1Chapter Nine: The Real War Recommences!
Seras stood by Lui's door. She had been for a while now. He hadn't been out in four days, and the Mansion seemed so boring without him around messing with things. Johnny refused to do anything until his brother was up and about.
"You standing there isn't going to make him heal faster Police Girl."
She turned to see her master striding down the hall. She asked him, "I know, but still..."
"You did very well for your first mission as a Nosferatu."
"Ya, sure. I nearly get killed two bloody times in a span of ten seconds, and I can only say that I'm still here because of him." She shuddered as she remembered the smiling FREAK looking down at her, "And a lot of other stuff to."
Alucard didn't pry into that last statement. He already had an inkling as to what she meant. But he shrugged, saying, "You called out to me Police Girl. Not the other way around."
Her eyes shot up. She had called out to Alucard! She had started the telepathic link without even thinking about it! "Wait, but how did I?"
"Some things don't have to be learned. They just come to you naturally. I must admit though, I think the fact you were about to die sped up the process a bit."
Seras tried to call out again, but for some reason couldn't. Alucard watched her do this, then explained, "It comes and goes Seras. Your powers come and go when you first get them."
She sighed and looked at Alucard. He was grinning at her futile attempts of communication. He was enjoying it. Then the thought that had plagued her came out of her mouth, "Will he be ok? I mean, he hasn't even left his room since we got back..."
"You try doing a push-up with half a building on your back and tell me how much you can move afterwards."
Seras whirled, surprised. Lui was standing there, looking like the perfect American teenager, complete with silver/black sunglasses. He was grinning, and held up a camera, "I think that was a show of affection cutie."
She flushed and punched him in the arm, but this got a much louder cry of pain than she had expected, "What's wrong with you?"
"Jeez, just cause I can walk doesn't mean you can start to hit me! I can'tmove for three days and now she hits me when I finally can..." Then Lui flinched as a memory came back to him. They were carrying him out of the factory to one of the transports, when Alucard asked 'can you walk?'. Lui had nodded his head, saying, 'Ya.'. Needless to say he fell flat on his face when his legs gave out, and his arms proved to weak to stop his fall, 'No'.
Alucard laughed, and Lui stared daggers at him, "Laugh at my pain! Ya, go ahead! Laugh! Some friend you are Alucard!"
Alucard walked away, chuckling. Then Seras looked back to Lui, who though he wore sunglasses Seras could tell was looking at her. And smiling. Darn it, she hated it when he smiled like that, "About that favor you owe me."
Seras's hair stood up on the back of her neck. She had a feeling she wasn't going to like this, "What about it?"
"You've lived here in England a long time right?"
Seras nodded, not getting where this was going.
"Alright then, come on. Your going to give me a guided tour of this stupid city."
"What? Why would you want to do that? And I mean, aren't you injured."
Lui shrugged, "As long as we don't have to break out in a dead run and you stop hitting me I think I'll be fine. But you sound almost disappointed."
"Well, it's just..."
Lui lowered his sunglasses so he could look at her with his blood red eyes, "Or you could kiss me again." He said, then continued when she saw her face begin to blush, "Soft and slow. Then perhaps we could retire to my room for the day..."
Seras pointed to the stairs and said, "Walk, before I get a stick and beat you to death with it."
He laughed, as if he found the prospect extremely intriguing, but then started to walk. He sighed, mumbling, "Can't blame a guy for trying."
Walter saw Seras and Lui emerge from the basement and smiled, "Miss Victoria, Master Thomson."
"Walter, It's Lui."
"Right, Lui. Anyway, how are you feeling?"
"Sore, and in pain, but up for a little trip." Lui said, stretching his arms to try and loosen up the joints that refused to move, but only serving to hurt himself.
"Where are you two going pray tell?"
"I'm going to give Lui a tour of the city."
"Splendid! Perhaps I should come as well. I know this old town like the back of my hand."
Lui blinked, "You want to help us throw eggs and tomatoes at the Queen's house?"
Walter stepped back shocked, "What? I am not letting you leave this house if that is your intent!"
Seras sighed and waved Walter away, "I won't let him do anything Walter. Just let us go and get this over with."
And with that the two vampires walked by the butler, who would have questioned them further, but had other things on his mind. Like how to get back at that other blasted American for not only nearly drowning him in soapy water, but also destroying his washing machine. He knew 'Johnny' was responsible because he heard someone with a very much American accent that was different from Lui's laughing at him. Walter smiled as he thought about what he was going to do.
Lui looked up at the moon and took a deep breath. He loved this time of the month, when the moon was only a slender crescent, a small smile in the heavens.
"That over there is Buckingham Palace." Seras commented absently, pointing to the grand building in the distance. Then she noticed Liu wasn't listening, "Hey, I have better things to do you know."
"I'm sure you do, but I don't." the American told her, laughing.
"You're annoying, you know that?"
"And?"
"And? What do you mean 'and'? I'm wasting my night giving some one who really doesn't care a tour of England. Why did you even want to do this anyway?"
"I've never been here. Believe me, way back when, we had all sorts of ideas of what England was like. Most of it was a bit to insulting for me to repeat now. But one thing that was agreed upon by all of us was that we hated British accents. I'm still not to found of it now."
"Why is that?" Seras asked, trying not to hit him.
"Because you only heard them for three reasons. One, you were a Tory and officially exiled yourself from American society. Two, the city you lived in had been captured. Or three, a British officer was yelling out the words you never wanted to hear." He changed his voice, becoming a perfect British accent as he told her, "Make ready. Take aim. Fire."
Lui drifted off, troubled by his memories. Seras didn't know what to tell him, so she tried to change the subject, "So, is there any particular place you wanted to go?"
"Not really. I have a question though."
"What?"
"Why did you kiss me?"
Seras stopped dead in her tracks, blushing, "I..."
"I'm not complaining or anything, but I just want to know."
"Well, you saved me from the FREAKS, then you were nearly killing yourself to save me. You seemed so ready to die for me... But don't plan on it happening again."
Lui laughed, "I know. I like you, and I think you like me. But that's better for friendships than for romances. Hold on, did you say that was Buckingham palace back there?"
Seras was caught off guard by the question, "Yes, what does that have to do-"
"That's where the Queen lives right?"
"Yes, but why does that matter?"
"Where's the nearest grocery store? I have the sudden urge for scrambled eggs."
Seras laughed, shaking her head.
"Ha! I got you to laugh! Victory is mine!" Lui cried, trying to jump into the air, but was only able to push himself about an inch off the ground, and fell in a heap.
"Come on egg boy, I think we should go back to the mansion now."
"But I was serious. I want to throw eggs at the Queen's house. It's been on my things to do list since I got here."
Seras pulled him to his feet and pushed in down the street, "Move it Lui."
Walter strode down the hallway, very satisfied with something. Johnny didn't like it. The old man seemed too satisfied. That could only mean one thing.
"Hey Alfred, sorry to break it to you, but your little attempts at revenge won't wor-"
The vampire suddenly tripped over something, sending him sprawling onto the floor, hard. But someone (wonder who?)had waxed the floor to perfection, and he slid down the hall. He tried to stop, but this seemed to make him pick up more speed. He saw that a ramp had been built at the end of the hall, leading strait out a window. Johnny renewed his efforts to stop, but failed.
He slip up the ramp, and out the window. Which unfortunately for him happened to be two stories up. And he couldn't control himself enough to land in any controlled way. His landing could be described as... Well, two words: Back Buster.
He lay there, unable to move. Integra laughed from the bushes. Walter had an inner-child alright. An evil inner-child. Sadistically evil.
Seras and Lui saw what happened and walked over to Integra, who shut the camera off, "Did someone just throw my brother out of a window?"
"Something like that, yes." Integra replied.
"Give them my thanks. I've been wanting to do that for a couple years now."
Johnny, finally able to speak again, yelled, "Screw you Lui!"
Integra motioned to Lui and Seras, then they began to walk inside. Lui glanced at the women on either side of him, when an extremely stupid idea came to mind.
He reached up as if stretching, then put an arm around each of the women's shoulders, saying, "The perfect end to a perfect evening. Ah, life is good."
Integra and Seras glanced at each other, not needing to read minds to know what to do. They both elbowed Lui in the stomach as hard as they could, provoking a gasp of agony, then they let him fall to the ground. So, the two vampires from America got to lay around outside for a few a long time, while they recovered from their pain.
"British women are way too touchy." Lui finally said, getting up, then helping his brother to his feet. Together, they limped into the mansion, and made their way to the basement.
"I am a genius."
Alucard laughed again as he carried his box of desctruction to it's target. It was amazing what stuff you could find by shifting through someone else's room. It took his nose only a few seconds to identify what these were. But he had to read the directions to figure out how to work them. In actuallity, it was very simple. And nothing mechanical to break or mess up.
Johnny scratched his head as he looked at his stuff. He thought a minute, then walked out into the hallway, "Hey bro, have you seen my firecrackers?"
"I have them." Alucard yelled to him.
"What? Why?"
"Get Seras and Luis. I have a plan."
Integra sighed as she walked into her room. It had been a long day, and very hard. She would need thicker glasses soon if she wasn't careful. Oh, she just wanted to go to sleep and have a nice dream for a change. She slipped into her bed-clothes, then eased herself under the sheets of her bed. She just wanted to float away...
Unfortunately, Alucard had other ideas. He whispered in a voice to low for his master to hear, "This is for shooting me in the head master."
He waited a few minutes till he was sure that Integra was asleep, then gently snapped his fingers. He sniggered as a satisfying hiss filled the room for a few seconds, but then it went quiet again.
Suddenly the bed was covered in small explosions and loud cracks and pops filled the room as the tiny things of gunpowder exploded all over the room. However, most were inside Integra's mattress, and hidden in various places around her bed. She woke up screaming, and grabbed her gun. You couldn't distinguish the noise of the gunfire over the firecrackers though. Alucard faded away before he started laughing and stopped recording on his camera.
Lui, putting two and two together, walked into Alucard's room, saying, "I'll be darned, the Fourth of July came early this year."
Then the two vampires burst out laughing, as Integra tried to keep from having a heart attack. She wasn't happy at all. She was going to slip Alucard some nitroglycerin in his blood packets. She was going to... She was to tired for this. She embarked on a quest to find another bed, wrapping her sheets around herself. Finally, finding nothing else, she fell onto the couch in the library, and drifted off to sleep again.
Lui saw his chance to really get back at her now. So he phased silently into the room, his guitar and the biggest amp he had in his hands. Plugging the amp in as quiet as possible, he turned the volume all the way up and prepared himself for what he was about to do.
He took a deep breath, and screamed as loud as he possibly could, "ALL ABOARD!"
And he emmediatly started playing the Ozzy Osbourne song 'Crazy Train' on his guitar. However, after about playing for ten seconds, he pulled the plug on the amp, gathering it up, then phased back to his room as a bullet grazed his head. He laughed as he and Alucard met back up. Johnny was in the room, smiling.
Alucard phased him into the library, and then ran away. Integra looked haggard, and very angry. However, she didn't have time to shoot as he grabbed the sheets, and pulled her back out into the hall. He then pulled them away from her entirely, and the force of this caused her to slip on the floor (Where did this wax come from!). He laughed and ran away.
Integra decided something at that moment, as she staggered to her feet. She hated vampires even more than before. Then she slipped, and then a thought occured to her. She was going to just sleep on the floor, cold and uncomfortable. She actually managed this for a few minutes, until she felt cold liquid around her. She opened her eyes to see Seras, who had thrown a bucket of water towards her. It didn't reach her, but a puddle was forming. Beside Seras stood Alucard. Both held large water guns.
Integra looked down the hall the other way, and there stood Lui and Johnny, who also held waterguns.
"What is the meaning of this!" She demanded, managing to get to her feet. Then all of the vampires promptly hosed her down. So there she stood, as laughter echoed around her, cold, wet, tired, and angry. She cursed vampires, and then slipped on the wax again.
Then she heard Lui yell, "We figured you looked thirsty Intgra 'Ice Queen' Hellsing!"
The vampires all met back in Lui's room. He set the camera up, and then walked back to the group. They were all laughing.
"Hey, it's us at the Hellsing Manor! It's late, and Integra has just been the victim of the 'Vampire Blitz'! For this special we have to think the No-Life king himself, Alucard, my brother Johnny for providing the firecrackers and wax, me for my musical wake up call, and finally the ever lovely Seras who figured out the Coup de'gra! For us to remember later, the vampires of Hellsing, out!"
Hehehehe... I've been waiting for this chapter a long time...
