Lies
By Neurotica
Twenty
The evening after the final task, Sirius and Remus returned to Number Twelve to find Molly waiting anxiously for them or any of the other Order members to arrive. They explained to the Weasley matriarch about the events the night before—leaving out the dome that surrounded Voldemort and Harry. Molly had been the only member of the Order who hadn't been present, and Arthur had been busy at work all day.
Cedric Diggory and Viktor Krum were, thankfully, found alive and well within what was left of the Triwizard maze. Somehow, the two boys had hidden from the Death Eater intruders. Ron and Hermione had witnessed everything from beneath the Quidditch stands. Apparently, Harry had left them to help Sirius and Remus, and was cornered by Voldemort. None of the Order or Auror squads had been seriously injured in the battle. A few had been admitted to St. Mungo's and released only hours later.
Dumbledore had taken it upon himself to increase the wards surrounding Hogwarts and the village of Hogsmeade to protect from future attack. Portkey and Floo travel were no longer permitted on school grounds, save Dumbledore's office. The Headmaster had set a rather complicated password to Floo into his fireplace and was only given out to the teaching staff and certain others. The only means of arrival into Hogsmeade was to Floo into the Three Broomsticks where Minister Bones had appointed the DMLE to stand guard.
Igor Karkaroff had not returned to the school after the attack. His students were escorted by Aurors back to Durmstrang. Madame Maxime and her students were taken back to France with Hagrid as their guard.
Draco Malfoy was caught out of the Slytherin dungeons by the Head Boy during the attack. He wouldn't tell anyone what he was doing out of his common room. In a compromise between Dumbledore and Snape, Malfoy was suspended from Hogwarts for the remainder of the year, and would have to complete his end of the year exams next year to be promoted to the status of fifth year.
Remus sat alone in the basement kitchen sipping a glass of firewhiskey while Sirius showed Molly out, and took a (much needed, in Remus' opinion) shower.
The werewolf was thinking back to less complicated times. Days when there was a war around them, but life seemed simpler to deal with. He never realized how much he missed having Naomi around before the previous night. She'd betrayed him, just as Wormtail had, and he detested her for it. But there were times when he missed Wormtail as well, only because there was a time when Wormtail hadn't been a lying traitor.
At the same time he detested her very being, however, a small part of him still longed for her. Remus never understood why she felt the need to join Voldemort's ranks. She was a pureblood, but her family had been very close to the Potters. Mr. and Mrs. Potter had been Naomi's godparents before their deaths. Remus had never heard her speak about the Dark Side in any other way than with the utmost hatred.
He drank the last of his firewhiskey and thought back to the day she showed him the Dark Mark.
It had been three days since Lily and James' funeral, a week since their deaths. He'd been drinking himself into what he believed at the time to be an irreversible depression.
Naomi had shown herself into Remus' cottage just as she had done so many times over the years. She found him on the sofa with his head buried in his hands, his elbows on his knees. She sat beside him, but didn't place an arm around him in comfort like she normally did. Instead, she poured herself a strong drink.
"I have something to tell you," she said softly, running her finger around the rim of the glass, looking anywhere but at him.
"Did somebody die again?" Remus said flatly. "Because I can't handle that at the moment, Naomi."
"Nobody died, Remus," she assured him.
"What, then?"
Naomi sighed. "You're going to hate me."
Remus shook his head and looked at her. "I could never hate you," he said sincerely, moving her blonde hair away from her eyes.
"I can't be with you anymore, Remus," she said, still avoiding his eyes.
Remus' hand dropped to her side. "What?" he muttered. She couldn't be doing this, not after everything that's happened.
"I've done something," she began hesitantly. "And if we started a family or whatever like we've talked about... I just can't, Remus."
"Okay, no family, that's fine. Why do you think we can't be together?" he asked softly, almost desperately.
Finally, for the first time since her arrival, she met his eyes. He could see fear and shame in them. "I'm a Death Eater."
Remus stared blankly at her for a moment. "Excuse me?" he said, hoping the alcohol was doing something to his ears.
"Two days before Lily and James died, the Dark Lord gave me the Mark." Naomi lifted the left sleeve of her robe and showed Remus the blackened skull.
"No," he whispered, not taking his eyes from the mark. "NO!" he shouted, pounding his fist on the coffee table.
"Remus, please," Naomi pleaded, tears filling her hazel eyes.
"Please what, Naomi? You come in here, brandishing that—that thing... What do you expect me to say?" he yelled, standing from the sofa and pacing.
"I don't know," she replied quietly.
"Why?" he asked flatly after a few minutes, facing away from her and staring into the dying embers of the fireplace.
Again, Naomi sighed. "After Julia died, and all those people in the Order, I thought it was hopeless... that we'd never win."
Remus ignored her response. Something else had popped into his mind. "Did you know?" he asked, his own eyes filling with tears.
"Know what?"
"That Sirius was going to betray Lily and James."
"Sirius didn't betray them, Remus," Naomi said firmly.
"And I'm supposed to believe you?" Remus spat.
Naomi sat back in the sofa and sighed, trying to keep the tears from her eyes. She'd known it would be hard, but not this bloody hard.
"Go to Dumbledore," Remus said suddenly.
"What?"
"Go to Dumbledore. He can help you. You don't have to do this, Naomi. Voldemort's gone. Dumbledore can help," Remus said.
"I can't do that," Naomi whispered.
"Why in the bloody hell not?" Remus shouted.
"I... I just can't. I came to tell you what I've done. That's all. I'm not going back on it, Remus. I swore allegiance to the Dark Lord. I'm sorry," Naomi said, standing.
Remus felt his heart break at that moment. She'd betrayed him. Sirius had betrayed him. Sirius had probably been the reason she'd joined Voldemort; they'd always been the best of friends. That was just another reason Remus hated Sirius for five years.
"If you report me to the Ministry, I'll understand. I have to go, Remus. I'm so sorry," she said quietly.
Remus could do nothing but watch the love of his life walk out his front door. He wouldn't report her to the Ministry or to Dumbledore. Nobody had to know but him.
With a fresh bottle of firewhiskey in hand, Remus sat back on his sofa and continued on as if Naomi had never visited him. His world had ended on Halloween 1981, and this was yet another example of Remus Lupin's hell.
Sirius leaned against the cool tiles of the shower as the hot water streamed down his body. He wasn't sure what to think or what to feel. Since the night before, at the final task, his head was spinning out of control, and there was no way to stop it. So many things were flooding his mind—well, only three things, really, but they were big things.
Echoes, Dumbledore had said. Echoes of their former selves. But it looked like them, and it sure as hell sounded like them.
Sirius never realized how badly he wanted—needed —to see them again. He'd thought about it, sure, even wished about it. But he never believed it would actually happen.
Remus once asked him why they couldn't live normal lives, why they couldn't just... live. At the time, Sirius didn't have an answer for his best friend; he'd been wondering the same thing. But as he thought more about it, he began to believe life had some sort of plan for all of them. A sick, twisted plan at times, but it was a plan nonetheless. There had been a reason Julia and Lily and James had been murdered. There had been a reason Sirius had gone after Wormtail, and consequentially, gone to Azkaban. There had been a reason Wormtail had gone to Remus' cottage five years later on the full moon. There had been a reason for every event that had occurred in the thirty-six years of Sirius' life.
For years, Sirius forced himself to think James hated him for the switch of Secret-Keepers. He thought about it so much, it had become ingrained on his mind: His best friend hated him. But the night before, at Hogwarts, James said he never blamed Sirius. Those words had meant more to the Head Auror than even he knew.
And Julia... she'd been proud of him. She would have said yes to his marriage proposal. It made him wonder what would have happened had they been able to get married and perhaps start a family. If they'd had children, they would have been around Harry's age now, maybe a bit younger. Unfortunately, they never had that chance at a life together. And for the first time since Julia's death, Sirius felt he could finally move on in his life.
He and Remus had promised Lily and James they would take care of Harry. Sirius could still remember the day they first asked him to be Harry's godfather. Sirius smiled softly at the bittersweet memory.
Sirius sat at the kitchen table of his flat finishing off the last of his firewhiskey. He hadn't shaved in days, and as a result, had the beginnings of a beard on his once handsome face. His body was numb, but whether that was due to the alcohol or the depression, he wasn't sure.
It had been three months to the day since he found her and her family. The diamond ring he planned on giving her sat in its box right in front of him. The damned ring looked innocent enough, but in truth, it was mocking him. When the light shined on it just right, he could almost see her wearing it.
In his drunken haze, he seized the ring clumsily and threw it down the hall towards his bedroom. He hadn't slept there since that night... He heard a dull thumping noise, but paid it no mind as he tried to figure out how he was going to get more firewhiskey.
"You know, Padfoot," said a calm voice, "it's a sign you've got a problem when you start behaving violently to your friends."
"Go to hell, Remus," Sirius said hoarsely, without much conviction, as he stared at the brown bottle before him.
Remus sighed and sat across from his friend. "I know it hurts, Sirius, but you can't do this to yourself. She wouldn't want—"
"How do you know what she would have wanted?" Sirius muttered. "I don't even know what she wanted. Hell, I don't even know if she wanted to marry me."
"Of course she did," Remus said softly. "She wouldn't want you to lock yourself in your flat with nothing but Ogden's as company for the rest of your life."
"I wouldn't know. I never even got the chance to say goodbye to her," Sirius said miserably, finally looking up at his friend.
He looked dead in Remus' opinion. His eyes were bloodshot and rimmed in black and red—a mixture of lack of sleep, drinking, and crying. He probably hadn't eaten since two days previous when Remus and Peter came by and forced him to eat a few sandwiches. And it didn't look as if he'd showered since then, either.
"Why are you here?" Sirius asked hoarsely.
"Because you're my friend, and I don't want to see you kill yourself," Remus said matter-of-factly. "And James sent me," he added after a moment.
Sirius only nodded.
"Don't you want to know why James sent me?"
"Not really, but I suppose you're going to tell me anyway."
"You're right, I am. James Potter has sent me to tell you that his wife, one Mrs. Lily Potter has given birth to a healthy eight pound baby boy," Remus said with a smile.
"What? When?" Sirius asked in slight shock.
"About two hours ago. We tried Flooing you and sending owls. James even tried the two-way mirrors, but we couldn't get through," Remus said.
"A boy, huh? What's his name?"
"Harry James," Remus answered.
Again, Sirius nodded. "That's nice. Tell them I said congratulations."
"Oh, no," Remus said. "You can tell them yourself. You're going to shower, shave, and get all nice looking. Then I am taking your drunken arse to the hospital to see them."
"I can't, Remus," Sirius said.
"Why?"
"I don't want them to see me like this."
"Well, that's why you're taking a shower. You have an hour. And don't try to drown yourself, either," Remus said.
Sirius had no choice as Remus grabbed his arm and began to drag him to the bathroom.
An hour later, Sirius, looking comparatively better, walked beside Remus down the corridors of St. Mungo's. They entered the maternity ward and found Lily's room.
"Go on," Remus said quietly.
"You're not going?" Sirius asked.
"I've seen him. It's your turn," Remus answered, pushing Sirius through the door.
Lily was sitting up in her bed holding what looked like a blue bundle of blankets. James and Naomi sat on either side of her, beaming in pride.
"Hey, Sirius," James said when he spotted his best friend.
"Hey," Sirius said, watching Lily and sticking his hands in the pockets of his Muggle jeans.
"You can come over, you know," Lily said exhaustedly, but wearing a large smile.
Sirius nodded and moved further into the room.
"I'll, er, just wait outside with Remus and Peter," Naomi said, standing. As she moved past him, she squeezed Sirius' arm in comfort. Sirius tried to smile at her, but only succeeded in lifting a corner of his mouth.
"Have a seat, Padfoot. Meet my son," James said, wearing the widest smile Sirius had ever seen on him.
Sirius sat beside Lily on her right. The redhead tilted the bundle of blankets so Sirius could just see the small face protruding from them. The baby had a small tuft of black hair on the top of his pink head. His eyes were closed tightly, his hands loosely holding the blanket.
"You want to hold him?" Lily asked.
Sirius sat back in his chair slowly. "I, uh, I don't think so."
"Oh, come on, Sirius," James chuckled. "He won't bite. He hasn't even got teeth, yet."
Hesitantly, Sirius reached out and took the baby boy from his mother's arms.
"Watch the head," James instructed, looking over Lily to watch Sirius.
Sirius nodded and cradled the baby close to his chest. "Hey, kiddo," he said quietly. "He's so small," he added to Lily and James. "Hi, Harry. I'm your Uncle Padfoot."
Keeping his eyes on Harry, Sirius missed the look and nod Lily gave James. They seemed to have a silent conversation with facial expressions—something the Marauders had mastered in their day—that Lily ended up winning.
James cleared his throat. "Sirius?"
"Yeah?" Sirius said, not looking away from Harry's closed eyelids.
"Er, Lily and I were discussing it, and we, uh, we want you to be Harry's godfather," James said nervously.
At this, Sirius did look up. "What?" he muttered in disbelief.
"We want you to take care of our son should anything happen to us," Lily explained, reaching over to softly flatten Harry's hair.
"Me? But... what about Remus? I mean, he's the responsible one," Sirius said blankly.
"True," Lily said with a look to James. "But there's the issue of the Ministry and their stand against werewolves. They'd never allow it."
"Oh," Sirius said. "Forgot about that..."
"So... will you be Harry's godfather, Sirius?" James asked.
Sirius looked down at the baby in his arms and gave Harry the first true smile he'd shown in three months. "I would be honored, James," he said softly.
"Told you he'd say yes," Lily muttered, smacking James playfully on the shoulder.
"Is Naomi going to be his godmother?" Sirius asked, looking up at the new parents.
"Actually, no," Lily answered quietly and sadly. "I wanted Julia as the godmother. And we decided, and Naomi was all for it, that in her memory, we wouldn't give Harry a godmother."
"She'd like that," Sirius whispered, looking back at Harry.
Slowly, Harry opened his eyes. The newborn took hold of Sirius' finger that was gently massaging his hand. Harry's mouth curled into what was unmistakably a smile. Sirius felt his heart lighten immensely as he smiled back widely.
Remus stood in the center of his bedroom at Number Twelve debating on whether or not he should clean. He hadn't seen Sirius since he'd gone for his shower, and wondered if his friend had finally succeeded in drowning himself.
The knock on his door, however, answered his question in the negative. "Come in," Remus called.
"Hey," Sirius said, opening the door and leaning against the frame, his hands in his pockets.
"Hey," Remus said back. "You look like you're feeling better," he added, noting the smile on his friend's face.
Sirius nodded. "I am," he said. "You?"
Remus shrugged and sat on his bed. "I suppose. A little of the shock is still there, but all in all, I'm all right."
"Good. So, I thought we could go out and eat tonight. Maybe see one of those movie things on the big televizzies," Sirius said.
Remus chuckled. "And what brought this on?"
Sirius shrugged. "I don't know, I thought we could both use a boys' night out," he replied.
"Sounds good," Remus replied, nodding.
Ten minutes later, the two friends made their way out of Number Twelve. Before Apparating to town, Remus turned to Sirius. "And it's television, by the way," he said.
"Whatever," Sirius replied with a grin. "Race you!" he added before Disapparating with a pop.
Remus rolled his eyes. "Idiot," he muttered with a smile before following his friend.
