Author's Note: I'm warning you that there is a scene of a sexual nature for those who can't stand it, so please be aware.

Chapter 12: Sand and Water

Sanosuke and Misao had been venturing through the rows of small houses in the outskirts of Kyoto. The crickets were chirping amidst the spring evening air, and the sounds of children meeting for nightly visits to play with each other could be heard. It was dark, and Misao found her heart warm at the sight of the locals as they passed. One woman was outside with a bunch of other elder women. While the elders gossiped and laughed at the situations of those caught in promiscuous positions, the new mother entertained her toddler, bouncing him up and down in her arms. Their smiles and laughter were infectious, causing Misao to smile with them, not that it wasn't commonplace for her to do so.

"Sagara, do you think it's possible for people like us to actually live in a new era like these people?" Misao questioned as she tried to catch up to Sanosuke's swift strides.

"What are you talking about?" he grumbled, spitting out the toothpick onto the ground, "People live on despite the underground wars between drug lords and gangsters. For us to become like these people is to be oblivious."

"But these people aren't oblivious, they're just not acknowledging it. And if they are what you say they are, then I want to be oblivious as well."

He stopped and turned to her with a look of concern. She was so small compared to him. Her hands were fiddling with one another, and her eyes were downcast. The cool night air was beginning to prickle his skin with its cold touch, but he stayed still, adoring this innocent girl before him. No matter how many times she was hurt, there was always this innocence in her, something that didn't disappear through the rough times. It was something that could never be lost for she was still a dreamer. She still dreamed of being reunited with her brother. She still dreamed of living a normal life. And she hoped that Sanosuke would bring her a welcomed change of pace. She was still a girl in his eyes, still untainted not like him.

"Weasel, you can't change the past, but you can change the future. You will have this one day. I'll make sure of that," he then placed a hand on his chin, as if to imagine the future, and smiled, "In fact, I think that if I visit you, you will be in domestic paradise with two babies on your lap, two running around the house, and one on the way. Yeah...that's the way I see it. And you're husband will be the top...of the bottom of the barrel."

"SAGARA!" Misao exclaimed in a huff.

"No, no, I'm serious. You will be happy. And I will be happy because I have traveled the world."

"Probably because the police will still be looking for you for the many crimes you committed, so you probably had to leave Japan one way or another."

"No. I think it'll be because of my own personal venture. You just start looking out for guys because you're catching on in age."

"So are you!"

"You don't know how old I am." he replied smugly.

"And you don't know my age either." she retorted.

He turned on his heel, stuffing his hands in his pockets, and laughed at Misao. She crossed her arms.

"You're not very funny, rooster head!" she shouted angrily, and Sanosuke returned with a hearty laugh.

But his laughter stopped, and he froze as he saw one house at the end of the block of houses. Misao walked up until she was beside him and inspected the area he was gazing at.

"What is this place, Sagara?" she asked curiously.

This was the beginning of his story. This was where his earliest memories were made, and yet it was the one thing he found troubling to be associated with such a warm word.

"Home." he managed to say, but it almost became inaudible.

Suddenly, the door to the house slid open and an elder woman stepped out onto the porch. Her ebony black hair was swept back into a messy bun, keeping it out of her still youthful yet mature face. Her eyes were the color of Sanosuke's, a pale brown yet radiating with the experiences life had given her. Her kimono was plain, in the dark color of a navy blue, and her feet were bare. When she had come outside, her intention was to empty out the bucket of cleaning water in her hand, and she did just that. But she hadn't expected to catch Sanosuke just a few feet away from her property.

"Sanosuke...?"

Her voice was unsteady and unsure, but deep down, she knew that was her son-just grown up.

"Tadaima, 'kaa-san(1)." he said with a smile, but it hurt him to even do that.

His mother stood up holding the bucket in her hands as she weakly smiled. Misao stood there, unsure of what to make of the odd greetings between the two. Had what transpired between them years ago changed the bond between them?

"Okaeri nasai(2)."

Anji, my client, took me to a party the night he hired me to stay by his side. I was dressed in my finest kimono for him. Pure white silk with a navy blue obi-ironically bought with my saved up money from Tsunan. I loved it the most, and I had to use it for my first customer by Kanryu's orders. He had told me to dress my finest to show that I will be a suitable escort. I wanted to lock up my kimono from ever being worn, but it was the only "suitable" one I possessed. That night, Tomoe visited my room before I left and helped me with my hair. She was so delicate and refined in her ministrations. She was so talented, and for a brief second, I had wished with all my heart that I possessed her grace and position. She took care of the pins of my hair, placing them in the right places for the best effect of distinction.

Despite my hesitance, I went to the party and conversed with all the social elite. But they became tiresome for a while, and I was happy to see a familiar face. Mr. Himura, the man I had collided with in the marketplace and met while on a date with Tsunan, was there. He wore a dark navy blue gi and a white hakama to the party with his hair in its usual manner of being tied at the nape. I couldn't help but marvel of his youthful and handsome features. It was apparent as to why all the escorts were scorning me for speaking to him, and more importantly, he had approached me. Anji had been on the other side of the room with a friend of his. He had told me to stay in the same place, and he would returned, so I complied as a woman should.

Himura had spotted me from a few feet away and waved to me with a smile. I looked around, unsure if it was meant for me or someone else, and he laughed at my expense. I pointed to myself, index finger to nose, and he nodded. It was in this time that he came to my side and began to pull me in to joining with his infectious smiles.

"Kaoru-san, we meet again, and at another place with a politician-or rather many politicians."

"I suppose." I smiled back and inspected his face, "You know, Himura-san, I would never think that you could associate with these people-not that I'm saying Katsura is a man lacking with sincerity."

He chuckled and let his hands rest in his cuffs.

"Remember? I was a bodyguard back in the days of the revolution. Katsura mentioned it the last time we met."

I tried to muddle through my memories, only to be taken back to the present with only a trace of what transpired that day. Somewhere along the line, I had heard those words.

"Oh my goodness! You're right! But you can't be a day over 22, right?"

He shook his head with a sheepish smile.

"So you're...old?"

He flinched at the word and scratched his head.

"I mean, the revolution was a while ago. It ended back when I was a little girl, and I'm almost out of my teenage years-."

"You see, I was young myself when I took on a guard assignment."

"How young?"

"Fourteen."

My mouth gaped at the answer. I was confused.

"How could they recruit a fourteen year old into a war?!" I inquired with outrage.

"I had asked to offer any services possible. I guess I was pretty confident with a sword."

"'Pretty confident?' Yeah! You must've been really great at your age. So how old are you now?"

He stopped and pondered a second. My eyes practically bulged when I saw him start counting on his fingers well mentally noting how many years ago the war was.

"Hmm...let me see..." he murmured.

"Himura-san!" I exclaimed, "You don't know how old you are?"

He stopped counting and looked to me as if it was a stupid question to ask.

"I guess I never thought my birthday was too important." he said with a shrug.

"HIMURA-SAN!" I practically shrieked, but at a volume that wouldn't catch much attention, "You should always know your birthday!"

"Why?" he asked innocently.

"Because it's your birthday."

He nodded as if he understood, but he still continued with his point.

"Understandable, but if you don't know already, Kaoru-san, I live alone. I am dedicated to my students at my dojo. With so much going on, who has time to remember birthdays?"

"Your wife must be very unhappy with you around her birthdays."

"I don't have a wife."

"You-? You-what?"

I was at a loss of words. How could such a handsome-albeit petite-man not have a wife?

"I haven't found anyone who stirs me in such a way that would lead to marriage." he replied earnestly.

"Nobody?" I questioned in a small voice with utter disbelief.

"Nobody." he confirmed with a nod.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

I looked around the room to see all the daughters of politicians, the politicians' escorts and wives, and most of them had taken notice of Himura at first glance. They probably noticed because he had an usual hair color for a Japanese man, which was auburn, and that his eyes were a deep blue violet hue. But with these unique traits, he still was very handsome and had an almost transcendent beauty. I had seen one of the women out of the corner of my eye watching him coyly.

"You must see all the women in this room, right?" I asked while shifting my eyes from side to side to show the women all about us.

"Yes, I see them." he said with another laugh.

"And?"

"Nothing, Kaoru-san."

I sighed in resignation.

"Speaking of women with men, who are you with tonight? Is Tsukioka-san here? How is he?" he inquired politely.

I scoffed bitterly.

"You tell me. I haven't seen him in a long time." I replied with a smile so fake that Himura had taken notice.

He looked very puzzled by my words.

"I don't understand..." he murmured, and his eyes drifted upwards to see someone behind me, "Kaoru-san, would you happen to be here with Anji-san?"

"How did you know?" I inquired.

"He's been watching you."

"How do you know him?"

"He is a very dangerous man, someone you shouldn't associate with."

"I am his escort for the night, Himura-san. I have to go to him." I said abruptly.

"Just heed my words. I don't want you to get hurt." he said softly, "A girl as innocent as you shouldn't have to be with a man like him."

"I'll be fine, Himura-san. I will watch myself." I tried to say to ease his fears.

Somehow, I knew he didn't find any comfort in my words, but I left his side anyway. I walked towards my client who gave me a gracious smile as I stood by his side throughout the party. At one point, I did look up though, to see a pair of dark violet eyes that were protectively watching over me through the crowds. I knew Mr. Himura wanted to protect me, but it was my choice to go with Anji that night. It was my choice to leave Mr. Himura's side. I remember how much distress filled his facial features when Anji had told me that he was leaving. I left that night with a dissatisfied feeling in my stomach, and it didn't calm as the night went on.

Anji and I walked through the dark streets together. I slowed my pace to walk behind him as I rightfully should, and he simply grunted in approval. I kept my head bent to look at the ground. I didn't know why, but I felt this pit in my stomach getting heavier and heavier. My heart was beating slow – and not fast as I thought it would. It was while I was thinking about my body's reactions that he stopped in front of an inn. The banter of the drunk men within gave me no pleasure in entering. He opened the door, and I stepped back as I heard a bottle break within the establishment. He leered towards me under hooded eyes.

"Follow me, and they will not harm you."

I froze at his words. They were so calm and gentle. I did not expect this from a man who bought me. With this new restored faith in my client, I stepped in, and he shut the door behind me. We walked through the foyer where you could smell the alcohol, the sweat, and food littered through the tables. I bumped into him as he stopped in the middle of the hall to wait for the way to clear. In fear, I clinged to the back of his gi as a few men shuffled past me to chase after a waitress. Anji didn't even calm me, he just walked on when the path was cleared and went up stairs. I let go of his gi when he moved, but my mind was reeling. I don't know why, but I wondered how Aoshi was and let it drift out of my mind as quickly as it had come.

Anji stopped once more, but this time, it was in front of a room in the inn. My heart froze. This was it.

"Come in." he beckoned.

I swallowed the lump in my throat and stepped in. The door was shut firmly, and I could feel his warmth at my back.

"Kanryu told me that you've never been with a man before..." he said softly as his hand grazed my neck and rested on my small shoulder.

I could only nod.

"Make my futon for me." he commanded.

I wordlessly – as if in a trance – walked over to the corner of his room where he had stuffed his rolled up futon and carried it to a nice area somewhere in the center before him. I got on my knees and unrolled the futon, easing out the wrinkles while doing so. Before I could do anything else, I heard clothing drop to the floor. I froze and sucked in a breath of air that I didn't let go of until I turned around. He stood before me putting on his night robe, adjusting his ties.

"Kaoru, come here." he commanded harshly.

I did as I was told and stood before him. It was so awkward for me to be with such a big, burly man. Nonetheless, he placed his arms around my waist and started undoing my sash. I trembled as he grazed my backside and let my sash fall to the ground. It was then, I felt the urge to vomit. It wasn't right. He wasn't the one I should be with right now. I was supposed to get married and do this. That's when he forced me to the futon, and I tried to fight, but his heavy limbs would prevent any escape.

I remember that I had begged-no-pleaded for him to stop. His hands roamed over my skin, tearing whatever clothing kept him from savoring me. The thing that ran through my head was that he paid for me, and Kanryu would be angry at me if I refused. I thought that all the women in the teahouse had went through this, I was not special. But still, that voice strongly pleaded, "No. Please don't. Stop. Don't do this to me. It's not fair." When in all reality it wasn't fair, but it was life. Probably none of the women wanted to give themselves to men like him, but it was all in fear. Tears sprang from my eyes. I felt it coat my cheeks and my lips. They were salty, and it didn't help me feel any better. My heart ached, and I tried to scream but his hand muffled them, shutting my lips. He let them drift over my mouth, brushing away the tears that threatened to cover my lips once more. His eyes seemed to plead with me to enjoy it, but I shook my head and began to tremble as his hands removed my last bits of clothing.

"Kaoru..."

He murmured my name, but all I did was cringe. He smirked as he felt my thigh, open and exposed to his fingertips. I bit my tongue to keep myself from screaming in horror, and tried to fake a smile.

"Now, this won't hurt a bit."

Tsunan was very antsy when he couldn't spot me anywhere in the teahouse. He would look and ask, but nobody would reply. His patience grew thin, and Megumi took notice. She sat quietly, digging her nails into her palms when she saw the look in his eyes. It tore her up: duty to the teahouse and duty to an old acquaintance. She was beautiful that night. Every man lusted for her as usual. With ruby red lips set in a grim line, and slanted Japanese eyes perfectly angled like as if they were drawn on a doll, she was a true sight for sore eyes. Her beautiful white kimono was painted with black-outlined lilies, yet at the back, there was this red one. It was bright with gold outlining. It was truly a unique dress – something Tomoe told me she had given to Megumi as a birthday gift. In this magnificent outfit, perfect make-up on her porcelain face, and hair that practically fell off her shoulder like silk fabric, she faithfully took her seat beside him.

"Ah, Megumi-san, what brings you here?" he asked rancorously and threw back a cup of sake.

"The tanuki." she replied tartly.

He slammed down his sake cup and glared at her. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and let his hand fall into his lap.

"Where is she?" he asked angrily.

"You know where." she replied softly and poured herself a cup of sake.

He could only laugh bitterly and pour himself another cup. He looked over at Megumi. She tossed one of her tufts of black hair over her shoulder and took a sip of her cup afterwards.

"Why didn't you stop her? Why didn't you tell Kanryu that I would have gladly paid to have her tonight?"

"Because you weren't here." she snapped.

"I was out of town, Megumi, you know that! I go out of town every once in a while to sell my paintings."

"Well, maybe you should have told Kanryu."

"Don't be jealous, Megumi."

"I'm not jealous. I feel sorry for her, it has nothing to do with you."

"Oh, you feel sorry for her? The girl you dub as tanuki, tomboy-."

"Promptly shut your mouth before I do it for you."

He clenched his teeth and formed a fist with his hand in his lap. Holding back was not one of his strong suits.

"If you don't remember, let me refresh your memory." she whispered harshly, "There was an influential artist a few years back who went after a woman in this teahouse, and he professed feelings of undying affection for her. Then he had her a couple times, got bored of her, and said he didn't find inspiration in her anymore. After that, he doesn't show up back in her life until an even younger girl comes along. Personally, I don't think that younger girl should have to go through what the older one did, don't you?"

"Megumi..."

"You think I'm heartless, you think I'm cruel, and you think I'm empty, but you have no idea what kind of fury and life reside in me, Tsunan. Now, if you don't mind, I have other customers to attend to, and I think you should know that at this moment, there is another man in here that is worried about Kaoru. He's actually worried about what's to come for her, not angry because he couldn't have her first."

And with a sweep of her hair over her shoulder, she left the artist to brood over her words while Aoshi's eyes stayed focused on the door.

Misao grew anxious as she watched a little boy watching her from the corner of her eye. He stood just behind a wall at the doorway and had just his head peeking out to see her. His eyes watched her intensely, as if inspecting her. Sanosuke was seated beside her, lightly dozing in his sitting position. She tucked a stray ebony bang behind her ear and bit her lip.

"Sano!" she whispered lightly to get his attention.

"Yeah?" he replied without opening his eyes.

"There's a little boy watching me."

"So?"

"So, I'm uncomfortable."

"Just pretend he's paying you for it."

"Sano!"

"He's just a little boy whose curious. Let it go."

She fiddled with her fingers in her lap. She wasn't used to little boys-or anyone-staring at her. It bothered her to no end. She finally turned her head to see the boy, but he gasped and ran away. She widened her eyes in surprise and turned back to look ahead of her. She heard Sanosuke chuckle beside her.

"What are you laughing about?"

"Nothing...I've just never seen someone so upset about a little boy when she's dealt with more dangerous grown men staring at you more provocatively."

"Sagara..." she muttered angrily.

But they were interrupted with the rustle of fabric and the clatter of porcelain cups on a tray. Sanosuke's suddenly stiffened and opened his eyes, watching the elder women enter the room as gracefully as the most dedicated women. She placed the tray down, and with careful movements, she prepared the tea before them.

"Welcome to the Miyamoto-Higashidani home." she said softly as she let the hot liquid pour from the spout of the carafe, "We are honored to have you back home and with a wife, Sanosuke."

"She's not my wife, 'kaa-san." he basically spat.

She froze, and Misao caught the sadness in her eyes. But the woman looked up with a calm expression, as if unaffected by his tone of voice or the roughness he was giving off towards her.

"I had a little boy, the one who was watching you, young miss. His name is Outa. He's six years old right now." his mother said softly with a trace of a smile on her lips.

"He's...cute." Misao commented awkwardly.

Sano's mother seemed shocked at her words and looked up to meet her eyes.

"Thank you." she said with a bow, "But please consider that he is still young. Don't be put off by his curious behavior. He is quite delightful."

She paused and looked to her son, as if inspecting his new physique and chiseled features that had come to him in his years away.

"You have certainly grown since I last saw you. I was so worried when you left home..."

"Obviously you were so grief-stricken. I guess I missed you searching for me in the streets."

Her head bent down a bit, and Misao once again could feel the pain she was feeling also. How could Sano act so coldly?

"So what brings you back home, Sanosuke?" she asked almost inaudibly.

"I have nowhere else to go, and I think the least you could do for abandoning me is to house me and my friend for a while."

"Sanosuke, stop!" Misao shouted.

Sanosuke's mom and Sanosuke, himself, looked over to the petite woman who had been quiet for some time through their exchange.

"Miss, please, stop. I beg of you. I have my duty as his mother, and I should shelter him as I should've when he was a child. It is my fault, Sanosuke. Forgive me." his mother said firmly with her hands balled up in her lap.

"'kaa-san?" a voice murmured from behind Sanosuke and Misao.

They both turned to see a young woman, similar in looks to Sanosuke's mother, holding the little boy, Outa, in her arms. She was a young girl, not much older than Misao. Her hair was a deep ebony, pulled back into a prim bun, unlike her mother's messy one, and her eyes were the same color as the rest of the family's. She was definitely related to Sanosuke.

"Sanosuke..." she murmured, "I didn't believe it when I heard from Outa, but you're finally here. You've returned after so long..."

"Uki-chan..." Sanosuke murmured in awe as he saw his sister clutch her little brother tighter to her.

"Uki-chan, prepare dinner. We will have some company tonight." his mother commanded.

"Surely." she said with a bow of her head and walked off out into the other room.

Misao watched the girl depart but couldn't help but feel uncomfortable with the tense air around them. Everything was so formal and cold. Home was supposed to feel warm and full of respect. She had not expected to see anything else. She had then decided that Souzou was right. It was the best thing for Sanosuke to stay with the Sekihoutai. But Misao also knew that things should be set right. She hoped that in this time with his mother, he would find forgiveness and possibly acceptance. But she knew that was more than she could ask for. She watched as his mother and him sat in front of each other, exchanging looks that meant more than words.

Misao hoped they would find the peace between them.

Tomoe sat in silence, resting on Akira's shoulder while he held a thick blanket around both of them. She felt so rested and at peace. This is what she wanted. This was what she had craved. Kiyosato was linked to her more than she had wished it to be, but even if it was so, she knew that she cherished it.

"Tomoe-san?" he called in a hushed whisper.

"Hm?" she replied lazily as her eyelids began to drift to a close.

"What happened to you?"

She opened her eyes and felt the tears sting her eyes.

"What do you mean?" she inquired.

"What made you who you were? Where did you come from? Why are you here?"

"So many questions for such a nothing person. Why do you want to know?"

"Tomoe-san, I care for you. And not just as a fellow soul caught in this dangerous war but as a person, too."

She sat up and turned to him, catching him off-guard as the warmth left his body.

"How can a person be so trusting and innocent? How do you know that I won't kill you later on in life when you start to falter in Kanryu's eyes. I am loyal to him, and you shouldn't care for someone like me who would kill you at will."

He studied her for a moment in the dim candlelight, admiring every curve of her face, and sat back.

"I don't care if I die anymore," Tomoe froze at those words and he continued on with more resolution in his voice than she had ever heard before, "If I die, I would be more than happy if it was by your hands."

"Kiyosato, don't you-!"

"No, Tomoe. I would be content to die with you as the last thing I saw. I know your duty, and I know mine. If either of us was in a comprising position, we are to do the same. It is our duty over whatever else that could happen in this world. I'm not naïve to see that."

"But why?"

"Because we are kindred souls. And even though I know the outcome of us would be tragic, I still want to see you."

"Kiyosato, you're speaking as if you love-."

She stopped her words before they could come out. She was afraid to admit it. She could see it in his eyes. He was in love with her. And how could she not see it all along? He also tried to deny it within himself, but the words kept tumbling off his lips. He couldn't stop her from hearing it. He wanted to leave, but he was glued to his seat.

"Those are trivial emotions that don't exist in this world, Kiyosato." she said firmly and looked down at her lap.

"Why do you believe that?"

"My father said those exact words to me just before he died. How foolish he was."

"'Foolish?' You think your father was foolish for telling you that he loved you? Those are cynical words." he said with a frown.

"My heart is dead, Kiyosato. It died with my brother."

"Your brother?"

"He was innocent. He was only a small toddler when I was taken from him."

"How did this all happen?"

Her memories were clear as if it had been the previous day. She knew this story by heart. And she could remember every detail.

It was cold that day. Winter was nearing, and Tomoe was only a young girl. Her mother had died giving birth to her younger brother, and her father was a crippled samurai with no dignity left. The day that Tomoe last saw her family, her father stayed in his room, quietly enveloped in his shivers after being kept from his addiction. Tomoe had came by with a tray of tea and set it down before his door.

"'tou-san. 'tou-san?" she called meekly.

She only heard a grunt before a sharp retort came from her father.

"What do you want?" he called out in an almost out-of-character way.

"I brought you some tea...to make you feel better."

"I don't want your damn tea! It won't make me feel better, Tomoe! Not everything can be saved by your damn tea!" he shouted angrily.

She couldn't see him through the door, but she knew that he was suffering. She had seen him in the night, curled up in a ball on his futon. She knew he was sick – sick beyond repair.

"Forgive me, 'tou-san..." she murmured as she bowed her head in disappointment.

Quietly, she picked up the tray and stood up. In the next room, she heard a child cry and froze.

"Enishi..." she muttered with irritation and ushered herself into the next room.

The small room was open to her, inviting her to tend to the crying babe that lay within. She stepped in, and unusually left it open as she came to Enishi's side. She clutched him close and lay her hand upon his cheek. It was cold.

"What's wrong, Enishi?" she asked softly.

He shook his head and whimpered. She saw the cause. His head was burning with a fever.

"Enishi, you mustn't cry over this. The doctor said you must get lots of rest to get better." she said to him as she fixed his yukatta in a maternal way.

He sheepishly looked up to her with red hued cheeks.

"'nee-san, it's cold in here."

She nodded in agreement and looked to the open door. With care, she tucked her little brother into his futon.

"Stay in bed." she commanded and got up to close the door.

Her steps were slow and cautious, then abruptly stopped. Her hands supported her in the doorway as her eyes widened in fear. The snow was falling steadily, but on the porch, the men in black were unmistakeable.

Tomoe shrunk back when she heard her father's door slide open violently – so much so that the snow from the roof fell in a blanket onto the henchmen waiting outside. There were violent shouts clouding her mind and all Tomoe could think of was the shouts, the men staring at her, her whimpering brother, and the cold air bombarding her at once.

It was then that she reached instinctively for the tanto tucked away in her obi. Her father had passed it onto her for an occasion of use. Instead of suicide, she decided to kill if they had harmed her brother. They needed to escape.

"Where's the money, Yukishiro?!" a voice shouted angrily, "Opium isn't put on tabs!"

And then, everything was silenced with a sharp cry and a splatter of blood all upon the white rice paper.

"'tou-san..."

The men that were staring at her stepped forward, on a path towards her. She backed up instinctively, but one man ran forward. She tried to run to get to Enishi's side, but the man grabbed her at her waist. She leaned forawrd to push herself away. The man's grip was tighter than she thought, so she screamed. She screamed loud and cried for them to spare Enishi. Enishi was not spared.

One of the men grabbed him by the scruff of his robe and dragged him away from Tomoe's sight – out into the cold with his high fever weakening him by the second. The man holding her turned around, averting her eyes away from her ailing brother, to see Kanryu and his toothy grin.

He was a young teenager with long dark hair hanging at his shoulders, and his eyes were cold and calculating. He was shorter than the man holding her, but only by a few inches. Though the way he was dressed in a dark, thick robe, he seemed the scariest of them all.

"You're very beautiful, Yukishiro. I may have use for you yet."

Tomoe struggled, but a cloth, dampened with a strong smell, knocked her out before she even had a chance to fight back.

That night, Anji told me to stay until he fell asleep. His arm lay draped heavily over my bare abdomen, and I remember that I felt horrible. I felt horrible because it was a reluctant pleasure. It brought physical pleasure, but inside, my heart and my stomach hurt. Nausea came over me swiftly, and I remember swallowing back the acid. I couldn't think or feel. Everything after sex was just in a daze. I don't know how I got dressed or how I made my way home. All I remember was that I had reached the top of the steps in the women's quarters.

I saw Tomoe's room as usual, and I think sometime in my daze, I had heard her crying. Slowly and quietly, I had opened the door to check on her even though I didn't know why I was there. I had seen her at her small table, stifling a sob while her journal lay open before her. I watched her for a second, letting her dim candlelight flicker, and my eyes remain emotionless. At that moment, she sensed someone watching her, and she froze. I couldn't speak. All I did was walk slowly, step by step towards her.

Her head shot up, tears staining her cheeks, and her hair covering her shoulders in a black curtain. She looked like a crying angel, I recalled. And I fell to my knees.

"Kaoru!" she shouted in shock, but I remained cold and unaffected.

I believe I fell forward, and she clutched me, allowing my head to rest on her chest. I might've held onto her like a child during this. No, I did hold her. I held her, seeking only comfort. But it all went by in a blur. I remember she had worried about me and held me as if she were an older sister, comforting a younger sibling. But I was dead to her – to everything. Kaoru Kamiya couldn't grow and deal with this change, so Kamiya was reborn into a woman named Kaoru Sasaki – a professional seductress and lover. Tomoe saw the change, feared it from the beginning. And she just held me close, as if I had lost someone dear to me - as if she had also lost someone dear. We stayed together that night, mourning our lost selves.

Reader Reference

1 – I'm home, mom.

2 – Welcome home.

Author's note: I hope everyone loved the Kenshin-Kaoru interaction. They are my favorite couple! But it's so sad that they really don't have that kind of relationship in this fic. It's okay. I love Aoshi, too! And Tsunan got was coming to him! Playboys get their just desserts. I know you all loved Tsunan and Kaoru, but keep your eyes peeled for the relationships! As for Misao and Sanosuke, they are just friends right now. There really isn't any romantic interaction, just a mutual companionship. Well, sorry about the late update! Been very busy! I had a group research project, worked 45 hours a week, cleaned up around the household for Christmas, and had to do a lot of shopping! And on top of that, I have to write a post-world-order-destruction story incorporating the four phases of man by January, so I will be a bit busy. It's been a stressful time of the year and finish reading a 900 page book! But I hope you love this update. I hope you all a good holiday like me. I played Lord of the Rings Monopoly with a few of my relatives, and I lost Mount Doom!!! GRRR! Anyway, I love you all! Enjoy this special time of the year, and I hope the next year brings everyone of you more happiness. Until next time, read and review.

Reader Poll:

I was planning on making a sequel to this story after it was done. I definitely have a lot more of Kenshin in it. In fact, he is one of the main characters. Drop a line and tell me your input. Would you like to see that story?

Reviewer's Response

Catrina3 – I feel bad for Megumi because I know she could be such a b&$h, but she does have feelings that she hides. She's also a very good friend. So I feel sorry for the situation I put her in in here. She was definitely an easy character to play as malicious and taunting.

Orchidaceae – I'm sorry! I am a tease, aren't I? Well, I don't mean to. Kaoru and Aoshi are very popular. I'm glad that you still have a special place for Akira and Tomoe. Yeah! I'm not the biggest fan of yaoi either, but I'm not opposed to it. I was trying to stretch myself and see if people agree that love can transcend barriers like gender. You will feel for my little Sou-chan sooner or later! He's in for a lot of trouble. As for Megumi, she has been She does kind of have her own sap story, but it's not that big. It has to do with Tsunan, but more with Kanryu.

Vash-chan aka Makoto Almasy – Sano and Misao are very troubled individuals. They both have bad lives that led them into each other's presence. She had been kidnapped and made a child whore while he had left his house because of his abusive father and joined a gang that eventually all died out. I love Souzou though! He is somebody that should be seen more often. I'm glad you liked the Sanosuke action! This chapter was for you in a way. I'm glad somebody regarded Tomoe. She is a rather sad character. As for Kaoru and Aoshi, I think you're going to have to wait a little longer for them. This chapter was Kaoru's retreat within herself, life will get tough after this.

Angie – I'm sorry about the lack of Kaoru/Aoshi. But I'm definitely glad you liked the fighting scenes. Oh! I also have news to tell people! I am in a national contest for the National Library of Poetry, and I am a semi-finalist! Plus, I'm being published in a book! It's pretty awesome! Thank you for your wonderful encouragement!

Furygrrl – Oh! It's okay if you like Kaoru! She's my fave RK girl, too. Aoshi is such a dream boat... (I sound like I'm from the 1940s...weird...). I'm sorry about the late chapters. Thank you for your patience.

Marstanuki – I'm glad you liked that Tomoe-Megumi bit! But yes, Anji is a pervert in this story. By the way, when are you updating?! I am so caught up in TIMELESS, you have no idea! And you ended it at a rather edgy part! GRRR!

Nikka4 – Her father didn't intentionally bring her there as can be read, but the consequences of his actions did. As for Enishi, that can also be read. And I did mention Katsu! Thanks for your commentary! They weren't worth skipping.

Plumwarrior37 – Thank you, new reviewer! I am so honored to hear from a reviewer that it was well written. Thank you a thousand times!

Sailor Shiroi Cosmos – I'm glad you're loving this story, and I'm sorry about not updating sooner. I've been busy! But I will try to update more. It was just hard to get Tomoe's story down, and I think I didn't do it that well. But I will go back to fix it one day.

LivEviL – Thanks! You rock!

Blonde B-Ball Star – I always liked both Kaoru and Tomoe and their roles in Kenshin's life, so I thought "What if there wasn't Kenshin and the two met on their own". That's kind of how the story came to mind. I'm not a fan of Megumi either, but I pity her sometimes, especially when Kenshin didn't say goodbye to her in the series even though he had such a big impact on her. Oh, BTW, Tsunan is a woodcut artist. I don't know if I confused people by calling him an "artist" or not really describing what he does. Forgive me!

BelleDayNight – Sorry about the Misao/Aoshi/Kaoru relationship. I know people aren't used to the idea, but I was hoping that this story would give anyone a new perspective on what would happen if life was different. And plus, I don't see enough Misao/Sano interaction as anything, not even friends! So I decided to see how they would react if put together.

Dewey – I understand that Aoshi/Kaoru is unusual, but I hope you lighten up to it.

Missunderstood – Thank you so much! . I will try to update sooner!

PhoebeOtaku – Life is hectic, but I still managed to make an update. . Thank you, new reviewer!

Genjy0-Sanz0Thank you for showering me with your praise. I hope you liked this chapter.