A/N: I am SO SO sorry I took this long to update. It's been like, a week. And I said I'd update soon. Anyway, here is chapter eight, and I'm sorry to youP/S people, but this is going to be a j/s fic. Any who, thank you sooooooooooooo much for reviewing. I feel special.
mahley: wow. Well, I'm sorry if it took kinda long, but I wrote the next chapter. so yay for me. :)
foreverinuyasha's: honestly, I don't care if you repeat the same review every time. Don't get me wrong, variation is a good thing, but I'm just happy to have reviews. Seriously.
everyone else: thank you so so so so so so so much for reviewing! Much appreciated.
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Chapter Eight
My footsteps echoed down the hallway, loudly and annoyingly.
I was headed for something. I didn't know what, but I knew I needed to find out. I began to run. I was in the Shadowlands, fog swirled around my feet, and I knew that for once this hadn't been Paul's doing. I wasn't even completely sure it wasn't a dream.
I stopped. I had reached the end of the hallway. But there was no end…maybe this was a dream.
I reached for the doorknob, the metal was cool to my touch, too cool. It felt like it was freezing my fingers and burning them at the same time. Should I open it? I had too, something was telling me I had too…
I twisted the knob, the door creaked open, like it hadn't been opened in a thousand years.
I swung it all the way open, stepped into the room. Fog swirled around my feet, beckoning me, temping me. I slowly made my way in.
What was I waiting for…if I was waiting at all. Maybe I was the one someone was waiting for.
The walls were white. There were no windows and when I turned back around, there was no door. Oddly enough, I wasn't afraid.
She appeared behind me. I didn't see it but I felt her appear. It was a subtle change in the air, I couldn't hear anything. She was just…there.
I turned to face her. She was tall, elegant and old. Her gray hair was swept up in a sophisticated knot behind her head. Her hands were wrinkly, she looked timelessly old, like someone that was so old they were young.
Which is, impossible.
She walked toward me swiftly and quickly. For the first time I felt my body recoil, like I wanted to run away. I wouldn't let myself.
She smiled at me; it was a warm smile, so why did I want to run screaming? It must be this place…
"Hello, I knew we would meet eventually. The circumstances are a little different, but…it doesn't really matter, does it?"
I nodded like I knew what she was talking about. Her voice…it was like listening to silk, if silk could speak. If I had closed my eyes, I would have imagined a young woman, not an old lady.
"Nothing is what it seems dear, you of all people should know this…and yet, maybe you don't," she sighed heavily. Okay, maybe this woman would win the confusing people quickly award…
"I'm sorry, I don't—"
"I suppose I should explain. We don't need to make formal introductions, but I've been asked to take you back, show you what happened. An old friend. Well, a young friend, but one I have known for quite a while."
"But who…"
"Do you really know of no one?"
"Paul?"
A smile flickered across her face.
"I can take you back without any harm being done to you, and you know when I'm talking about, but I need your complete cooperation, as well as Hector's. Paul may come as well, I have a feeling I won't have a choice there."
I hesitated. Did I really want to see what happened that day I came home to Shannon and Jesse? Did I really want to know? But if Jesse was telling the truth…I might just have to fling my arms around his neck and give him that kiss I'd wanted to give him. And if not…than nothing would change.
So what did I have to lose, really?
Nothing. I had no Jesse. I had nothing.
But could I handle seeing that again?
I nodded.
"I thought so, and Susannah, you are strong," she walked toward me, took my hand in hers. Her skin was soft, but it was the only part of her that I could see was…old, everything else was so young, and her eyes, these sparkling green emeralds, so like my own…she was actually quite pretty for an old woman, in an oldish way, "you are stronger than you can believe, but first, you need to learn."
"Learn what?" she started to walk away, the door reappeared.
"Learn to trust again."
I stood in the middle of the room as she walked away. Learn to trust? But I did trust lots of people…well. I trusted Paul. I trusted…
That was it, actually. No one else was that predictable. Which was why I could trust him.
Was I really that alone?
I walked to the door, my hand touched that knob, cold and searing hot at the same time, and when the door cracked open…
…I woke up.
I lurched upward, like from a bad nightmare. Was it real?
I looked up to see Paul's icy blue eyes looking down at me.
"Suze? You okay?"
"Ye…" was I? I didn't well, maybe I was actually, "Yeah…I'm fine," and because I liked the way it sounded, I said it again, "I'm fine."
"You met her, didn't you?"
A wry smile spread across my face, "how'd you guess?"
"We need to go find De Silva, now. The sooner the better. I'm sick of you moping around all the time," he stood and walked to the door, "I'll go get him."
"I don't mope," but it was useless as he was out the door and I could hear his feet pounding down the steps.
I groaned as I got up.
So that hadn't been a dream.
Crap.
Was this a good thing?
I felt excitement lurk in the bottom of my stomach, waiting to uncoil. Emotions, wanting to unveil themselves.
I looked in the mirror.
My face stared back at me.
The sooner the better.
Shaky and uncertain, I threw on a pair of faded blue jeans, a black polo shirt and a pair of sneakers. I tucked my long chestnut hair into a pony tail. Annoying, but useful.
I trotted down the steps, Jesse and Paul were waiting for me.
Jesse actually looked…hopeful.
He took my hands, and because it felt so good, I let him.
"Soon, you will see," he sounded so lost.
"Yes, I will," my tone was cold, but I couldn't hide my own hope.
I wanted so badly for him to be telling the truth. I wanted so badly for it to go back to when I was nineteen.
He lifted one of my hands to his lips and kissed it gently. I wanted to replace my hand with my lips.
God, after all these years my reaction to him still hadn't changed. He looked at me, touched me, and my whole body wanted to betray me. He gently released my hand.
"And Susannah?" I looked at him, sadly.
"Yes?" I realized this had to be the first normal conversation we'd had.
"Please, forgive me."
"I guess we'll see, won't we?"
I could see the hurt in his eyes, I wondered if he could see it reflected back in mine.
For the first time I noticed Paul, sitting on the couch.
I looked at him expectantly.
"You think we're leaving now? Are you nuts? I haven't even had a chance to talk to her. Tomorrow, maybe. The day after, definitely."
Damn. That sort of put a damper on things.
I sat next to Paul and Jesse slumped down in one of the cushony chairs. I briefly wondered if he would mind if I sat on his lap…
BAD SUZE.
A car pulled into the driveway, and Jake jogged to the door yelling "I got it!" which was really unnecessary. But whatever.
He flung it open and Aria walked in, followed by another girl. Paul looked up, and stared. I followed his gaze.
I knew he wasn't looking at Aria, who was leafing through a brochure with Jake, but at the other girl. Which confused me. She wasn't ugly or anything, but she was…well, actually, she was pretty.
She was short, maybe five foot six, but that would have been generous. She had long dark hair that was more of a mahogany color than brown. Her eyes were large and a deep blue color. Her skin was smooth and pale, like she didn't spend a lot of time out doors. She was full figured rather than skinny.
She was definitely pretty, but why was Paul staring at her like that?
She walked over and smiled at the two of us.
"Hi! You're Suze and you are…" she looked at Paul, he said nothing.
"Paul, that's Paul Slater," I answered for him, he stuck out his hand, still looking bewildered.
"Oh, well, I'm Sarah, I'm Aria's maid of honor, so we'll probably be seeing each other a bit," she gave a quick wave and stepped into the kitchen.
"What was that Paul?"
"Sarah…I like that name, she seemed nice, don't you think?"
"Sure, too bad you said nothing to her," It seemed to click in my brain, finally.
"You don't…like her like her, do you?" God Suze teleport back to eighth grade much?
"No," he said, and his cheeks turned a faint pink color.
Good God.
Paul. Slater. Just. Blushed.
I was trying not to laugh. I mean, it just seemed funny. It shouldn't. But it did.
His cheeks had turned to their normal color by the time Sarah came back into the living room holding a catalogue that showed various wedding dresses. She flipped to the bridesmaid dresses and mumbled to herself as she glanced at pictures and prices.
"So, Sarah, do you live around here?"
She looked up, "yah, you guys live in New York right?"
"Yah. I've been thinking about moving down here though," that was Paul.
"Really?" I hadn't heard anything about that…
"Yah, I never sold Gramp's house, and I was thinking about moving back down here and living in it."
I looked at Sarah and back at Paul. Right.
But he would move just to spend time with her?
"What about your offices?"
He gave me a blank look.
Oh. The plus point of his job was that he could work from anywhere so long as he made a trip there every few months. To just check on stuff.
"Right. Cool. I'll miss you."
Jesse looked me in the eye, "won't you be going with your boyfriend?"
Paul turned a greenish color. Crap. That was inconvenient wasn't it?
"Erm, yah. About that…we're going to…um…take a break. I think we'll be better off as just friends."
"After such a long time?" now he was teasing me. He knew. The little rat. He knew.
"Yah, but you know. Things change."
A smile twitched at the corner of his lips.
Sarah looked at Paul, "you two just broke up? And you're fine being in the same house?"
"Yah, it's complicated."
Jesse looked at me with that same knowing look.
I thought about flipping him the bird, but decided against it. Especially since I might soon be groveling at his feet.
But I guess I'd just have to wait and find out wouldn't I?
A/N: evil laughter What didya think? Reviews please! I love reviews!
