1Chapter Nineteen: Grand Finale' Part 3 (Seras gets Sugar High and other Interesting Stuff)
Johnny walked into the kitchen, whistling. He had set the chocolate out to cool off and solidify. He looked at the empty pan for three seconds before realizing that none of the chocolate was there.
Then the realization hit him, "Oh crap LUI!SIR! WE HAVE A PROBLEM!"
The three vampires met in the kitchen, and Johnny told them, "Alright, all the chocolate is gone. All of it."
"How much was there?" Lui asked quickly.
"A heck of a lot more than five pieces."
"Did Alucard get it?" Kyle asked.
"Are you kidding? He's afraid of the stuff. Walter knows what it is, Integra is working, the soldiers aren't allowed in the kitchen and that leaves..."
Suddenly a yellow and blue blur whizzed by them, laughing.
"Seras." Lui finished.
They didn't know where Seras had acquired the roller skates, but now she was circling them, slowing so she wasn't a blur anymore.
"Hey guys! Have you had some of that chocolate! IT'S AWESOME!"
"Seras, if you will just get off the roller skates very calmly."
"Lui." Seras said, her voice childishly changing pitch between syllables from high to higher.
"What?" Lui asked cautiously as she continued to circle them.
"How do you do that thing where you make music come out from no where?"
"You want to learn?"
She nodded her head vigorously and squealed, "YES!"
"Alright, then you have to take off the SKATES!"
He lunged on 'skates', but she dodged him and stuck out her tongue, "You'll have to catch me first."
"After her!" Lui yelled, getting back up. He also summoned a camera from somewhere.
Lui dashed ahead and skidded to a halt as he came to a corner. Seras promptly tackled him, "YOU'RE IT!"
Lui attempted to grab her, but she was too fast. Darn her and her sugar-enhanced vampire speed!
"I say, what is all the yelling about?" Walter asked, stepping out of a room which was beside Lui.
"Seras found the chocolate. And you know how women get around chocolate."
Walter paled, "How much of it did she eat?"
"All of it. And that's a whole lot." Johnny said, running up beside him.
Kyle got a very smart idea, "ALUCARD!"
The red clad vampire appeared upside down from the ceiling, "What do you want?"
"Seras ate all the chocolate."
"Oh great."
Suddenly Seras appeared under him, and looked up at him. He looked up, er, down, at her.
"HEY MASTER! Can you show me how to do that! IT'S SO COOL!"
Alucard grabbed her shoulders, but she started roller blading away, pulling him out of the portal. The shock of hitting the floor made him lose his grip. She turned, crossed her arms, and sulked angrily. Like, small child angry, "You're no fun. Big meanie!"
Then she began laughing uncontrollably and retreated. The vampires and Walter formulated a plan.
"Alright, Kyle and Johnny go around that way and cut her off, Walter and Alucard go that way and make sure she doesn't try and double back."
"What are you going to do bro?" Johnny asked.
"I'm going horseback riding."
Seras was roller blading along, like she hadn't in ages. She felt it all coming back to her, when she was a little girl she did this all the time. She jumped and spun around the air.
Then she heard a noise behind her. She looked, and Lui was riding one of his big mean horse thingys.
"Eeep!"
She began to go faster, and Lui urged his mount to follow her. He marveled at her speed. The nightmare could run faster than any vampire, yet she was still pulling away. How?
Oh ya. It wasn't designed with chocolate in mind. Stupid oversights.
Suddenly Seras stopped, and ducked. Lui tried to grab her as he went by, but missed. He cursed and looked back at her. She waved daintily with one hand.
That's when he hit the wall. He could feel the mansion shake with the force of the impact. His mount dissipated, and he feel onto his back. She slowly wheeled up to him, and bent over until their faces were level.
"That wasn't very smart. Running into walls isn't a good idea you know."
Lui glared up at her, "You think you're real cute don't you."
"Yep."
"You're not!"
He tried to grab her, and got a handful of hair. She cried out and smacked him. Then she bent down, took off one of her roller skates and hit him in the groin with it. He cried out in pain, and rolled over on his knees.
"You shouldn't pull people's hair!" She yelled, taking off the other skate and taking advantage of his bowing position, hit him over the head with it.
He fell flat on his stomach. That, had, hurt.
"Hehehehehe..."
As he struggled to his feet, he asked, "What are you laughing at?"
"YOU!"
"And what's so funny about me pray tell?"
"EVERYTHING!"
Lui started to chase her, but the pain in his crouch-area turned it into a sort of limp. At least she wasn't on roller skates anymore.
"But did she have to hit me with them?" He muttered.
Johnny and Kyle ran up beside him, "What happened?"
"She took off her skate and got a freaking low blow on me. Then while I was bent over she clogged me over the head with the other one."
"Did you accomplish anything?"
"Ya, now she thinks I'm the funniest thing on the face of the planet."
After Lui's pain subsided, they began to chase her again. She ran outside, laughing wildly. She stuck out her arms and began to make airplane noises and giggling.
They chased her all the way to the gardening shed. Lui got to it first.
She was holding an orange container. On it were the words "Warning, concentrated form of gasoline. Alucard, do not use in lawn mower."
AND WALTER HAD LEFT IT IN THE SHED? THAT IDIOT!
"Hey there little lawn mower! Are you thirsty?" Seras asked, unscrewing the cap and pouring the gas inside. Lui was frozen in place. When the container was empty, she threw it away saying, "You were thirsty, yes you were. What's that? You want to take me for a ride? ALRIGHT!"
Lui quickly slammed the doors of the shed shut as Kyle and Johnny got to him. His face was pale and his eyes were wide.
"What is it?" Kyle asked, he and the younger vampire skidding to a stop when they saw Lui's look.
"She's found, the lawnmower."
Suddenly with a roar the door burst open, flinging Lui into the air. The other Americans turned on their heels and began to run away.
Lui landed on the hood of the new even-more-uber-than-the last lawnmower.
He looked back at Seras, "TURN THIS THING OFF! NOW!"
"NO!" She yelled back, swerving. He slid off the hood, but managed to grab onto another part. But from this position he was being dragged along the ground.
"THAT LOOKS LIKE FUN LUI!" Seras squealed, jumping off and hanging on next to him.
Lui was abnormally calm, "Seras, is anyone driving right now?"
"Nope!"
"I hate you. I really, truly, honestly hate you Seras."
"I love you to!"
Then suddenly they both yelled out in surprise when they crashed through a wall. Lui hurriedly got into the seat and turned the key. Nothing. He pulled it out. Nothing. He took the key and stabbed the lawnmower with it.
Darn it, wasn't there anyway to stop this thing?
He pushed the brake pedal. That slowed it down, till the brakes snapped. Something had dislodged the speed control lever. Lui turned desperately, trying to take them out of the mansion.
Seras grabbed onto his arm, "I'M SCARED! MAKE IT STOP LUI!"
"GET OFF OF ME SERAS! I'M TRYING TO MAKE IT FREAKING STOP!"
Luckily, he managed to do this. And he saw Walter and Alucard. He yelled to them, "SHOOT IT! SHOOT THE STUPID LAWN MOWER!"
Alucard didn't need encouragement. Walter didn't try to stop him. He pulled out both of his pistols and unloaded them into the engine of the mower. This caused it to start to slow. Lui grabbed Seras and jumped off, shielding her from the explosion that followed.
"You did it!" She squealed, and gave him a big kiss on the lips. Then she commenced to hug him, arms around his neck.
And not that he wasn't happy with this position, but when he felt his windpipe collapse, he had to try and push her away.
"Lui? What's wrong?"
He desperately pointed to his neck. She didn't get the gesture.
"What? Are you hurt?"
He nodded vigorously, hoping she would let go.
"You poor thing!"
She squeezed him tighter.
He saw black spots start to develop in his eyes. The world was spinning wildly. His life suddenly and inexplicably started flashing before his eyes.
'Wait' he thought, 'I never got that twenty dollars from him!'.
"Police Girl, let him go!"
"He's hurt!" She yelled back, holding him even tighter as if to protect him. He started twitching.
"You're the one hurting him!"
She looked at him confused. Then she loosened he grip, and looked down at Lui, whose face had turned purple, "Am I hurting you?"
Lui gasped for air and desperately tried to crawl away. However, she caught his foot. He looked back, surprised and frustrated. What could she want now?
"I try to help you and now you try and run away without so much as saying thank you? I DON'T THINK SO LUIS THOMSON!"
Lui's eyes went from frustrated surprise to pure fury. He started mouthing words and pointing to his neck (She had crushed his windpipe, thus making him temporarily mute.). He was telling her exactly what he thought of her 'help'.
Seras narrowed her eyes angrily back. She had an inkling as to what he was saying, even if she couldn't hear it.
She lunged at him, and began to hit him. He caught both her fist, and rolled over on top of her. She rolled over on top of him. He threw her off, and got to his knees only to be tackled from behind.
As this small conflict raged on, the other four merely stared.
"Shouldn't we like, help him maybe?" Kyle asked.
"After you."
"Ladies first." Kyle shot back cooly.
Seras, who had been slamming Lui's head into the ground by his neck, glared at them. She got up and advanced on Kyle.
"Ladies first? What's that supposed to mean?"
"What do you think it means? God did some of that blond bleach seep down into your brain?" Kyle asked, hoping to provoke her.
"I am not a stupid blond! And I resent that stereotype! Some of the most intelligent people on Earth have been blond-"
"Name one."
"-And further more, I happen to be a lady. And he" She pointed to Johnny, "Is no lady. Calling him such is an insult to women everywhere!"
"God, get this chick a soapbox." Lui said, his voice box finally healed, getting his knees. He knew what Kyle was trying to do. Get her to lower her guard.
Seras whirled and gave him a right hook to the jaw. That put Lui back on the ground, "Don't interrupt a lady!"
Kyle, Johnny, Alucard, and Walter lunged while her back was turned, but they missed. Instead they all landed on Lui (He's having a really bad day).
Seras started giggling like a little girl again, "Hehehehehe, you guys are silly."
Then she began to run off. Lui pushed his companions off of him, and then began to chase Seras. He then had a revelation. He let his three year old extremely immature inner-child take over.
He looked at Seras's socks. They were white, with care bears on them.
(Care bears? They make care bear socks?)
"Hey Seras, your socks are stupid!"
They all turned, surprised by the change in his voice. He winked at them.
Seras turned slowly, "What?"
"Ha-ha you have stupid socks!"
"My socks are not stupid!"
"Are to!"
"Are not!"
"Are to!"
"Are not!"
"Are to!"
"MY SOCKS ARE NOT STUPID AND THAT'S FINAL!" Seras said, stomping her foot.
"You have care bear socks! Ha ha ha ha, Seras has care bear socks!" Lui said childishly, pointing. He began to chant his little taunt.
"Oh ya? Well you have a, uh, you have a cd with the Barbie song on it!" Seras yelled back.
Lui began to reply, but faltered. Dang it, that was true. He had copied it off the internet to prank Alucard with it, but it was true he did have it, "Oh ya, well you have a teddy bear in your coffin!"
"How did you find out about teddy!" Seras yelled back. Lui was stunned by the response. She had a teddy bear in her coffin?
Johnny nudged Alucard, "Does she really have a teddy bear in her coffin?"
"Not that I know of. Now I think she's hallucinating. Or maybe she does, I don't know for sure."
"Well, you have a, you have a nose!" Seras yelled.
Kyle leaned over to Walter, "How is that insulting?"
"I have no idea sir."
"Oh ya? Well, you have cooties!"
"I do not!"
"Do to!"
"Do not!"
"Do to!"
Seras stomped over to Lui, and raised her fist to hit him, "I do not!"
However, he caught the blow, and easily got her into an arm lock. He then transferred her to his shoulder, "Now young lady, I think you need a time out."
"NO! I DON'T WANNA GO TO TIME OUT! PUT ME DOWN! HELP! ALUCARD! I DON'T WANNA GO TO TIME OUT!"
Seras struggled with all her might, but Lui was done playing games. His grip was like iron. There was no escape. He took her down to her room in the basement, and threw her inside. He slammed the door before she could attack him, and used one of his fingernails to create a small cut on the palm of his hand. He placed the wound to the door, mumbled some words, and sealed it off.
The others clapped a little at the accomplishment. Lui fell back against the wall, and slid down to a sitting position. That had been, fun. Ish.
"That was genius. How did you come up with that out of curiosity?" Walter asked.
"She was acting like a three year old. Hmm, let's see, who else here acts like a three year old?"
They chuckled a bit, then Johnny said, "Are you alright?"
"I'm fine. Just a bit, exhausted. Go on, enjoy the night. I'm going to sit here and, you know, sit here. Johnny, bring me my guitar ya?"
"Sure man."
Lui absently plucked the strings of his guitar, letting his body recover. Chocolate, no chocolate, Seras was Alucard's dark child. It would take a braver man than him to actually get on Seras's bad side.
A few hours and some screaming later, Lui was still sitting there. He heard some shuffling of feet, and something hit the door. He could tell Seras was sitting with her back to it.
"So have you learned your lesson young lady?"
"Don't hit people?"
"No."
"Um, don't hold onto people tighter if they starting pointing to their neck?"
"Well, yes, but not quite that either."
"What lesson?"
"Don't eat a lot of chocolate."
He heard her exclaim in surprise, "You mean, I was that hyper because I ate the chocolate?"
"Ya. Oh, and it's alright that you nearly killed me several times."
"Sorry..."
"So how do you feel?"
"Tired and I have a really bad headache."
"Good, I'm unsealing the door. If you are lying I have my gun ready."
He put his hand gently to the door, and released his seal. The door opened slowly. Seras stood there, tired but smiling. She sat down across the hall from Lui.
"You broke your promise Seras."
"What promise?"
"You kissed me again."
"Oh, uh, sorry."
"Apologizing? Well then, I guess you'll have to kiss me again to make up for it won't you?"
"What is it with you? I've had men lust after me before, but you manage it like an art. How many women have you seduced over the years?"
"Uh, um... Ya..." Lui said uncomfortably.
"That many?"
He shook his head, a little embarrassed, "No, try the opposite of that."
"10?" He shook his head. "5? 3? 2? 1?" Still he shook his head. "None?"
He didn't say anything. Seras laughed at him, "Wait, you mean, are you still a virgin Lui?"
"Shut up! I get enough flak from Johnny! Yes, I'm the two hundred year old virgin vampire! What, you want to taste my blood and check? Go ahead."
She laughed some more, and he sulked. She put her hand on his shoulder, giggling, "Lui, that's-"
"Sad?"
"Sweet."
They locked eyes for a moment. A very long moment. Then Lui stood up, saying, "Come on, let's get out of here. There's still some time before sunrise."
"Right."
"Hey Seras?"
"What?"
"Do you really have a teddy bear in your coffin?"
She punched him in the side, saying, "Wouldn't you like to know?"
"You have a teddy bear in your coffin. Wow. I mean, darn it. Sorry, that's just a new one."
"Hey, I don't make fun of you being a virgin after two hundred years you don't make fun of my teddy bear."
"No, I'm not making fun of you. Just, that's really, innocent."
"Ya, I've heard that before."
LATER
Integra sighed and leaned back in her seat. That had been a rather grueling session of signing papers. Along with the whole sugar-high Seras on a lawnmower.
Still, she had enjoyed her dinner. Johnny could do something useful. She was impressed.
She slid under the covers of her bed, making a silent vow not to do any work tomorrow. What? Incognito has come back from the dead with the Valentine brothers? Tell them to wait till noon.
She knew that Alucard was watching her. And she really didn't care. In fact, she felt rather relieved that he was there, watching. Comforting.
"Good night Master. Tomorrow will be an interesting day I think."
She curled into a tight little ball, "I don't care Alucard. Let me sleep."
Johnny and Kyle had finally got down to something they had been planning to do for a while. They stood, regarding each other. Johnny held his rapier, his hand shaking a little.
Kyle seemed so big, untouchable in his white coat, sizing him up from behind those clear lenses. He held a long sword, about 4 and have feet in length and five inches wide.
"Are you afraid?"
"Yes." Johnny replied. He didn't even bother lying.
"Then you've already lost. Come on Johnny, you're better than you know, but if you can't get past your fear none of it matters. Forget I'm the one who taught you. Begin."
Johnny rushed forward, and tried to end it quickly with a lunge, but found his blade sticking into the ground with Kyle's sword at his throat.
"You hesitated. Don't worry about hurting me."
Johnny nodded, and made for another lunge, but stopped midway. This move caught Kyle slightly off guard, and almost got him. But the older vampire managed to hop back out of the rapier's stabbing range. He looked at the point of the blade. A slower vampire would have had his heart skewered.
Kyle brought his sword around, knocking the rapier away from him, then used the momentum of the swing to carry it on in a roundhouse slash aimed at Johnny's neck. The younger vampire used his weapon to deflect the blow just over his head, and Kyle had to jump strait back to avoid the blade of his opponent.
Johnny went on the offensive with three quick thrusts. He was driving Kyle back, knowing that his long sword wasn't meant for a stab fight with a rapier. Kyle used his weapon's superior weight in a brilliant overhead slash just as Johnny reached the full range of his weapon's thrust.
Only a quick roll to the left kept his head from being split into two pieces. However, the older vampire seemed to be confused by the sudden move, and was recovering slowly. Johnny without thinking rushed forward.
It took Kyle several seconds to figure out what was obscuring the vision of his left eye. Then he dropped his sword, and smiled.
"See, there you go. You've beaten me."
Johnny blinked a few times, then lowered his weapon, "Uh, I..."
Kyle looked at him, annoyed, "Don't start apologizing. You won. Maybe now you'll actually call me by name instead of 'sir'."
"Kyle..." Johnny said, as if it was an alien word, "How did I do that? I mean, I know that I couldn't have surprised you that much."
"I thought you would roll right."
"That's it?"
"Ya. But you still won. A win is a win."
They heard clapping. Turning, they saw Lui leaning against the wall, smiling, "That was the best seven second fight ever."
"Seven seconds? That's it?"
"Just about. Alright, you guys ready for tomorrow?"
"Hey, I'm always ready."
"How about you Johnny?"
"This is no big thing. Can't believe we're actually going to leave now. It's been cool here."
"Back to the good ol' US of A." Lui commented. His thoughts seemed to be elsewhere.
"You should go pack your stuff Lui." Kyle told him.
Lui looked around, and put his hands behind his head, "I wish it were that simple."
As he walked away, Kyle looked at Johnny, "What was that?"
"I don't know. I think he's been spending too much time with Alucard or something. Come on s- Kyle, let's go see if there is anything we still need to do."
Lui sat in his room, making one last song. One last song before the next day. The next day...
The pain, the laughter, the smiles, the happiness of the last days, weeks, months, however long they had been there, played themselves over in his mind. It had been fun. And oh the irony of his current situation wasn't lost upon him. He laughed and started writing again. It was going to be a night to remember.
