Remember that underlined, italicized text denotes flashbacks. Also, be aware that this chapter (and most subsequent ones) has yaoi and het relationships.
EPISODE FIVE: Love Explosion! Missions for the Leaf!
It took a few moments for Naruto to realize that the banging sound he heard was someone knocking on his door. Usually that kind of noise meant that the old man upstairs had decided to hang something new on his wall, or wanted Naruto to go to sleep and stop making noise. Occasionally, it meant that the chuunin who lived next door was fucking his girlfriend. The guy wasn't much to look at, but he apparently had really muscular thighs, judging from the way his bed frame knocked against the wall. Given that Naruto could not remember ever having a single visitor, the possibility that someone wanted to enter his apartment simply didn't occur to him until he heard someone shout, "Uzumaki Naruto! Are you in there?"
Finally figuring out what had been causing all that racket, Naruto bolted across his tiny apartment, opened his door, and for a speechless moment could only think, Whoa, Sasuke grew a lot last night. Then he realized that Sasuke couldn't possibly have gotten that tall in a single evening, and started to notice the differences between this man and his teammate. The harsh lines of the face, the look in the eyes, the hair... they were all different from Sasuke.
Then Naruto realized he was staring. With a nervous laugh he said, "Um... hi?"
"Hello, Naruto-kun," the visitor said, "I'm Uchiha Itachi... Sasuke's brother. May I come in?" Hearing that voice, Naruto had the strange feeling he'd met the man before, though he couldn't remember where.
"Err... yeah... Uchiha... um, san," Naruto stammered, moving aside so the man could enter. Never having had a visitor before, he was somewhat out of his element. The fact that he'd never even been a guest in anyone else's home before left him even more clueless as to what, exactly, he should be doing.
Naruto decided that he should at least offer Itachi something to eat and drink. So he pulled out one of the rickety chairs at the kitchen table for the man, then grabbed a carton of milk from the refrigerator and a bag of cookies from one of the cabinets. He unceremoniously dumped the cookies onto a plate and poured some milk into a glass, shoving both towards Itachi.
The Uchiha just stared at him for a moment, and Naruto almost kicked himself. Stupid! he thought, Grown-ups don't eat cookies and milk!
To Naruto's surprise, however, Itachi said, "Thank you," and started to eat one of the cookies.
"Sorry," Naruto said, "I just don't get many visitors, actually I've never had any, so I don't know what I'm doin', so please forgive..."
"I understand, Naruto-kun," Itachi said, smiling slightly. "You're doing the best you can."
Naruto nodded, and took the other rickety chair, keenly aware of how dingy and dirty his single-room apartment must seem. "So, er... why're you here... Uchiha-san?" he asked after a moment.
"Call me Itachi," the man insisted, smiling slightly. "I just wanted to meet my brother's teammate," he explained.
"Well, I guess you have," Naruto said, frowning as Itachi ate another cookie. That bag had cost him three days worth of instant ramen, and he started to regret offering them to the older Uchiha. But he didn't want to make things any worse with Sasuke than they already were, so he couldn't just be rude and take the plate away.
"Not really," Itachi replied, smiling slightly, "After all, I've barely talked with you." He took a large gulp of milk. "Besides, there's something important I want to tell you."
"What?"
"Give Sasuke a chance," Itachi said. "I know you two haven't exactly started out on the right foot, but I think you two have a lot in common."
"Really," Naruto drawled, gesturing to his crummy apartment, "He's got his huge family, his nice house, no worries about money, and everyone we know likes him. How's that like me?"
"Because he also longs for acknowledgement, Naruto-kun," Itachi said. "Our father... he's a hard man. Sasuke has been trying to prove his worth to Father for many years, but he always gets rejected. He's stopped admitting it, perhaps even to himself, but Sasuke deeply desires for Father to recognize him as a capable ninja."
"Your dad's pretty dumb if he doesn't know Sasuke's talented," Naruto said, then blushed. He couldn't decide which was more embarrassing—insulting his guest's father, or admitting that Sasuke was skilled.
To Naruto's relief, Itachi didn't look offended. Instead, he shrugged, saying, "I agree. But I can't make Father see the truth, any more than the Sandaime can make the villagers see you for who you really are."
"Oh," Naruto whispered, feeling a little twisted up inside. The idea that Sasuke might want the same sort of thing he did was pretty weird, and it didn't sit well in Naruto's heart. He knew all too well how much it hurt to want acknowledgement and never get it.
"I'm not asking you to suddenly become Sasuke's best friend, Naruto-kun," Itachi continued, "I just want you to understand why he is the way he is—to see what you have in common."
"Well, why don't you try makin' him see that?" Naruto snapped. "He's the one always pickin' fights with me!"
"And you've never intentionally antagonized him?"
"What? What the fuck does that mean?"
"You've never pissed him off on purpose?" Itachi rephrased the question.
Naruto thought back to the day of the genin exam, when he'd lied to Sasuke about his reason for giving away the bells. "I guess... maybe I did..." he admitted.
"Just try to back off, is all I'm saying. If you stop getting in fights with him all the time, I think Sasuke and you could be friends."
"Alright..." Naruto said, adding, "but if he starts somethin', I'm not gonna take it lyin' down!"
"I wouldn't expect you to," Itachi said, standing up. "And I'll try to convince him to extend you the same courtesy."
"Yeah, sure."
"I mean it," Itachi insisted, crouching down slightly so that his eyes were on the blonde's level. Naruto could see the sincerity in their dark depths, so he nodded and opened the door for the Uchiha.
"Oh, before I forget... I also brought something for you."
"I don't want charity," Naruto said, bristling. He was not going to be indebted to the Uchiha clan on top of everything else that was going on with Sasuke.
"It's not charity, it's a gift," Itachi replied, "for my little brother's valued teammate." He held out a small envelope, which Naruto cautiously took. "Besides," Itachi said, "I think Sasuke owes you a lunch anyway." And then he was gone, leaving behind only a few swirling leaves.
Naruto opened the envelope to find a gift certificate for dinner at the Ichiraku. And for the first time, he began to wonder if maybe the Uchiha clan wasn't that bad.
That should keep him busy for a while, Kakashi thought as Sasuke disappeared around a bend in the road. Hopefully Naruto had chosen a reasonably distant place to do his individual training for the day—if he'd picked a spot near here Sasuke might find him almost immediately.
Of course, Kakashi didn't trust Naruto to make the wise decision, so he'd instructed Sasuke to visit Naruto's apartment in the village before searching any training areas. That detour alone would probably given the jounin the time he needed to discuss things with Sakura, as long as she didn't cry.
"Are we just going to wait for them?" Sakura asked, just as Kakashi turned towards her.
"I was thinking we could talk," he replied calmly.
"Talk? About what?"
"Do you remember what I told you during the survival test?" Kakashi asked, "After I dumped out your lunches?"
Sakura nodded, saying, "You said that people who ignore a teammate's suffering are worse than trash." She blushed, and added, "I was pretty embarrassed... I got so caught up in following your rules that..."
"That you ignored my words?" Kakashi suggested.
"What? No! I just told you..."
"I know what you said," Kakashi interjected, "and I also know what you've done. Based on the latter, it doesn't seem like you took my lesson to heart."
"Whose suffering have I been ignoring?"
"I should think that's pretty obvious."
"Naruto?" Sakura asked, a skeptical frown on her face. "I know he gets mad at us, but he's so exuberant all the time he can't possibly be..."
"Not all suffering is as obvious as a growling stomach," Kakashi said quietly. "Loneliness is a painful thing, Sakura-chan... a child who has nobody to come home to, who is ignored by adults and peers, will sometimes become noisy and make trouble. It's not that he's trying to take revenge, or that he's a delinquent at heart; there's just a certain point where even being hated and ridiculed is better than being ignored. After a while, though, the child becomes trapped... the attention he gets, though of a bad sort, is addicting. Eventually, he cannot escape; he knows only one way to get the recognition he craves—unless he discovers an alternative."
"An alternative?"
"For instance," Kakashi continued, "the child might develop skills that allow him to become part of an elite group. Seeking acknowledgement of a positive nature, he might join that group."
"Like when Naruto became a ninja..."
Kakashi nodded, saying, "Now imagine that, once he joined, the child found that his new group treated him with the same contempt as everyone else. Don't you think that might crush him, and undo all the good of his accomplishment?"
"I... I'm not sure."
"Naruto tried to leave this team, he tried to quit as a ninja, and today he didn't show up. I'd say that makes the situation pretty clear."
"...but I don't like Naruto!"
"That doesn't give you a reason to ignore his suffering, or to increase it," Kakashi said. He turned away from her and looked into the forest, towards the cenotaph. "Go home, Sakura," he ordered softly. "Think about what I told you, and see if you can't come to understand Naruto's situation... and how you might at least avoid making it worse. I'm not going to tell you to do something you just can't stand to do, but I need you to come up with a way you can work with your teammate."
"What... What if I can't think of anything?" she whispered.
Kakashi turned back to her and smiled. "I'm confident you can," he replied, "After all, you're one of Konoha's smartest young ninjas!"
Sakura blushed, but beamed at him and said, "Yes, sensei! I won't disappoint you!" She turned and started to walk back to town.
Thank god, Kakashi thought, She didn't cry.
Finally! Sasuke thought as he caught a glimpse of orange through the trees. Naruto hadn't shown up for the daily meeting this morning, and when Kakashi had arrived—three hours late—he'd sent Sasuke to find him. The search had already taken more than three hours itself, and though it had been frustrating, Sasuke had learned a lot.
Primarily, Sasuke had learned that though everybody seemed to know Naruto, nobody who lived or worked near the blonde's home gave a damn about him. Though few of them had said it explicitly, they'd generally made it clear that they didn't know where Naruto was, didn't want to know, and wouldn't be too sorry if he never came back. Only the guy at the ramen stand showed any concern, but he'd just opened for lunch and couldn't help Sasuke. The rest of the shopkeepers had offered various versions of, "You're better off not finding him." When Sasuke protested that his sensei had ordered him to do it, one of the merchants—a tailor—said, "Well then he should be arrested."
After that, Sasuke decided that he'd be better off ignoring witnesses and trying to track Naruto using physical clues. Sasuke quickly realized, however, that such an approach was a lot easier in theory than in practice. Tracking a single person traveling alone in the wilderness could be difficult, but tracking a single person moving through a town of thousands was damn near impossible. Sasuke quickly lost count of the number of times he missed the trail, but he was nothing if not a fast learner. Next time he had to track someone in a town, he would know exactly what to do... at least, if it was Naruto he was tracking. The dumbass left a trail of dried paint chips wherever he went—probably some remained in his clothing from his prankster days.
Once outside of the village proper, the trail had become much easier to follow; Naruto didn't seem to be making any effort to cover his tracks. Besides, the blonde was still shedding those paint chips—a problem Sasuke hoped he'd correct before they started going on real missions. Sasuke had entered the forested training area just ten minutes ago, and he'd already reached the blonde. Ironically, he was less than a mile from where he'd started out this morning after meeting Kakashi.
"Oi, Naruto!" Sasuke shouted as he entered the small clearing. Naruto, in the midst of attacking a stout log, whipped his head around, lost his balance, and tumbled to the ground.
"Hey!" the blonde shouted, "What'd you do that for, bastard!"
"I didn't do anything, dunce," Sasuke replied, smirking, "If you can't keep your feet through a little distraction like that, you'll never be able to fight when there are shuriken whizzing around your head." Then he remembered his conversation with Itachi and bit back a comment he'd really wanted to make about the Hokage keeping his feet in a fight. Instead, he added, "Kakashi sent me to find you."
"Yeah, I know," Naruto said, clambering to his feet and brushing himself off. "Took you long enough."
"Well, nobody wanted to admit..." Sasuke stopped himself again, not sure how Naruto would feel about what he'd learned that day. "Nobody wanted to tell me where you'd gone," he finally said.
"That's 'cause they were hopin' I'd gone off and died," Naruto explained nonchalantly, turning back towards the log and sliding into a battle stance. "Didja find the paint chips?"
"What?"
Naruto dug into a pocket of his jacket and held up a handful of multicolored dust. "I got tons of this stuff lyin' around my place from back when I used to paint graffiti," he explained, "Kakashi-sensei wanted me to leave a trail for you, so I picked this. He said it shouldn't be too obvious."
Sasuke stared, at once hopelessly confused and completely embarrassed. The paint was intentional? he wondered, then, Kakashi told him to skip today? The latter question was more pressing, so Sasuke asked, "Kakashi-sensei told you not to show up this morning?"
"Yeah," Naruto said, kicking the log, "Yesterday, after I ran off... he found me an' said he wanted a chance talk to Sakura-chan alone, so he told me to skip today and come out to a practice area and train by myself. Said he'd send you after me, and we could go home when you found me."
"But he sent me to bring you back..."
"No he didn't," Naruto replied, kicking the log again. He seemed unhappy with his form, so he repeated the blow at a lower speed, barely keeping his balance as he inched through the attack. "He just said to find me, right?"
Sasuke blinked, remembering Kakashi's exact orders and realizing the blonde was correct. "Crap," he said, "this was just training."
"He's pretty sneaky, huh?" Naruto commented, kicking the log at full speed again. "'Course, you shoulda realized that yesterday when he blackmailed me into stayin' on this damn team."
"You didn't stay just because you hated us?" Sasuke asked.
Naruto slumped out of his attack posture and leaned against the log. "Look, about that..." he said, "I... I didn't throw you guys the bells 'cause I hated you. I... I was just pissed, y'know? I wanted you to go away, so I said that... but it wasn't true."
For a long moment, Sasuke just stared at Naruto. He wanted to ask the real reason why the blonde had given up the bells, but he had the feeling that just admitting this much had been extremely difficult for his teammate. Before he demanded more answers, Sasuke really had to respond in kind. He sighed, saying, "It's okay... I did the same sort of thing earlier that day, when Sakura asked about the bells. I honestly just wanted to shut her up... I didn't really want you to fail."
"But if you'd snatched 'em, I bet you wouldn't have given me one."
"Yeah," Sasuke admitted. "I guess we're lucky that you were the one who actually got them."
"Guess so," Naruto said. He kicked the log again and added, "Look, I'm not too tired from trainin'... wanna spar a bit?"
"I guess," Sasuke said, shrugging. "Fighting you can't possibly suck any more than tracking you."
"Try sayin' that after I kick yer ass, jerk!" Naruto said, turning away from the log and settling into an defensive stance.
"Check back with me in a million years and I will," Sasuke replied, adopting an aggressive stance of his own.
"Huh?"
"That means you'll never beat me in a million years!" Sasuke snapped.
"Oh. I get it... Hey!"
And Naruto charged.
"Hey! Anybody wanna go get some ramen with me?"
"But it's only three in the afternoon," Sakura said, staring at the blonde.
"Well, I'm fu... freakin' starvin'!"
"If you were so hungry, you should have eaten some of those peas," Sasuke interjected, setting off a small shiver at the base of Sakura's spine with his tenor voice. "That lady could not possibly have noticed a handful gone missing."
"Man, no way! I hope I never see peas again my whole life!" Naruto countered. "That mission totally sucked."
"That's the way it is at this stage," Kakashi explained, leaning against a tree with his nose in that perverted book. Not that Sakura had ever read it, of course... but the title alone was pretty suggestive, and Naruto had sworn that the few words he'd read had been so obscene they'd nearly blinded him. Given that Naruto's only original jutsus so far involved transforming into a naked woman, that was quite an indictment.
"Because you're genin," Kakashi continued, heedless of Sakura's mental criticism of his reading habits, "you're given missions that seem more like boring chores. Thus, you had to shell that lady's unusually large harvest of peas."
"Well, that sucks!" Naruto said, "We've had three missions so far and they all blew! Can't we get something more exciting?"
"Ask the Hokage," Kakashi replied, shrugging. "Well, that's enough for today," he added, snapping the book shut, "Meet tomorrow at the usual time." With a puff of smoke, he vanished.
Would that be 7AM—when we show up—or 10AM—when you show up? Sakura sneered internally, but to the outside world all she did was sigh. "Let's go," she said.
"Sure you don't wanna have some ramen?" Naruto asked. "I know a real good place!"
Take a hint, dumbass! Sakura thought, saying, "I'm sure, Naruto." She tried to keep the edge out of her voice as she continued, "After shelling all those peas, I haven't got any appetite."
"Oh," Naruto said, looking vaguely disappointed. "Well, I hope you get better!" he chirped, then vanished down the street, singing, "Ramen, ramen, ramen!"
Sasuke snorted quietly and said, "That guy certainly has a one-track mind."
I'm surprised he's got any tracks at all, Sakura thought, and said, "Um... Sasuke-kun, could you walk me home?"
"Is your walk dangerous?"
"No," Sakura replied, "I just thought it would be nice to walk together."
For a moment that felt almost as long as Sakura's entire life up to that point, Sasuke said nothing. Then he smiled ever so slightly—more like a smirk, really—and nodded.
HELL YEAH! Sakura thought, and smiled demurely. She tilted her head in the direction they should go and started walking, Sasuke appearing almost instantly at her side. Her heart started pounding as she led them into an alley, taking the long route to her house. The first step of her plan had succeeded.
The day Sakura had graduated from the Academy, her mother had come into her bedroom, told her that since she was going to be viewed as an adult she better know some important things, and proceeded to give her The Most Embarrassing Lecture Ever. The description of a boy's genitals hadn't been too bad, since Sakura had learned about that stuff already. It was when her mother started describing what you could do with them, how those acts could be performed safely, and—most importantly—how it felt to perform them, that Sakura started wishing she could go deaf, or blind, or maybe just die without learning exactly how many orgasms her father could induce in a single night. But after a few days, the embarrassment had faded and the fantasies had begun. Sakura began to imagine what it would be like to do some of those things... and she'd decided she wanted to do them with Sasuke.
She wanted the romance too, of course... that was the most important part. But Sasuke was shy with girls, and Sakura knew she would have to take the first step. If—as her mother said—all boys wanted to get a girl out of her panties, then that would be the perfect lure to pull Sasuke out of his shell. Once they started fooling around he'd definitely want to do all the romantic things, if only to keep her happy.
As she'd trained herself to do, Sakura kept her thoughts from affecting her appearance, wearing a carefree smile as she walked through several alleys, across a small stream, and into one of the town's lush public gardens. "Um, Sasuke," she said, implementing the next step of her plan, "I have a favor to ask."
"What is it?"
"Well, a few weeks ago Kakashi-sensei told me to try and understand Naruto better," she explained, "and I decided to reproduce some of his experiences."
"Oh?"
"Yeah," she continued, "I ate nothing but ramen for a whole day once, and I also played a few pranks on my parents." She giggled quietly and added, "That was actually kind of fun."
"Did they not get mad?"
"Well, they did, but I had an excuse," Sakura replied. She came to a stop underneath a willow tree. "But you see," she said, "there's one experience he had that I need your help for."
Sasuke looked slightly confused, and said, "What would you like me to do?"
"Just stand still," Sakura suggested, thinking, This is so forward, but if it works... Then, without any further warning, she turned to Sasuke and kissed him.
For a moment, it was like kissing a wall. Then the tension melted out of the boy... His lips softened, his hands came up to her shoulders, and he kissed her back!
WOOHOO! Sakura thought, drawing away slightly before the kiss could go any further. After all, she didn't want to move too fast and seem like a floozy. To her extreme satisfaction, Sasuke was blushing just as much as she was, and the corners of his mouth were twitching into an ever-so-slightly wider smile. "Sasuke-kun..." Sakura murmured, the well-rehearsed line coming easily to her lips, "did you kiss Naruto back, too?"
"No," Sasuke said throatily, as if he'd read her script, "you're the only one I would kiss like that."
Sakura wrapped her arms around Sasuke's sinewy torso and rested her head on his shoulder as his hands settled on her hips. "I don't need to go home right away," she whispered.
"Then...," Sasuke murmured, "might we try that again?"
"I see somebody we both know," Chikako commented as she caught a glimpse of a familiar head of dark hair in the crowd passing the café.
"I noticed him, too," Itachi said, smirking as he stirred more sugar into his coffee. "I don't think we should call out to him, though."
"Oh? Why not?"
"Look who he's with," Itachi said, nodding towards his brother. The crowd thinned momentarily, and Chikako could see a pink-haired girl close by his side, her hand entwined with his.
Chikako smiled, forcing away the bittersweet feelings Sasuke always inspired. "His first girlfriend?" she asked.
"Haruno Sakura, one of his teammates," Itachi replied, nodding. "I knew this would happen the moment he started denying he liked her. We men are pretty simple, and as boys we're even simpler."
"All the more reason to tease him, don't you think?" Chikako said.
Itachi smiled and shook his head. "I want to stay out of it as long as I can," he said. "Sasuke's very attached to me... perhaps too attached. If he got the impression I disapproved of the relationship, he'd break up with that girl immediately. If he felt I wanted him to stay with her, he'd do so even if he hated her. Better to let him make his own decisions, without trying to please me."
Itachi took a long sip of his coffee and added, "Besides, it's sweet, isn't it? Young love?"
"Yes," Chikako replied, smiling as Sasuke and Sakura passed by, oblivious to their observers, "it certainly is."
Beneath the table, Itachi's hand wrapped itself around hers.
Iruka woke, sore and sticky, as the first rays of sunlight streaked through his bedroom window. Damn, that man knows how to fuck, he thought, rolling over to see that his new lover had long vacated the bed. I'm getting easy in my old age, he added as he gingerly rolled out off the mattress and staggered to the shower.
The near-scalding water woke Iruka up and relaxed his muscles, easing the aches the previous night's activity had caused but not alleviating them entirely. Iruka had been (unwillingly) celibate for almost a year before yesterday, and there was simply no way a body could readapt to the stress of intercourse so quickly. He winced as an awkward step pulled on a muscle that did not want to be stretched. Well, at least he'd have a while to recuperate before Kakashi returned.
Iruka chuckled at the memory of Naruto indignantly demanding a more 'amazing' mission, and the look of utter surprise on Kakashi's face when the Hokage actually granted the request. Iruka hadn't missed the pleased looks on Sasuke's and Sakura's faces, though anyone else would have been hard-pressed to see past Naruto's exultation. Like all genin, the kids were hungry for danger and excitement... not that they were likely to get it on this mission. Delivering a message to Hidden Grass village was about as dangerous as most of the D-class missions around Konoha.
That hadn't stopped Kakashi from making a big deal of it later, though. Iruka smirked as he remembered the conversation they'd had just after midnight, when he'd answered the door in his bedclothes and the jounin had barged in.
Kakashi's masked lips brushed against the Iruka's ear as he murmured, "Carrying a message to Hidden Grass village is a dangerous, C-class mission. I might not come back." One of his hands came to rest on Iruka's hip as he added, "So, on the eve of my departure, I thought I'd share one last night of passion with my lover."
"We're hardly lovers," Iruka retorted, "and if you want to get into my bed, you'll have to take me on at least two dates first... and drinking my sake in my apartment doesn't count."
"No time," Kakashi replied, his hand sneaking up under Iruka's shirt, then down into the loose boxers Iruka wore to sleep, "dangerous mission tomorrow."
"You don't waste a moment, do you?" Iruka said, suppressing a groan as the jounin's hand brushed his skin.
"Not when something I want is within my grasp."
Iruka smiled at the thought of what had happened after that. Aches and pains were a small price to pay for the incredible pleasure Kakashi had given him. Though he looked innocent, Iruka was definitely no blushing virgin, and Kakashi was easily the most proficient lover he'd ever had. Perhaps it was natural skill... or perhaps it was those perverted books Naruto kept complaining about.
Regardless, Iruka resolved that he wasn't going to fold so easily next time. Kakashi would have to take him on three dates before Iruka slept with him again.
Iruka just hoped he could hold out that long.
as needles break its tumblers
a foxtrap unlocks"
Ume intoned the poem quietly, her hands nervously twisting the end of her long ponytail.
Tomiko had long ago given up on breaking her of the habit, but frowned nonetheless as she said, "That's lovely, dear." Her brush moved rapidly as she recorded the syllables on a rough piece of paper, and she asked, "Does it concern the family?"
"I'm not sure," Ume replied, taking a seat next to the Lady of the clan, "I think... there are two of our family associated. Or maybe just one. The other... is hard to hold on to, like he's only partially there, or only partially human..."
"Well, I'm sure the meaning will become clear in time," Tomiko said, gently waving the strip of paper in the air to dry the ink. She would rewrite the poem on better paper later, and add it to the growing book of Ume's predictions. Not that anyone other than the pair sitting on the bench knew what it really was... Even Itachi believed it to be a book of poetry, harmless and irrelevant.
The sound of approaching voices drew Tomiko out of her momentary reverie, and she held up a warning hand so Ume would be silent. Leaning slightly, Tomiko peered through the obstructing wall of cypresses to see Itachi and his comrade Hiroshi walking towards the gate. They had their ANBU uniforms on, but their masks were pushed out of their faces for the moment.
"...anyway," Hiroshi was saying, his gravelly voice matching his rough speech, "the Baron of Waves apparently has a tasty little peach of a daughter, and the Archduke of Fire has a nephew who needs to settle down. So they banged out this deal where we get to kill a bunch of missing-nins, and then the nephew gets to bone the little bitch."
Tomiko scowled at the crude language, glancing briefly at Ume to make sure the girl would stay quiet. Ume was blushing, but subdued, so Tomiko returned her attention to the conversation.
"I'm kinda surprised you agreed to come along," Hiroshi said. "I thought you wanted a little break."
"Well, Sasuke's leaving on a mission today, so I've got nothing really holding me here," Itachi replied.
"...and that medic-nin you've been having afternoon coffee with for the past two weeks has also been assigned to this mission."
"You don't miss anything, Hiroshi."
"Comes with age."
Itachi reached out with one arm and intercepted a blur trying to pass him. "Don't leave without saying goodbye," he admonished his brother, who blushed slightly.
"Ta-chan, I'm gonna be late!" Sasuke complained as he was pulled into a rough hug.
"You can't possibly be later than Kakashi," Itachi said, releasing the boy and holding him at arm's length. His eyes narrowed, and he started adjusting the straps on Sasuke's pack. "Those will chafe if you don't keep them tight," he noted.
After a few moments, Itachi was apparently satisfied. "That'll do," he said, pulling his brother close again and kissing him on the cheek. "This time, you're the one who'll have to tell me all about your mission when you get back," he commented.
"I will, I promise," Sasuke said, and returned the kiss. Then he wriggled out of Itachi's arms and turned towards the exit.
"Take care of your teammates!" Itachi called, and Sasuke waved back as he passed through the gate.
"Cute kid," Hiroshi said as Sasuke jogged off down the road. "He yours?"
"'Roshi, you know I'm a virile man," Itachi replied, "but even I would have found it hard to sire a son at the tender age of ten. Much as I might want Sasuke to be my child, he's just my brother."
You're wrong, Tomiko thought as Itachi pulled down his mask, You're more a parent to him than either Nori or myself. He may not have come from your loins, but in every other sense he's your son, not Nori's.
As Itachi and Hiroshi took off towards the eastern gate, Tomiko allowed one of the waiting tears to escape, and whispered, "nor mine."
