1Chapter Five: When You Start the War, Fight it with Arrows, Spears, and Swords?

Integra paced back and forth in front of the line of vampires. Now she was mad. Alucard had destroyed valuable documents, as well as an antique desk, not to mention all the damage caused in other parts of the Mansion. She knew in a deep, lost part of her mind it was partly her fault, but it didn't change her thinking.

"Alright Alucard, tell me your version of this." She asked, curious as to what he would say.

The mighty vampire lord had a satisfied, victorious look on his face. He had ever since he had blew the mower up. He explained to her, "The thing was possessed."

"Possessed." Integra repeated, earning a nod from her servant.

"It was possessed, and I defeated it."

Walter entered the main hall, looking extremely peeved. He was carrying an fuel container, "Possessed Alucard? I think not. You used this to refuel it didn't you?"

"Yes. Why?"

"Alucard, this is a concentrated form of gasoline. We use it in our armored vehicles. IT SHOULD NOT HAVE BEEN USED IN MY LAWN MOWER!"

Seras blinked. That must have been the first time she had heard Walter yell.

Alucard knew full well the lawn mower wasn't possessed. He knew his infamous bad luck with modern machines had kicked in. But he wasn't going to take criticism from Walter, "Shut up! It smelled the same! And it looked the same! How was I supposed to know there are two types of... 'Gasoline'?"

Walter was about to reply, but then stopped. Alucard had a point.

"Regardless, I have decided something." Integra said, starting to pace again, then pointing at the two American vampires, "You two started this problem. But Seras and Alucard, you two are as much to blame as them. Your little 'pranks' were funny the first time. The second time," Integra had to stifle a laugh as she remembered Alucard and Lui standing in her office, traumatized, "The second time doesn't count. But the little ironing board trip and now this? Now the humor has worn thin. I am now ordering that you all stay in the basement. Meals will be brought to you by Walter. If I so much as think that something is wrong, I execute all of you on the spot. Understood?"

The vampires nodded glumly.

"Well? GET DOWN TO THE BASEMENT!"

The vampires made their way downstairs, grumbling. Walter began to walk off as well, but Integra stopped him. He looked at her, "Sir Integra?"

"Walter, don't you have something to attend to?" She asked mischievously.

"What do you mean? Did I forget something Madam?"

"No, but you know. Don't you have some incredibly loud and annoying repairs to be done on the mansion."

Walter got it, then smiled as well. Bowing, he said, "I'll get right on it Madam."

"Oh, and Walter."

"Yes?"

"Drag it out, and don't give them a moments peace."

"Certainly Madam. I have just the thing in mind."

"I'll be back in a few days." Integra said, heading to her room to pack.

"Where will you be going Madam?"

"A hotel. Be sure that I can hear you from there Walter."

"As you wish Sir Integra. I have been waiting for this chance for a long time..."

Two days, and two nights. That's how long they had been down in the catacombs. And so far, none of them had slept at all.

Because Walter had conveniently started repairing the damage done by Alucard and his 'Lawnmower of Doom'. And he did it non-stop, round the clock. And seemed to never actually get anything done.

Lui sat on his coffin. The remainder of his personal affects had arrived the day before, and while he was grateful, they did little to keep his mind off the constant noise. He went over to his electric guitar, took it off the stand, and turned on his amps all the way up. He started playing a random song. However, not even this could drown out the noise.

There was a knock on the door. He walked over and opened it, to see a very tired Seras.

Can I come in?-

Sure, I could use some company-

They were using telepathy cause there was no possible way they were going to carry on a conversation over the racket above them.

Seras looked around. Lui's room had changed. He had speakers, a stereo, a small tv and a PS2. And a desk with several schematic drawings on it.

The older vampire began to play again, turning down the amps when he saw Seras's expression. She already had a headache, she didn't need a bigger one.

She sat down on a chair he had in the room, enjoying the song.

That's really good. What's the name of the song?-

Thanks, but you wouldn't believe me if I told you the name-

Try me, I'm sure I've heard weirder things-

When you start the war, fight it with arrows, spears, and swords?-

What?-

That's the name of the song-

Are you sure?-

Ya. It's off some cartoon I think. But ya, that's the name. You even have to say it like that, it's a question-

Seras sighed and leaned back in her chair as Walter gave a whole new meaning to the term noise above them. He seemed to get louder in response to Lui playing, making it so that even if he turned everything all the way up, you couldn't hear it. He looked angrily at the ceiling. He wasn't going to put up with much more of this. No, Walter was going to find out how he and Alucard felt when they let Seras out of the coffin.

Finally, as the noise seemed to reach climax, Lui stormed out the room, shoving his door open.

Down the hall Alucard did the same thing. Johnny followed soon after. Seras, mentally knowing what the others were thinking, told them all telepathically.

Alright, I know Walter is a good guy, but this has got to stop!-

Walter wasn't even looking at the machine anymore. He was simply letting it run. He didn't hear down the hall when the door to the basement was forced off it's hinges by four highly irritated vampires. He didn't notice as they stormed through the house towards him. In fact, he only noticed when Seras unplugged his current psychological, noise making weapon.

He turned, surprised, to see Johnny preparing himself to strike, "Oh, you are going to so get it now Alfred!"

The butler was suddenly struck by a classic American Left Hook, and fell to the floor, unconscious.

Integra stepped out of her car, and frowned. She heard no noise. Had Walter finished that quickly? She looked, and the outer wall was repaired. She shrugged, maybe he could have done the repairs in the short amount of time.

Then she entered the house, and found that Walter had not finished the repairs. In fact, he hadn't even done half. This was very odd, the man was a venerable machine when it came to things like this. She walked slowly, and then heard a muffled noise from the main entrance. When she entered, she saw something that made her jaw drop.

Walter had been bound and gagged, and had been wrapped up in an American flag. The flag dangled from the ceiling by a rope. And though Walter was struggling, the most he could do was make himself sway slightly.

And on the wall, written in black spray paint, were the words:

"In the name of God, all those who make to much frickin' noise while certain vampires are trying to sleep will be hung up from the ceiling until we feel like taking them down. Amen."

Hey guys, I'll give a cookie to whoever can tell me where that song came from. Yes, it is actually a song. Keep the reviews coming.