A/N: I know, I know. Another song fic. But I can't help it. I'm totally stuck. I know what I want to do, just not how to do it. I'm kind of in a sticky spot with a story. So humor me, k?

Anyway, this chapter is a little weird. It's set three years ago, when she was living with Jesse, and then in the end switches to the present time. So just roll with it please. It'll make sense, sort of.

But at least I'm updating. So there.

silence

Right.

Well, I know this song is a little weird, but I thought it (almost) fit what I wanted to do, so it's what I used. Please deal. I'm sorry if a lot of people don't like Christina Agulaira, but I like some of her songs. This happens to be one of them. The back ground music is awesome.

I'll shut up now and let you people read. If you even are still reading it. Whatever.

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Meg owns all. But the song is owned by the person that sung it and her 'people'. Please don't sue, as I am currently broke from being a shopaholic.

Chapter 5

Suze's POV, three years ago

I twirled around the kitchen as I started to (attempt) to prepare cookies. I was listening to sly 96, and an old Christina Agularia song came on.

He comes from a foreign place
An island far away
Intrigues me with every move
Till' I'm breathless, I'm helpless
Can't keep my cool

How so totally like Jesse and I was that? I mean seriously. The guy came from (sort of) out of no where, and swept me off my feet. So to speak. I mean, he didn't come from an Island or anything. But he did come from 1850.

Steals my heart when he takes my hand
And we dance, to the rhythm of the band
I feel his finger tips, grip my hips
And I slip as we dip into a rare bliss

Jesse and I did try dancing one time. Turns out he knows how to salsa. I can't. And it's a lost cause.

I marched over and began to mix up the batch of cookie mix. It's premade, how hard can this be?

Mama used to warn me
To beware of those Latin lovers
She said I gave my heart too soon
And that's how I became your mother
I said ay mama, you seem to forget
I'm not in love yet
Sweet talk don't win me over
But I realized
Big brown eyes can hypnotize

My mom didn't exactly warn me about Jesse, but she did give me 'the talk'. Or her idea of it, anyway. Maybe it was the chocolate body wash she found that I bought.

Did she think it was supposed to be kinky? God I hope not.

Don't ask about the body wash, by the way.

I mean, it's Jesse. Like he'd ever do anything to 'take advantage' of me.

When he says

I am full blood boricua
Reads the tattoo on his arm
He tells me, mami I need ya
And my heartbeat pumps so strong
Getting lost in el ritmo
He whispers te quiero, te quiero
I begin to give in with no hesitation
Can't help my infatuation

I wonder if I am infatuated with him. Probably. He does whisper stuff in Spanish a lot. I wonder what it means…he refuses to tell me. It's too bad that when I do give in (quite often) he doesn't.

Oh, crap. What am I supposed to add to this cookie batch? How much salt? A table spoon? A tea spoon? Didn't they say something about salt helping the cookies rise in home ec.? Hmm…maybe I'll add a little extra….

Skin the color of cinnamon
His eyes light up and I melt within
Feels so good it must be a sin
I can't stop what I started
I'm giving in
He brings life to my fantasies
Sparks a passion inside of me
Finds the words when I can not speak
In the silence, his heartbeat is music to me

I wouldn't go so far as to call his heartbeat music, but whatever. And his eyes are almost completely unreadable all the time. But a lot of the time he just looks confused. Like with the whole microwave thing. That was so funny…poor Jesse. But he learned. Eventually.

Mama used to warn me
Not to rush love with another
She said I'm not trying to lecture
I just care about my daughter
Ay mama, you seem to forget
I never will let
A man control my emotions

And I didn't let him control me. Not that he tried. But that has to count for something…right? Hmm…maybe I'll add a few more chocolate chips than this calls for. I think it could use some more. I mean two cups of chocolate chips for two dozen cookies sounds about right. How much of a cup is that per cookie? I dunno. I don't want to do the math. But it feels right…this cooking thing isn't so bad!

But when he smiles (when he smiles)
I feel like a little child
When he says
I am full blood boricua
Reads the tattoo on his arm (whoa, whoa)
He tells me, mami I need ya

He hasn't ever told me that he needs me. Jesse, I mean. Except when he needed me to help him change the light bulb in the lamp and he wanted me to hold the latter.

Is there something wrong with our relationship?

Plus, he totally doesn't have a tattoo. That I know of, anyway. I mean…he tends to walk around shirtless a lot (which makes me a very happy person) and where else would he put it? Hmm…

BAD SUZE.

Okay, let these cook for twenty minutes and they'll be done. And I'll have baked cookies. Sweet. Literally.

And my heartbeat pumps so strong (so strong)
Getting lost in el ritmo
He whispers te quiero, te quiero
I begin to give in with no hesitation
Can't help my infatuation

I really can't help being infatuated with Jesse. It's impossible. And I really will have to figure out what te quiero means one of these days. Maybe it means I love you. Or something. I really don't know. But I want too.

Ten minutes on the cookies.

Caught between my mama's words
And what I feel inside
I'm wanting to explore his world
But a part of me wants to hide
Should I risk it, can't resist it

I still remember the look on my mom's face when I told her Jesse and I was moving in together. It was one of shock. But the good kind, I think.

Okay, the cookies are done. Hmm…they look a little…squishy. Maybe I put too many chocolate chips in them. Oh, no. It's okay. It's burnt squishy, so they're not soggy.

This has caught me by surprise
Should I, let him take me to Puerto Rico
I can't hold back no more
Let's go tonight...
Ooh, hey

Oh, crap. Yah, I shouldn't have added so much salt. And Jesse's home, so I can't hide them, here he comes…

Jesse walked around the corner into our little kitchen and smiled at me. I felt my legs go all jellyish and I smiled back. He grabbed a cookie and popped it into his mouth.

Maybe he won't notice how salty they are. I mean, the fact that there's so much burnt chocolate almost hides some of it…

You adore me, never be lonely, ohh
I am full blood boricua (boricua)
Reads the tattoo on his arm (on his arm)
He tells me, mami I need ya

And my heartbeat pumps so strong (so strong)

He noticed how much salt there was in the cookie. He spit it out into the toilet. Hey, they weren't that bad. I mean, he could have tried to pretend to like it. Or used the trash can.

I did. And it's closer than the toilet.

Now he's laughing at me. Great. But now he's kissing me, and life is good again.

But he tastes like salt.

Getting lost in el ritmo
He whispers te quiero, te quiero (oh, quiero)
I begin to give in with no hesitation
Can't help my infatuation

The Present

I can't help my infatuation with Jesse. It's going to be there forever. I think. And now I have to face him again. But Paul will be here tomorrow and it'll be okay…I think. Until then I just have to stay away from him.

Far, far away.

I can't help, what I'm feeling
Infatuated
Oh ooh, ohh...
Infatuation
Hey

Because it's three years later. And I'm still infatuated.

A/N: Review.