Thanks for all your comments and reviews. I just want to pick up on a couple of things that were mentioned.
Lene, you said about how you felt Lydia and Abigail were trying to manipulate Emma Jane into taking the other option, and you're right. The way I see it, Lydia and Emma Jane never had a good relationship when Lydia was alive. She was spiteful and nasty to her sister and was only interested in money and status, traits that are clearly still there even after her death, although she is perhaps slightly nicer to Emma Jane now.
As for Abigail, she doesn't regret marrying Sully, but she does regret the fact that Hannah died and she wishes she could change that. She's trying to make Emma Jane realise that she can save her son by not choosing Hank. Hank's not going to die just because Emma Jane leaves him, but Will could die if she stays with him. Perhaps some people would say that any mother would choose to save her son, but Emma Jane loves Hank and she wants to have it both ways. Whether she gets it, is for the future…
New York City
January 1869
"Aunt Emma Jane, look at me!" Lucy twirled in front of her aunt wearing the pretty pink dress she had received for Christmas. Her bright eyes and infectious grin made Emma Jane smile.
"You look beautiful," she replied, "I don't think I've ever seen anyone look so pretty in a pink dress." She looked back down to where her son was sleeping peacefully in her arms. William Frederick Lawson was now almost a month old and, according to Doctor O'Neil beginning to thrive. The old man had been surprised, confiding in Emma Jane that he had been utterly convinced the baby was going to die.
"It's a miracle," he told her, "I suppose someone up there must be looking after him." Emma Jane had just smiled, knowing that there were lots of people looking after him. She was starting to feel stronger again after the influenza and while she hadn't fully regained her strength, she had been declared fit enough to travel home to Colorado Springs, and take Will with her. It was an exciting thought, returning to the place she called home.
Looking up, she caught Hank's eye from where he was sitting playing with Victoria in the corner. Ever since she had woken from her fever, he had been the model husband, unable to do enough for her, and every time she looked at him, she knew she had made the right choice.
"What time is your train tomorrow?" Mrs Brown asked.
"Eleven o'clock," Emma Jane replied, "We hope to be back in Colorado Springs by Tuesday."
"Are you sure you're feeling up to the journey?" her mother pressed.
"Yes Mother," she replied, touched by her mother's concern, "the train to Denver is very comfortable and while the stagecoach is a little bumpy it's perfectly adequate."
"But the baby…"
"He'll be fine," Hank chimed in, "Got his Ma to look after him, don't he?" He smiled at her and Emma Jane smiled back just as Will started to stir in her arms.
"I think it's time for his feed," she said, standing up. During his first few hours of life, Will had been wet-nursed by Cook's niece, who had also recently had a baby, but Emma Jane had been determined to take over the role herself, and with gentle persuasion, Will had eventually taken to her breast and she had felt the mother-child bond deep inside. The most humorous moment had come the first time she had fed Will successfully with Mrs Brown's shock at the fact that her daughter would allow her husband to be present for such an event.
"Don't you think he should wait outside?" she had said, horrified.
"No, I don't," Emma Jane had replied coolly, and her mother had closed her mouth.
She walked out of the parlour and started to climb the stairs up to her bedroom, gently rocking Will, who was starting to demand his dinner loudly.
"He a'right?" Hank asked, coming up behind her.
"He's fine," she replied, opening the bedroom door and sitting down in the rocking chair. She undid the buttons on the front of her dress and latched her son onto her nipple. Hank crouched beside her, gently stroking his son's head.
"He looks like ya," he said.
"Funny, that's what Mother said," Emma Jane replied, remembering her dream, "She said he had my eyes."
"He does."
"I think he has a look of his father too," she said, meeting his gaze. They both knew they could never tell, but somehow it felt better to say it.
"Reckon he'll grow up to be just like me," Hank replied.
"What, hard living and hard drinking?" Emma Jane joked, "Maybe he'll decide to be dry."
"Not livin' in the saloon," Hank replied. "Gotta partake of the product. Even his Ma's bin know to do that." He nudged her affectionately.
"Yes well," she replied, "Probably the less said about that in this house, the better. Once we're home I can return to my disgraceful ways." She looked back down at her son, "Doctor O'Neil said he might have some problems later in life, because of what he went through."
"Then we'll deal with 'em." Hank looked squarely at her, "We're gonna be a'right ya know."
Emma Jane bent and kissed him, "I know."
"Emma Jane!" Thomas's voice floated up from the staircase, "Supper's ready!"
"Coming!" she called back as Will finished suckling. She handed him to Hank while she re-buttoned her dress and stood up. For a moment, she stood watching the two of them, father and son, and smiled.
"What ya grinnin' at?" Hank asked, catching her look.
"Nothing," she replied, "Just watching the two of you together makes me feel good inside. As if he marks the start of a new chapter in our lives. So many things have happened Hank, and I just want everything to be perfect from now on."
"It will be," he said, handing Will back to her, "I love ya, and I love our children and I promise ya, I'm gonna make everythin' up to ya."
"You don't have to make anything up to me," she told him, "I just want us to move on, and be a family again."
"Yeah…" Hank trailed off, "Reckon if we're startin' over, we shouldn't have any secrets."
"Don't tell me you have a skeleton in your closet that I'm not already aware of," she teased.
"Well…just reckon I oughta tell ya…"
"Emma Jane!" this time it was her mother, "How many times? Supper is ready!"
"Coming!" she called back again, "Come on. Whatever it is, I'm sure it can wait until after we've eaten." She put Will down in his cot and then took her husband's hand as they walked downstairs.
Hank followed her, nervously running over in his mind what he was going to tell her. It had been one of his many deals with God. If he spared Emma Jane and the baby, Hank would tell her all about what had happened between him and Jessica. At first, he had questioned whether there would really be any point. Jessica was long gone and Emma Jane need never know what had gone on. But then he reminded himself that it was secrets and lies that had threatened to destroy their relationship before and it was time they mended their ways. He knew she would be angry and rightly so, but he could only hope that she would at least understand.
They arrived in the dining room just as the others were all taking their seats and Mrs Brown looked at them disapprovingly. Emma Jane just smiled, savvy enough to realise that just because her mother had softened in one respect, didn't necessarily mean she was going to become a new woman overnight.
"Sit beside me, Aunt Emma Jane!" Lucy declared loudly.
"All right," Emma Jane replied, sitting down next to her niece. It was quite a gathering at the table; Mr and Mrs Brown, Hank and Emma Jane, Thomas and Clara and Sarah, Lucy and Victoria.
"Do you have to go home?" Lucy asked.
"Yes I do," Emma Jane replied, "Hank and I have to take Victoria back, and introduce Will to his new home."
"But why can't you stay here?" the young girl's eyes filled with tears.
"Because I just can't," Emma Jane replied, "My home's in Colorado Springs and I have to back there. But you're welcome to come and visit whenever you like," she gave her a quick hug, knowing that the child was missing a mother figure in her life.
"You are going to come back for the wedding though, aren't you?" Clara asked anxiously.
"Of course," Emma Jane replied, "we wouldn't miss it. But you have your trip to Europe to look forward to first. It must be so exciting to think of all the wonderful places you'll be visiting."
"Speaking of visiting," Mrs Brown chimed in, "Frederick, when are you going to invite that new banker of yours round for dinner? I'd really like to meet him at some point."
"New banker?" Emma Jane asked.
"Father hired him a few weeks ago," Thomas informed her, "Nice enough guy. Frank, isn't it?"
"Frank Williams," Mr Brown replied.
Emma Jane started to choke on her soup and began coughing loudly. Hank rubbed her back gently, "Ya ok?"
"Yes…" she wheezed, "fine. It just…went down the wrong way…" she coughed again and took a drink of water, "Frank…Williams?"
"Yes," her father replied, "He's from Washington originally, but he moved to New York in the summer to work for Jackson West. But naturally, he realised that our bank was much more prestigious and he came to work for us. You'd like him," he added, "on a purely plutonic level, of course," he said, glancing quickly at Hank.
"I'm sure I would," Emma Jane replied. She could hardly believe that something in her dream was real. That there really was a Frank Williams out there, a man she didn't know, that she could have been destined to be with. What would it be like if she met him? Would she fall instantly in love with him and want to be with him? Would she up and leave Hank without a second thought?
"Emma Jane?" Thomas's voice broke through her thoughts.
"What?" she asked, coming back to reality.
"I asked you how Mrs Kimble was doing."
"Oh, she's fine," Emma Jane replied, "She's living in another boarding house at the moment with Peter and Kevin, but she's hoping to establish her own again soon. And she said I could stay whenever I wanted."
"Yes, well, look what happened last time you stayed in one of her establishments," Mrs Brown sniffed, "You almost lost your life and those of your children."
"It was an accident, Mother," Emma Jane said, "it was a cigarette that was dropped in the kitchen by one of the residents."
"A disgusting habit," Mrs Brown said, glancing at Hank who merely smiled at her.
The remainder of the evening passed in good humour, the family sharing stories and anecdotes, causing Emma Jane to laugh until her sides hurt. Then, everyone turned in, exhausted after another long day,
Emma Jane closed the bedroom door and started to unbutton her dress. Hank hovered nervously in the corner, trying to find the right way to begin the conversation. Her dress fell to the floor and her underwear followed suit and she climbed into the bed.
"Emma Jane…" Hank began, "We gotta talk."
"Do we have to?" she replied, pulling the covers up to her neck and looking at him seductively, "I was thinking that we could do something other than talk." He looked at her questioningly, "What I mean is, this is the first night since Will was born that I feel…ready."
Hank took her meaning instantly and smiled. There was nothing he would like more than to spirit her away on a wave of passion, but there were things that needed said first, "Just think we oughta talk about some stuff, that's all."
"Uh huh," Emma Jane scooted her body closer to his and gently kissed his broad shoulder, trailing kisses along it and up into the crease of his neck.
"Emma…" he tried to protest, but she continued along his throat and up to his earlobe, all the time her hand moving down his bare chest. As her mouth moved across his cheek and met his own, he responded to her hungrily, six months of pent-up passion, foiled at the previous attempt, straining to be given free rein. He flipped her over onto her back and was about to give her what he knew they both wanted, when common sense burst forth again and he pulled away from her. "Can't," he said, breathlessly.
"What is it? What's wrong?" she asked, "You won't hurt me or anything. I'm ready, I told you."
"Ain't that," he replied, pulling himself up into a sitting position, "Ain't worried about that. I mean, I am, but…" he sighed and ran his hand over his face, "It's somethin' else."
Emma Jane sat up too and looked at him, "What?"
"Before ya left…ya know about…me and Jessica…"
"Of course," she replied, "I know why you did it and I forgave you. It's all in the past, Hank, it doesn't matter now," she reached for him again, but he drew back.
"It ain't in the past," he said carefully, "After ya left…it…well it…went on."
Emma Jane blinked, "What do you mean?"
"I mean I…went to her…after ya left." He looked sideways at her, "I lay with her."
What he was telling her, finally registered and she looked away, "I see."
"It didn't mean nothin'," he continued quickly, "Weren't like I was in love with her or anythin', Fact is, was thinkin' bout ya the whole time, wishin' it was you I was lyin' with." He sighed, "Then she started gettin' ideas, like she was gonna take yer place. Couldn't have that, so…I kicked her out." He looked at her, "That's the truth, Emma, all of it. Didn't want to start a new life with ya and not tell ya. Wanted to be honest." He paused, "Ya mad at me?"
Emma Jane sighed, "No, no I'm not mad. I'm just…I don't know…sad I suppose."
"Sad?"
She nodded, "That our relationship got to such a point that it would happen. Until all of this, I always thought we were unshakable, that nothing would ever come between us. And yet something did and we parted and…" she sighed again, "I don't blame you for things that happened back then, Hank. I understand why you did what you did and I could never hold it against you."
"Yer serious?"
"Yes," she smiled gently, "You've taken me back, taken on a child that you don't even know is yours…how could I hold a little indiscretion like that against you? It wouldn't be fair." She kissed his shoulder again, "This is our new start. Whatever happened before doesn't matter and that includes Jessica." She paused, "But she is gone?"
He nodded, "Ain't gonna come back neither."
"Then we have nothing to worry about, do we?" She moved closer to him again, "and you have absolutely no excuse not to ravish me right here in this bed."
Hank grinned at her, "Ain't gonna say no to that."
SSSS
The following morning, Emma Jane woke as the first pale light was beginning to shine on the world. She lay for a while just looking at the ceiling, thinking about how she was going home, back to the place she loved, with the people she loved. Turning to her right, she gazed at Hank lying sleeping beside her, an overwhelming feeling of love washing over her. He had been so gentle with her the night before, touching and teasing, reminding her just what their love had been all about before finally giving in and creating within her such sweet pleasure that she had clung to him and never wanted to let go. Then she had lain in his arms, feeling his heat beating against her back and slept peacefully, or rather for the few unbroken hours her son allowed her, safe in the knowledge that she was with the person she loved most.
At that moment, Hank stirred and opened his eyes, smiling as he caught her looking at him, "Mornin'."
"Good morning," she replied, reaching over to kiss him.
"How long ya bin awake?"
"A while. I was just thinking about how wonderful it will be to be back home." She sighed, "I never thought I would have admitted to missing the saloon."
He laughed softly, "Reckon ya couldn't be more of a country girl if ya'd bin born there."
"You think so? You don't still see me as some posh city girl who thinks she's better than everybody else?" Emma Jane teased.
"Ya weren't ever like that," he defended her, "Ya were just…different."
"Yes, well I'm looking forward to being 'just different' again, so unless you plan on us missing our train, I suggest we get up." She threw back the bedclothes and got out of bed, moving over to Will's cot where he lay contentedly looking up at her, "You must be getting hungry again little man," she cooed, picking him up, "time you had your breakfast."
While Emma Jane fed their son, Hank double-checked that they had packed everything they needed to take home with them. In a strange way, he would be sorry to leave New York. Being in the city and living in the Browns' house had given him a taste of what he could never give his own children. He could never give them the social circle, the money, the dresses, but Emma Jane could, and he knew it was tantamount to her love for him that she didn't want to stay.
Breakfast was a rather sombre affair. Neither Mr or Mrs Brown, or Thomas, wanted Emma Jane to leave. Mrs Brown had tried valiantly the night before to drop subtle hints that might convince her daughter to stay, but to no avail. Emma Jane had made up her mind and no-one was going to change it.
"The house won't be the same without you, Emma," Thomas said, "Without all of you," he added, "It'll be quiet again, for one thing."
"Imagine how pleased you'll be to have peace," Emma Jane replied.
"You are welcome to stay, Emma Jane," her father said, "you both are."
"Thank you Father, but I've been here long enough. It's time I went home," Emma Jane took Hank's hand, "We've already missed out on so much time together, and I don't want to miss out on any more."
"Well, if you're sure…" Mrs Brown said.
"We are, aren't we?"
Hank nodded, "Sure are. Can't wait to git her back to town."
"I'm sure you can't," Mrs Brown said, not wanting to dwell on the thought too much.
SSSS
The train station was busy, full of people milling around both leaving and returning from journeys, greeting loved ones and saying goodbye. Emma Jane felt as though there were a multitude of emotions running through her. She was looking forward to going home to Colorado Springs, yet she was sad to be leaving New York and her family behind. It had almost begun to feel like home again, despite everything bad that had happened.
"Are you sure you have everything?" Mrs Brown asked her, "Packages can get lost between here and Colorado you know."
"I know, Mother," Emma Jane replied, "We have everything." She rocked Will in her arms as he started to fuss, "I think we should maybe get on board and get him settled." Hank nodded and lifted Victoria in through the train door, before taking Will from his mother and following suit. "Thank you for letting me stay," Emma Jane turned to her father and hugged him, "thank you for everything."
"Oh, we didn't do much," Mr Brown replied good-naturedly, "You're our daughter, and you're welcome to stay any time."
"And you," she turned to Thomas, "You be nice to Clara."
"Aren't I always?" he responded with mock hurt as he hugged her, "We'll see you all for the wedding."
"Absolutely," she turned to her mother, "Good bye Mother."
Mrs Brown stepped forward and took her daughter stiffly in her arms, "Good bye Emma Jane. Have a safe journey home."
"Thank you," she replied, tears forming in her eyes, "I will."
"Oh, be off with you," Mrs Brown waved her away, "Your husband is waiting for you."
Emma Jane climbed on board the train just as the whistle blew and she leaned out the window as it pulled away from the platform, waving at the family she was leaving behind until they were but dots on the horizon. Then she closed the window and walked down the corridor to the compartment where Hank was waiting with the children.
"Ya a'right?" he asked, looking up as she came in.
"Yes," she replied honestly, "Yes, I really am."
Colorado Springs
"Aw Doctor Mike, it's nothin'!" Loren protested loudly, "Just a bit of pain, that's all."
"It looks like gout to me, Loren," Michaela replied, "You could come over to the clinic right now and let me take a proper look."
"I got customers to serve," he replied, "and there's the stage. There might be people on it need me."
Michaela thought this very unlikely, "All right, but promise you will come and see me later."
"Aw, all right, if it'll make ya happy."
"It will." She turned as the stagecoach pulled up outside Loren's store and the door opened. Hank climbed out first, holding Victoria and then he held out his hand to help someone else out, someone holding a baby, Emma Jane.
"Thank you," Emma Jane replied as her husband helped her down. She glanced around happily, "Home sweet home."
"Emma Jane!" Michaela exclaimed hurrying over.
"Michaela," Emma Jane hugged her.
"It's wonderful to see you! And this…?" she indicated the baby.
"This is my son, Will," Emma Jane replied, "Well…our son Will." She glanced at Hank.
"He's beautiful," Michaela replied, "but I don't understand…"
"It's a long story," Emma Jane replied, "I'll tell you another time." She looked over at the saloon, "I'm just glad to be home."
"C'mon," Hank put his hand on her back, "let's git ya and the baby inside." He nodded to Michaela and then propelled Emma Jane towards the saloon door.
"I hate to think how much money we've lost over the last month," she said as he opened the door and let her go in. She looked around at the familiar surroundings, "It'll take a while for business to get back to what it was."
At that moment, however, Jake appeared at the door, "Ya open for business?" he asked.
Hank grinned, "Yup. Whisky?"
"What else?" Jake replied, setting his hat down on the bar. As Hank poured the drink for him, more and more men started to come in.
"What's that ya were sayin'?" Hank said to her.
"I take it back," she smiled, "I take it all back." She watched as he spoke to the customers, traded banter with them and occasionally grinned in her direction. 'I love you,' she thought to herself, 'I love you so much.' Then she turned and, holding Will in the crook of one arm, and Victoria's hand, she took her children upstairs where the girls were waiting to welcome her back.
"We missed ya," Mandy said, "But was it nice being back home?"
"This is home, Mandy," Emma Jane replied, "It always has and it always will be. This is home."
THE END
Well, I reckon I have one more story in me about Hank and Emma Jane set…you've guessed it…sixteen years from now and I can give you the synopsis now…
Tensions run high when sickly troublemaker Will Lawson begins to show romantic interest in Katie Sully. Meanwhile as Emma Jane's attacker is finally brought to justice, Hank begins to doubt his son's parentage.
Hopefully coming soon!
