Disclaimer: The usual one applies. I don't own.
A/N: This is set probably mid season 6, after Donny and Daphne have started dating. The title comes from a Milan Kundera quote. I don't own that either.
Feedback would be very much appreciated. Either R&R at the bottom of the page or send to solitudeperfection at yahoo dot com.
"Standing Guard at the door."
The doorbell rang. I shuffled to the door, my hand clutching my robe shut. I peered through the security hole and sighed.
"Roz." I said sighing, opening the door.
She looked at me, holding a bottle in her hand. "I come baring gifts." she said, looking me over. "Then again, it lookslikeyou've already started."
I exhaled, and stepped back. She walked in, handing me the wine. She picked up the half bottle of whiskey that sat on the table.
"Hard stuff, Niles?" she asked.
I shrugged. "Yeah, after today..." I trailed off.
"Jim Beam" she said absentmindedly. "Martin's favourite."
She turned. "Is this a private wake, or would you like to drown your sorrows publicly?"
I smiled and went to find a glass. I poured her drink and she sat down, her legs wrapped under herself. I looked down at my apparel, and gestured.
"Maybe I should get dressed." I said lamely.
She looked. "Do you want to?"
I blinked. "No." I answered truthfully.
She shrugged. "Then don't." She replied, taking a sip of her whiskey. "It's not like I'm going to suddenly declare my everlasting love for you and then throw myself on you." She said sarcastically.
"Thank goodness." I replied deadpan.
"Anyways, we've already kissed." She said, referring to the weekend in the cabin.
"Yes. Everyone still kisses better than Maris." I said quietly.
"Really?" Roz asked.
I looked across at her, disbelief on my face. "Roz. This is Maris." I said, in way of an answer.
"Oh. Yes. Sorry."
"I could never...you know..." and I gestured between the two of us.
Roz smiled. "Any particular reason? Apart from the fact that you think I wait for the ships to dock?" she asked grinning.
I smiled, remembering that time. "Was I right?" I asked back, grinning.
"Week early." She replied deadpan.
I looked over, and managed to catch the smile before it was swallowed.
"So, why couldn't you?"
"It would be too weird." I replied honestly.
Roz looked at me. "Too weird." That's original Niles." And I could hear the hint of bitterness in her voice.
"No, I didn't mean it like that. You're like..."I gestured with my hands futilely. "I don't know. Like a cousin or a sister." I said softly. "I couldn't because your one of the few female friends I have. Sleeping with you would ruin that." I finished quietly.
Roz blinked. "Wow. Niles." She said quietly. "I've never thought about you romantically either." She admitted. "Now, Frasier..." and she trailed off, grinning.
"Roz!" I shouted. "Stop! Too much information. I don't want that mental image in my head."
She laughed. "Sorry Niles. I couldn't resist."
"Have you?" I asked.
"Me and Frasier?" I nodded. "No. Never. Might happen. Might not." And she shrugged in acceptance. "I thought you didn't want to talk about it?"
"I don't. I was just curious." I replied.
I shifted in my seat and poured myself another glass of whiskey. She proffered hers and I refilled it.
"How long did you date Donny for?" I asked.
"Few months. He was-is- really great. Very funny. Type of guy I could bring home to family occasions." She smiled.
"What do you mean?" I asked.
Roz laughed. "Niles, for a man who married into Seattle society, there's still a lot that you don't understand. He's a lawyer, Niles. He has money, respect. All the things that parents hope your daughter will marry."
I blinked in surprise. "I never knew. Even yours?" I asked blurting it out, then stared in shock as my brain caught up with my mouth. "Roz," I began to apologise. "I didn't mean..."
She cut me off with a hand on my arm. "Yes, Niles. Even mine. That's probably why he never met my parents. That, and a lot of cheese jokes." I said.
"Cheese jokes?" I asked, quizzically.
She waved the question off. "Long story. Some other time."
"Ok."
"He'll be good to her, Niles." Roz said softly. "To Daphne" she added as an afterthought.
I stared down at the liquid in my glass, watching the light catch it. "I knew who you meant." I said quietly. "Will he?" I asked.
Roz nodded. "Yeah. He will. That really means a lot to you, doesn't it?" she said with dawning understanding.
'Yeah. I love Daphne, Roz. Always have. Probably always will. And even though she may not return the feelings I have for her, it doesn't mean I want her to end up unhappy. That wouldn't be fair. Not for anyone, and especially not for her."
I shifted uncomfortably, realising the drink was loosening my tongue more than usual. I had never talked to Roz like this. And yet, yet it felt actually good. Therapeutic. I laughed to myself softly.
"What's so funny?" She asked.
"You make a good therapist." I replied.
"I spend too much time with you and Frasier. All of Frasier's psychobabble must have rubbed off of me." She shuddered, half laughingly.
"Frasier. Does he actually dispense psychiatric advice?" I asked mockingly.
"Ah yes. Frasier and his McSessions." She grinned. "And yes, he does." She added seriously.
"I know." I said quietly. "I just like to say it to get a reaction out of him." And I grinned.
Roz got up, carrying the empty whiskey bottle with her. I heard the clank as it went into the recycling. She came back, carrying two wine glasses in one hand and a corkscrew in the other. She proffered the latter to me.
"Care to do to the honours?"
I took it from her and she put the glasses down. I poured her glass first, nearly filling it.
She smiled "Not offering me a taste first?" she asked laughingly.
"Too far gone to care." I replied succinctly, and took a sip. "It's not bad, actually." I said.
"Thanks, Niles. I think." She added.
"How Alice?" I asked.
Roz smiled, her face completely changing. "She's great. She started playgroup this week."
"Already?" I asked surprised.
She laughed. "Niles, Alice is 3 now."
I blinked. "Really. Wow. I still remember when she was born."
"So do I." she replied half wincing, half smiling at the memory. "You know, I always thought Donny would make a great dad." she said quietly. "And after I saw him with Alice, it made me realise..." she trailed off, uncomfortably.
"You're a great mom, Roz." I said truthfully. "And as for male influence, she has... well there's me and Frasier..." I trailed off, and then it came to me. "She has Dad." I finished proudly.
She raised her glass in mock salute. "Nice save Niles."
I bowed my head slightly, acknowledging her. "Thank you," I said seriously.
We sat comfortably for a minute, not speaking, merely drinking.
Roz looked at her watch, and stretched. "Niles, I should probably go."
"You could stay." I replied.
She looked over at me and I shook my head. "Not like that." I said exasperatingly. "I do have a few extra bedrooms."
Roz laughed. "Niles, a family of four could live here and you wouldn't notice. Are you sure it would be ok?"
"Yeah. Just remember to return the favour." I said smiling.
"Ok. Thanks." She paused. "Is it me or is the room spinning?"
I sat, half thinking. "The room's spinning." I said proudly.
"And you're slurring your words." She replied laughingly.
Roz stood up, swayed and then got her balance. She offered her hand to me.
"Come on, Niles. Time for bed."
I nodded and pulled at her hand. "Thanks."
We reached the top of the stairs and I pointed down the hallway. "Second door on the left. I don't have any spare night clothes." I said half apologetically.
Roz smiled. "Don't worry Niles. I've slept on my friends' floor before in my underwear. This will be fine."
"Ok."
"Niles, she said. Tonight's been really fun."
I thought about it for a second. "Yeah, it really has. You'll have to return the favour one day." I said smiling.
"Ok." She answered seriously. Her hand rested on the doorknob. "Goodnight Niles.
"Goodnight Roz." I replied.
Two weeks later.
Roz heard the doorbell and put down her washing. "Coming." she shouted.
She opened the door and saw Niles standing there, bottle in one hand.
"Hello." He said. "I come baring gifts."
Roz smiled. "Frasier told me you got kicked out of the Montana. Come in." and she stepped back, closing the door behind us.
