Never Say Never

Chapter29

Randy and Lorelei caught up with the Raw crew on Tuesday. Lorelei was honestly going out of her way to avoid Paul at all costs. She hoped that maybe he had went to St. Louis to find her and not be at the house show. She needed more time to sort out the thoughts that Randy had brought to the front of her mind.

Part of her wanted to file the papers, but the other part wasn't ready to move on. There was also a nagging feeling that she was falling for Randy, but she wasn't sure. She was still married to Paul who was supposed to be one of Randy's best friends. Whatever she chose wasn't she knew that this wasn't going to be something easy.

Unfortunately for her, Paul was going out of his way to find her. She hadn't been in the locker room alone for more than five minutes before there was a knock on the door. She debated not opening it, but the knocking wouldn't go away. She didn't want to open the door, but the knocking was driving her nuts.

"Lorelei, we need to talk," Paul said.

"Why? You weren't interested in talking when I was leaving; you haven't been interested in talking for almost a month," Lorelei said.

"I've spent the last week looking for you," Paul said.

"You must not have been looking very hard," Lorelei said. "All except the all the last three days I've been with Mike."

"Lorelei, I love yo more than anything except my baby," Paul said. "Steph's moved out . She'll be in NYC like she was before."

"So what, Paul? Is everything supposed to be okay now?" Lorelei asked. "Because it isn't."

"I don't expect everything to be okay right away, but slowly things will settle down," Paul said.

"And then you'll go and do something stupid again. Paul, have you ever thought that maybe we weren't meant to be," Lorelei asked.

"I love you to much for us not to be destined," Paul said. "I would rather die than live without you."

"I'm sure Stephanie will be glad to fill my shoes. Paul, I do love you, but what if loving you isn't enough? Relationships also take trust and commitment. I don't trust you and obviously you aren't committed to us."

"That's a load of bullshit. I want us to be more than almost anything in my life," Paul said. "Besides, you said it yourself you left."

"I left because I was tired of feeling like an outsider in my own home. I felt like you cared more about Stephanie than you did me," Lorelei told him. "And you proved it."

"I'm sorry that right now her well being effects my child, which is a little girl by the way. If it weren't for her I wouldn't want anything to do with Stephanie," Paul said.

"Good for you, but how is that supposed to make me feel any better? Paul, I can't wait around for the other shoe to drop. Waiting for you to do something stupid, or for Stephanie or your daughter to need you. You'd leave and I'd worry about it more," Lorelei said.

She saw Randy walk into the room and only hoped the two men could hold their tempers. She wouldn't be able to do anything to stop them if they began to fight. "What the hell are you doing here?" Randy asked.

"I wanted to see my wife," Paul said

"The one I've spent three days holding when she was crying. The one you watched walk out the door. Mike had to call me because there was nothing he could do to help her," Randy said. "You've caused her more heartache than anything."

"Randy, please let me talk to him alone for a few minutes," Lorelei requested.

"Fine, if you need anything let me know, and remember what I said," Randy told her.

"Why did you go to him?" Paul asked.

"Your just jealous. If I were with Mike, Jay, or most of my other friends you wouldn't have anything to worry about. Since I was with a man who is good looking and available you are instantly threatened. I think your paranoia is going to be the end of you," Lorelei said.

"So you have been in Orton's bed," Paul accused.

"What the blue hell are you talking about?" Lorelei asked not sure whether or not Randy had something to do with planting that idea in his head.

"You fucked Orton. I don't even know why I fucking tried," Paul said.

"I'm still trying to make sense of the fact that you think Randy and I slept together, though the idea did cross my mind," Lorelei said.

"You mean you weren't sleeping in his bed when I called yesterday?" Paul asked.

"I was, but in a completely innocent way. Randy stayed on the sofa while I stayed in his room since I'm sure you've seen the trashpit he calls an office," Lorelei said. "I can't believe that you of all people would think that I was sleeping with someone else. I'm not some common whore."

"Lorelei, I never said you where a whore. You're putting words in my mouth. I just made an assumption most men in my position would have made," Paul said.

"You were the unfaithful one not me. Paul, you fucked up and now your trying to blame it on me. At first the thought of living without you was mind blowing, but with every word that comes out of your mouth it seems easier and easier," Lorelei said "You didn't have a good reason for me to stay before, and if you do now I'm not sure I want to hear it."

"So the fact that I love you and the fact that you love me doesn't mean anything," Paul said.

"Again, love isn't anything without trust," Lorelei said. "You obviously don't trust me since you automatically thought I was sleeping with Randy, and I can't trust you."

"You promised to stick with me," Paul said.

"And you promised to be faithful to me, but that didn't happen," Lorelei said. "Stephanie's giving you your first child. Nothing I can do will compare to that."

"Lorelei, just loving me is more than Stephanie ever gave me," Paul said.

"Stop, I don't even want to think about what your going to say next because you won't even be able to prove the eloquent, beautiful words that will undoubtedly come out. Your talk is cheap," Lorelei said.

"And your talk is so much more," Paul said. "When you gave me another chance it was like the sun was shining down on me. I finally thought someone was looking over me."

"I'm not the one on trial here, but when you broke my heart again I felt the exact opposite. I felt like everything was falling down around me and there was not a damned thing I can do about it. I felt like there was nothing going for me," Lorelei said. "You were the person I revolved around. I would have done anything humanly possible to make you happy, and you rip my heart out. You fooled me twice. I won't let you fool me again."

"What do I have to do to prove you're my everything?" Paul asked.

"You can't. I can't let you do it again. You have to leave," Lorelei said.

"No you don't. You want me to pull something absolutely amazing out of my ass so that you can come back," Paul said.

"Paul, leave. I want you to stay away from me," Lorelei said.

"And if I don't?" Paul asked.

"I'll have to ask Randy or Dave to make you leave me alone," Lorelei said. "I don't want anyone to get hurt, but you need to respect my wishes."

"Fine, but I can promise I'll be back," Paul said leaving the room.

Lorelei couldn't hold it back anymore. She started crying. She wished she didn't have to be so strong right now. She honestly wished Paul would hold, but she wasn't going to put herself on the line again. No matter how hard she tried she'd never be able to change him so she should just give that hope up.

She didn't know how long she was crying, but at some point she felt Randy's arms wrap around her and hold her until she stopped. She felt strangely comfortable.

"You planted the idea of us sleeping together in his head," Lorelei said.

"Sorry, he was pissing me off. Yesterday I wasn't thinking before I said anything," Randy said. "And we did almost sleep together when we were drunk the other night, but your stomach had perfect timing."

"I almost remember that," Lorelei said. "It's really fuzzy. Thank you for listening and holding me while I was crying again. Any woman would be lucky to have a man like you."

"There's only one woman I want, but I'm willing to wait for her," Randy said.

"I'm not sure I'll ever be able to put this in the past," Lorelei said.

"Honey, it's all about baby steps. Today you refused to melt like putty in his hands. Tomorrow who knows. Eventually you'll be ready to close this chapter of your life and begin a new one," Randy said. "Your heart will eventually stop hurting and you'll stop thinking about him constantly. All good things take time."

"You shouldn't waste your time on me. I'm not worth loving. I'll only make you do stupid things," Lorelei said. "I don't deserve anything like you."

"That's where you're wrong, but you've got a few people who want to see you," Randy said.

"I know. I knew Ric and Dave would want to see me sometime," Lorelei said.

It was easier to play hostess this time they were in her locker room rather that the last. For whatever reason something was calming her down and she thought it might be Randy.