Hi, okay, this is a one-shot, it's a pre-series, and my first VM fic! Please r&r.
Reasons
Ever since he met Veronica Mars he was fucked. The day he first saw her in her cute little soccer uniform, he was fucked for the rest of his life. He didn't know it then, but he knew it now and that was all that mattered. She fucked him so hard that he didn't know right from wrong. All that was wrong in his life was because of her.
The first time his father hit him was when he stood up for her when his father was talking shit about her father, that he was a shitty cop because he gave Aaron a speeding ticket. The first time him and Lily kissed was propelled by her lack of interest in him, and then he fell in love with Lily because of her. The first time him and Lily broke up was because he looked at her too long.
It was all her fault.
If he hadn't stood up for her, his father wouldn't have hit him, at least not then. If he hadn't had a miniscule crush on her he wouldn't have kissed Lily and never would have fallen in love with her, and wouldn't feel the pain he did whenever he thought of his dead, murdered love. If she hadn't grown boobs before Lily, they never would have broken up.
If she wasn't everything he thought about he wouldn't be pressing his razor to his wrist. She was the reason for it all. Veronica fucking Mars.
He knew she wasn't responsible for Lily's death and he knew she loved her as much as he did, but she was responsible for the pain that losing Lily caused him.
So he sat in his shower, fully dressed and soaked to the bone with his razor, no, it wasn't his razor it was Lily's, it was pink and it was pressed against his skin, itching to be pushed into it.
"Logan?"
Why was she here? Didn't she know it was all her fault?
He didn't move, he just laughed. At himself. At her. At Duncan. At his parents.
At Lily.
"What are you doing?" Her voice was panicked. As if she cared. She reached over him and turned the water off, while he laughed insanely about everything in his life.
"Logan?" Her voice was so soft and caring that it made him stop laughing and look at her. She looked beautiful. He wanted to fucking kill her. He wanted to yell and scream at her; verbally blame her for everything. "What are you doing with the razor, Logan?"
"I'm shaving my legs." He started laughing again. "What the fuck do you think I'm fucking doing. Ronnie? My girlfriend is dead. There's nothing left for me here. So why don't you just run along to your boyfriend, you know Lily's brother? And fuck him over the way you fucked me over."
"What are you talking about?"
"Get out! Get the fuck out! I hate you! I fucking hate you!" He got up and started throwing towels and face clothes and bottles of shampoo at her until she ran out of the bathroom with tears running down her face.
The room smelled like coconuts. And he was crying, and punching, and kicking. There was glass all over the room. Veronica appeared in the doorway. He looked over to her in the midst of his rage and screamed at the top of his lungs and threw his fist through the sliding glass door of the shower. He fell to the ground, his body wracking with sobs. Veronica still stood in the doorway. He felt her move slowly towards him and knelt down to his level.
"I'm sorry. I'm so, so, sorry."
He looked up at her and nodded. He wrapped his arms around her, their sobs in sync with each other. They clung to each other in the middle of his bathroom floor with shards of glass surrounding them and Logan's blood on a few pieces.
He forgave her the second she apologized, but would never be able to look at her the same way ever again.
