1Chapter Eleven: God Bless Pranking 101
Lui snickered as he snuck into Alucard's room. The ancient vampire was out, and probably wouldn't wake up unless Seras and Integra both came in and began to beat him with sticks. Hmmm... That had possibilities...
Then he went back to his work. He eased the coffin lid up, and slipped some headphones onto the elder vampire's head. He started playing a song, and had the cd player loop it so it played the same thing over and over again. Lui was glad he had payed attention in class once. It was actually quite an experience for him to go to school, since he knew more than the teachers did, especially about American History...
Then he had to stifle a laugh as he realized what he was doing. It was a common tactic to listen to a recording of information over and over again as you slept, so that you would subconsciously know it when you woke up. Lui was counting on this, and if he was right...
That evening, Alucard got dressed and phased into the kitchen. Lui, Seras, and Walter were playing a card game, and Johnny was no where to be seen.
Lui glanced over at him, and seemed to be listening. Then he smiled.
Alucard didn't realize he was humming. It was almost like a reflex, you have no idea your doing it until someone points it out to you. Seras and Walter were staring at him, the game forgotten. Lui pulled out his camera and moved closer.
Then under his breath Alucard began to sing, "I'm a Barbie girl, in a Barbie world... Made from plastic, it's fantastic..."
The room fell dead silent as he spoke the words. He froze, just realizing what he had just said, praying to God no one had heard him. Unfortunately, everyone heard him, and Lui was close enough that the camera recorded it loud and clear.
None of them had ever seen Alucard blush. They didn't think it was possible. But when they all burst out laughing, Alucard's face turned a red so deep it matched his hat. He instantly teleported away.
Two days. Johnny had been in a state of constant unease and panic for two days. Lui kept throwing evil glances and demonic cackles his way. He was going to go insane. He was going to completely lose his mind. He was going to 'gasp' turn into Alucard!
Then Johnny saw an extremely red Alucard walk by his door. He blinked, then realized that something had made Alucard blush. Johnny's jaw hit the floor, then he muttered, "I have now seen everything."
Seras was holding onto Walter to keep from falling over into the floor. Lui was literally rolling. Walter couldn't stop laughing. Had Alucard really just sang that?
"What's so funny?" Integra asked as she walked into the kitchen. Lui played back the recording for her. She stared at it in shock, then replayed it again. A smile crept across her lips, then it turned into a giggle. Soon she was leaning against the wall, laughing so hard she was crying. Then an evil thought occurred to her, "Walter, let's go to the toy store. I'm never going to let him live this one down..."
Alucard rose to his feet as someone knocked on the door, desperately trying to stop humming the infernal song, but it was firmly stuck in his mind. How had it got there? Where had he heard that bloody song at all?
He opened the door, and picked up a small package. Unwrapping it, it showed a small doll, with clothes that looked like his. And attached to it was a note saying 'Alucard Barbie'.
He tossed it away and shot it repeatedly with his Jackal and Cassul. He kept pulling the triggers, even after it was nothing but a molten puddle of goo. He was trembling. What had possessed him? What demon had placed that infernal song into his brain?
Alucard stayed in his room for an undeterminable amount of time, contemplating killing himself, just to stop the song from playing in his mind. But then it faded away, and he felt brave enough to go out again.
"Hey, Barbie boy comes out of his lair."
Lui felt six bullets fly by his head before Alucard slammed the door to his room shut again. Chuckling, Lui hoped Alucard realized that Lui was never going to stop pushing that particular nerve. But then the thought of Alucard singing put him on another train of thought. He smiled and knocked on Alucard's door. The elder vampire stuck his arm and head through the door, pointing his large pistol at Lui's head, "What do you want?"
"If you ever want me to stop calling you 'Barbie boy', you are going to come to my room."
Alucard slowly put away his pistol and phased into Lui's room after him. The younger vampire was sorting through some cds, and putting them into his multi-cd stereo changer. He looked down at Lui and asked, "What do you want."
"Listen."
A guitar began to play over the speakers, and then a drum joined in. The guitar went into a strong riff, then a voice began to sing the lyrics. Enter Sandman.
Alucard listened, and had to admit this wasn't bad. Then he looked at Lui, who kept glancing back and forth from Alucard, to the stereo, then back to Alucard. He stopped the song, then told Alucard,
"See how he was singing?" Alucard nodded, "Sing like that."
"What? You can't be serious."
"Very serious. Do you want to listen to it again?"
"Sure..." Alucard sighed.
After listening to the song a few times the whole way through, he began to test his voice, trying to make it sound as much like the singer as possible.
"Ready?"
Alucard shrugged, "Ready as I'll ever be."
Lui turned off the stereo and hooked up his guitar, and threw a microphone to the older vampire, "Sing into that, it'll make you sound louder."
Alucard sighed again as Lui began to play the song from the stereo. Alucard caught his foot tapping to the beat, then he began to sing. He wasn't trying at first, so he didn't sound very good. But after several impatient glances from Lui, and listening to him play, his blood began to flow faster. He started to get into and give it some effort. His deep voice was different from that of the other singer, but Lui found himself jamming to it better than any Metallica concert he had been to.
Then he switched another cd, "Let's take it to the next level. Rob Zombie! It's Dragula time!"
Seras walked slowly towards the music. She had heard it vaguely before, but that wasn't what was drawing her to it. There was something else familiar about it.
When she walked to Lui's room, she found the door open, and a sight she never thought she'd see.
Lui was on one side of the room, playing his guitar, and Alucard was on the other, singing. And the weird part was, it sounded really good!
Then they stopped, and Lui smiled, "Hey cutie, you play an instrument?"
"What? No, why-"
He shoved a large guitar into her hands, saying, "We need a base player."
She shrugged, saying, "Well, I actually did play when I was fifteen. It was the popular thing to do at school."
She began to strum the strings slowly, trying to remember. Her fingers protested the movements at first, but soon she felt it returning. Lui plugged it into an amp, and listened. As she played a song, he picked up the tune and began to play with her. After a little while they stopped, and Lui clapped his hands, "That was actually really good. How long did you play?"
"God, I don't know... Two years? I stopped before my senior year."
Lui whistled, "That's impressive. You've got a lot of natural talent Seras. Hmmm... Now that I think about it, I have a proposition for you. Let's make a band!"
The two other vampires stared at him.
"Come on! It'll be fun! We can make a cd and everything! I have guitar, Seras has base, my brother is good at drums, and Alucard has the vocals down! As long as we don't play anything other than metal we'll be good."
The two considered, then seeing the hopeful look in Lui's eyes, they agreed, "Alright. But what do we call ourselves?"
"Vampires of Hellsing?" Alucard suggested, saying the first thing that came to mind.
Lui pointed at him, "That sounds good. Let me go get my brother, and I'll ask Walter if there is a better place to practice than in the dungeon here..."
Lui opened the door of the basement, only to have a bucket full of water fall on his head. He sighed, and walked on. He should have seen that coming.
Then he heard a galloping coming down the hall at him. He looked, and there was Integra, riding one of the horses from before, crashing towards him like a freight train. She held a long wooden staff like a lance, and was riding down on him.
"Oh crap!"
Lui began to run the opposite direction as 'Sir' Integra tried to live up to her title. He nearly broke down the front door in his hurry to get out. Walter rode the other horse, videoing it all.
After what seemed like ten minutes, Lui stopped. He wasn't going to retreat another step. If Integra wanted to play knight, fine. They were going to play knight. Besides, she was trying to hit him with a stick, how bad could it hurt?
He had just turned around when it caught his square in the chest, knocking him a few feet back and lifting him completely off the ground. He couldn't breath. He felt his ribs crack. His only sign of life was the slight twitching.
"In the name of God, impure souls of the undead shall be banished into eternal damnation. Amen." Integra said, smirking at the fallen vampire, "Oh, I should have done that to Alucard years ago..."
Alright guys, chapter eleven! Ya! For those of you who are wondering what happened with Alucard, if you ever got your cd player to play the same song over and over, then fell asleep listening to it, you know what I was getting at (You can't stop singing it!). And as for the actual song... Hehehe... My little cousin provides so much inspiration...
And Omega Z, thanks for pointing that out. Just try and keep and mind that when I'm writing these it's normally 11o' clock- 1 in the morning, and half my blood consists of caffeine. So like, I know I'm making technical mistakes, and sorry if it detracts, but stay with me. I'll revise everything when I'm done.
Oh, and Hyami-Masaki get's a cookie for being the first to guess the song. Hyami, your cookie is in the mail. However, I was too cheap to pay for overnight shipping, and I have no idea where you live, so if you find a package with what appears to be a rock in it, rest assured it used to be your cookie.
Professor Curly, out.
