1Chapter Three: Revenge for Revenge (Does that even make sense?)

Integra wasn't happy. Why wasn't Integra happy? Integra wasn't happy because a certain pair of vampires had literally tore her home apart in their silly games.

Seras sat in one chair, looking satisfied albeit slightly disheveled. Her grin reminded Integra somewhat of Alucard's when he managed to really freak her out.

In the other chair sat Johnny, who Integra had to fight off laughter at. His, head, was, completely, bald. He was furious, and was ready to explode at any moment.

And unknown to any of them, camera in hand, stood Lui, capturing everything on tape.

"So let me get this strait... You started teasing Seras with your thoughts, which she heard. And then for payback she..." Integra didn't even try to keep from laughing, "...Completely, shaved your head. Is that about right?"

They nodded.

Integra sighed and rested her forehead on her hands. She was furious, but at the same time highly amused. Finally she told them, "Go, I don't have time for this. But be warned, if anything like this happens again, the consequences will be...painful."

Lui was disappointed. No Integra rage to be found. Then he remembered that Seras was supposed to come after him next. He grinned. This was going to be fun. And he was going to drag Alucard into it if it killed him!

"Muahahahaha..."

Alucard chuckled again as he remembered the bald vampire.

That was cruel Seras. Funny, but cruel-

Hey, you can't expect someone to actually ask me to 'cuddle up under the full moon' and have me do nothing about it do you? I take that kind of thing personally-

Here's something you'll really love Police Girl-

What?-

Luis got the whole thing on... tape?- Alucard told her, trying to place the last word.

You mean he recorded the entire thing?-

The chase part anyway. I'm surprised Integra didn't do anything to you though-

I think she found it rather amusing-

Seras crept around the basement silently. She was tired, considering it was noon. She figured Luis would be asleep by now. In fact, she was sure of it. She had decided to take it easy on Lui, since he did apologize. She was going to simply wake him up. She knew how much it irritated Alucard (She had done it to him several times upon various people's requests), and felt sure it would irritate Luiwell.

As she entered the room, the first thing she noticed was that besides the coffin, it was totally bare. That was odd. And another thing, the coffin wasn't even mechanical. It was an expensive looking, though funeral appropriate, full fledged coffin.

She smiled. That would make this easier in a way. She snuck over, and slid the lid open quietly.

"BOO!"

Seras screamed, jumping into the air, whirling. But before she could do anything she felt hands grab her and shove her, none to gently, into the coffin. The lid slid into place, and then she heard clicks as locks were locked into place.

Lui sat on the coffin, patting his hand on it, "Nice try Seras, but I'm not going to be that easy."

She pounded the inside of the coffin, which while cushioned and not all that uncomfortable, was cramped. And she felt very embarrassed for being tricked like that, "Let me out of here!"

Lui laughed as a sinister thought came to mind, "No Seras, I don't think so."

He picked up the coffin, and his video camera floated behind him, recording.

He walked up the basement stairs, into the dazzling sunlight. He squinted, then shrugged it off. Sunlight wouldn't kill him, but it wasn't comfortable either. He whistled while he walked to his destination, and Seras still struggled in the coffin.

Because the way he was carrying the coffin vertically over his shoulder, she was upside down!

Lui then heard a familiar voice behind him, "What on Earth?"

Lui turned, to see a very shocked butler. He wore a monocle, and everything from his clothes to his hair was proper and butlerish.

"Walter! It's been a while. I can't believe we haven't run into each other until now! Remember back in WWII?"

Walter nodded slowly, a grin crossing his face from those wild, youthful days. Then he shook his head, and asked, confusion spreading across his face, "Why are you carrying around your coffin?"

"Walter?" A muffled voice asked from inside the coffin, then more thumping noises as Seras made futile attempts to escape, "Walter, get me out of here!"

"Master Thomson, are you carrying Miss Victoria around in a coffin at twelve thirty in the afternoon?"

"Yep."

Walter sighed and removed his monocle, cleaning it with a piece of clothe, "Oh dear, I do believe I have seen everything now."

"Walter! Get me out of here!"

Lui shook the coffin once, just to provoke her more. Then he continued whistling 'Yankee Doodle' as he made his way to the laundry room.

When he got there, he set the washer to it's highest setting, and put the timer four an hour. He shook the coffin once more, "Are you comfortable in there Seras?" He asked teasingly.

"Why?" Came her irritated voice through the coffin.

"Cause it's going to be a bumpy ride!"

He set the coffin, lid down, on top the washing machine, then flipped it on. Immediately it started to vibrate, and would 'thump' with a jerk every few seconds. Lui got a piece of paper and a pen, wrote, 'do not enter' on it, then taped it to the outside of the door. He locked the door from the inside, closed it, and then walked over to Seras.

"I'll be back at sunset cutie."

He phased through the floor as her voice rose to a shrill screech, shouting profanities that no decent lady would ever say.

Lui watched as Alucard carefully approached the coffin. It was dead silent, and they didn't know whether or not that was a good sign or not.

He had convinced the no-life king to come with him and open the coffin, while he would video it. Alucard had agreed eagerly at first, but was suddenly beginning to have second thoughts. Then he pushed the thoughts away. Was he afraid of his own fledgling? No!

He carefully eased the coffin over, then undid the locks. Suddenly it burst open, and with roar that scared even Alucard, Seras dived onto her master, trying to maul him.

Was Alucard, the no-life king, afraid of his own fledgling? Yes, very.

He tried to phase away, but there was no escape as Seras threw him into the wall, then commenced pummeling him.

Lui giggled, and then Seras stopped, leaving her master's limp body, then slowly turning to Lui. When he saw the rage in her eyes, all could say was, "Oh, crap."

Integra nearly cried from laughter when she saw the two elder vampires walk into her office. They both looked extremely traumatized. Alucard's face was blank, distant. His normal insane grin was replaced by a look of dumbstruck horror.

Lui was worse. He was trembling, and would jump at non-existent noises. Both vampire's clothes were torn and ripped, and there were what looked like claw marks on their faces.

"Ok, what happened?"

Neither said a word, but when a more calm Seras entered they both yelped and phased from the room. Integra actually fell out of her seat from laughing so hard. She managed to say to Seras, who still looked incredibly mad, "You have single handedly scared the Hell out of Alucard, and his friend Lui. Tell me your secret Seras, please. I mean, you just drove two powerful Nosferatu from the room by just walking in."

"Get mad Sir Integra. Just get really, really mad."

"What did they do to you?"

Seras began to recount the tale, smiling when Integra had to leave the room to go and laugh it out somewhere else.

Alucard knocked on his fledgling's door, carefully asking, "Police Girl, are you sane again?"

Hephased through the door, to find Seras staring at him, "You actually, knocked, Alucard."

"You get mauled for no apparent reason and see how you feel. I'm going to get you for that Police Girl."

"Is that a threat?"

"Yes, it most certainly is."

Both knew that he could brake her in half if he wanted to. He had been extremely scared when she attacked him with all the strength and rage of a werewolf, but if had wanted to he could have killed her.

But both also knew he wouldn't do that. It would make things to boring for him.

"Then bring it on Alucard." then Seras glared at him, saying, "Now get out before I claw you apart. Again."