Borders
Summary: Jack Meadows goes on a fact finding mission with surprising results.
Warnings: Spolier for none UK viewers. Complete bias towards Mickey and Jack, the only characters in it.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters portrayed here.
Note: Big thank you to NorthernStar for betaing this for me. And thank you for whoever decided to bring Mickey back again.
"Nothing hurts you like the pain of someone so close to you,
I feel so broke inside but I'll devote my life to loving you."
-'Stop That Crying' by Spiritualized
Jack Meadows looked across the narrow road to the house he intended to visit.
The house looked small as they all did along here, row after row of identical houses, only differing with personal touches, different coloured doors and a small window box as no garden was substantial for anything more.
The house he was interested in was one of the plainer ones, nothing much to look at- blue door with paint that had chipped and faded over time.
There was nothing special about the inside of this house either. It's contents perfectly reflected in the outward appearance. Some prided themselves in the way their house represented them to others, but not this occupant.
Not Mickey Webb.
It wasn't that he didn't care what people thought of him, although that was the least of his worries, but to him a house was merely somewhere to keep his belongings. It was bricks and mortar and that was all.
You were lucky to have one, in his opinion; luckier still if it didn't spring a leak in the middle of winter.
Jack wondered how he and Mickey had managed to have such an in depth discussion about houses. He couldn't remember when they had spoken about it, but he remembered the content of the discussion with clarity.
There was a reason he was here though, not just to look at the outside structure of the building.
He left his car and made his way across the road, which was quiet, although it seemed to be permanently full with parked cars. Jack wondered how it could be so busy when people should be at work by now. It certainly wasn't as though workers could park here as there were no shops close enough.
This wasn't one of the most expensive neighbourhoods, not known for being troublesome but it wasn't where you'd expect to be living if you could afford not to work.
He was delaying thinking about what was ahead.
He hadn't called to check if this was all right, so he'd just show up unannounced, hope that Mickey would still want to see him.
There was a deep feeling in Jack that they had reached a point of no return in their relationship. They'd been through tougher times before but there were circumstances then, emotions on both sides that had pushed them further apart when if they'd been rational, they would have realised they were acting like fools. But they'd sorted themselves out, although he'd always hated himself for what it took to get them there.
He couldn't delay it any longer, needed to get in done now.
He knocked at the door, waiting for the answer. When after a few minutes one didn't come, Jack knocked again, louder than before. Being a little heavy handed, the first was in itself, rather loud. A nagging doubt made him wonder if the knock had been heard and ignored by the occupant. He knew Mickey was in; his car parked outside was all he needed to prove that.
He tried to glance in through the small window, but the glass distorted the images within. He saw nothing moving nor did he see anything resembling human form.
Sighing, the feelings from earlier resurfacing, he gently elbowed the door in frustration.
He was surprised when it sprung open.
He carefully opened the door fully and checked to see if the door had been broken into. It looked fine, but the lock on it appeared to be very temperamental. He heard the sound of a radio coming out from upstairs.
He stepped inside and closed the door behind him, doing his level best to make sure it was more secure this time.
"Mickey." He said as he made his way towards the front room.
Finding it empty which he had anticipated, he headed upstairs.
At the top of the stairs he heard the music loudly coming from a room at the back of the house. He made his way towards it, hearing Mickey gently singing along to the music being played. He stood at the door way and almost knocked on the door before he noticed the sheets covering the room and the paint covered man with his back to him. He couldn't tell if the door had been painted or not, but he knew better than to try it out.
"Mickey." He called, loud enough to be heard over the noise from the radio.
Mickey turned round, a look of surprise on his face which was quickly replaced by a warm smile. "Bloody 'ell, Jack, you scared the shit outta me." Mickey said, turning the sound down low on the radio so they could speak at a more natural level and getting more white paint over the already covered radio.
"Sorry. I knocked but you didn't hear me. You need to get that lock sorted out." Jack said.
"I know. So what you doin' 'ere?" Mickey asked.
"I just wanted to see if you were doing alright." Jack knew the last few days had to have been hard on Mickey, but he was glad to see he was doing something to keep his mind occupied. He wasn't sure how Mickey would take the concern, he had trouble understanding him. He seemed to have changed a lot recently.
Mickey looked at the paint brush in his hand, avoiding looking at Jack for a few seconds. Then, looking at the man standing in the doorway he spoke. "Wanna cuppa?"
"I won't stay if you're busy." Jack said, not wanting to distract him from what he was doing. Mickey wasn't rude enough to chuck him out but Jack wouldn't stay if he wasn't welcome.
"Wouldn't 'ave offered if I was too busy. Could do with a break anyway." Mickey placed the paintbrush on top of the step ladders that stood in the corner. "Go down and stick the kettle on, will ya, I need to wash up first." Mickey said, holding up his paint covered hands.
Jack nodded in Mickey's direction and turned around to face the stairs he'd just come up.
The kettle was almost boiled by the time Mickey came down and Jack had located the cups and had them ready. Mickey had changed into a pair of paint free jeans and a t-shirt. Jack noticed a few flicks of paint still on Mickey's face and arms, but his hands had lost nearly all traces of the white paint.
"D'ya want tea or coffee?" Mickey asked.
"Tea thanks." Jack said.
Mickey went to get cups out and noticed the two already out. "Cheers." he said, absently as he pulled out some teabags and dropped one in each cup. He moved over to the fridge and pulled out a carton of milk. "You can go sit down if you like." Mickey said, aware that Jack was watching him make the beverages.
Jack made his way into the front room, still not able to be as comfortable as he would like. Mickey seemed a little more chatty than when they'd last spoke, to be fair he had just found out his fiancee had been misleading a double murder case but there still seemed to be something of a barrier between them.
After all they'd been through, Jack had to do something to make things right between them again.
Mickey came in and placed the two cups down on the coffee table by the sofa where Jack sat. Mickey always favoured the armchair and sprawled himself across it in a way Jack was all too familiar with, although when Mickey had been to Jack's house he always sat properly, the way you always do when you're a guest at another's house.
"Thanks." Jack said with regards to the drink before him. "So, how have you been?" He asked. He'd been a little worried about Mickey. He knew he didn't do well without work and after Liz's involvement in the case with McGowan, Mickey's DCI had suggested that he have some time off to sort himself out. He'd lost a lot that night.
"A little bored." Mickey answered.
"I guessed that's why you started decorating." Jack said. Mickey looked at Jack, glanced away.
There was something there, something he wanted to say, he could tell by the look in his eyes, but it remained unsaid. Jack decided that now was the time to go through things with Mickey and set things straight between them.
"Look, I wanted to apologise about what happened at the church, when I came to find you." Jack started. He hated to apologise, he'd always been pretty bad at them, but as hard as this was, he was determined to make this one of the better ones.
Mickey for his part decided to hear what Jack had to say, not interrupting which helped. "I couldn't just let you go without questioning you. Phil would have thought that our friendship had got in the way if I hadn't asked those questions."
"Yeah, I know." Mickey said.
"I hated the thought of it, but from our point of view, you were looking like the only candidate." Jack continued.
"Yeah." He said again.
"Strange thing is, when I found you at McGowan's pub, I knew it couldn't be you because of the way you were, how you reacted. But, I couldn't let it go. Or you."
Mickey smiled a little. "I'd 'ave probably been the same. Don't think I'm gonna be welcomed back into CID anytime soon, though."
"Well, as long as I'm the DCI you'll be welcome anywhere in Sun Hill." Jack said. There was a silence again between them. "I was worried about you, you know?"
"Eh?"
"The other night at Barton Street. You just walked away. That's not like you."
"'Ad a lot on me mind."
"I know. Talking usually helps." Jack hoped that Mickey would confide in him, he usually came to Jack with his problems. He used to.
"We did talk." Mickey said. He seemed a little defensive and Jack was confused by his behaviour.
"Well, it didn't feel like the end of the conversation to me. Felt a little unresolved."
"There was nothing I could resolve right then. Not talking to you, anyway." Mickey explained.
Jack felt a slight sting at the words directed at him. "You spoke to Liz?"
"After the interview." Mickey said. Jack already knew this; he'd been interviewing her when she'd asked to see him.
"Did it help?" Jack pressed.
"You saw me after, didn't ya?" Mickey replied.
Jack could remember Mickey throwing the rings into the river, throwing a way his future. "No, that was it. I didn't wanna talk to her about what we could still have. Don't get me wrong, I loved her and all, but I can't just wait around. Plus, you know, she lied. Right to me."
"What did she have to say to that?" Jack asked, feeling they were getting somewhere.
"Didn't say that much. Cried a lot. What was I supposed to do?"
"It was the right thing." Jack reassured him. There was something else. Mickey didn't seem any more at ease having confided in Jack.
Mickey stood up and walked over to a tall unit and pulled a paper bag from it. He opened it up and pulled some paper out. Moving back towards where Jack sat he handed one to the man and dropped the rest on the table.
Jack looked at the envelope in his hand, a little confused at first, but it dawned on him just then.
These were the wedding invitations.
He opened it carefully.
Read the location, the time, the date. The names.
"You were sending these out a little late, weren't you?" Jack asked.
"It was a little rushed." Mickey said.
Jack nodded. "She rushed it to help cover up for her dealings with McGowan."
Jack looked at Mickey.
That wasn't it, he could tell by the look on his friends face.
"Liz is pregnant." Mickey said.
The look on Jack's face said is all and Mickey probably hadn't looked much different when Liz had told him. After all, they had taken precautions.
Jack let out a sigh. "Bloody hell."
Mickey found a smile on his face. He'd used similar terminology.
He sat heavily in the chair again.
"How's all this gonna work out, with her being in prison and all?" Jack asked. Although her case hadn't been completed it was still where Liz would undoubtedly end up.
"Well, after she's 'ad the baby and done all the... first bit, she's gonna hand it over. We both agreed that she can't keep it inside. After that... who knows." Mickey said.
Jack was quiet for a while. "How'd you feel about all this?" he eventually asked.
"Not sure yet. I mean, I knew for a couple of weeks she was pregnant, still just gettin' me head round that. Doin' it on your own's a different thing, ain't it." Mickey reached across for the cup he'd placed on the table earlier, took a sip. "It's just... it's not how I'd 'ave pictured it. You know, 'avin' a kid and 'avin' to do it solo."
"It's surprising how much of it you pick up along the way. A lot's just instinct." Jack said, hoping to set Mickey's mind at ease a little.
"Yeah." Mickey said.
There was silence for a long time, neither man saying anything. When Jack could stand it no more, he asked maybe the most obvious question at that point. "What are you thinking?"
Mickey looked at Jack. He knew he could confide in him. He always had. "Guess I'm thinking about the future. After Liz gets out. What 'appens then."
"With you two?" Jack asked, certain that Mickey had dismissed any reconciliation with Liz.
"With the baby. What if she wants it back?"
Jack saw the trace of fear in Mickey as he spoke these words, as he spoke of his worry. "Sort it out now with her. Arrange it so that it's all legal that you get a certain amount of access before she gets out."
"Share the baby." Mickey said, repeating what Jack had said in his own words.
"Yeah. Let her know that you want the right to see this kid after she gets out. If you can do it all now you'll both be better off, and so will the kid."
"Yeah but..." Mickey hesitated.
"Go on." Jack encouraged.
"Well, what if after growing up with me when mum arrives on the scene it's a lot better." Mickey knew he'd much rather grown up with just his mum.
What if he turned out to be a father like his own?
Maybe his dad's breaking point was having to cope with a child.
It could be his too.
Jack read between the lines. He knew what Mickey was saying. He just wasn't sure how to reassure him.
He let out a long breath.
"You know, a lot of people couldn't have coped with what you've been through. Sometimes it seemed as though you went from one bad thing to another. A lot of people would have just given up. After the fire. After Chandler, I mean the super wanting rid of you isn't an easy thing to sit through. Your mum, Delaney. You didn't ever give up, you moved on. Even after you left Sun Hill you never let it over take you. You got your promotion, went to NCS. You did all that because you knew you could do it. Compared with all you've over come, raising a kid will be a walk in the park."
Mickey was a little surprised by the words that he heard coming from Jack's mouth. He really had huge amounts of confidence in him, something that Mickey had doubted after the last case they worked on together.
The fear that had hold of him released its grip a little. Maybe things could work out all right, but with the way his life usually worked out, he didn't like to get his hopes up.
"You'll be fine with a baby. It's when they get to be teenagers, that's when your problems start." Jack said, noticing the tension easing in Mickey a little.
"If it's anything like me." Mickey thought back to the things he did as a teenager.
"Well, you'll probably have your work cut out for you then."
"Yeah, like you were any better."
Jack smiled. Reaching for his own cup he drank a couple of mouthfuls, the liquid now at the perfect temperature for him. After placing the cup back down, he turned back to Mickey. "So, are you decorating the baby's room?"
"Yeah. Didn't 'ave nothin' in there anyway."
"Whites a bit plain isn't it?" Jack asked, wondering what had happened to blue for a boy and pink for a girl.
"Well, we don't know what it'll be yet. I was thinking I'd get a border to go round, something that boys and girls like, you know, fish or somethink like that. Not sure, I'll 'ave to look down Homebase or B&Q."
"I can always come with you, if you'd like." Jack offered. "I take it you haven't got anything for the baby's room yet?"
"Nah, not yet." Mickey said.
"Well a trip to Mothercare wouldn't go amiss. Give yourself a clue to what you're gonna need and prices. You'll be surprised." Jack warned.
"If it's gonna be expensive I'm not gonna be surprised." Mickey said. Frowning a little, he continued. "There's that much?"
"Look, leave the painting for now. I'll take you down and show you what you'll need. You might even wanna buy your first bit of parenting kit." Jack said, humour in his voice.
"I'm glad you find this funny now, wait until it's 'ere and I'm calling you at three in the morning coz I can't stop it from crying." Mickey retaliated.
"No, you'll be too knackered to remember the number by then." Jack replied. He stood up and finished off his tea in one long gulp. "So you fancy it?" Jack asked.
"Shopping?" Mickey asked
"Yeah. Don't make the mistake of thinking you've got months before the baby gets here because it'll be here before you know it."
"Alright, but I ain't buying anything yet." Mickey stated.
Jack made his way to the door as Mickey swallowed the last of his tea before placing the cup down on the table.
His eye caught the pictures that lined his fireplace.
One had a picture of his mum in it and the other Liz.
Two of the most important people in his life. He knew he couldn't ever forgive Liz wholly for what she'd done, but she was the mother of his child and he wanted this kid to always be able to see her picture.
"You ready?" Jack called.
"Yeah. I am." Mickey said.
The End.
