1Chapter Two: Settling In
The two American vampires sat in chairs outside of Master Hellsing's office. They tried to keep from laughing when they heard the shouting, but could only manage to keep it to small giggles.
Then a particularly profane series of insults ripped through the air. They had found the entire situation hilarious. Alucard was getting his butt throughly chewed for letting the two vampires come un-announced, as well as for letting them come at all. But that last string of words they wouldn't dare repeat sent them into complete hysterics.
Seras looked at them disdainfully. They both looked about her age, but she knew that both of them were older. But from the way they were acting you couldn't pick them apart in a crowd of normal teenagers. She smiled when she told them, "It'll be your turn next."
Lui glanced at her cooly, his eyes examining her. But she suddenly felt the hair stand on the back of her neck. There was a slight chill in the room, and she caught her breath quickening slightly. After a few moments, Lui told her, "Believe me, I've heard that before in so many different ways and in so many different languages it's beginning to lose it's threatening properties."
"Hey Lui, shut up, I can't hear what Alucard is saying."
It didn't matter much, because suddenly ten gunshots rang out, followed by the sound of something hitting the wall, and several profoundly insulting though not understandable phrases.
Not even Seras could help but giggling at this. Integra had actually shot Alucard! Not uncommon, but always a sign that she was truly angry, and not in the mood for any of Alucard's games. Which was unfortunate, because it was always about the time she got like that Alucard got the urge to play his games. Needless to say, he had been shot more times than Seras could count.
"NOW GET OUT OF MY SIGHT!"
Alucard quickly phased through the wall, holding hand to his forehead, then lowering it to reveal a small bullet hole. It was healing, but it probably hurt like heck. He smirked when he got outside, "She wants to see you two now. Seras, go and observe."
She looked up, shocked, "What? Why?"
"Do not question an order Police Girl."
She sighed and replied, "Yes Master."
Did she just call Alucard master?- Johnny asked Lui, shocked.
Ya, she did.-
Hey, Alucard has got good tastes don't he?-
I can read thoughts idiots. Now I wouldn't continue that train of thought, and get into the office before I wipe those grins off your faces- Seras told them, irritated.
Yes ma'am, we exist only to obey the whims of beautiful ladies like you. What do you say we get together tomorrow night? Cuddle up under the full moon...- Johnny asked, teasing her. He didn't expect a bullet to lodge itself in the back of his head. It didn't kill him, it would have taken a little more than that to finish him off, but it caused incredible pain.
Integra chuckled as the two vampires entered her office, one clutching the back of his head. They sat down in the chairs set out for them, then Seras entered, holstering her pistol.
Disregarding the guns, and the fact that only one of the people in the room was human, it looked incredibly like two trouble making students coming for punishment from the principal of the school. Indeed, the two looked the perfect part, as did Integra.
However, she pushed the thought from her mind. Then chuckled some more. Seras, who was normally a happy, get-along kind of person, had already shot one of them. Integra expected to be using all the ammo she had in the room on these two.
"So, you actually just walked up through the front gates, towards the front door, knowing full well where you were?"
The two nodded, considering the summary accurate.
Integra sighed and leaned back in her chair, making the pistol in her hand very evident, "You've got balls, I'll give you that."
Seras glared at them, saying, "You have no idea."
Both of them burst out laughing, desperately trying to control it, but failing. However, they stopped instantly when they heard Intergra's gun click into readiness.
"I'll let you work out whatever that comment was for later Seras. Now, I would like to know why you dared walk up the main path of the Hellsing Organization's headquarters.
Lui sighed, and Seras watched as it seemed that he aged a hundred years in a second. Nothing you could see, but she could sense it. And also, deep down in him there was something of Alucard to be found as well.
"Forgive our rather rude entrance Miss Hellsing. You see, during the long years of my existence I have tried to fight off my constant enemy of boredom in various ways. Pyrotechnics being one of the biggest."
Integra stared at him blankly. She understood all of the terminology, but she was as surprised as Seras at the sudden change in attitude.
Thinking she didn't understand, he clarified, "Basically, I like to blow stuff up. It's a hobby. Anyway, I ran into some problems a few days ago. When I put up ten foot high barbed wire fences, with more barbed wire in front, on top, a and behind it, plus bright yellow signs saying 'Danger, Keep Out' every ten feet, I expected people to keep out. Well, I was wrong, some idiots managed to sneak in. Make a long story short, I had to throw the explosives away to save them, and it managed to land right on our humble abode."
"Ya, you managed to level the place. With me in it I might add." Johnny said, earning a cold glare from his brother.
"Anyway, I was pretty desperate at that point. Our home is under reconstruction, but it will take a while. This time I made sure it would take a series of thermonuclear explosions to damage the place again, but that takes time to build. So, I looked for a place to stay, and decided I wanted to get out of America for a while. I sent a letter to Alucard, and thought that if it would be a problem someone would have contacted me."
Integra processed this. The story sounded impossible, but knowing vampires, this was one of the more likely things that could happen. She glanced at Seras, who was almost laughing at something, "So what do you think Seras?"
She turned to the master of her master, shrugging, "He's telling the truth as far as I can tell."
She glanced at the two brothers, who were staring bloody murder at each other. They were talking telepathically, she knew. And they were letting Seras listen in, and she was finding it quite interesting.
Integra cleared her throat, gaining the American vampire's attentions.
"I should order Alucard and Seras to kill you, but I think that would cause me greater headaches than I can afford right now. You can stay."
The two brothers glanced at each other, grinning.
"BUT, if I so much as here an explosion, gunshot, or rumor of anything or anyone going missing, I'll kill you both myself."
The grins disappeared quickly. They didn't need to read minds to tell she was very serious about that last threat. And they didn't doubt she could, and would, do it. They quickly got up, nodded their thanks, and left before she could change her mind.
Seras was about to follow, when Integra asked, "Seras?"
"Hmmm? What is it Sir Integra?"
"Do you think letting those two stay is a good idea?"
Shrugging, the blonde vampire told her, "I don't know..."
"Luis is an old friend Master. He will cause no trouble. Well, not too much trouble anyway."
Seras couldn't help the next remark from slipping, and she asked coldly,"You have friends Alucard?"
The young vampire clamped her mouth shut with her hand, not believing she had just said that. She expected anger to engulf her, and probably destroy her, but instead she heard laughter. Granted, it was Alucard's insane laugh, but it wasn't what she expected.
"Those two bring out the fire in you Seras. Defiance, and you even called me by name, wonderful. I think that I will enjoy these next few weeks."
Seras walked out of the office and down to the basement. She was surprised to see Lui standing there, as if waiting for her.
"What do you want?" She asked, expecting a smart response as soon as the words left her mouth.
"Hey, sorry about earlier. Me and Johnny didn't want to offend you or anything," He grinned, "We were just messing with you. You are very beautiful though."
Dumbstruck by this, the young vampire didn't know what to say. He seemed to switch personalities like switching gears on a car.
"Weren't expecting that were you? And no, I do not change personalities. I just know how to be myself in any particular situation. Just don't take me or my brother seriously. Feel free to get revenge though."
Seras felt a grin tug at the corners of her mouth, "Don't worry, I will."
"And don't expect me to act like this much." Lui told her, then reverting back to the American Teenager, "Cause it's so much more fun to be immature and wild. You don't really think 'Ice queen' Integra up there would throw us out do you?"
Seras broke out into laughter at the nickname. Oh, if the master of the Hellsing house heard that... "I wouldn't call her that. Yes, she would throw you out, but she would probably kill you first."
"Alright, a challenge. Lets see how much chaos I can instill before being shot in the head repeatedly by silver bullets!"
Seras had to laugh, "Out of curiosity, how old are you?"
"Let's just say I was made into a vampire back when we called you guys 'redcoats' and you called us 'rebels'".
Seras was stunned, "How do you manage to act so modern? Master can't even work the microwave..."
"Easy, I kept in the mainstream as much as possible. I was lucky to have been made when I was, because it was a time of new ideas and inventions, and I was naturally used to new things. So by keeping close to society, I just picked everything up I went along. Wait, Alucard can't use a microwave? How did he manage that?"
"It's a long story."
Seras chuckled as she thought of the brilliance behind her plan. She would exact her revenge on the American vampires one at a time, starting with Johnny, since he hadn't apologized yet, and was younger. It would start tonight, and it would be both cruel and unusual.
She gave a low laugh similar to one of Alucard's as she took the shaving cream and razor out of her pocket. Walter had hastily prepared a room for their guests in the basement, complete with the mechanical coffin. She snuck in, raised the lid of the coffin, and began her work.
"WHAT THE HELL!"
Lui, startled by the sudden noise immediately, albeit accidentally phased through the coffin. He rushed through the wall to his brother's room.
Alucard was there as well, also wondering what was the cause behind the loud disturbance.
And Johnny stood, in his jeans from the day before, breathing heavily and his body shaking in anger. Seras rushed into the room through the door, a mischievously satisfied smile on her face.
The vampires, except for Johnny, burst out laughing. Even Alucard, who actually had to hold his stomach.
The American's head was completely devoid of hair, including his eyebrows. He looked...
"HAHAHAHAHA! I never knew your head was so bumpy bro!"
"I'm glad there isn't much light, or we'd be blinded by the glare!" Alucard joked, joining Lui on another strong fit of laughing.
Johnny spotted the look on Seras's face, and solemnly pointed his finger, rage and hatred dripping from his voice, "You."
Seras stopped laughing, then got to her feet. Giving one last chuckle, she took off from the room.
"GET BACK HERE!"
The two older vampires laughed harder, then Lui managed to say, "Shall we watch Alucard? I think this won't end well for either of them."
"Lui, I wish we could get something to prove this happened."
Lui's face dawned with realization, then he quickly phased to his room and back, holding a fairly large item in his hand.
"What's that?"
"This, my technologically incompetent friend, is a digital video camera. It takes photographs to."
Alucard patted his friend on the should, "You are a genius. Come on, I don't want to miss another second of this!"
And so the two American visitors settled into the Hellsing Mansion. And Seras's reign of practical joke terror had begun. The war had begun.
Alright, chapter two is up! Can I get a ho-ha! Come on guys, please rate the fic, as I'm taking time out of my generally boring and unexciting life to write it!
