Author's notes: Well, this was really tough to write. It's based on the moment Mara finds out the truth from the Noghri, but I had to add the flashbacks to completely convince her that it's not some Jedi trick. I hope it's realistic... and I'd really appreciate reviews of this chapter. Many thanks, guys.
King of the world – no one dares disobey the Mad King, including me. Here is the next chapter, my liege. :)
Sithspawned – thanks. Here you go.
Urazz – well, you know Yoda – he had to tease her a bit. Plus, I love when he goes all "Ooh." I found the original script of ESB on the net, so some of the lines came from there.
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Chapter VII
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"Calm, you must be. Of emotion, clear your mind, you must."
I've been listening to the imp for about ten minutes and his grammar was already annoying me. Not that I wasn't listening to what he was saying, but it was all so... different. Whereas the Dark Side required passion and emotion, the Light seemed to be based on emptiness. This would prove difficult.
I shook my head in frustration – I have never tried meditation before and trying to learn it in a few minutes seemed impossible. But the fact that my Master was no longer... present, you could say, made emptying my mind somewhat easier. It really seemed to be a void, without the bond. Strange, really. I felt... peaceful. Somewhat peaceful.
Yoda nodded in approval, "Good, good. Without Palpatine´s influence, focus clearly, you can. Strong hold over you he has, not easily broken. Placed at a young age, the Force bond was. Through it, enslaved you, he had. A threat to him, you could be, if discovered your own abilities, you would."
"Why?" I frowned, my eyes still closed. "Vader wields the Force freely and my Master never thought him to be a threat. At least until your Boy Wonder appeared."
I sensed that Yoda arched an eyebrow, but was amused at the same time. After a moment of silence, "What of Vader, you know?"
"The last of the Jedi, the last of the Sith Lords. Powerful, cruel, but at the same time, foolish. Not exactly my favorite person." I said flatly.
"And of Skywalker?"
I shrugged slightly, "All Rebels are alike. This one thinks he's mighty because he doesn't decapitate himself when he swings a lightsaber. Nothing special."
"The true meaning of your mission, hidden, the Emperor has. A tool, you were to be."
"The Emperor's orders are not to be questioned." I retorted, slightly snappishly. I was finding it difficult to stay calm – I wasn't exactly sure who my mentor was anymore. Was it the one I called Master my whole life, or the one who's words I was listening to now?
Suddenly, "Son of Vader, Skywalker is."
My eyes popped wide open, though I made no other move. The statement... that... no...no...
I observed the Jedi's face, searching for any hint of sarcasm, any kind of lie...but saw nothing but the truth there. He dropped any kind of mental barriers, even opened his mind to me. My vision became clouded, before I "appeared" in a completely strange environment.
I saw some sort of building – it was like a vision, but it was too realistic. I was sitting in a comfortable chair in a circular chamber, an aura of compassion surrounding me. My black outfit was gone, replaced by simple robes. Next to me sat an obviously tall, dark skinned bald man, dressed in a mahogany cloak and coffee colored robes, not so different from mine. I didn't fail to notice the lightsaber on his belt. I then noticed that there were others in the room... I quickly counted the chairs – there were twelve of them, including mine. Their occupants were all sorts of humanoid species, but they all had three similarities. One – lightsabers, two – similar robes, three – Force strong auras that radiated something indefinable, something I couldn't quite describe. It was strong like the Dark Side, but it felt... warm. Welcoming. Pure.
"Young Skywalker's fate will be decided later." I heard myself saying. It was then that I noticed that there were people standing inside the circle – two men and a young boy, who seemed about eight or nine.
The taller man, the one whose aura reminded me so much of my own, frowned, "I brought Anakin here; he must stay in my charge. He has nowhere else to go."
Anakin... the name was familiar. I remembered vaguely that the data my Master showed me also included no information about Skywalker´s parents. Just their names – such records usually at least give a hint about their location or occupation. There was nothing there. Just the brief note that both were dead. Anakin. I think that was the father's name, yes. That made me realize that I was sitting among a group of Jedi – most probably Masters. And if Yoda was telling the truth, Darth Vader junior has just been rejected as a would-be Jedi apprentice. I didn't understand why.
"He is your ward, Qui-Gon...we will not dispute that." The man that was the first one I noticed said.
"Don't train him. Take him with you, but don't train him!" I added. I wasn't using Yoda-speak? Cool. Qui-Gon frowned. I didn't hear anything else... the sound had faded... and soon, the image did as well.
I was in a palace, though it certainly wasn't the dark Imperial Palace on Coruscant. Rather, it was full of light, goodness... as was the young man kneeling in front of me. By now, I had figured that I was reliving Yoda´s history, but it seemed that my height had remained realistic – I assume the man was kneeling because he wanted to look Yoda in the eye (and show the elderly Jedi respect). He seemed to be about as old as I am. And I have to say, for a Jedi, he was quite attractive. I sensed power around him... but grief as well.
"I gave Qui-Gon my word. I will train Anakin. Without the approval of the Council if I must." he said, lowering his gaze for a moment, as if the idea of disobeying the Council repulsed him, but he knew he had to hold true to his word. It would seem that Qui-Gon was dead, since this guy had to promise him to do something Qui-Gon himself wanted to do.
To my great surprise, I snorted, "I sense Qui-Gon's defiance in you. You don't need that." I paused, observing him for a second. "The Council agrees." I wearily admitted, "Young Skywalker will be your apprentice."
Again, I lost the image... replaced by quick flashes – a discussion with a group of Senators, where a human female (who somehow reminded me of Organa) asked me: "Do you have any idea who was behind this attack?" What caught my eye was Palpatine in the background – somewhat...younger. And his eyes weren't golden, from what I could see. Pre-Imperial days... the Old Republic.
I was talking to a young man – he seemed barely out of his teens – and I recognized him as Vader when he strode away from me, in the familiar brisk, I'm-better-than-you manner. Plus, he was the only Jedi wearing so much black. It was strange to look into a face different than the black breath mask and know that it was the same person I loathed and feared at the same time. The fact I still sensed the same goodness as in the other Jedi within him unsettled me. This was a really weird day.
I sat in a floating chair, in a spectacular temple. My surroundings practically oozed with power. I briefly caught a glimpse of the enormous room behind a large window we were walking past. Dozens of Jedi.
It seemed was discussing something with the man who was sitting next to me in the first vision and (to my surprise) the now changed young man who accepted Vader as his apprentice. I only recognized him because of the aura – his looks had changed quite a bit.
I was visiting a planet where all was white... tall slender aliens... and stormtroopers (though their helmets were funny). I was commanding stormtroopers, rescuing a bunch of Jedi from an arena filled with odd battle droids and dead beasts.
Then, I slowly walked into a dark chamber and faced an aristocratic-looking man, who seemed to have had pretty much kicked the crap out of Vader (how amusing) and his Master – both of them were on the ground nearby. I also noticed Vader had his first arm cut off. When I saw the all-too-familiar Force lightning heading my way, fear flashed through me. But my right hand instinctively flew up, palm opened... captured the bolt and I sent it right back. The man dodged and tried to fry me again. I absorbed the lightning this time.
I was stunned – I've never seen anyone handle the Force like that before. It seemed impossible! The lightning is considered to be one of the things Jedi could never use – and yet Yoda turned it against this Sith... Darth Tyranus, perhaps? I knew that my Master had apprentices before Vader, but they were all failures. A green lightsaber flied into my hand after the man admitted that this duel could only be fought with lightsabers... and the speed, the power Yoda (or I?) used during this duel was amazing. But thanks to the fact Vader had to survive, the Sith fled, knowing Yoda had to be noble and save him.
I was sitting in the Council chambers once again, saddened. I felt weary, though not from the battle. Something had happened... I lost something important to me. And danger. Danger was near.
"I must admit without the clones, it would not have been a victory." Vader's former Master said from nearby.
"Victory? Victory, you say?"I piped up. "Not a victory, it was a defeat... Master Obi-Wan." Obi-Wan? As in Obi-Wan Kenobi? That was a Republic general, an offensive is named after him, I think. So that would mean... oh, crap. "The Clone War has begun!"The...Clone War? So the Jedi will soon be wiped out... so... no!
I was suddenly blocked out of Yoda´s mind, though gently. I was stupefied. I couldn't think. Because I realized one thing. My Master wanted Skywalker dead as a personal revenge on Vader... not for his own sake. Not because it was vital for the Empire. I wasn't a servant – I was a mere tool. A tool of the Emperor, a puppet – and he was pulling my strings. My life, my entire purpose broke into pieces. How...? Why...? Have I not served him faithfully? Then why did he consider me a mere tool?
I was confused. This wasn't what... who... I wanted to be. I would serve the Emperor, but not as a tool! I am a person, a human being, who chooses to be a weapon of the Empire. But... I didn't want it to be like this. I wanted to have a choice. My decision to serve the Empire. My reasons to kill Skywalker. Not like this.
"Light and Dark, in each of us, it is. But the choice what to become we want, we all have." Yoda softly said, "Rest, young Mara. There is no emotion; there is peace."
I nodded, gritting my teeth. I had to be strong. I closed my eyes, remembering those two sentences as if my life depended on it, and finally, for the first time, united my mind completely with the Force. I have never felt so free.
