1Chapter Twelve: Rock On
Integra was rarely ever at a loss for words. But when Lui had gathered up the other vampires (Once his ribs put themselves back into place of course), and then proposed their band idea...
She was at a loss for words. No profanities, no insults, definitely no 'it's a good idea's. She just sat there, cigar hanging in her mouth, not even lit yet. And thus, a silence continued for a good two minutes, until everyone not breathing in the room was very uncomfortable.
"Lui... I've been understanding so far haven't I?"
"Uh... I guess."
"I've let you have your little prank war, destroy much of my home, and you even got me to participate."
"Uh-huh."
"Now, care to explain to me why on earth I should LET YOU FORM A BAND!"
Lui shrugged, and suggested, "Because you like me so much?"
He had never been hit in the head with an ashtray before. But after the heavy object connected with his skull, he knew instantly 'The square root of two is 1.12343534235...'. Then his mind put things in order, and he found himself on the floor, holding his head. He then knew that he never wanted to give Integra any sarcastic suggestions again.
"Lui, no. I'm afraid I can't allow this one. We can't have you four making a racket while the soldiers, and I, are trying to sleep."
"Yet you let us kill each other while desperately trying to get a few laughs in each night?"
Lui cringed when Integra picked up some other object to fling at him, but she didn't. She just set her new weapon down, and said, "That doesn't cause much noise that we can hear. At least, those of us who want to sleep can get some sleep while you have your fun. But a band, honestly Lui, what purpose would that serve?"
"How 'bout this, we make a deal." Lui told her, getting to his feet, "Listen to us once. And if you don't like it, fine. We forget the entire thing."
"Fine. I'll listen to your screeching."
Lui smiled at the insult, "And how about we make a bet out of it?"
"What sort of bet?"
"If we lose, well, think of something you've wanted to do to me for a while."
"And if you win?"
Lui grinned mischievously, "If I win you have to wear nothing but dresses for an entire week. 'Sir' Integra."
Integra's eyebrow twitched, then she smiled, "You are going to regret this Lui. Your on."
Somehow the soldiers caught wind of the bet, and some had come out to see what would happen. Lui and Johnny set up the amps, instruments and stuff, while Alucard watched Seras practice playing. Integra merely stood by, smoking a cigar, thinking of horrible tortures to put Lui through.
Then it occurred to Lui how screwed he was. He looked over to Seras, who while was pretty good, probably didn't know any of the songs they were going to play. This called for drastic action.
"Seras." He said, getting her attention. She noted the uncomfortable smile on his face, "Do you know how to play any Rob Zombie songs?"
She shook her head.
"Marilyn Manson?" No "Ozzy Osborne?" No. Lui was almost begging her now, "Metallica?"
Seras realized what he was getting at, "Oh God."
Lui nearly fell down crying. He was so dead. His mind raced quickly for a song that she could learn in about ten minutes. Then one came to him, "Alucard, come here!"
The red clad vampire walked up, and asked, "What?"
"Listen."
Lui concentrated a moment, then they heard a song play around them. No speakers, no stereo to speak of, it was as if the music was coming from the air. It sounded just as good as any radio or stereo system the other vampires had heard.
"Alright Seras, hear the base?"
"Ya."
"Good, it just repeats that for a while. It goes like this." He showed her how to play it. Then he proceeded to outline the song, and got Alucard to memorize the words. This was going to be close.
After a few times through, Seras had it down pretty good. She felt confident enough.
Then they heard Integra's voice, "Stop delaying and get on with it. I have better things to do."
Lui nodded, then they walked over to the instruments. Seras on one side, Johnny in the middle and to the back at the drums, Lui on the other, and in front of Johnny was Alucard.
"Alright guys, Devil's Dance. You may want to start praying," Lui glanced at the now demonically smiling Integra, "Cause I sure am. Count it up bro."
After giving them a count to start, Seras and Johnny emmediatly went into action. A few seconds after they started, Lui began to play his part. They kept up the pattern for a while, then Lui let a single note ring out. He entered the main riff of the song, and prayed to God Integra liked it. Then Alucard began to sing the lyrics of the song.
The soldiers were shocked to hear the vampires, because they sounded good. Granted, sometimes there were mistakes, but the ones who could pick them out weren't actually listening to the song at all. And besides, they were all captivated by one question.
Was Alucard singing?
And indeed he was, and singing very well. They would have never thought. As the song continued the soldiers really got into it. Even Walter, who had come to see what the noise was about, caught himself nodding to the beat.
Only Integra stood motionless. She held her thoughts away, and never actually listened to the song at all. She was going to enjoy causing pain to Lui.
As the song ended, Alucard gave off one of his signature laughs, then the band went silent. The soldiers were whistling and cheering. They liked.
Then Integra told them with a sadistic grin, "Nice try Lui, but I'm not giving up my precious few hours of sleep to listen to that. No band."
However, the soldiers objected to this decision. They all advanced, yelling about how she was unfair and that she was just trying to ruin everyone's fun.
"I DO NOT HAVE TO ANSWER TO MY OWN SOLDIERS!" She yelled, but this silenced them only for a moment.
Walter walked up behind her, and put a hand on her shoulder, "Sir Integra, I'm afraid that you won't win this particular argument. I must say though, I found the music, though not my normal taste, quite agreeable. Why is it you don't want them to play?"
Integra sighed and yelled to Lui, "Fine, you have a band." Then she mumbled to Walter, "Stupid vampire bets... Start washing those old dresses Walter, it's going to be a long week."
The next night, Integra hesitantly stepped out of her room and began to walk to her old office (The original one had finally been repaired). She wore a comfortable white dress with a loose, matching shirt.
Suddenly a flash of light made her blink, then another. Lui stood there, taking pictures, yelling out things such as "Ah ya, give me depressed, sad. Oh now, angry, ya you're angry, you want to hit something. Yes yes! I'm loving it! Loving it! Come on Integra, give it feeling!"
He took pictures in rapid succession, while Seras held a video camera and handed the American new rolls of film when he ran out, storing the old ones safely in her pockets. She watched as Integra took out a gun and shot at Lui, who yelled, "Yes! Hold that pose! Angry, barbaric, yet at the same time sophisticated! It's beautiful!" He began to laugh insanely, almost like a mad scientist in old movies, "HAHAHA! I should have been a photographer!"
Then Integra shot him, square in the forehead, forcing the two vampires to retreat, Lui still laughing but holding his head in pain.
And so the week passed. Seven days, and every morning it was the same routine. Lui would wait for her to come out of her room, then bombard her with pictures. He was enjoying this too much for her tastes. Yet... It did feel rather nostalgic to be wearing dresses again.
"You look quite the proper lady Sir Integra." Walter commented one day.
But she was glad to be rid of the entire ordeal. When she slipped back into her old suit, she sighed in relief. When she walked to her office, no pictures. Were taken of her. She settled into her chair, and actually smiled to be doing paperwork.
Then she noticed Lui counting a large sum of money in the corner, and she asked him irritably, "What is all that?"
"Oh, I sold the pictures of you in the various dresses to your soldiers. They were willing to pay quite handsomely."
"You American dog..." Integra told him, between gritted teeth. Then she smiled and told him, "Oh yes, Anne Rice is suing you for copyright infringements. And Lestat called, he wants you back in his band now Lui."
"Ha, very funny Integra." He said, smiling back, "But lately I'm the one who's been wearing the pants in this relationship no?"
"Idiot."
"Ice queen."
"Swine."
"Cross-dresser."
"You little..." She choked out, and began to rapidly shoot at him. But he had already dissapeared into the wall, laughing.
Johnny was a total wreck. He hadn't slept in days, and had drank little. His brother's face haunted him, smiling, hinting at a coming doom. Ever since Lui had begun to give him those infernal looks, he had slowly begun to lose his sanity. He couldn't take it anymore. When his brother walked by, he ran to him, went down on his knees, and begged, "Please bro, just do it already! I can't take it anymore! I'm dying, I can't eat, I can't sleep, I'm afraid to come out of my room, just do whatever it is you are going to do and get it over with."
"Your talking about all of these looks I'm giving you aren't you?" Lui asked cooly.
Johnny nodded, and pleaded some more.
Lui smiled like Alucard and made as if to snap his fingers. Johnny tensed his body in preparation to receive whatever was coming.
Then Lui shrugged, and walked on saying, "Never mind. I got nothing. It was fun watching you squirm for a while though. I'm glad I watched that thing on the Military channel about psychological warfare."
Johnny was speechless. He could tell his brother was telling the truth. He felt a burden lifted, but also embarrassment and a lot of anger. He stood up, and yelled, "YOU PUNK! ALL THAT AND YOU DON'T EVEN DO ANYTHING?"
Lui nodded, yawning, "Yep. Get some sleep man, you look horrible."
Johnny thought about mauling his brother then and there, but lacked the strength. Instead he simply went into his room, closed the door, and collapsed on his coffin.
Alucard contemplated his blood packet, thinking about how to drink it. He smiled as he watched the red liquid flow back and forth in the plastic bag. He shook it up a little.
Lui ran down the hallway as fast as he could. He had no idea what was going to happen, but he suspected something was about to explode. He made it pretty far down the hall, but still the force of the blast blew the door to Alucard's room off the hinges, and knocked him down. He felt like he was back in WWII.
Seras had set herself securely, so wasn't moved by the blast much, and she laughed triumphantly. Alucard stumbled out of his room, limping and coughing.
"How did that taste Alucard?" Seras yelled to him.
"Police Girl, what was that?" He screamed at her, his facing beginning to reform.
"It's a new type of blood Master. It's about half human blood, and about half a liquid called nitroglycerin."
Lui looked up at her, stunned, "Wait, you just got me to go in and hand him a packet of nitro!"
"I told you be careful with it didn't I? That's for feeding me paint!"
Alright, Chapter twelve. Rock on. It really sucks not being able to post Lyrics of songs anymore...
So come on, I still could use some help with the pranks. And reviews, keep em' coming!
