…her lips were finding it hard to cooperate with her brain.
"Then…I'd do this…" He gently covered her lips with his…kissing her slowly…waiting until she opened her mouth for him to explore it. Which he did…thoroughly, but in no particular hurry…waiting to hear her breathing increase and feel her response.
When he did, he gradually broke the kiss, but pulled her close and kept her there for a long moment. Finally, in a gruffer voice than he expected, he asked. "How's your headache?"
"Headache?"
"Yeah…you said your head was hurting."
"It's not anymore…" she was still trying to get her breathing back to normal. "Woody?"
"What, Jordan?"
"Do it again."
She had asked…so he'd comply. He chuckled as his lips found hers again.
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Healing doesn't happen in a day…nor in a week…nor in a month…and sometimes not even a year. And some things never heal.
The scar on Jordan's heart that she suffered from her father's death would always be there…it would never really heal. Like she said, she would learn to live with it, but she would never really get over it. That was to be expected.
It took a few more starts and stops for their hearts to recover from the damage they had inflicted on each other. Woody took it one day at a time and tried not to push her.
And gradually the relationship went forward. Slowly…one step at a time…until one evening, when she was at his apartment, she told him she didn't want to go home that night. She wanted to stay.
He felt like all the fireworks that Boston heralded on the Fourth of July went off in his chest. "Would you hold me?" she had asked….and he complied.
He had held her all night.
And when the morning sun found its way through the bedroom windows of his apartment, she was still there wrapped in his arms…gazing up in his eyes as he loved her one more time.
Everything wasn't healed yet…but they had come a long way.
