Chapter Four
Sandy strolled into the bedroom just in time to see Kirsten patting her face dry with a towel. She avoided his eyes as she busied herself putting discarded clothes and shoes into the closet. Sandy wasn't fooled for a second. He hadn't been married to this woman for twenty years without being able to sense when she was upset.
"Would I be right in supposing you've just spoken to your father?" he began tentatively.
Kirsten turned on her heels, her eyes flashing, the wall of tension between herself and her spouse temporarily forgotten as she pleaded for understanding.
"All I wanted was for us all to get together as a family and celebrate with Ryan, it's not much to ask is it? I just don't understand him Sandy, it's not as if Ryan's a murderer or a drug dealer. He's a kid who made one mistake!"
Sandy approached his wife, his arms outstretched, pulling her into a bear hug. He stroked the back of her hair affectionately. It felt good to hold her familiar body so closely.
"So does this mean we'll be free of the Gruesome Twosome tomorrow night?" he asked, unable to keep the pleasure he felt from creeping into his voice.
Kirsten pulled away and hung her head, unable to look at her husband directly. She knew Sandy was not going to be happy when he heard what she was about to say.
"I lost my temper with him…" she whispered.
"Good! You should do that more often…"
"No Sandy, you don't understand. I threatened him and then I told him about wanting to adopt Ryan…."
Sandy's face fell in horror.
"You told him what?"
"I'm sorry, I couldn't help it Sandy, it just slipped out…"
"But we haven't even talked to Ryan about it yet…. he does NOT need your father breathing down his neck while he tries to make a decision. How could you Kirsten? You know how your father feels about him!"
Sandy flung his arms up in frustration and began pacing the floor like a caged tiger. He'd wanted to keep Caleb out of the picture for as long as possible.
"I said I was sorry Sandy," Kirsten snapped, folding her arms obstinately. She was in no mood to be lectured to by a man who had practically cheated on her. The frost between them was melting gradually and the common focus they had in dealing with Ryan was helping, but sometimes Sandy's 'holier than thou' approach could be hard to stomach.
Sandy stopped prowling and sighed irritably.
"Well, what's done is done. Let's just get this talk with Ryan over and done with as soon as possible."
"I'll be down in fifteen minutes," Kirsten promised, as she turned away to continue her tidying. She winced as the door slammed behind her.
Sandy headed to the kitchen and began preparing a huge plate of bagels. Piling high a tray full of the bagels and various additive filled snacks, which would no doubt make Seth even more hyper than usual, he walked through to the family room. On the journey home from the Court, they had stopped off at the video store and picked up a selection of movies to keep the whole family entertained, some martial arts for Ryan and Seth, some Sly Stallone for himself and a sappy romance for Kirsten, even though the three men in the house knew it would only be a few minutes before her eyes glazed over and she nodded off on the couch. He yelled to the boys to come in from the pool house and Kirsten emerged from their bedroom, freshly showered and changed into sweat pants and t-shirt. She stood toweling her hair dry in front of Sandy.
"You ready?" he questioned. She nodded.
Ryan and Seth threw themselves on the couch and helped themselves to a bag of chips each.
"Before you start digging into those, we'd like to talk to you both," Sandy began. Ryan shot a look at Seth. Seth nudged him and smiled encouragingly. Kirsten stood awkwardly in front of Ryan, rubbing her hands together nervously. Ryan put down his chips and swallowed nervously.
"Ryan," Sandy started, "let me just say first how proud we are of you…" A warm flush crept over Ryan's face, the pleasure he felt from Sandy's comments tempered by being the center of attention.
"Seriously, when you came into our family eighteen months ago, Kirsten and I could never have imagined how well this would all work out."
Ryan chewed at his lip. "Here we go," he reflected, "this is where the 'but' comes in…."
Sandy pressed on as the boy sat and regarded him in silence.
"Ryan, you've become a real brother to Seth and, well, Kirsten and I feel like we have gained another son."
Ryan's eyes darted between his foster parents. Sandy cleared his throat, clogged with emotion, before continuing.
"What I'm trying to say Ryan, in not a very clear way, is…" Sandy was floundering. Ryan was confused as to where this was leading. "What I want to say is that we'd like to make this arrangement more formal. We would like, if you're in agreement, to adopt you…"
Ryan's head shot up and his eyes grew wide as he took in exactly what Sandy was saying. One thing was for sure; he'd not expected this. He glanced across at Kirsten and Seth. Seth was grinning foolishly.
Kirsten rushed to reassure him, sensing the boy's confusion.
"Now Ryan, you really need to take some time to think about this. This is your decision to make; you don't need to rush it. We don't want to try and replace Dawn and Trey, but we do want you, and others," she added pointedly, "to know that we consider you to be as much our son as Seth and we want you to have the same security in your future as he has in his, as much as any future can be secure," she shrugged. " If you want us to adopt you we'd be thrilled, but if you'd prefer the arrangement to stay as it is, then that's fine too, more than fine. A piece of paper won't change that you are part of this family. But we all felt it was time we made it clear to you how we feel about you."
Ryan glanced at the three Cohens in turn, his eyes registering a heady mixture of relief coupled with worry, confusion and a torrent of questions.
Sandy continued, "Ryan, if you decide this is what you want, I can't pretend it'll be easy. We will need to get your mother's consent for a start and possibly your father's." Ryan shot him a look. Sandy knew that mention of his father would touch a raw nerve.
"What can my father possibly have to do with this? I haven't seen him since I was eight." He spoke through clenched teeth.
"Well," Sandy continued, "I need to look into adoption law, it's not really my specialty, but Marlene will be able to talk us through some of the issues more fully. I know for one thing that your mother would be expected to relinquish all parental rights over you…"
Ryan snorted bitterly.
"Didn't she do that when she walked out on me?"
"Well, yes, kind of," agreed Sandy, "but she'd be required to sign a legal document this time. I'm not sure how easy she would find that…or how easy you would find it for that matter." Sandy paused and studied Ryan. He'd known that bringing up the idea of adoption would dredge up old feelings that Ryan may prefer to keep buried, but it was essential that the kid knew all the options before making a decision.
"Ryan," Sandy continued seriously, leaning forward to touch the boy's shoulder, "the last thing we want is for you to feel that you have to give up your mother. A piece of paper with a signature on won't change the fact that she is your mother. But what it will do is show you and the outside world, that you are a part of this family.
Miraculously, Seth had stayed quiet all this time, watching his friend for any sign as to what his decision would be. He could contain himself no longer and slapped Ryan on the thigh.
"So what do you think buddy? Do you want to become a Cohen? Do you want to sign yourself up to a life of insecurity and paralyzing self doubt?"
"Seth!" Kirsten broke in warningly, "Ryan must have time to make this decision on his own. We don't want you hounding him…"
Ryan smiled fondly at Seth's enthusiasm and then looked across at the boy's parents, to these strangers who had taken him in, fed him, clothed him and sheltered him for almost two years. A rush of affection for them coursed through his body. Ryan wasn't sure if it was love exactly, but then he'd never been very good at realizing he loved people. Sometimes he wondered if you only realized you loved someone when you were about to lose them, like when his Mom had thrown him out. At the time he'd thought he was just frightened, of being alone at sixteen with nowhere to go, but he'd understood over time, when pangs of homesickness would hit him at unexpected times, that it hadn't been that at all. Sometimes you don't know what you've got until it's gone.
Ryan leant back in his seat and took a deep breath. He didn't want to lose any more people he loved and he didn't need time to think about it.
He looked up at the three Cohens, all standing watching him intently and gave them a shy lopsided grin. "So will I have to start calling you Mom and Dad…..?"
Kirsten leapt up in excitement and drew him into a hug.
"Calling us Kirsten and Sandy just like you've always done will be fine" she laughed.
Seth walked up to Ryan and slapped him on the back.
"So Dude, brothers now huh? Cool!"
Sandy watched his family from the sidelines before moving over to Ryan and grasping his hand firmly. Their eyes locked briefly as they both reflected upon the meeting that had brought them to this point.
"See, I told you, you could do worse!"
Ryan nodded. No more words were needed. He knew they wanted him and they knew he wanted them. Nothing else mattered at this point.
Julie Cooper-Nichol knocked lightly on her daughter's bedroom door.
"Marissa, honey are you in there?"
Marissa rolled her eyes at the sound of her mother's whine and continued brushing her hair.
"Yes mom, what is it?"
Julie sidled into the room. Her daughter didn't bother to look away from the mirror she sat in front of.
"You haven't forgotten we are due at the Cohens' at seven now have you?"
"No mom, I haven't forgotten. Now was there anything else?" Marissa turned her doe eyes towards her mother pointedly, wishing she'd get the hell out of her room.
"I was just checking. You remember what I said Marissa, about being a dutiful step- daughter. That includes being polite and gracious to Caleb's family."
Marissa put down her hairbrush with a sigh and swung round to give her mother a withering look. She turned back to the mirror and continued brushing.
"What's the occasion anyway?" she asked nonchalantly.
Julie stopped at the door.
"I'm surprised you didn't know. Ryan has been taken off probation," she announced, adding dryly, " Kirsten wanted to hold a dinner to celebrate." Marissa ignored her mother's obvious dig that her relationship with Ryan was now so tenuous that she had not been told about the probation.
"And she invited you and Caleb?" Marissa asked incredulously.
Julie bristled.
"Kirsten, in her misguided way, wants this to be a family celebration. She insisted to Caleb that we be there."
"But you both hate Ryan!"
Julie shrugged, clearly rattled.
"Well, you know what Kirsten and Sandy are like, very BIG on family…"
Marissa sighed. Poor Ryan. How could this party possibly be fun for him?
tbc
