After The Battle's Over

AUTHOR'S NOTES: This is a short story about what happened during & after the bar brawl in GMD, & how, in my fanfics, the Rat Trap Saloon became The Rat Trap Family Restaurant.

All characters, especially Evelyn Rosedale, Auburn Patterson, Jiggy The Juggling Octopus, the Lorne Sisters, Rosie The Ribbiter, Ned The Newt, Cathy, Quigley Sampson, & the Rat Trap Band, are © Disney, but the names & personalities are © by me. Please ask me first before using them. Thank you.

Also, forgive me if some of the Cockney accents area little off.

Enjoy the story, & be sure to read & review, too! (But don't give me any flames. Constructive criticism is all right, though.)


It was a normal night at the Rat Trap. Or so we thought.

On a foggy, lonesome evening in 1897, the Rat Trap would never be the same again…

Oh, terribly sorry. Please allow me to introduce myself. My name is Auburn Patterson. I used to work as a bartender at the Rat Trap, & now I own the place.

You might think that when it comes to bars, after a particularly bad brawl, we might close up shop. But we didn't. We stayed open, but our business was somewhat different than we were originally notorious for…

And tonight, I, Auburn Patterson, will tell you the tale of what happened after our biggest brawl ever…


Not if I tell 'em first, Aubie!

Oh, hello, there, luvs. My name is Evelyn Rosedale. And I'm gonna be the one to start the story of how we became the Rat Trap Family Restaurant…


"All right, boys, do your stuff!"

Weary groans emitted from the mouths of my band.

Donnie, dear, 'ow many times 'ave I told ye not ta interrupt me when I'm tryin' ta tell a story?

Hey, it all starts with me first!

Anyway, I had just directed my friends Arnie The Drummer, Morey The Horn Player, Tom The Trombonist, Jack The Clarinet-Player, Wally The Tuba-Player, Jerry The Guitar-Player, Brad The Flute-Player, & Lennie The Saxophone-Player to go through another 90 minutes of practice.

Morey, a stout little fellow, was sitting on his stool, looking awfully bored.

In his gravelly, Dom-Irrera-type voice, Morey complained, "C'mon, Don, do we have to practice again now?"

Arnie piped up, "I'm hungry!"

"When's lunch?" asked Lennie.

Just then, Evelyn Rosedale, the barmaid, came by.

"Lennie, ye know we don't serve food 'ere."

"Yeah," said Auburn Patterson, the bartender, as he looked up from cleaning a beer mug. With a dirty smirk in his brown eyes, Auburn snorted, & gave out a coarse chuckle as he said sarcastically, "Try the fancy bistro on the pier!"

Tom commented in his Gilbert-Gottfried-type voice, "Yeah, we should go there! I'm starving!"

Evelyn shook her head. "Sorry, luv, but ye know th' rules."

Tom frowned. "I know, I know, you're not supposed to leave."

"That's right, dear," said Evelyn. "Besides, we got a big show tonight."

Brad spoke up, "Jiggy's gonna be doing his routine, then Rosie & Ned are coming on…"

"Then to wrap it all up, we do the Lornes' song!" finished Wally.

"This show is gonna be great!" I said to my band buddies.

"That still doesn't keep me from being hungry," said Tom, rubbing his empty stomach.

Just then, Arnie spoke up. "Hey, did you hear? Today's the day of Queen Mousetoria's Diamond Jubilee!"

My band friends & I were shocked, to say the least. We totally forgot that today was the day that marked Her Majesty's 60th year as Mouse Queen Of England!

"Boy," I said to myself in excitement. "I wish we could go!"

Lennie piped up, "Yeah, we need to go celebrate!"

Evelyn frowned sadly at us again, shaking her head. "Sorry, luv, but rules are rules."

Just then, Morey raised his hand, just as Evelyn was about to walk off.

"Uh, Evelyn…"

Evelyn turned to Morey.

"Um, forgive me for being so crass, but, um..." (He paused for a moment to think of the right words.) "I really agree with these guys. We need to go to the celebration tonight."

Evelyn gently protested again, "Morey, I know ye want us ta go, but we're gonna 'ave too many customers t'night."

Morey wasn't finished, though: "That's just it! They should be at the Jubilee tonight, instead of lounging around in this stupid bar like flies on a mule! Tonight is a night for partying, not for drinking! We need to go to the Jubilee & show some respect for our Queen!"

Evelyn shook her head once more. "I'm sorry, luv, but we can't go."

Morey frowned. "That's just like you, Evelyn. You don't give a damn about anything anymore! You're too cold, too indifferent, too hardened by the pub life!"

"Look, Morey, all I'm sayin' is--"

"Listen, Evelyn, there may not be a monarchy where I come from, but I still know that when your ruler is celebrating their 60th year in power, you have to go to the celebration whether you're busy or not!"

Evelyn frowned at Morey. She said in a warning tone, "Now, don't make me get angry--"

"Whatever happened to respect for your leader? Whatever happened to national pride? Whatever happened to all that stuff?"

No one responded. Not even I bothered to speak up & answer Morey's rhetorical questions.

Morey frowned in disappointment at us. "It's gone, that's what happened to it. Patriotism is gone forever as we know it."

After sighing heavily, Morey continued, "I tell you, there's just no respect for your leaders anymore. I guess that if no one comes to the celebration tonight, we might as well all be labeled 'traitors'."

Evelyn frowned at Morey again, this time in concern. "Morey, I want ta be there, too, but we just can't--"

"I mean, come on, this is a once-in-a-lifetime chance. It's not every century that a queen gets 60 years on the throne."

Morey hung his head low, his eyes filling with tears. "But what the heck? Go on & open the bar again, anyway. No one will care." Shaking his head, he repeated to himself in a hushed tone, "No one will care."

Evelyn wanted to say something, but she kept quiet, & walked off. The only words she ever said were, "I wish we coul' all be there, myself. If only it were so..."

The band & I all looked compassionately at Morey, before getting back to practice.

Although technically, I did agree with Morey. After all, what was the point of celebrating Queen Mousetoria's Diamond Jubilee if you couldn't be there to celebrate it?


"Do re mi fa so la ti do…"

"Sheena, you need to work on your dance moves, & not your voice," I said to my sister.

"Oh, right," said Sheena, as she began to practice a can-can.

I smiled at Sheena for a moment, before getting back to my cross-stitch.

Just then, the dressing room door opened. Kitty came in, panting heavily...

I looked up from my sewing. "Kitty, what is it?"

Kitty smiled at me & Sheena. "Girls," she said happily, "tonight we're gonna croon that tune!"

"Again?" asked Sheena in disappointment as she continued to practice her dance steps.

Kitty nodded, still smiling. "Uh-huh!"

I asked my older sister, "Kitty, don't you ever get tired of that song?"

Kitty shook her head, still keeping that proud smile on her face. "No, this song is gonna be my all-time favorite forever!"

A sigh emitted from Sheena's lips, before she started putting on her makeup.

"Sheen, we don't need to put on our makeup until 9!"

Sheena turned to Kitty. "I know," she said with a coy smile & a wink. Then, puffing powder on her nose & cheeks, she added, "I'm just getting a little powder job in advance!"


"Rosie, watch it! You're squishing me again!"

"Sorry, Neddie, but if only you weren't so small, you wouldn't have that problem!"

Ned looked up from under my large, purple-striped-pants-covered bum. With an irritated frown, my little friend grunted angrily, "I can't help it! I was born that way!"

"Sorry to interrupt your practicing, guys, but we have some bad news," said Auburn, who had come just as soon as I got off Ned, who was as flat as a pancake.

"What's wrong, Aubie?" I asked in concern.

"Please don't call me 'Aubie', only my mother can do that." Auburn cleared his throat, then continued, "We won't be having a day off for the celebration. As much as it kills me to miss out on the biggest bash of the year, Evelyn says we can't leave on account of the customers. Although, personally, I'd rather go out & disobey Evelyn rather than disappoint my Queen."

"So? We're not even British!"

Auburn shrugged his shoulders, then said, "Sorry, Rosie, just wanted to let you & Ned know."

Then he walked back outside, closing the door.

As soon as we were alone, Ned said, "Well, gotta go lift some weights so I can carry you tonight!"

And in a moment, he was exercising his head off, & I was practicing my part of the routine.


"No! Please! Not the sailors! PLEASE, ANYTHING BUT THAT!"

"Jiggy, calm down, luv. We'll make sure ye don' get yer eight-legged bum whipped by those tough-talkin' seamice."

I sat down on the stage, sighing in relief.

My head in my eight tentacled hands, I lamented, "Just because I'm a Jew doesn't give them the right to throw things at me, much less knives & rotten fruit!"

Evelyn frowned at me compassionately, as she was wont. "I know, luv," she said sympathetically. "Jus' because they've traveled th' world, doesn't mean they're smart; in fact, they're as thick-headed as mules."

I laughed at Evelyn's insult. "Darn right, they are!" Standing proudly, I said loudly & mightily, "Tonight, when I do my show, they're gonna think I was the best act of all! They're gonna clap & cheer!"

Evelyn pounded a fist in the air, as she goaded me on, "That's the spirit, luv!"

To Don The Pianist, Evelyn directed, "Don, do the song again!"

As I tapped along merrily to Don's jaunty piano tune, juggling my multicolored balls in the air, I felt so proud to practice, to sing, to dance, right now...


"Ow!"

"Cathy, watch where you're shoving the cards!"

Flipping my red hair out of my face, adjusting my green beret, & glaring at the fat guy that had just bumped into me, I protested to my poker buddy, "But Rick, it wasn't my fault! That damn bastard bumped into me!"

The chubby guy turned to me, & he bowed to me! Me! Cathy Sheridan, the nastiest playgirl in Mouse London!

He also took off his bandanna, & said, "Oh, I do beg your pardon, madam!"

That guy was a fool, coming to the Rat Trap talking & acting like a fancy rich gentleman!

I decided to teach him a lesson about being a lowlife that he would never forget...

The fat guy choked on my cigarette smoke, as I started laughing my bum off & dealing another card hand. Rick & Tod couldn't help but join in the laughfest with me.


It was the night I dreamed of! Tapping & juggling my heart out to the smiling world!

Jiggy, you got booed off the stage!

Hey, I'm not finished yet, Ned!

At least that's how it was in my mind. When I took my final bow, I heard clapping...but only from one chubby guy wearing a pirate costume.

At least someone cared.

Then came the booing I dreaded hearing every time I did this act.

"Get off, you eight-legged bum!"

"And take your balls with you!"

"Boo!"

My eight legs wheeled around in the air as I managed to escape the showers of rotten tomatoes & bloody knives.


"Rosie, Ned, you're on!"

I nodded with a smile at Kitty. "Right-o! C'mon, Ned!"

As our favorite song sounded on Don's piano, Ned held me up on his shoulders, as we rode down his unicycle onto the stage.

"Boo!"

I flipped a somersault in the air, just as Ned fell off his unicycle onto the wooden-planked stage floor, & the curtains closed.

Then Ned & I took our unicycle, hat, & cane with us as we rushed back to our dressing room for cover.


"Don, they're acting up again! Better play the song!"

"Right, Brad!" My heart pounding wildly in my chest, I began to play a beautiful song on the piano that the Rat Trap Band had played for 3 years...


Dearest friends, dear gentlemen
Listen to my song

Life down here's been hard for you
Life has made you strong

Let me lift the mood
With my attitude...

Don The Pianist began to play a steady beat, as I sang & danced confidently & provocatively on the stage in front of the bar-goers...

Hey, fellas
The time is right!
Get ready
Tonight's the night!

Boys, what you're hoping for will come true
Let me be good to you...

You tough guys
You're feeling all alone...

You rough guys
The best of you sailors & bums
All of my chums!

So dream on
And drink your beer
Get cozy
Your baby's here!

You won't be misunderstood
Let me be good to you!

The rest of the Rat Trap Band joined in the song once again, as I ducked behind the curtains...

...& came out with my twin sisters Bridget & Sheena, dressed in the skimpy blue leotard I had worn for as long as I could remember.

Dancing & singing more provocatively, I flirted with the horny men by the stage...

Hey, fellas
I'll take off all my blues!

I took off my skirt (which I had also been wearing), flinging it across the room. The men went wild! (But then again, they always did.)

Hey, fellas
There's nothin' I won't do
Just for you!

As Bridget & Sheena "can-canned" in front of the audience, I still kept singing & dancing by myself on the other side of the stage...

Hey, fellas
The time is right!
Get ready
Tonight's the night!

Boys, what you're wishing for will come true
Let me be good to you...

Hey, fellas
I'll take your blues away

Hey, fellas
There's not a reason to
Be sad today!

Just then, I saw Bridget & Sheena help an overweight guy in a pirate costume climb onto the stage.

"Who's that guy?" I asked, pointing to the mouse.

Bridget & Sheena held up the face of the drunk-looking mouse to meet my eyes, his chin in their gloved hands.

Smiling coyly at me, Sheena said, "He wants to join in the song!"

Bridget let out a giggle, as I said with a smile, "Sure, why not?"

Bridget, Sheena, & I started dancing with the dance-volunteer, as I finished up the song...

So dream on
And drink your beer
Get cozy
Your baby's here!

Hey, boys, I'm talkin' to you!

I swung the mouse around, before flinging him in between Bridget & Sheena, who started can-canning with him.

Your baby's gonna come through!

Let me be good...to...you!

As the song came to a close, I jumped in the air, & struck my favorite pose. "Yeah!"

Then the curtains closed, as Bridget & Sheena followed me to the dressing room.


I had just finished playing "Let Me Be Good To You", just as some fat guy came crashing down on Old Iron Mouse!

Upset at the guy for wrecking my favorite piano, I yelled at him, "Hey, fat boy, get off my piano!"

The guy didn't listen to me. He appeared to be pretty drunk.

So I decided to wake him up. Grabbing a stick, I swung at the guy, who fell asleep on the piano, making me miss my shot...& hit someone in the head!

I turned around to find a very angry Quigley Sampson growling at me.

My knees were buckling as the notorious gambler glared at me, before grabbing me by the throat, & beating the crap out of me.

Just then, I heard the other band boys shout, "Take cover!"

I braced myself as I collided into Old Iron Mouse, & the piano crashed into the wall with a bowling-type sound.

"Ow! Gosh-darn it to heck!"

"Tom!"

As soon as I recovered from my injuries, I immediately jumped off my broken piano, & rushed over to find Tom The Trombonist squealing in pain, & clutching his left leg.

"Tom, what happened?" I asked in a panicked voice.

Grunting in agony, Tom replied, "My leg is broken!"

Rushing over to the counter, I told Tom, "I'll go get help!"

But I was shocked to find Evelyn & Auburn gone.

I looked around frantically for the two barkeepers, who were busy trying to break up the now-violent brawl.

After looking around for something to bind Tom's leg in, I saw a pirate & the chubby guy that wrecked my piano climb down through a trapdoor.

"Wait, stop, you can't go there, it's dangerous!"

But the mice didn't listen to me, & they climbed down, shutting the door behind them.

I sighed, hoping they would make it out of Ratigan's lair alive.

After finally finding some bandages, I rushed back to the band area, & helped put a cast on Tom's leg, just as Morey came to me with broken bones, a bloody nose, & a concussion to the head.


"Quigley, stop it! Stop it, I say!"

But Sampson didn't listen to me, & he continued to throttle Lennie, our saxophone player.

Just then, Evelyn smashed a vase over Quigley's head, & the gambler fainted to the ground, unconscious.

Gathering up a traumatized Lennie, I asked him as softly & gently as I could, "Lennie, boy, are you OK?"

The frightened Lennie shook his head with a whimper.

"Aubie! C'mere, quick!"

Still carrying Lennie, & going over to Evelyn, I said in a harsh tone, "Evelyn, I've told you & everyone else a million times, don't call me 'Aubie'!"

Evelyn grabbed me by the arm, & carried me over to the food counter.

As the three of us ducked under the counter & hid in safety (or at least what we thought it was), Evelyn whispered in an angry voice, "Auburn, what th' 'ell just 'appened 'ere?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "I don't know, Evs. I just heard the piano crashing, before I saw the brawl start."

Burying her face in her hands, Evelyn sobbed, "Oh, Aubie, what are we goin' ta do?"

I felt enough sympathy for Evelyn to not scold her about her misuse of that name.

With a sad look on my face, I gently gave Evelyn's hand a reassuring squeeze, as I said in a hushed tone, "I don't know, Evelyn. I just don't know..."


"Kitty! Bridget! Come quick!"

My sisters rushed outside, panting for breath.

"Sheena, what is it? What's wrong?"

I struggled to catch my breath as I said in alarm, "There's a brawl going on!"

"There IS!" Kitty followed me & Sheena as we made our way backstage.

When we opened the curtains, we could not believe what we saw...

The Rat Trap was literally in the middle of chaos! Parts of the bar were dim & dark, as various things flew all around the place: bloody knives, daggers, rotten fruit, bullets, rocks, forks, hatchets, machetes, books, chairs, stools, & empty beer mugs were among them. The place was deafeningly loud; screams of anger & pain filled the smoky saloon air, along with a few oaths & swearwords. Walls were beaten, punctured, & stained with bodily fluids, the floor had some holes in it, some of the lamps were broken, & the ceiling was spattered in blood. Various mice & other rodents were scattered all across the pub, their bodies covered in blood. Some patrons were even dead.

The girls & I were too shocked to say anything, let alone a single "Oh...my...God..."

"C'mon, girls, let's get out of here!"

Kitty drew her shawl around her shoulders, as we grabbed our full carpetbags, & rushed towards the entrance.

Just then, Don shouted from the band area, "Where are you girls going?'

Kitty said as we rushed by, "Sorry, Don, we have to leave! It's too dangerous to stay here tonight!"

Then, without saying another word, we exited the hostile pub, & rushed for the safety of our little shack on the London docks.


In the Rat Trap, the fight was starting to get worse & worse.

Looking from behind the curtains, I was just about to vomit at the sight of all the carnage.

Well, actually, let me rephrase that: I did vomit. Very badly.

"Jiggy!"

As soon as I heard Rosie call my name, I got up on my eight feet, & walked over to my cold-blooded friends.

Frightened by all that was going on, I whispered to Ned, "What are we going to do?"

Ned said in a panicked voice, "I don't know, but let's get out of here!"

Rosie, Ned, & I all screamed in fear as we ran for the safety of my dressing room.


"This is for the night you bedded me, you little--"

"Cathy!"

Evelyn came & snatched the knife I was about to kill Quigley Sampson with.

Quigley ran off before I could catch him, speeding out the exit of the bar.

Turning to Evelyn, I glared at the barmaid. "What the hell did you do that for?"

Evelyn glared back at me, her eyes burning with rage. "Cathy, ye were th' one 'oo started it!"

I was shocked, to say the least. How could Evelyn blame me for all this?

All I could do was defend myself: "It wasn't my fault! Quigley started it!"

"Excuses won't save yer sorry ass now," Evelyn growled at me.

"I'm not making an excuse, it's the truth--"

Evelyn cut me off before I could finish my sentence: "Ye're a liar! A bitch! A bloody li'l temptress! A cheap 'ore! A sinner!"

Shaking my hips in front of Evelyn, I said mockingly, "Look who's talking, little miss 'I'm-so-pretty-all-the-men-want-to-sleep-with-me'!"

Evelyn slapped me across the face with the knife, drawing blood.

Getting extremely pissed off, I shouted angrily to Evelyn, "You little bitch! You think you can slap me like that, call me foul names, & get away with it, but you're wrong! You're dead wrong!"

Evelyn glared daggers at me that were sharper than the one in her hand. "Cathy--get out."

Adjusting my beret, I started, "I don't have to--"

"Get out."

Smiling cockily at Evelyn, I continued, "You can't tell me what to do, broad."

"GET THE FUCK OUT NOW, OR I'LL KILL YOU!"

By this point, Evelyn had put the dagger to my throat, ready to slice at any moment.

I knew that Evelyn wasn't kidding, & I also knew I had a choice: either leave the Rat Trap forever, or die.

I decided to chose the former. With a heavy sigh, Iv walked to the front door, pausing to look back at Evelyn one last time.

"And don't you ever come back!"

That did it. I pushed the door open, & headed for my penthouse nearby, never to come back to the Rat Trap again.


The fight had reached its highest point. Much to our sorrow.

Over half of our patrons were dead, & the only ones alive were me, Evelyn, Rosie, Ned, Jiggy, & the Rat Trap Band.

(The Lorne Sisters had gone home, probably to escape the carnage.)

As I helped clean up Morey, who had been horribly mutilated in the violent brawl, I told Evelyn, "Evsie, you have to stop the fight! Before it's too late!"

Evelyn looked at me with tears in her gentle blue eyes. "I can't, Aubie," she said with a sob.

Ignoring the inappropriate name-calling, I goaded Evelyn, "Yes, you can, Evelyn!"

Just then, I saw a smashed group of mice sprawl over to our side of the bar.

One of the inebriate guys drawled drunkenly, "'Ey, let's go upstairs. We can beat the shit out of those guys!"

The other men agreed, before crawling in a stupor upstairs.

My cigar almost fell out of my mouth.

"Oh, no," I whispered to myself in fear, shaking my head. "They're going after Uncle Albert!"

Evelyn turned to me with a curious look in her eyes. "Who's Uncle Albert?" she asked inquisitively.

Damn, I thought to myself. The secret's out!

Panicking, I said to Evelyn, "Never mind, he doesn't exist! He's just an imaginary friend!"

Evelyn shrugged her shoulders, then turned back, firs to Tom, then to me, as I said, "Evelyn, I want you to go & stop those guys from getting upstairs!"

Evelyn rushed off, & said, "I'm on it, luv!"

Smiling at Evelyn, I thanked my darling friend, before looking up to the heavens.

With a desperate look in my eyes, I prayed, "God be with you, Uncle Albert!"


Time was ticking away as I rushed to the door & stairway that led to the rows of flats upstairs.

The drunken mob was just about to climb up the stairs, but I managed to get in their way, my arms & legs touching each corner of the doorway.

The boys looked up at me, & glowered at me.

"'Ey, lady, get out of the damn way! There's people upstairs we 'aven't done 'arm to!"

I glared at the men, refusing to move. "No," I said sharply. "I refuse to budge."

One of the men came up to me, & tried to pry me loose. But when my body stayed in the same place, the man smiled evilly.

Then he reached up to me, groping my body.

Oh, God! The man was about to...have his way with me!

I decided to play along. Smiling flirtatiously, I tickled the man's chin, bringing him closer to me...

Then, as he unbuttoned his shirt, I slowly wrapped my arms around the man, followed by my left leg.

The other men, eager to give us some privacy, left the stairs.

Just as the man was about to graze my neck with his teeth, I fondled him...before slamming him into the doorway, knocking him unconscious.

After fixing my clothes, I gathered the man's body, before going outside, & dumping it into the river.

Swacking the dust off my hands, I scoffed haughtily as I left the man to drown. No one makes a whore out of Evelyn Rosedale & gets away with it!


Back at the Rat Trap, the fight was starting to cease, but there was still violence going on.

After only 17 seconds, my face turned red, before I finally shouted the single word that would finally end the battle:

"STOOOPPPP!"

And from that point on, the war ended. Everyone stopped fighting, & turned their shocked faces around to listen to me.

Breathing heavily, I shouted angrily, "Now, listen, you bastards...this has got to stop! Fighting is no longer allowed here! From now on & forever more, the Rat Trap is CLOSED! Now, get out, all of you, & don't ever come back!"

Grumbling, all the thugs, sailors, & living bar patrons walked out, never looking back at the demolished pub.

Turning to Evelyn & the others, & winking coyly at them, I said, "The Rat Trap Saloon is closed, but there's a brighter future in store for us..."


It was a sunny day on June 25, 1897. And the warm, golden rays of the sun would do us good as we finished cleaning up the new eating area of The Rat Trap Family Restaurant.

In their new-&-improved band area, Lennie cheered happily, "I can't believe it! No more brawls or fighting!"

Don piped up with a smile, "No more swearing!"

Arnie added with a merry grin, "And now we get all the food we want for lunch!"

"Huzzah!" all the band members cried.

Jiggy danced joyfully onto the stage, practicing his juggling routine. With a happy smile on his face, Jiggy cheered, "And no more guys to boo me off the stage & throw things at me!"

I smiled at my dear friends, before getting back to cleaning an empty table.

With a coy little wink, I called out, "Aubie..."

Auburn looked up from cleaning the food counter, & scolded lightly, "Evelyn, we're not in the midst of crisis anymore. Don't call me 'Aubie'!"

Chuckling merrily, I simply said, "Suit yerself, swee' pea!"

Then I laughed merrily as I continued cleaning the table.

And I knew that we would never face another crisis like that. Because from now on, the Rat Trap would be the greatest family restaurant in the world, & one of the most peaceful.

THE END


AUTHOR'S NOTES: Well, that's the story of "After The Battle's Over"!

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