Thayvian Technique

Can the arrogant Red Wizard live up to his boasts or is his mighty staff just a little stick?

disclaimer: all characters,settings,ect. are taken from the game Baldur's Gate SOA and belong to Bioware or whomever with the exception of Thima who is my own creation. Crudity and some sex, minors should go away now. I am not getting paid for any of this and am writing purely for the fun of it.

Rated R for vulgarity and gratuitous sex scenes

Mutual Insults

"Greetings, I am Edwin Odesseiron. You simians may refer to me merely as 'Sir', if you prefer a less...syllable intensive workout."

Thima looked at the arrogant twit in front of her and only one thought crossed her mind. Why me? I'm kidnapped by an insane mage who wants ta fuck wi' me body and mind 'cause me ma shagged the god of murder. I fight me way out of his clutches only ta have me darlin' stepsister Imoen snatched away from under me nose. I need ta get cash ta find Imoen and that's why I'm here workin' with th' most annoyin' wizard I've ever met. She looked at her companions. Jaheira the uptight druid, Anomen the priggish warrior-priest, and Korgan the decidedly non-priggish dwarf. All of them looked ready to strangle the wizard in front of them.

"Alright squidbrain, let's get somethin' straight right now." Thima said, waving a fist under Edwin's nose. "I'm workin' for yer boss, not for yerself. Ye don' talk down ta me or I'll rip that pretty lil' nosering of yers right outta yer head."

"The little girl wants to play does she?" He said with a sneer. "You cannot hope to match the stunning intellect of Edwin Odesseiron. (Simpering monkey-brain.)"

Thima walked close to the wizard and pressed close to him so her breasts touched his chest. She smiled when he shivered. "Ye have to remember one thing Eddie," she said. "A wizard is only as good as his staff. Don' cross me," she ran a hand down the wizard's chest and kept going until she reached his crotch. She felt his body start to respond to her touch as his eyes unfocused and his breathing quickened. Oh yes, she thought, all men are idiots when their blood flows downwards. Thima then squeezed hard and Edwin gave a little yelp. "Don' cross me," she repeated, "or ye'll be a very sorry wizard indeed."

Later, after Thima and her companions had offed Edwin's boss for a substantial reward she let Edwin join her troupe. Anomen almost had a stroke sputtering about evil wizards.

"And, my lady," the priest had whispered, red-faced. "Have you heard the tales about those Thayvian wizards?"

"Why no, do tell." Thima said innocently.

"It's said they spend as much time studying the er ... baser acts between men and women as they do studying magic."

"Masters o' tantric magic? Sounds right good ta' me." Thima answered, licking her lips.

"My lady!" Anomen gasped in horror. "You should not jest of such things."

"Ain't no pansy mage can match the lusty wiles o' Korgan th' dwarf. Ain't that right sweetheart?" Korgan said snaking a hand up Jaheira's thigh.

Thwack! Jaheira slammed her staff onto Korgan's head. "Filthy creature. Touch me again and I'll pull your stunted cock out by the roots and stick it up your own ass."

"Oh look guys, th' priest just fainted. Funtime's over, I'm goin' ta bed." Thima said, getting up and leaving the druid and the dwarf glaring at each other.

Thima was feeling very excited. Something about the wizard just made her knees shake. She shed her clothes and began pleasuring herself. Umm, that cute little beard, those long graceful fingers. Thima was very glad she had copped a feel. Oooh, and those deep red robes he wears, I'll bet he never takes them off ever. Oh yes, Thima thought once her breathing had slowed, I think I'll like havin' Eddie in th' party. Just 'cause a girl's fightin' for her life doesna mean she canna have a little fun. Though, she smiled wickedly, I think I'll make him wait a while first. That ego o' his doesna' need feedin'.