Sleepless Nights

Summary: John hasn't had more than two hours sleep a night. JohnChas.

A.N.: I don't know what compelled me to write this. But it's been written, so be thankful.


Chas waited with baited breath for John to open the door. When John finally did, wearing just the black slacks he had seen him in just a few hours earlier, Chas' breath was taken away. "Can--can I stay here?" he asked John.

John cocked his head to the side before taking the bag Chas had in front of him and leading him into the apartment.


The first night Chas stayed at John's, John was awoken by the younger man whimpering and almost-screaming from his couch in the next room. Rather than go comfort him in any way, John lay awake in bed, unable to sleep any longer.


The second night John went as far as sitting up in bed and just staring at the door back into the main room until finally his eyes drooped shut. He awoke the next morning with a stiff neck and was still exhausted.
The next night, John was clever enough to take a book with him to bed so when he was awoken again and couldn't sleep, he could read till the sun rose and he went into the kitchen to make breakfast for the both of them.
He did the same the next night too. He even went as far as the toss the covers off the bed and leaves the curtains thrown open so it felt like day still. Glancing at the door every five minutes though is a new thing for that evening. John strains to hear Chas' whimpering, because when he's whimpering, at least John knows he's still alive.
The fifth night, John moves to the edge of the bed, rubbing his tired eyes. He hasn't slept for more than two hours a night since Chas moved in. Shaking away thoughts of it, maybe, being a bad idea that he let Chas move in, John swings his legs over the bed and rubs his tired eyes. Maybe he'll get a good night sleep tomorrow.
He wakes up the next night of his own accord. He knows this because he can't hear a single sound coming from the next room. John gets up and walks to his bedroom door. He leans his ear against the door, straining to pick up a whimper or two. When he's met with silence, he crawls back to bed and falls asleep as soon as his head hits the pillow.
A week after Chas moved in John finds himself leaving his bedroom door open silently, enough so when he wakes up he can stand in the doorway and watch Chas toss and turn in his sleep. And he does just that.
Living on just two hours sleep a night as started to take its toll on John now. He knows it has when he starts to gaze longingly at Chas, not blinking for ten minutes until his eyes start watering.
And he tells himself that the next night and the night after that when he manages to wander into the dining room and sit at the table to watch him sleep, eyes 'watering' again. He silently wonders what Chas' dreaming about to cause him this much trauma.
On the eleventh night, John wonders how Chas hasn't picked up on John's slight protectiveness of him during the long days. As he's thinking this, he notices Chas' eyes flutter open and a smile creep onto his face. But as quickly as the smile arrived, it left and Chas was asleep again.
He realises how lucky he is that Chas hasn't brought his up during the day because now he's sitting next to the couch on the floor. He notes the creases of fright on Chas' forehead. John also notes that the lines around his own mouth and eyes are a result of not sleeping for nearly two weeks.
The thirteenth night arrives and John is on his knees in front of the couch, reaching out to run his hand through Chas' hair. When Chas stirs in his sleep, John pulls his hand away sharply, afraid he's woken the younger man up, but when Chas fall back into a deep sleep, John heaves a quiet sigh of relief.
Exactly two weeks have passed when John manages to find the courage to gently shake Chas awake. He presents him with a smile and a glass of ice-cold water. Here, John whispers. Chas sits up and rubs his eyes. How long have you been there? He asks. Long enough, John tells him, Go back to sleep. John walks back into his bedroom when he's happy that Chas is going to sleep okay for the rest of the night.
John did this for another week; gently shake Chas awake and give him a glass of water. They have a silent policy: John won't ask Chas what he's dreaming about if Chas doesn't ask John why he's so protective all of a sudden.
It was during the fourth week of Chas' stay that John needed to know. What are you dreaming about that has you so scaredwhen you sleep? John asks. Why are you so caring all of a sudden? Was Chas' response. And John was expecting it. And he'd worked himself up to tell the truth. But when he looked into Chas' glowing eyes, he couldn't say. Go back to sleep, John says to him. Are you going to stay tonight? Chas asks, looking so innocent all of a sudden. John nods and runs his hand through Chas' hair, settling himself into a sitting position on the floor in front of the couch.
It's the thirtieth night of Chas' stay and he's still tossing and turning in his sleep. By now, John's pacing to keep himself busy, keep his mind of dangerous thoughts. At exactly 3am, the time Chas has woken up on his own merits for the last four days, John looks over at Chas and sees him still sleeping, but tossing and turning more than usual. John rushes to his side and shakes him awake. What he doesn't expect is Chas to grab him and pull him close, hugging John to him tightly and sobbing into his chest. When the shock of what's happening dawns on John; he envelopes Chas in his arms and rocks the younger man back to sleep.
By the fortieth night, Chas has told John a little of what his nightmares consist of. You, me, demons, are the only words Chas has said. John has managed to decipher what Chas means though from the avoidance of Chas' eyes when he talks to John, and through the tensing of his back when he does talk to him. I'm okay kid, John tells him as they sit there, kissing his forehead lightly and holding him till they both fall asleep.
It's the forty-fifth night when John trusts himself enough to be able convince Chas to come back to bed with him. They lay there side-by-side, listening to the silence spread around the room.
They awake on the fiftieth night, John's arms wrapped around Chas waist as Chas lies with his back pressed hard into John's chest. Neither make an attempt to move, both content with laying in each other's warmth and safety.

"I love you," Chas tells John, threading his fingers with John's.

"I love you too Chas," John replies, kissing Chas' neck lightly.

They both fall back to sleep knowing neither will wake up in the middle of the night. John can finally sleep.


END