1Chapter Eighteen: Grand Finale Part 2 (Just Random Odds and Ends)

Kyle had often wondered how stupid Lui was. Well, stupid wasn't the right word. The younger vampire was smart, one of the most intelligent people Kyle knew (Though he rarely showed it). However, he had been known to do extremely stupid things for money. Enterprising. That was the word. Kyle had often wondered how enterprising Lui was.

And Kyle saw no better time to test this than now. Besides, the sun hadn't quite set (It was hidden behind thick clouds, but the vampires could still feel it's burning touch), and that could mess with Lui's judgement further. Alucard stood by Johnny, who was filming the proceedings. They walked up behind Lui, and Kyle said,

"Hey Lui."

"What is it?" Lui asked, looking up from whatever activity he was doing.

"I'll give you three million dollars to go stick your tongue on the power transformer."

"The transformer?"

"Yep."

"Like those round things on power lines?"

"Uh huh."

"HOW STUPID DO YOU THINK I AM!" Lui yelled at him, then said calmly, "Twenty."

"Deal."

And now Lui had climbed the power lines. Did he need twenty million dollars? No. But hey, it was twenty million freaking dollars. And he knew Kyle could pay it. No American vampire worth the blood in his veins was less than a multi-millionaire.

Closing his eyes and saying a short prayer, Lui stuck his tongue to the cool metal. Everyone below waited in anticipation for what would happen.

Which was surprisingly, nothing.

Kyle and the others almost scoffed at the lack of entertainment. That wasn't how it was supposed to happen at all!

Lui sighed in relief, and moved his hand to get a better grip on the pole. Sadly this put his hand on the other transformer, which completed the circuit. He felt angry electricity rip through his body like a hot, jagged knife. And he couldn't pull away. Until his body was shot away from the pole, the energy finally overloading the circuits.

Kyle was laughing his head off. Alucard merely shook his head.

"Ah ta uck as at! O y od at urt orse an en I ot y angs ulled!" Lui yelled, holding his mouth. He couldn't feel most of his body, and his tongue was pretty much shot. Darn him and his American spirit for making money.

They were lucky they only caused a brief loss of power in the surrounding area.

Lui comforted himself later when his various bank accounts registered a total increase of twenty million dollars. Money well earned, if he said so himself.

Integra couldn't help it. When Lui phased into her office, whistling with a self satisfied look on his face, she had to ask, "What did you do and how much damage did it cause?"

"I just made twenty million dollars."

Integra's mouth fell. What, "How did you manage that?"

Lui beamed in pride, "I stuck my tongue on a power transformer."

Integra had to laugh at the sight of Lui looking like he had just beat the entire world while bragging about sticking his tongue on a power transformer.

"I take it that was what the power outage was. Is this the kind of thing you do in your spare time in America?"

"Sometimes. Hey, I got Johnny to tie strings to his fangs, tie them off, then jump off a roof once. I had to pay him a few million dollars, but it was well worth it."

Alucard phased into the room, and Lui giggled slightly. As he walked away, he told them, "You two behave now."

Integra looked at Alucard confused. He looked after Lui, confused. Then he realized that Lui must have heard him and Integra talking, "That sneaky little demon."

"I take you told him something about last night didn't you? I don't know how he understands what you say though, I can only handle so much of it."

"Luis has known me a long time. So have Kyle and Johnny. Longer than you, longer than any human alive, except for maybe Walter. I'm afraid they figured out my mind games long ago."

"Congratulations to them. I still don't get what you were saying."

"Yes you do Integra, you just don't want to admit it. If nothing else you suspect."

He didn't call me master. That was her first thought. He only called her by name on rare occasions, normally serious ones. 'Master' had been a strange taunt from him. She found herself thinking back. Alucard had always been there, from the day she had awakened him to now. He was always there. When she was younger as a monster, then as a sort of tentative friend, then as a thing to be controlled. Now...

"I can sense the mental turmoil in your mind without trying Integra. It doesn't become you. You are normally so assured of yourself."

Integra felt fury in herself at the momentary weakness, and decided to direct her anger at the one who had caused it. She pulled out her pistol and aimed it between Alucard's eyes. She didn't care if he would regenerate it, she was going to show him exactly what she thought of him, "Bloody vampire."

"Ah, now there is the Integra I know and love." Alucard said, smiling. He let his human side come out and say that one thing, and the words hung in the air heavily.

For once Integra could actually imagine Alucard alive, and though sadistic and ruthless, also very much human, "Alucard, is this some sort of sick game?"

"No, no games this time. I have given myself five minutes of humanity. I have lowered my guard. Now I ask you do the same. This is not an every day thing for me Integra, and I have done it for only two people."

"And who were they?"

"Mina Harker, and now you make two."

Darn it, he wasn't lying. Integra could tell. She had never seen him like this, making himself vulnerable. Especially not in front of her. Had all of those times of offering his blood really had a deeper meaning than just tormenting her?

She thought about, and tried to imagine if he was gone. At first she thought it would be paradise, no more tormenting voices, no more worrying whether or not a shadow was something more, being able to feel safe in her home.

But then a revelation hit her. She wouldn't feel safe. She would feel afraid, without knowing that he was always there in the shadows, a disturbing but also comforting phantom. She would miss those voices, taunts, even the laughter, because it proved that she wasn't alone. And how seemingly pointless her life would be without him there, and indeed how short it would have been. She remembered all the things he had done for her. Helped her run the organization, gave his own twisted form of comfort during hardships, and saved her life countless times. That protective wrath, always assured, never failing. He hadn't let her down yet.

He waited patiently, arms crossed, regarding her with crimson eyes. Her walls had cracked, and he was catching snippets of thought here and there. But not enough to tell him a solid thought on her part.

Then Integra smiled, and put her gun down on her desk, "Bloody Hell, I've fallen in love with a vampire without even knowing it."

Lui stopped spying on them at that point. He was just checking to see if his assumption was correct, now he was going to go about his business. He couldn't help but laugh at the irony of it. Alucard, the no-life king of vampires and Integra Wingates Hellsing, leader of one of the most feared vampire hunting organizations in the world, together. He wondered how much human was left under all of the insanity and blood Alucard had wrapped himself up in.

Well, enough obviously.

Walter walked by, carrying a tray of food and some tea. Lui stopped him, "I don't think they want to be disturbed right now Walter."

"'They?' Luis?"

"Integra and Alucard."

Walter smiled, "Ah, so it's finally happened then. Right, I'll just go and... do something with this."

Kyle strolled into the kitchen, eating an apple. He had loved apples in live, he still loved them now, it didn't matter they made him sick if he ate them too much. He looked over to the stove, and smiled.

There stood Johnny, cooking. Walter stood by, watching with great interest.

"I must say, it seems that you've done this before."

"I have. Back when I was alive I wanted to be a chef. When the war started that's what I was in the navy. It wasn't much, but I managed to make the meals as bearable as possible."

"So chef boy, what are you making now?" Kyle asked, walking up beside him, taking another bite of his apple.

"Well, since they haven't been graced with my cooking yet, I was going to start off with some soup, then some nice juicy Texas style steaks."

"Sounds delicious. Fix me up one of those steaks man, rare and bloody of course."

"Right. Anyway, then I got home-style mashed potatoes ready to be cooked over there, green beans, rolls, and for good measure I made some cookies."

"Excuse me sir, but those are biscuits."

"No, they're cookies."

"Biscuits."

"Cookies."

"Biscuits."

"Dang it, they're cookies!"

Kyle sighed, "Sorry to interrupt this...enchanting conversation, but I smell more than that cooking."

Johnny glanced at him, then grinned, "Oh ya, I almost forgot. Since I've lost all sense of taste drinking medical blood, I decided to whip a little something up for us bloodsuckers. Take notes Walter, and you can use this to twist Alucard around your little finger. As I recall, he loved this."

He took the lid off a pot, and they all looked inside. Kyle's eyes gleamed, "Is that what I think it is?"

"Yep."

Walter looked at the swirling brownish liquid. It was thick, and there was a fairly odd smell about it.

"Excuse me sir, I don't recall what this was."

"Blood-olate." Kyle said, taking a step back and licking his lips.

"What?"

"Everyone has a different name for it. Sugar blood, cherry chocolate, Nosferatu nectar..." Johnny told him, reciting off some names, "Basically, vampire chocolate. Same basic idea, just mixed with blood and some other ingredients, and cooked a little differently."

Walter recalled, "Oh yes, I remember this. You had Alucard almost groveling for more of this stuff back during the war. It must have slipped my mind, that was a long time ago you know." A wicked grin spread across his face, "Please, do write down the recipe."

"No problem. Just one thing, never give Alucard or anyone else very much. Even humans, I've found quite a few who like this believe it or not, shouldn't eat a lot of it."

"Why not?"

Kyle threw away the core of his apple and laughed, "Cause, it's got so much sugar and crap in it that a lot of it screws with your system. Plus humans aren't supposed to eat blood. The real problem is with vampires though, what with all the sugar and crap in with the blood. You might as well be feeding us... Well, if you recall five little squares of it got Alucard sugar high. And I mean, that was Alucard."

Walter smiled. Now that he thought of it, he did remember that particular occasion. Rather ill timed as well...

(FLASH BACK)

Alucard ran around the base, giggling like a little girl. He changed into a hell hound and promptly started to try and bite it's own ear.

"Bloody idiot, come on we're moving out."

Alucard switched back into his human form and began rolling around, laughing uncontrollable, "Blood, bloody, blody, buddy, hehehehehe..."

"What is wrong with you?"

Alucard started zipping around so fast that he could barely be seen, "Hehehehehe... Look at me! I'm flying!"

Alucard jumped up into the air and turned into a swarm of bats, emitting high pitched shrieks that still sounded like laughter. They flapped their wings way faster than necessary, and kept running into each other. Soon many of them were tangled up and trying to separate from each other, falling to the ground in the process. Finally they all merged back into Alucard, who was on his back.

"Hehehehehe, I'm going to make a snow angel!"

As Alucard began to move his arms and legs to make a snow angel (There was no snow, it was the middle of July), two men in black coats walked up.

"What the... Is he alright Walter?"

"I don't know Lui. I came out here to find him and he was like this." A young Walter replied.

At that moment Alucard got up, saying pitifully, "There's no snow... Hehehehehehe!"

He started attempting cartwheels and back flips. He went back and forth in front of them, until he hit the side of a tank head first, and staggered back. He fell, and lay there for a moment.

"This is sad. I think he's finally lost it. Should we like, put him down? End his, uh, happiness? What is going on, he's Lucifer, why is he giggling like a twelve year old girl?" Kyle suggested.

"ALCUARD!" A heavily accented voice roared.

"What is it?" He replied sweetly.

Johnny stormed out of the building, holding an empty box, "I said you could have one! One! You ate all five!"

Then they watched as Alucard did a handstand, balanced on one hand, then promptly fell over. What in the?

"Man, these things are stronger than I thought." Johnny commented, looking at the empty box.

"What did you give him? Opium?" Lui yelled, motioning to Alucard how was now doing ballerina twirls and jumps.

"No... I just gave him some new chocolate I made... I made one for each of us..." Johnny said slowly, holding up the now empty box.

A brown haired woman, with slightly dark skin for a pure blood, walked up. She wore a black uniform like the other Americans, and had a firm, but kind face. Her hair fell back to about her waist, and she had a very impatient/angry expression on her face, "What in the name of God is taking so long- Alucard?"

"Hello Sara!" Alucard yelled, running up to the brunette and embracing her. She felt her bones bend and creak under the force of it.

"GET, HIM, OFF!" She gasp-yelled to them.

Suddenly Alucard let go and began to twirl around like a top. Faster and faster, "Sara! You should try this! It's fun!"

Sara got up and looked at her fledglings, "Johnny, Luis, what did you do to him?"

Kyle rubbed his temples, "Johnny gave him one of his experiments. I'm normally first in line to try out his new blood-food stuff, but I don't know if I want any of this crap."

Sara muttered something in her native language. Or, one of them. They weren't quite sure what all the languages she knew were. And some of them sounded so much alike they couldn't tell.

"That's not nice to say!" Alucard scolded, waving his finger at her.

"Like you bloody know what she said..." Walter muttered.

"Yep! I understood it all!"

"Alright, what did she say?"

"Nothing!"

"What? But if she said nothing how could it not be a nice thing to say?" Walter countered, finally able to bring a point against the vampire.

"Because nothing is something and if something is nothing, and everything is something, and if everything is something and something is nothing then nothing is everything!" Alucard exclaimed proudly, before falling straight backwards and rolling around on the ground. He changed back into a hell hound and re-commenced trying to bite his own ear.

They looked at Sara, since she understood Alucard better than the rest of them. She stared blankly at the large black hound in front of her. She voiced everyone's thought with, "Excuse my language, but what the Hell was that?"

And that's the real story behind how the term 'sugar high' came into being.

(END FLASH BACK)

Alucard walked into the kitchen, and emmediatly took a step back, "KEEP THAT AWAY FROM ME!"

Johnny took a wooden spoon and stirred the vampire chocolate, and then held the spoon up to him, "Come on Alucard, you know you want some!"

"STAY BACK!"

They all laughed insanely. How could they forget the time Dracula got sugar high?

Integra walked into the room, to see Johnny advancing on Alucard with spoon covered in something and Alucard seemingly backing away and rushing forward at the same time.

"What the, is that... chocolate? Alucard, is this some weird phobia or something?"

Lui began to sing a song, "Take a little time from your busy lives..."

Kyle picked up the next verse, "Smile a little before you die."

"Have a little laugh as I recall the tale." Walter put in, remembering this small ditty they used to torment Alucard with.

Johnny finished it with, "The tale of when Dracula got sugar high."

Alucard phased from the room, leaving a very confused Integra, "What was that about?"

Seras groggily walked up the stairs. The others had been up for a while, but for some reason she had been very tired. She walked slowly, arms drooping. She walked into the kitchen to get some blood. Man, something smelled good. Walter must have been cooking a really big dinner for Integra. She walked to the fridge, then saw a pan on the counter. Some one had set something out to cool off. She walked over to the pan, curious as to what was in it, and then her eyes started to sparkle at what she saw.

"Chocolate!"

God help us all...

Oh, and thanks for all the ideas about the songs, but I worded it wrong. Those are all great suggestions, but I meant ideas for original songs. Songs that the band Vampires of Hellsing would have made if they were a real band.

Anyway, thanks for all the support. This story isn't over yet though.