AN: How have you been dearest, readers? So sorry for not updating in such a long time. You see it was really an impulsive moment I had posting the forewords. I don't start a story until I have a concrete storyline but somehow when the idea stuck my mind last time about the forewords, it wouldn't leave. So I had to plan more first before starting the real chap 1. Hehe. 'This time around'() I'll be attempting writing a lighthearted story so please bear with my weirdness. Hehe, oh well hope you all enjoy the chap!
Ryan: thank you!
piglet: hehe. sorry but this chap doesnt start w/what 'happens' in the forewords yet, this chap is almost like an introduction. next chap would be the real start.hope you still like it though
lostbeauty: thanks!
moonbeams-stardust: the main characters are lei and jing, yes.
Disclaimer: This story is made purely for fan service and I take no profit (just reviews that equal no amount of money to me ) in writing this piece of fiction.
Everytime I try to talk to you
I get tongue-tied
Seems like everything I say to you
Comes out wrong and never comes out right. . .Why Don't You and I, Chad Kroeger
Chapter 1: Why Don't You and I
He knew he shouldn't be out drinking. . . shouldn't be drowning away his misery with alcohol. . . shouldn't be thinking about her. . . but he also knew he couldn't help himself anyway. So even if this wasn't like him at all, Lei decided just for tonight it was alright.
Besides, Lei thought as he gulped down another glass of his Cognac, this was the last time he would be allowed these thoughts so until dawn breaks and it would be forever forbidden in the eyes on god and man, Lei determined that it was nothing wrong reminiscing for the last time about Shan Cai.
Shan Cai. She was marrying his best friend Dao Ming Si tomorrow. On the very church he urged Dao Ming Si to proposed to her. On the very church he saw her shed so many tears for Ah Si. . .
But it's not like he was holding resentment against two of his dearest friends, actually, he surprised even himself on how quick his wound began to heal in the last few months after they got back together but he guessed when the remaining last few days until the wedding finally really sunk into his soul, he just couldn't help thinking how once more he was losing another woman he had loved. . .
Another woman he had loved. . . the thought suddenly made Lei forget all about Shan Cai. . . instead, he began thinking about the only other woman that he had loved. . .
How his heart suddenly sped up was definitely unexpected. . .
To Lei, more terrifying than actually waking up hours before his fifteen-hours custom, was actually waking up to realize he wasn't on his bed.
His eyes grew impossibly large. Well, not only was he not on his own hotel room bed, he was sleeping barely two feet away from a sleeping figure with an unbelievable amount of hair. To his horror, he realized he even had one hand tangled into silken tresses that fanned the space between him and what seemed suspiciously female body.
Looking down at himself, Lei heaved a sigh of relief to see himself still completely dressed. Whatever happened last night – which obviously didn't go very far – was nothing but alcohol-induced.
Brushing his long hair off his face, Lei cursed silently. He had to get out of this place soon. In a few minutes, F3 would come knocking on his room to wake him up. They'll get heart attacks when they realized he was already awake or worse, Lei thought grimacing, when they realized his bed hadn't been slept-in.
Turning back to the girl, Lei was surprised to find his hand still buried into her hair. He slowly pulled his hand away, trying to ignore how soft and incredibly fragrant they were. Frowning, Lei wondered momentarily whether she too was under the influence of alcohol last night, and whether that was why they ended up in this predicament. But whether she was, that didn't explain how he ended up in her bed either.
Lei very well knew he could be pretty extreme when he was depressed. He could only wished last night only consisted of heavy flirting, like what happened with him when he came back from France years ago; he hated to think he actually made-out with just some random girl.
Thinking about France suddenly made Lei think of Jing. . .
And just as he thought of Jing, the girl began to slowly stir. A fragile hand reached up to brush her hair off her face. . .
"Jing. . . " He couldn't help how his voice came out the way it did, the way he would speak in a nightmare.
In a rush, events of last night returned to Lei. He was moodily drinking away his misery when Jing's name came to his mind. The fool he was, he left his hotel room only to go directly to hers. He remembered her surprised face when she opened her door. Before she could utter more than his name, Lei remembered tumbling forward, murmuring her name. He must have lost consciousness soon after.
Back to the present, Lei was still staring at Jing, a gnawing feeling of uneasiness eating at his stomach.
Oh. So he did it again, only this time the situation a bit reversed. When before he went home from France all depressed because of hearing Jing's upcoming wedding with that French businessman, he went after Shan Cai to escape his misery; and now? Because Shan Cai was getting married, he went after Jing to forget? Ah, the irony of his life. . .
Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Lei kept scolding himself.
But as if reading his mind, Jing smiled. A smile full of reassurance at understanding.
"Are you okay, Lei? I hope you don't have much of a hangover, Ah Si would be very angry if you fall unconscious later at the wedding."
Her voice was teasing, obviously intended to ease the awkward mood that hung between them.
"I'm fine," Lei answered after a while. He had his eyes everywhere except directly meeting hers. Weird how he at twenty-three said he was over her and yet feel his heart pounding this hard when he had loved her for all throughout his young years and never been this flustered as he was now.
Effect of hangover? Still a projection of his depression? Or maybe it was simply the fact that he had never woken up in bed with a woman? He was still a man after all and he told himself it has nothing to do that the woman was Jing.
Sighing, Lei knew that he was deluding himself. The fact that it was Jing was the matter. Jing who he had rejected in this very city almost a year ago. . .
Finally, feeling he could no longer take the heavy atmosphere, Lei slowly sat up and quickly reached to help Jing too. She eyed his hand uncertainly for a second before accepting it and letting him help her sit up.
The moment he had her in a sitting position, Lei pulled his hand away.
"Well, um. . . I should go now. . . F3 might go to my room any second now and. . . "
Jing was quick to agree. "Yes, see you later then."
Lei nodded; he quickly stood up and walked towards the door. When he reached it though, he turned back to find Jing looking down at her lap.
"Jing." She looked up, surprised.
Though he told her they would always be friends, Lei knew nothing would be the same again between him and Jing. And though they would always have special places in each other's hearts, Lei knew their story really has ended.
She had hurt him and he hurt her too. More than guilt, Lei felt remorse for that because they did share a wonderful childhood together. In the very least, Lei wished they could break away from their awkward relationship now and regain even some semblance of the past.
"Thank you. . . for everything." And with that, Lei walked out the door.
It was definitely the wedding of the year, and not only because the groom had covered the tickets and hotel accommodations(which is not too much of a problem, considering his mother was the empress of the Maple Hotels) of all the five hundred guests, but because the groom and her bride looked so perfect together that they captured the attention of not only Taiwan and Asian but also Spanish and European media too.
Smiling to herself, Jing continued to watch the couple as they started to exchange their vows.
Oh, how time flies. Was it really only three years ago when she came home to find Ah Si and Shan Cai at each other's throats? Now here at St. Pons church they were, vowing everlasting love for one another.
Closely watching Dao Ming Si's glowing eyes, Jing felt a sudden spark of sentimentality. Oh lucky was Shan Cai to have someone to love her so much. But remembering how much Shan Cai cried only a year before when Ah Si went missing, Jing knew Shan Cai reciprocated Ah Si's feelings just as much.
Of course. Because if their love wasn't as true, Shan Cai would have long given up after all the hardship Dao Ming Feng had put her through. . .
If their love wasn't as strong, Ah Si would have never found his way back to Shan Cai after his terrible accident and amnesia. . .
And if their love wasn't so great, they wouldn't be able to put aside a friend's feelings just so they could be together. . .
Stealing a glance at Lei, Jing could only wonder what was going on in his mind and heart. Surely, he was breaking inside. The woman he loved was getting married after all.
Turning away, Jing lowered her head to her lap. The thought of Lei pinning for someone saddens her too. But not because she still felt for him like before when he rejected her but because for the first twenty something years of her life, she made it her responsibility to look after Lei. Her Lei. To know he was hurting and know she could do nothing to ease his pain left Jing feeling helpless.
Last night when he suddenly appeared at her door, Jing was quick to notice the smell of alcohol from him. He looked so vulnerable and she felt sad that she couldn't help him at all. They barely knew each other anymore after all. She was no longer the Jing he knew and he was definitely no longer her Lei.
Though it had hurt a lot for the first few months, Jing had learned to accept already. But she still wished the two of them could really stay friends just as he promised that fateful day almost a year ago.
The situation between them now however, Jing couldn't help doubting if they'll ever really even be friends at all. . .
"Care to dance?"
Surprised, Jing looked up to find Hua Zhe Lei offering a gentle hand to her.
Feeling her hesistance, Lei added, "Friends, right?"
At his words, Jing became thoughtful. But feeling some hundreds of pairs of eyes on them, it still took Jing a second before taking his hand.
Silently, they made their way towards the dance floor where they began to move awkwardly together. Such a lousy comparison to how they once danced together on her twenty-fourth birthday party before.
Realizing he had no intention of speaking up soon, Jing took a deep breath before speaking.
"Lei? Do you still like me?"
Pulling away, Lei was visibly shock. "What?"
Jing took another deep breath before continuing, "Don't you remember? You promised we'll always be friends, so I can't understand why we have to be this awkward now." Smiling, she reached up and brushed a lock of hair off his face.
"Tell me you no longer like me, so that we may start anew," Jing urged.
She saw the play of emotions in his eyes. Watched him carefully think over his next words.
"In other words, you're saying the past could ruin our friendship and so you want me to reassure you now that I no longer have feelings for you?"
Jing's smile was slight.
"Yes." Without flinching she met his gaze, "We have to bury the past if we want our friendship to work. Our story's ended and if we really want to be friends, he have to keep that in mind." She gave another slight smile. "Before you were my Lei, now, I want you to be the Lei who could just be my friend."
Jing stared long and deeply at Lei's. "I want you to tell me you feel the same."
For a long long while, Lei failed to answer. Finally he smiled back.
"From now on, you're just Jing." Suddenly, he pulled her closer and Jing had to squash away all her unexpected unnecessary feelings at his proximity.
"And you're just a friend."
"You should have told me first that you were coming over, you know," Teng Tang Jing said as she fell back on her couch beside Hua Zhe Lei.
Shrugging, Lei proceeded in pulling her closer to him.
"Then it wouldn't be very much of a surprise then, would it?"
Jing laughed heartily and adjusted her head more comfortably in his shoulder.
It has been a year since they were able to resolve their situation while dancing on Dao Ming Si and Shan Cai's wedding reception. Back then, though Lei had been a little skeptic of Jing's proposal, he went along as he really did not want to lose her as a friend. Now, a year later, his relationship with Jing had never been as comfortable or as close as it was ever before.
It's amazing how they could without reserved open up about everything about themselves now. Topics from Jing's daily admirers to Lei's recovery after Shan Cai.
Softly fingering Jing's hair, Lei smiled inwardly.
It was really funny how some things worked. A few years back, he and Jing had never even held hands when they had been – technically speaking –living together. Yet now here they were, all curled up in the couch, arms around each other like an old couple and yet they're just friends.
Of course there had been speculations about their friendship. Xi Men for example stubbornly insists a woman and a man can't be just 'friends' but Lei had learned how to turned the situation into his favot. Everytime Xi Men would start teasing, he would just had to bring up Xiao You and what Xi Men insisted as 'just friends' relationship with her and the famous playboy would shut up completely.
Even Xiao Qiao, normally very quiet, who let her fiancée do all the talking, even once voiced her own questions of his friendship with Jing.
"How special is Jing to you now?" she, with eyes innocent, had asked while taking a bite of the pasta Mei Zuo had dumped unto her plate. "Say, more special than Shan Cai?"
Ah Si, who had been wolfing down on his steak, had soon choked after.
Shan Cai – while pounding on her husband's back – had turned to Lei, intently waiting for his answer.
But Lei didn't answer, instead he asked Xiao Qiao the relevance of the question.
Blushing, Xiao Qiao explained she wasn't trying to pry. "I'm sorry it's just I couldn't help wondering if there's a chance of you liking her again." She bit her lip, turning to Mei Zuo as if asking for his help. But Mei Zuo, for once, couldn't say anything. He too seemed to be realized the possibility in Xiao Qiao's words for the first time. "I mean if you guys are so close then you two must hold special places in each other's hearts," Xiao Qiao finally said after seeing her fiancée only dumbly staring at her, waiting for her to continue.
It took Lei a long long time before he could compose himself. He gave the only answer he could have given at that moment.
"She's very special to me – aside the fact she was my first love but because we really are good friends now. I can see the trap in the question though so I can't say she's more special that Shan Cai now without you guys thinking the wrong thing. Jing and I have already decided to move on from our past and we're only friends now. We're happy being friends. And only friends we could ever be."
While Mei Zuo and Xi Men had simultaneous jaw drops, Shan Cai and Ah Si had both heavily sighed in disappointment. No doubt, they had been hoping for something more. Truthfully, such silly antics they try sometimes that then they seemed more like kids than a married couple expecting their first child.
Warm breath fanning against his face brought Lei out of his musings. With a start, he found himself staring back at Jing who was mere inches away.
"What are you thinking of?" she asked. Though there are times, most of the times, Lei could truthfully say his closeness with Jing sparks only platonic friendship, there were times too, times like these, that he would have his heart beat abnormally fast. And times like these, he would force himself to remember the promise they made.
We're just friends; you promised to feel nothing more, keep that in mind and you'll be fine, Lei.
Forcing a smile, Lei tried to answer casually. "Nothing." Before he knew it, he was leaning over and debating giving her a kiss. It was her lips he had almost aimed at. In the end, he settled pecking Jing's cheek. "It's nothing," he repeated huskily.
An awkward silence followed before Lei cheerfully broke it.
"Um, ah I have something for you!" With that he almost goofily jumped on his feet and ran to retrieve his things he left by the door of the apartment.
Moments later, Lei returned holding a beautifully wrapped box in his hands. Sitting back(but not as close this time) next to Jing, he handed her the box.
"Thank you," Jing said, slowly taking the gift. She stared at it for a while before looking back at Lei again.
"I'm suspicious," she declared, eyeing him carefully. "My birthday's still a month away."
Looking away, Lei explained softly, "Your graduation's next week." Gathering his courage, he turned back to her then smiled apologetically. "I'm sorry Jing but I can't go."
There was surprise all over Jing's face then it was quickly followed by disappointment. The look pained Lei as well. He reached out to take her hand into his.
"Hey, don't look like that. Look, I'm really sorry." He proceeded in pulling her to him and comforting stroked her hair and back.
"Jing, you know how much I want to see you receive your cumlaude but you also know the situation of our company for the last few years. My father is meeting with some possible new investors and he needs me there." Pulling back, Lei tilted Jing's head so they look at each other's eyes. "You understand, right Jing?" he half-asked, half-pleaded. He wanted her so much to understand.
Touching his cheek, Jing nodded. "Yes, of course I do." Then sighing, she went to explain. "I just feel sad that I don't have anyone to share this happy stage of my life." Pulling away completely, she sat back on the couch, shoulders sagging. "Little Ah Xu is barely four months old so Ah Si and Shan Cai can't make it. Mei Zuo and Xiao Qiao wouldn't be back from their honeymoon for at least another two weeks. Xi Men. . . well it's not his fault that my graduation falls on the same date of his mother's birthday." She sighed heavily again before forcing a smile. "Well, I still have my parents. Last time at Mei Zuo and Xiao Qiao's wedding, they seemed a bit more forgiving so who knows they might actually come and congratulate and be proud of me, right?"
It hurt seeing her trying to look as if she was fine for his sake. It hurt knowing he was hurting her by disappointing her like this. It hurt restraining himself from pulling her towards him to hold her and never let go.
Tucking a lose strand of hair behind her ear, Lei leaned to press – for a second time that day – a kiss on her cheek.
"Cheer up, Jing," he cajoled. "I'll definitely make up for this."
Her look of gloominess instantly seemed a notch lower. She raised an expectant brow.
Seeing her reaction, Lei himself lightened a bit. "The whole weekend of your birthday, I promise to spend it here." Promptly, he made a move of 'crossing his heart' marking it as a scared vow.
Laughing, Jing finally fell back to Lei's arms.
"Well Lei, just remember to keep your promise."
"Clarisse, I'm really sorry but I can't. I just can't take this case."
"Jing," a woman in her early forties began calmly. "I don't understand why you're doing this. You've read the case and you yourself said though it'll be hard, our client definitely has a point so why are you hesitating?"
Jing shook her head frantically. Had her boss just insinuated she was afraid of taking the case? She was seriously misunderstanding things then!
"I am not hesitating!" Jing protested. "It's just that when I found out the people involved in the case. . . " Jing shook her head, "I just can't. I can't."
Clarisse Morgantile sighed exasperatedly at the girl before her. For a girl who had defied society to pursue her dream, the Teng Tang Jing now sure was no way near that ambitious girl from four years ago. Though she had graduated law school cumlaude and passed the French bar exam with flying colors, she was still yet to get her first case. For some new lawyers, eight months of waiting was probably enough to send them filing for psychological insurances but not Jing. Patiently, she said she was waiting for the right case. And if possible - she had already taken the Taiwan bar - she wanted her very first case to be from her homeland.
And as Clarisse watched, Jing's lip trembled helplessly and Clarisse felt her heart go to her.
"I'm really sorry but I can't fight Lei," she whispered.
Patiently, Clarisse walked over to take the seat before Jing. She had known the girl for more than four years and she knew it must be hard for Jing to just throw away her past just to chase after her dream. With a look into her face, Clarisse knew Jing missed the people she left behind. And yet now, not only was she not asking her to return to them but she was also asking her to fight against them? It was as sad as a tragedy could be.
"Jing, I don't know as much but I know that this Hua Zhe Lei is a very special person to you-"
"We're just friends," Jing quickly explained. Clarisse could have sworn there was suddenly a rush of blood on her cheeks. "Just friends."
"Okay if you say so but the point is you wanted to become a lawyer by yourself. A lawyer who wants to help and you yourself said there was no way Mr. Tung was at fault. You, yourself said you want to go back and practise law on Taiwan. This is your chance, Jing." Clarisse stared at Jing, "What are you waiting for?"
For a long long while Jing remained silent. Finally, she smiled determinedly. It reminded Clarisse of the Teng Tang Jing she first met years ago.
"You're right. I have decided to become a lawyer to help my oppressed countrymen and I have resolved not tolerate anyone, and that includes even those people dearest to me."
Jing took a deep breath. "Fine. I'll take the case."
After resolving their past, would Lei and Jing's relationship fall back once more now that Jing is to be an attorney of law against Lei? Find out next chapter, And So It Goes. . .
AN: I hope no one is confused. Please 'insert' the forewords after this chapter. Hehe. Only the first chap and I think I'm failing miserably already coz wasn't it a little heavy? And I said this story is supposed to be lighthearted? Oh well, tell me how bad was the chap guys. Tell me anything! I really hope to read your comments! Thanks all in advance!
