Can We Get A Pet?
Chapter 5
Nagi stalked to the park, slowly relaxing. He needed more time away from the apartment, but then the other two would get into trouble most likely. His only consolation was that Crawford would be back in the next day or two, and then they'd have to get rid of all the animals. Granted, he'd be a bit sad to see Swift go, but she just couldn't be kept in the apartment. And it would be a huge pain to get the rabbit away from Farf. He really loved the little thing, for some odd reason. Farf didn't care about anything that breathed before, including himself at times, so that fact that he carried a rabbit around the house to cuddle with was mind-boggling.
Nagi's head started to hurt, so he decided to stop thinking about Farf caring about anything. He reached the park, happy to get away from them. Immediately, he saw a couple of girls running over to say hi. They were the same ones he saw there everyday with their own dogs. It annoyed him that he couldn't get peace even here, but at least they complimented him instead of insulted him. Okay, so there was a plus side to owning the dog.
While he watched Swift running inside a large dog run at the park, Nagi started thinking. Schu had gotten a parrot from a girl. A very intelligent bird, at that. He'd seen something on TV once where they were doing intelligence tests on African Grey Parrots. They had remarkable memories, and could identify objects, colors, and shapes. Like a dolphin, only the bird could talk. This was kind of neat in that he could see first hand how smart one actually was. On the other hand, it was a bird, and they couldn't keep it. Even if he'd liked it, he'd tell them to get rid of it.
And a cat. Farf had brought home a stray cat. Its fur was all matted and dirty, it was probably covered in fleas and mites, and it most likely carried all sorts of diseases. It would need a bath, and shots, and that would be a hassle. Not to mention be expensive. Farf could just take care of it, because he wasn't going anywhere near that mangy cat. Maybe he could sneak it out behind Farf's back and say it ran when he'd opened the door. But of all the animals they'd brought home, that was the one he wanted to get rid of the most.
Swift trotted over, ready to go home, panting happily. She'd outdistanced the other dogs she'd been racing with, but had gotten tired a lot faster. Borzoi were fast and energetic, but had a low stamina. Nagi snapped the leash onto her collar and left, actually waving to the girls and surprising himself. He walked Swift home, saying hello to their neighbors, and took her off the leash before opening the door to the apartment.
She walked in next to him, and stopped, staring. The cat was sitting in the chair in the living room that Farf had claimed. It watched them, the tip of its tail twitching. Swift let out a soft growl, and lunged forward. The cat jumped to the back of the chair as the puppy jumped onto the cushion, barking and trying to snap at it. The cat hissed and swiped at the dog's nose. With a yelp, Swift jumped back and ran to hide behind Nagi. On the other side of the room, the parrot squawked, and said something that sounded suspiciously like a very rude remark in English.
Farf came in from the kitchen. "What's going on?"
"Farf, get rid of that cat! First off, the dog and the cat will not get along. Second, it scratched Swift!" Nagi knelt down, carefully holding Swift by the collar to look at her bleeding nose. "Poor girl."
"Hey, she made the first move. So don't blame Ashes." Farf picked up the large grey cat that was watching Swift intently. He went back to the kitchen with the smug-looking feline.
Nagi sighed and led Swift into the bathroom to gently clean the blood off her nose with a damp washcloth. "You poor girl, Swift. Let's get you into the crate, huh? I'll tell Farf to lock that thing in his room when I feed you later, okay?"
Meanwhile, Farf set the cat down on the counter in the kitchen. He opened a can of tuna fish for her, and rubbed her back as she ate. "Good girl, Ashes." He was proud of her for proving him right and standing up to a dog more than twice her size. And he was proud of himself for giving her a bath. She must have been recently abandoned, as she was just dirty, and only had a few fleas on her. She was now clean and happy.
"What was all that noise a minute ago?" Schuldig was leaning against the doorframe.
"Ashes just showed Swift who was boss."
Schu gave a start. "You mean that the cat took on the dog and won?"
"Cat scratched the dog, the dog cowered behind Nagi."
"Who?"
"Never mind," muttered Farf. "Oh, and I take it the bird was kept in the bedroom at its last home?"
"Yeah, how did you know?"
"The lewd comments it's been making all afternoon."
Schu grinned. He then turned and went out to talk to Sasha the bilingual parrot. Maybe teach her German as well as Japanese and English.
Later, Nagi let Swift out of his room to eat. He'd done some shopping after school, so they had something for dinner. He fed the dog, and put the frozen pizza in the oven. While it was cooking, he curled up on the couch to read for literature class. Swift followed and curled up on the floor in front of him.
After a couple minutes, Farf opened his door and peeked out. Seeing Swift, he frowned, and decided to play with Alice in his room. Ashes slipped out unnoticed, though. The cat stalked out to the living room and jumped onto the couch. Swift watched her without lifting her head from her paws, having learned that cats hurt your nose if you play with them. Nagi jumped when he felt the cat sniffing at his elbow, having not noticed her before. "Get away from me, cat."
"Mrrrow." Ashes pawed at his arm for a second, then decided to curl up on the book on his lap.
"Get off me!"
The cat just purred, cleaned her face, and then tucked her paws under her chest and curled her tail around her side and closed her eyes.
Sasha chose that moment to voice her opinion. Or actually, repeat something her previous owner had said to one of her nighttime partners. Nagi blushed at that explicit comment. "Shut up, bird!" He shook his head and muttered to himself. "That's just wrong..." He was really starting to wish that Crawford would be home soon. They needed to get rid of these animals!
The oven timer went off, and Nagi tried to chase Ashes off his lap unsuccessfully. With a another of his increasingly frequent sighs, he finally shoved the cat off. She landed on the floor easily on her toes with an indignant growl. Nagi ignored her and went to the kitchen to pull the pizza out. He put two slices on his plate, sat at the table, and started eating while continuing to read.
Farf came out of his room again. "Pizza." He sat down and grabbed a slice. "Have you seen Ashes?" he asked around a bite. "She's not in my room."
"It decided to use my book as a pillow."
"Ah." He looked around. "Where's Swift?"
"She's in the living room," Nagi said, finally realizing she hadn't followed him into the kitchen. That was odd. She would follow him anywhere if he let her. "I wonder why she didn't follow me...?"
They both got up and went out to have a look. Swift was still laying in front of the couch, looking up at them pleadingly, as if asking them to get the cat off of her. Ashes had indeed made the dog into her new pillow. With the cuts on her nose still stinging, Swift wasn't about to argue with Ashes.
Sasha cocked her head to the side. "Let's play! Let's play!" The bird then imitated some other noises that made Nagi blush again. Farf just stared at the bird.
"Maybe we should have Schu move her to his room."
"Please, do," muttered Nagi, stalking back into the kitchen to finish his pizza.
Farf shrugged, and put a sheet over the birdcage to keep her quiet before following Nagi and grabbing two more slices. "Schu's out again, by the way."
Nagi stopped chewing and stared at him. He swallowed. "Why should I care?"
Shrugging again, Farf finished off one slice and started on the other. "Just thought you'd like to know."
"He can do what he wants. He is supposed to be the responsible one when Crawford's gone. Like that ever happens..."
Farf snorted and nearly choked on his pizza. "Don't joke like that when I'm eating!"
"Well, do you know where he is?"
"Out?" he replied hesitantly.
Nagi rolled his eyes. "Farf... Where did he go when he went out?"
"Um... He didn't say..."
Dropping his head, Nagi groaned. "This can't be good."
Nagi ended up shoving the cat off Swift so the dog could move, then went to his room to finish his homework before getting online for the night. He assumed Farf was in his room because the door was closed. Ashes had made herself comfortable on the back of the couch, Sasha was quiet for once, and Alice was in Farf's room. It was nice and quiet, which Nagi realized would be a rare occurrence with the growing number of pets those two idiots brought home.
He jumped when he heard a loud crash in the kitchen. Swift looked up from where she was on his bed. "What was that?" he muttered to himself. He left the computer to check it out.
As he reached the kitchen, something black scurried across the floor and hid under the stove, closely followed by a grey streak that ran headfirst into the stove. Ashes shook her head, then reached a paw under the stove, trying to bat at Fingers. The rat was cornered and hissing a bit at the cat. Swift gave a low growl from beside Nagi, but this time didn't charge the cat.
Nagi grabbed her collar, and considered letting that cat have her way with the rat, but knew that wouldn't go over well with Schuldig. He pulled Swift back to his room, then went out and grabbed the cat from behind, and held her out at arms length to carry her back to Farf's room. He kicked at the door, as he couldn't knock while holding an angry cat, but got no answer. Shoving the door open with his foot, he saw that Alice was in her cage and Farf was missing. Nagi dropped the cat on the bed, and left, shutting the door to keep her in.
Great. Not only had Schu left, but now Farf had snuck out behind his back. This couldn't be good at all. Grumbling to himself, he went back out to the kitchen to try and get Fingers from under the stove. The rat refused to budge, though, and just sat under the stove, cleaning his whiskers. How had he gotten out, anyway? Not even sure what to try to lure the rat out with, he went to Schu's room to figure out how the rat escaped, and to see if Maus was still in the cage or had also gotten loose.
Maus was still in the cage, but the top had been popped open. Not that it even had a good closure on it. It looked like Fingers might have opened it himself. He closed the cage, and headed back to his room.
Halfway there, he heard the front door open quietly, as if someone was trying to hide the fact that they were sneaking back in. "I know it's you, Farf. Where did you go, and how many people did you maim, mutilate, or kill? You had better not be on the news again tonight."
There was a pause, then Farf shuffled down the hall, a bag in one hand, trying not to look guilty. "I only killed one person, and I sunk the body in the bay."
"Okay, I can let that slip. Now what's in the bag?"
Farf tried to hide the bag behind him, but Nagi had already seen it. "Nothing important."
"Farf..."
"Nothing!"
"Farfarello, if it was nothing, you wouldn't hide it! So spill it!"
Farf, pouted and let Nagi look in the bag.
"What is that...?" Nagi's eyes widened and he stepped back.
"A vine snake. It was on sale, and I liked it. I'll keep it in my room, so you don't have to deal with it, and it's too small to go after the other animals."
"Farf, Crawford said no more pets!"
"No, he said that for Schuldig, not for me! So I can get as many as I want." Farf stuck his tongue out at Nagi and proceeded to his room.
Shaking his head, Nagi went back to his own room. How many pets could they get in one day? As he was going for his room again when the door opened a second time, and without any attempts to hide his entrance, Schu waltzed in with a box in his hands.
"Hey Farf! Come see what I got!"
Not wanting to deal with it, Nagi ran to his room, calling, "Farf, tell Schuldig one of his rats figured out how to open the cage! I can't catch it!" He slammed the door behind him.
Farf got up from where he was sitting on the floor staring at the new snake eating a cricket and went out to see why Schu was so excited. "One of your rats found out how to get out on his own. He's loose in the house. Now, what did you get?" He watched Schu, just knowing that it was going to be something edible or another pet to annoy Nagi.
The German reached into the box and pulled something out. In his hand was a tarantula. A very large, hairy tarantula.
His eye widening, Farf drew back. "Get that thing away from me...!"
Schu blinked. Not the reaction he was expecting. "I thought you didn't mind the idea when I suggested it the other day."
"I didn't think you'd actually get one!"
Curious now, Schu probed Farf's mind. "Does Brad know you have mild arachnophobia?"
"... no."
"Why not?"
"I'm not supposed to fear anything!"
"But you're afraid of spiders. See?" He held the tarantula out again, and Farf stepped back, hissing. "I bet you're also afraid of people knowing your fears."
"Just shut up." Farf turned and stormed back to his room.
Grinning, Schu carried the arachnid to his room and set a small tank for it on his desk next to the rat cage, then went out to the kitchen to find Fingers. This was going to be fun.
A note to my dear friends the readers. Gweee! Chapter five! And still no end in sight. I feel evil. I gave poor Farf a phobia. The Berserker is afraid of spiders. Crawford shows up again next chapter. Wow. You mean, he's actually in this story for more than five minutes? Yes, he is! Will this stop the parade of pets? Not very likely, at this point. Why? Just because it's too much fun. I can't help it. Torturing bishi guys is a favorite pass time of mine. And for a lot of you as well. Are we all agreed it's an addiction?
Well, I think I'll take this time to talk a bit about my own pets. I've mentioned that I'd like a couple of the animals that Schu and Farf are, um, collecting... But I have a few pets already, and have had quite a number over my life. I'd like to introduce you to them, just fer the heck of it. I currently have four pets: a cat named Moe, a large albino rabbit named Schmendrick the Little White Magician, and two fish, a betta named Shiden and a comet goldfish named Dart the Second.
Moe is a small tabby cat, whose sisters and brother were named Eenie Meenie and Miney. He's the runt of the litter, and both front paws are double pawed (have an extra thumb, which is supposed to be good luck.) The little guy has a Napoleon complex and has been known to beat up larger cats and chase dogs out of the yard. Much like Ashes, except she's bigger.
Schmen is bigger than the cat, so really, don't let the name fool you. He ain't little. He's pure white with red eyes, and is always hungry. Fortunately, I've been able to train him to back up if he wants a treat when I feed him. He's a big cutey who loves getting his nose rubbed. As much as I wanted to get the rabbit Alice is based on, I already have one that's four times its size.
Shiden is a lavender betta. Really, that means he's red with a purple or blue iridescence. He's a little attention hog who loves having his tank next to my laptop. His name means Purple Lightning or Sword Flash in Japanese. And Dart is a small goldfish whose tank needs to be a little bigger. Once I have money, I'll upgrade that for him. Funny thing about him: I used to have a goldfish named Dart who died last year, and my friend Cat said she had a goldfish for me a few weeks ago, named Dart. Well, when I went to pick him up, she admitted that the first fish she had gotten for me didn't make it, so she had gone back to get me another. So for both of us, his name was Dart the Second.
As for my previous pets, I've had two other cats, about fifty mice (I bred them), a gerbil, an evil hamster, several betas, and some various other fish. I've come to the conclusion that I'm one of those people who can't live unless surrounded by animals, which makes living in the dorm at college hard, as we can only have fish. Of course, not everyone listens, and the gerbil and mouse have gotten away with being kept, but I don't think a rat will really go unnoticed. And the last pet I want I can never have unfortunately, despite the fact he comes with a collar (and a very large set of knives).
And thank you to my reviewers!
xKokurox – Alice was so cute, too. And yes, this Alice is very lucky. I too would love to switch places with her. I mean, I have a thing for odd colored eyes, pale hair, pale complexion, scars, psychos... Excuse me while I get a tissue to wipe the drool from my laptop... Heh, Cats rule. They really do. Moe is in charge at my house.
MalletWielderofDoom – Schu? Be responsible? Yeah, right. But nonetheless, he seems to be in charge of the minor and the deranged one when Crawford is gone. Oh, Crawford's gonna be mad, al right. Glasses will get all glow-y-like and look very evil. A monkey? I'll have to think of where Farf could find a monkey...
fluffy-sama's worshiper – I'm glad it's so funny! I excel at comedy, even though I'm a depressed college student, for some odd reason. Maybe I'm trying to cheer myself up and just happen to amuse others while I'm at it. Enjoy!
Arileo – It's both. And then some. Poor Nagi.
ShadowCrow25 – Ooh, ooh! I'll buy them I'll buy them! I want a stubborn, crazed telepath and a mad Irish berserker! Please, Mommy, please can I buy them:)
Swift is a sweetheart. And I'm sure that Nagi would sell her to you if he could. As much as he loves her, he knows she needs a better home. Though the cats would definitely disapprove of it. I know his Royal Pain in the Heinieness wouldn't. Hmm. He got the tuna can the day I got your review. Interesting. And yes, it does just get better! Thank you!
Wherdatcomfrom – Hee. Iguanas. No names for the anoles, snake or tarantula, but everything else has them. Currently, the rocks have slipped Schu and Farf's minds. But not mine. They will be mentioned again. Eventually.
