A/N: nothin' much to say here. No one really seems to be into my gundam fic..so basically I'm writing for myself now and for the few reviewers (the one reviewer) I have. Well..I'll be on my deoressed little way... tears
Acceptance
Leer somehow found her way to the briefing room in her melancholy state. She stood before the door. She had a depressing feeling inside that she was no longer the 'innocent civilian' anymore. She was no longer considered 'harmless' or neutral. She had taken a side. Her father had always said to never take sides or support a specific organization because that's how wars started... that the other countries would feel threatened or disagree with a choice. Then you find yourself caught between two or more forces that threatened to pull you under. Then again, this had been said several years ago by a man who had died.. because he hadn't taken a side.
'You never know what the 'right' choice is until you make one.' her mother had said. Leer had made a choice. To stand with fellow Coordinators, for the time being at least. She shook the phantoms of her parents from her mind. Their words had helped her throughout the years, the ones she could remember, but now she was on her own. Her parent's ideals didn't apply to this new age. Or did they? She would find out soon enough.
She stood up straighter and pushed the button. The door before her hissed open and she stepped inside. The briefing room was rectangular in shape and had one long row of chairs that sat before a large table. The only light came from the lamp hanging above the table so she had to squint a little until her sight adjusted. She looked to Creuset apologetically for being late. He nodded and gestured for her to enter. She walked in, the door hissing closed behind her, and she saw that each seat was filled.
She spotted Nicol two seats down the line of chairs. His arms were bandaged lightly and he wore a loose shirt, probably meaning that his chest was bandaged as well. He smiled and waved at her. He seemed fine. To his left was Athrun who nodded a greeting. The two seats to Athrun's left had people she had only seen once or twice but hadn't caught their names. The blond sat quietly looking at her through his long bangs and the red head waved smiling. She nodded and began to walk down the row of about ten chairs. She realized quickly that here were only enough seats for the original piolets. She came to the end of the row and frowned. She'd have to stand. She turned to face the table and put her hands behind her back standing as she thought a soldier would.
Creuset began once all was quiet again. "Now that the repairs to the Vesalius are complete and our new piolet ready, it is time to finally take down the Legged ship!" There were several voiced agreements but the red head raised his voice over them all.
"Who's the new piolet?"
The blond elbowed his companion and nodded to Leer.
"Correct Miguel, Miss Lahara is our new piolet." Rau confirmed.
"A girl?" the red head wrinkled his nose at first.
"She's a decent fighter Rusty." Athrun offered in her defense, "I've seen her hold her own against EA forces."
Leer just glanced at him out of the corner of her eyes, slightly tilting her head toward him at a downward angle. Her hair fell over her eyes cancelling a glare. She could care less about what everyone thought, but did they have to keep riding on the fact that she was a woman?
Rusty thought for a moment, staring at her and said with a shrug, "Cool, I always said there needed to be more women in the military."
Leer smiled wryly, staring at the floor now. 'But of course,' she thought, 'you only want women here to fight, not for...other...reasons.' She watched Miguel nod agreeing with his friend.
Rau cleared his throat, "Now, to avoid wasting time on introductions the new piolet in Miss Leer Lahara. She will be piloting the..." he tried to remember the name, something that had to do with waether..
"The Elemental." Leer filled in quietly.
"Ah yes, the Elemental. The new mobile suit will be fighting with us now so we will make the needed changes in strategy today. The Legged ship will be seeking refuge in Panama. Calculating how fast the ship had been so far we estimate the ship will be there by morning tomorrow. According to..."
Leer stopped paying attention as a holographic map rose up from the table. She knew nothing about this 'Legged ship'. She assumed it was some EA vessel that they were chasing. She didn't really care. Anything that could be shot could be taken down and destroyed. She was quite confident that they'd get it. She was more interested in the conversation next to her that was about..well..her.
"So, she..saved..you?" Yzak whispered to Nicol.
"If not for her I wouldn't be here." Nicol blushed, embarrassed at having to be rescued.
Yzak snorted, "I'll believe it when I see it!" Yzak turned his gaze to her. He seemed to be sizing her up, weighting her worth.
She thinned her eyes, 'Bastard.' she thought sourly.
"I don't think there are any women in the Mobile Suit Forces (MSF) yet. We're the first to accept one. The PLANTs Supreme Council might be up in arms about it.." Dearka muttered, eyes on the hologafic map, paying half attention to both conversations.
"If they find out.." Yzak mused.
"I think Creuset will keep it under low profile for a little while, you know, for her to prove her abilities. I mean, if she dies then Creuset can say there was never a girl on the sip to begin with. There would be no problem." Dearka added thoughtfully.
"May be.." Yzak muttered unconvinced as they were forced to end the conversation for now as Rau's lecture turned to a new strategy that would be using the new piolet.
The briefing didn't turn out to be so 'brief'. Leer found herself shifting from foot to foot for nearly two hours now. People kept bringing up new topics or flaws in a plan. To her is was simple, as simple as he tired mind wished to make it, and that was to just win! Do whatever it takes, just come out on top. They were making this sound like an impossible mission.
Several more moments ticked by, Rau was rambling about some other unorthodox maneuvers, when she voiced her annoyance. She shifted, letting out a huge sigh without thinking.
Everyone turned to her.
She was staring at the floor, rubbing the ball of her shoe on the floor when she noticed that the room had fallen silent. She looked up to find that all eyes in the room on her. She fidgeted. She went red, embarrassed and confused.
Then she remembered her rudeness, "Oh..I..uh...sorry.." she finished in a tiny voice. She bowed her head in shame for the lack of self control and containment.
Yzak, making a show of it, let out his own deep annoyed sigh and stood. He stepped away fron his seat and with a wave offered it to her. She stared at him, suspicious. He raised an eyebrow in a friendsly manner. She couldn't tell if it was mocked kindness or not. She sighed inwardly, 'A little rat one minute and a gentleman the next, I'll have to keep an eye on him.' she thought, thinking of the tricks 'his kind' would pull.
She smiled mirroring his kindness, "Thank you." she gratefully took the seat, resisting the urge to stretch and yawn. She rubbed her aching thighs, though her calves felt worse. She would be even sorer ib the morning she realized, sadly.
Yzak bowed, somewhat, and took Leers place standing to the right of Dearka. She looked at him out of the corner of her eyes again. He stood tall and proud, chin up and eyes commanding as if he was the commander himself. He obviously had the bloated ego and the air of self-righteousness for the job.
She then glanced at his comrades. They seemed to be admiring Yzak's 'generosity' to the 'lady'. She smiled ruefully, she didn't consider herself a lady, more like a ruffian or a tomboy.
Rau nodded his approval and continued.
The meeting didn't last much longer. After ten more minutes they were dismissed. Leer, as usual, left by herself. She didn't even notice running footsteps coming towards her or people calling her name. She finally stopped and glanced over her shoulder.
Athrun, Nicol, Rusty and Miguel ran up to her. Athrun and Nicol on her right and Rusty and Miguel on the left. She looked at all of them, curious.
"So you were the piolet of that 'Little Wing'!"
Leer was a little taken aback but nodded, "Yeah. Uh..Little Wing?"
"Oh, that's what we called it because we didn't know it's real name." Miguel explained. His voice was much lighter then she had expected compared to her thought of deep and mysterious.
"Great! As I said we need more women in the army." he said enthusiastically.
Athrun coughed rather loudly.
"What?" Rusty asked defensively.
Athrun sighed, humor tinging his voice, "Only you would say something like that Rusty."
"What's that supposed to mean!" he yelled turning red.
"Oh, nothing." he replied innocently.
Leer smiled putting her hands in her jacket's pockets. She was wearing the same clothes that she had worn when she had first arrived. She was beginning to wonder what she was going to wear for the next few days. Rau had offered her a mans uniform, but she had said 'no'. Not only would the blood red color clash terribly with her deep purple-indigo hair (she wasn't really worried about fashion but the uniform was enough to turn her stomach), but it wouldn't fit her properly. She kept it to herself that, even if Rau came up with a woman's uniform, that she wouldn't wear it. When she and Rau had talked about this in private she had said, "Who wears a skirt in the military? Are they insane! I'm not wearing one!". He had said, "Tough. You'll be excused as a civilian. You have to." He had refused to discuss the matter any further. She had been furious at the time, but now she stopped caring. She'd find a way around it. Though, Rau had a point. She had been excused as a civilian at least 18 times. If it hadn't been for the temporary pass that Creuset gave her, she would have been detained for trespassing.
"So, where are you from?" Miguel asked casually as they continued walking.
She paused, thinking of what to say. "I was..born in ORB." She had little intention of telling them much more.
"Oh, a neutral country ay? So, why where you in Saylin?" Rusty asked, being his nosy self. I was a harmless question, though.
She looked at him, annoyed. Then stared strait ahead. She thought for a few minutes. She was trying to stay as close to the truth as possible so she wouldn't get caught up in her lies. She was opening her mouth to respond when Athrun cut in, "It's none of our business." he nodded firmly. Athrun had been avoiding her since her outburst outside the Elemental.
Leer smiled at him thankfully.
Rusty looked a little taken aback and Miguel thinned his eyes. Rusty was the first to recover, "Well, glad to have ya onboard." He patted her on the shoulder and he and Miguel turned down a hall way to their left. Leer looked at her shoulder, the one he had touched, and then at the retreating boys. 'At least they're not enemies..' she thought. The three of them walked in silence for another moment or two.
"You know, you'll have to give all that information eventually for your security card and military registration." Nicol informed her.
"Yeah..I know." she said still deep in thought.
"But that's not our business, now is it Nicol?" Athrun said smiling mildly.
"No..no it's not." Nicol muttered, agreeing.
Leer smiled. He was treating her like this after her outburst? She had thought he would be mad and not want to talk to her anymore. Was this what it was like to have friends? She felt good. She liked it, a lot. She wasn't expecting anyone to protect her, to give their life for her, but it was nice to know that she had friends who would stand with her in a situation.
"You'll tell us when you're ready, right?" Athrun asked, though it didn't sound like a question, more like a fact.
"Yes..when I'm ready.." she mused. She then looked up at them, "What about you? If I may ask? Where are you from?" Almost before she even finished her sentence the intercom blared, 'Athrun Zala, Yzak Joul, Dearka Elsman, and Nicol Amalfi, please report to the hanger immediately.'
"Perhaps another time." Athrun said nodding a farewell. He and Nicol quickly took off towards the hanger. She could hear their voices as they jogged down the hallway. They had no idea what was going on. Leer herself was curious but she hadn't been called.
She shrugged and stood there, putting her hands on her hips, "Huh, so this is what it's like..to be accepted.." she said thoughtfully.
