Shadow Games
Chapter 6 – Finale – A Rude Awakening
Sandy eyed Ryan curiously. "Okay, let's talk. What do you want to talk about?"
Ryan let his eyes drift back down to the cup of black coffee and slowly stroked the side of the cup with his thumb. "Let's just get one thing straight," he started. "I don't trust you."
"That's understandable Ryan. You don't even know me."
"Right," he sassed back quickly. "And for that matter you don't know me either. You know me on paper and that's not the same."
"So then tell me something I don't know," Sandy encouraged, looking expectantly at Ryan.
Ryan leaned in closer and turned his eyes to Sandy. "You have no idea what I'm capable of," he whispered.
The comment was meant to unnerve Sandy and he sipped his coffee instead, unaffected. "Look, Ryan, there's no need to intimidate me. I made you an offer, if you don't like it, or don't want to accept it, that's fine. But you're the one that has to make that decision."
"And why would I do that? Why would I go with you?" Ryan asked sarcastically.
"Because right now I'm the only one that believes in you."
Ryan stared at Sandy long and hard before forcefully pushing his chair back and walking over to the window with his cup. Sandy smirked to himself knowing he'd captured Ryan's attention with that last comment. Ryan wasn't a hard criminal, he'd seen worse. Instead he was a typical case of a kid from an abused home, with no direction or guidance. He was a prime candidate for a kick in the ass in the right direction and Sandy was chomping at the bit to be the one doing the kicking.
Ryan stood at the window a long time before speaking again. "You married?"
"Yes. And I have a sixteen year old son."
Thinking about that fact for a moment, Ryan assumed he couldn't be more different from Mr. Cohen's son if he tried. "I'm sure he's nothing like me."
"No he's not, but maybe someone like you could bring him out of his shell."
"Right. I'll teach him how to boost cars and he can, what, teach me how to properly hold my fork at the dinner table?"
Sandy chuckled a bit. "Well he's not that uptight, close, but not quite. He doesn't have many friends. I guess in that sense he's sort of a loner too."
"I've got enough friends," Ryan retorted.
Sighing, "But what kind of friends are they? Are they the type of guys that only help you with jobs or dare you to do things that'll land you in trouble? Are the girls only there for the night and then gone in the morning? See what I'm saying?"
Ryan stared at Sandy, amazed at his accurate account of Ryan's life, given that fact that he knew nothing about Ryan, nothing. Keeping his lips pursed tightly closed, Ryan blinked several times after looking away in an attempt to hide his admission of those facts from Sandy.
"I may not know everything about you, but I know enough to know you need to make some changes. Do you really expect to still be stealing cars when you're my age? Honestly?"
Pausing a moment to consider the question, "Honestly? I've never even considered what my life would be like at your age. Life in Chino doesn't work like that. Around here you live day to day…and some days, it's hour to hour."
"So this is your chance to change that, break out of that mold. What have you got to lose? According to your own words, if things aren't the way you want them, you're gonna take off once you're out of here anyway. Why not at least give it a try and see where it leads you?"
"And…your wife and your son? I'm sure they won't be happy about your decision to do something like this."
"I'll go call her right now," Sandy enthused, standing up and heading to the door.
"No!" Ryan yelled. Giving Sandy a menacing look, "Call her from here. I want to hear what you say to her. More importantly, I want to here her tell you it's a bad idea so I can say I told you so."
"Okay." Turning around Sandy pulled his cell phone out and hit the corresponding buttons to speed dial his wife as Ryan looked on, watching him closely.
"Hey, it's me…Fine, fine, how's your day?…Oh I'm glad…Well, now that you mention it, there is a reason behind my call, his name is Ryan."
Ryan tipped his head back and squinted suspiciously at Sandy. He was surprised he was going through with all of this in the first place.
"Well, Ryan is one of my clients and he's sort of between a rock and hard place at the moment and he needs a place to stay for a while…Yes I mean bring him home…"
Rolling his eyes, Ryan shook his head and threw a sideways glare in Sandy's direction.
"Nothing major," Sandy continued. "He's got some theft and some charges for assault, disorderly conduct, and of course some miscellaneous small weapons charges…Kirsten, I just…uh huh…yeah…yes I do realize that…I know…I know…you're right…I understand, I'll tell him…see you tonight."
With the click of the phone Sandy raised an expressionless face to Ryan.
"Let me guess," Ryan sassed again, laying out his prediction. "She said it's not the same as bringing home a stray puppy, especially since they don't carry weapons. She thinks it's a bad idea and that you should forget about it and pick up dinner on the way home. Even if I'm wrong about the dinner, I'm know I'm not wrong about her not wanting me there."
Sandy couldn't hold back a bit of a grin that was trying to sneak out. "Actually she said I should bring you home tomorrow rather than today because she'd like to properly prepare a room for your stay."
"You better not be screwing with me," Ryan warned, watching for even a flinch out of Sandy.
"I wouldn't do that, it's not my style. But we do still have one hurdle to overcome."
"What's that?"
"You haven't accepted my offer yet. So what do you think? Wanna give it a shot?"
"And what if…what if it doesn't work? What if I do something…and I make you angry."
"Oh I'm counting on you doing 'something' Ryan. Where's the adventure in taking you home if you're going to convert to being an angel overnight? I'm going to ask you to make some changes, changes that are respectful to my family and my home. I don't expect you to get it right the first time, but I do expect you to try. And for the record, I don't get angry often, and when I do, it's never with my hands."
"And if I don't like it there? If I don't want to stay?"
"I'm not sure, but I imagine you'd become a Ward of the State at that point and be sent to a home for Juveniles."
Considering his options, Ryan walked up to the table where Sandy was sitting. Right now he just wanted out and it seemed he was being given a way out. "I'll go with you," he muttered quietly, uneasiness evident in his tone. "I'll go with you on one condition…I need you to find my brother and send him down here to talk to me. It's possible he's in jail, I don't know."
"Just tell me where to look for him and I'll do my best to find him. So, does that mean you're coming with me tomorrow?"
"I still don't trust you, but I'll go."
Pulling out a tablet of paper, "First step forward in a new direction is always the hardest. Write down a place or two where I might find your brother."
Scribbling some notes down, Ryan returned the tablet to Sandy. "Don't tell him anything. I'll tell him if we find him."
Agreeing, Sandy gave Ryan one of his business cards. "Here, give this to your brother when you talk to him. It has my cell phone number on it incase he needs to reach you. When I stepped out for the coffee, I learned your hearing was postponed until tomorrow. We'll talk to the Judge then."
Nodding, Ryan pocketed the card and left the room.
"Thanks for the ride, man," Trey yelled as he slammed the car door shut. Standing in front of the Juvie Center made him feel sick. He always tried to stay far away from these places but today was an exception, he knew Ryan was inside and worse yet, he was asking for him. Word was on the street about the contract that went sour, most of the guys on the job were picked up by the cops. Ryan must of known something, something he needed to tell Trey. It was the only reason Trey could come up with for the request for a visit that had to be done immediately.
Trey stood outside of the guard's post smoking a cigarette before entering the building, stalling. He kept his hands shoved deep into his pockets hoping it hid his nerves a bit. He was also thankful that visiting hours were nearly over.
"Name of Juvenile?" the clerk called out when Trey approached the counter.
"Atwood, Ryan Atwood."
The clerk got on the phone right away and called in the visitation. "Atwood, Ryan, cell block thirteen, cell number one-twenty-nine." With the harsh hang up of the receiver, he handed Trey a visitor's pass. "Take this over to security to be searched and signed in."
Moving on, Trey went through gate after gate after gate. By the time he'd gone through all the necessary red tape and arrived at the Visitation Center, also known as the 'Kiss and Cry', he noticed Ryan was already sitting down at a table.
Anxiously he crossed the room. "Hey little brother," Trey greeted.
Ryan stood up and they brothers shared a hug that relayed relief on both sides. Trey noticed Ryan holding on a little longer than normal and it only made him more curious about what was going on.
"So," he opened up, taking a seat across from Ryan. "You doing okay in here?"
Ryan's look said it all and it was saying it wasn't Club Med. "Nothing I haven't brought on myself. It's Juvie. They aren't exactly about baking cookies and bedtime stories."
Trey nodded. He'd done time in Juvie too. It was a farming area for breeding bigger, badder criminals. Anything you wanted to know could be learned here, it was just a matter of finding the right people, and, staying away from the right people as well. Surviving Juvie was more than dealing with pissed off parents and court dates. It was about which guards you could trust or should avoid and which inmates you could trust and which you should stay away from. The games that went on in Juvie made hustling on the street seem like Sunday school.
"I wish I could get you out of here man," Trey voiced. Ryan let his eyes fall to the table without using words. "So, what's with all the cloak and dagger stuff? You send your attorney to find me and he says I've got to come see you right away. What's going on?"
Ryan let out a heavy breath and continued to avoid eye contact with his brother. "I'm not sure how much longer I can…do this. I'm not sure I want to."
"Can't say I blame you, I'd want to get out of here as soon as possible too."
"No, that's not it. I'm getting out of here tomorrow Trey."
"Tomorrow, Ry that's great! Seriously you've…" Trey's words froze in his mouth when Ryan raised his head and locked his eyes with his brother. Trey could feel his heart leap and then hang in his chest. "You're leaving, aren't you?" he whispered, discouraged by the news.
"Yeah," Ryan whispered even quieter. "You made me promise to say goodbye, so…" Ryan flipped his hand in the air, not knowing what else to say.
Trey leaned back in his chair fighting the growing lump in his throat. "You serious? I mean, where are you gonna go? How are you…"
"I can take care of myself. Besides, my attorney offered me a room at his house…in Newport. I wasn't going to go but he had some pretty convincing arguments, he is an attorney after all. I figured I'd go up there and see what it's like. Maybe I'll like the game better up there," he shrugged.
"I can't believe you're really gonna do it, I can't believe you're really gonna leave me."
Laughing defensively, "Why not? You left me."
That comment said it all. Trey knew he'd left Ryan with a deep wound when he left home and he knew he had no right to question Ryan's decision to leave. Even though it had been nice to see him the past week, Trey knew Ryan had no real reason to stay in Chino.
Reaching into the sleeve of his jumpsuit, Ryan pulled out Sandy's business card and handed it to his brother. "This is where you can find me if you need me."
Trey examined the card and his eyes heating up with emotion.
"You really are going, aren't you?" Trey asked again, wishing Ryan's answer would be different. Instead Ryan just nodded again, confirming the news. Trey took a deep breath and blew it out through his open mouth. Placing the card on the table he wiped his eyes before he nodded too. "I'm proud of you Ry. I'm proud of you for having the courage to get out. I want you to turn your back on this place and not look back man. Make your life Ry," Trey encouraged standing up from the table, with Ryan following suit. "I'm really gonna miss you little brother."
The brothers shared another hug, both emotionally spent.
"Brothers for life," Ryan whispered over Trey's shoulder, his chin trembling.
"You know it man," Trey agreed. "Brothers for life. You need me, you call me."
"Same."
Reluctantly, they let go of each other and locked their hands in a macho shake.
"Goodbye man." Ryan was barely able to get the words out.
"Goodbye little brother. Watch your back."
"Always," Ryan nodded with a weak smile.
Taking a couple steps back, Trey took one more long, hard look at his baby brother. Using every bit of strength he had left, he forced himself forward, patted Ryan on the shoulder and turned toward the gate.
Ryan watched Trey leave as the 'Kiss and Cry' lived up to it's name. Ryan's chest heaved up and down from the anxiety of the meeting and he noticed Trey was still wiping his eyes even as he passed through the gate on his way out.
Standing alone, Ryan couldn't have felt more isolated if he tried. Looking around the Visitor's Center, other inmates were sitting and talking with their families. Hell, even if they were arguing, they were still together. Turning on his heel, Ryan got permission to return to his cell and made a beeline straight back to his bunk.
Once in his cell, Ryan curled up on his cot and held his pillow tightly to his chest. He felt overwhelmed and couldn't help but question if he'd done the right thing. He'd agreed to leave Chino with a person he didn't even know. He'd said goodbye to his brother and despite their unwritten contract of 'brothers for life' Ryan knew that goodbye was most likely permanent. And his mind even trailed back to his Mom, how he'd put his foot down and said he'd had enough. His head throbbed over the events of the previous couple of days. It all seemed like a dream, no, make that a nightmare, like it wasn't really happening in real life. The problem was, it was all real, every bit of it. Ryan had chosen his path and now he had to see it through.
Late that night, Ryan was still sitting on his cot when 'lights out' was announced and the cellblock went dark. It was never completely black and it was never completely quiet…and you were never completely alone since the guards roamed the corridors frequently, especially on the night shift.
Ryan stared at the shadows on the wall caused by light coming through his cell bars and thought about Sandy and his offer and the new home and family that would be waiting anxiously for his arrival tomorrow. He was quick to remind himself that he'd been tricked in the past and he'd decided right there and then that he'd do things his way when he arrived in Newport, no matter what the Cohen family had in mind for him. They'd have to prove themselves to him first before he did any bending from his own personal agenda. He couldn't stop wondering what life with this family was going to be like. He also couldn't stop thinking about ways to control the 'game' once he was there. Mr. Cohen said he wanted an adventure, Ryan intended on giving him one.
Exhausted from thinking so long about so much, Ryan eventually reclined on his cot and gave in to the sleep his body was so desperately craving.
But this was Juvie and in Juvie, mornings seemed to creep up quickly on a guy. Ryan was already dreading the day. Right after morning chow he'd be heading to the courtroom for his hearing in front of Judge Whitney. Ryan grimaced at mere thought of the woman. After that, he'd return to Juvie and go through the release process and be shipped off to the Cohen family. Suddenly he was having serious doubts about whether or not he wanted to follow through with the plans.
In the courtroom, Ryan sat quietly next to Sandy and waited and waited and waited for his name to be called. Finally, "Ryan Atwood?" the Judge announced.
"Present Your Honor," Sandy acknowledged, ushering Ryan up to the front to stand before the Judge.
Judge Whitney tipped her head down and glared at Ryan over the rim of her glasses. "Mr. Atwood, I distinctly remember telling you it had better be a long time before I caught sight of you in my courtroom again, and yet here you stand. Last time I saw you, you had spent the prior evening drunk and you were throwing beer bottles at passing cars, including a patrol car. So what sort of garbage are you bringing me today?"
"I was in the wrong place at the wrong time and I happened to have some questionable items on me at the time," Ryan explained, as vaguely as possible.
"Well that sure cleared it all up. I'm sure you won't be surprised when I say I want you to be more specific Mr. Atwood. Where were you at the wrong time?"
"In an area where they were looking for someone who'd stolen a car."
"Uh huh. And the questionable items on your person were…"
"A screwdriver and a blade."
"A screwdriver and a blade," the Judge reiterated. "And what were you doing with those items? Why did you have them with you?"
"A buddy of mine had returned the screwdriver to me earlier that evening and I hadn't been home yet to drop it off. As for the blade…It's Chino. Even my Mom carries a blade."
The Judge gave Ryan an exaggerated look. "Well, relish the moment Mr. Atwood. The police department was not able to tie you to the stolen car contract even if we both know differently. You were able to fool the law this time, but next time you may not be so lucky, and I will see to it that you are standing in front of me when that happens. Now," she paused. "I want to talk about that little love tap you gave Guard Diaz. What in God's name were you thinking?"
Clearing his throat, "I didn't want to go home with my Mom," Ryan admitted, too embarrassed to keep his eyes on the Judge for long stretches.
"And why wouldn't you go home with your Mother?"
Huffing his response, "You've seen her, I shouldn't have to explain it to you."
"Watch your mouth, Mr. Atwood," the Judge warned sternly. Sighing, "Well, then it seems we have a new problem to contend with. It appears, according to my paperwork, that you currently have no parents or guardians to be responsible for you upon your release from Juvie. Under those conditions, I have no choice but to release you as a Ward of the State, in which case, you'd be placed in a home for boys until you turn eighteen, or until you and your Mom make up and she is willing to sign for you. You'll be transferred immediately to…"
"Your Honor, if I may," Sandy interrupted as Ryan saw his freedom flashing before his eyes during the Judge's fit. "My wife and I will be signing for Guardianship of Ryan."
Judge Whitney let Ryan's file flop closed and she stared at Sandy in amazement. "Mr. Cohen, I'm sure you and your family would like to help Mr. Atwood out, but I'm not sure you realize the ramifications of such a challenge."
"I'm aware of Mr. Atwood's background," Sandy acknowledged, glancing at Ryan. "But I also feel a change in environment may be just what Ryan needs to get his life on track. My family and I feel he has a lot to benefit from a stay with us. We'd like to give him the chance to change his life. He's well aware of the fact that there will be responsibilities and rules, expectations."
Furling her eyebrows at Ryan, "Mr. Atwood, how do you feel about this arrangement?"
"I'm not sure I have that much of a choice Ma'am."
"Mmm-hmm. Let me be blunt," the Judge continued. "I've known Sandy Cohen for a long time and he's good people. Do…not…let it get back to me that you are wearing out your welcome and becoming a problem. Do you understand what I'm saying to you?"
"Yes Ma'am."
"I wish you luck Mr. Cohen. That one needs a real attitude adjustment."
"I appreciate your concern Judge, but I've pushed a few boundaries in my day too. Maybe Mr. Atwood is the one that doesn't know what he's gotten himself into."
Sandy and the Judge shared a short chuckle at Ryan's expense. "Touché," she laughed. "Okay. I'll sign off on this. Mr. Cohen, you don't have to come into to court but I want a progress report in two weeks…and I want to know everything."
"Yes Ma'am."
"You're hearing is over you may leave gentlemen."
In the lobby, the guard gave Sandy some instructions regarding Ryan's release and then allowed them a few minutes to talk.
"Well kid, this is it. How do you feel?"
Ryan just shrugged and kicked his boot at the leg of the bench.
"It's going to be okay Ryan. Give it a chance," Sandy encouraged.
"Keep telling yourself that Mr. Cohen, maybe one of these days you'll believe it," Ryan responded dryly.
"Please, call me Sandy. Mr. Cohen makes me sound like such an attorney."
Snorting a laugh, Ryan glanced down the hall.
"Go ahead, get processed and I'll see you in a couple of hours, okay?"
Nodding again Ryan pushed off the wall and paused. "It feels…weird."
"Excuse me?" Sandy questioned.
"You asked how it felt, it feels weird. I've wanted to leave Chino so bad, for so long, it feels like a trick."
"No tricks Ryan, this is the real deal."
Ryan narrowed his eyes momentarily and leaned in Sandy's direction without looking at him. "For your sake, I hope that's the truth." Raising his head Ryan glared at Sandy before walking back to the guard for processing.
Sandy watched Ryan disappear through the door with the guard before mumbling to himself. "I'm gonna show you a life you've only seen in your dreams, kid. It's gonna be okay, I promise."
Gathering his things, Sandy left the building and went out to his car to make some calls while waiting for Ryan's release.
"Another round please," Trey requested from the bartender.
"Trey man, you've been here all night and now all morning, don't you think…"
"You've seen me in worse shape Sam, don't do this to me, not today."
"Alright, but if you start going over the edge…"
Trey nodded and watched the stream of whiskey pour into his glass. Raising it up to his mouth, he poured some in and held it on his tongue, wishing it would, somehow, magically absorb into his body and take away all his pain. Leaning forward he pressed the cold glass to his forehead. Chino would never be the same without Ryan. Trey had cursed himself over and over since he last saw Ryan at Juvie, cursed himself for teaching Ryan not to count on anyone, to always look out for yourself no matter what because in the end, that's all a guy could do. It just never occurred to him that his brother would leave him behind as a result. They were quite a team…when they were a team. Trey was jealous of him for being stronger…stronger in the mind and, admitting sadly, stronger in the game. And now he was gone.
"Trey?"
Against his will, Trey lowered his glass and turned to find Dawn standing right next to him.
"And here I thought my day couldn't get any worse," Trey complained.
Biting her lip, Dawn took a seat next to her eldest son, much to his disgust. "I've had a bad few days myself. Buy you a round?"
Impatiently Trey looked over at the woman he knew as his mother, "Yeah sure, why not."
After ordering more drinks, "So…how…how are you?" she attempted to ask.
"I've been better," Trey replied, offering her a cigarette.
"Yeah, me too." Lighting her cigarette.
"So what did you do wrong now?" Trey inquired, knowing when it came to his Mom, it was always 'something'.
Taking a huge swallow of her drink, "I ah, said something I shouldn't have."
"Oh yeah? To who?"
"Your brother."
The answer got Trey's attention and he started putting pieces of the puzzle together in the back of his head.
"I told him I didn't want him any more." Dawn choked on the words as they left her mouth and she stared at the burning end of her cigarette as if it held the answer to all her problems.
"You what?"
"I know, I know. I was angry and he was being so stubborn, I just…I couldn't get him to…all of it is just a big misunderstanding."
Trey looked at his Mom with his mouth hanging open, amazed that the woman would think that someone, no, that one of her sons, would forgive her that quickly for saying she didn't want them anymore. Sarcastically, Trey snorted a breath and turned back to his own glass.
"You're right, I'm sure Ryan didn't take it seriously. After all you show your love so often. I don't know any other kid that gets to clean up his Mother's vomit on a daily basis because she's too cashed to do it herself. That's bonding at it's best."
"Trey don't do this me."
"You know God damn it, you're the only person on the face of the earth that can truly screw something up and then expect people to feel sorry for you. It doesn't work that way Mom. It is possible to hurt someone to the point where they don't forgive you anymore."
The words stung, hard, and Dawn did her best to ignore them, even if Trey was right. "I need to talk to Ryan again. He's in Juvie. I'll have to go up there later today."
Having heard enough, Trey stood up and threw money down on the counter. "Don't bother."
"No…no I have to. This was a bad fight, Trey. I have to make this right. I have to tell him…"
"Mom, Ryan is gone."
Trey had a hard time keeping a lid on his emotions. The longer he talked with his Mom, the more he understood his brother's desire to leave.
"What do you mean? He's in Juvie. He can't get out unless someone signs…"
"Someone signed. He's out and he's gone. He's not even in Chino any more. And this is the way he wanted it. So you're not going to tell him anything. You blew it."
Shocked by the news, "How do you know all of this?"
"I saw Ryan yesterday. He sent for me, and he said goodbye," Trey's voice quivered during his explanation. "I think at this stage of the game, when Ryan says goodbye, we both know what that means."
Dawn turned toward the bar and held onto the edge for strength. "This isn't possible…he wouldn't…Ryan wouldn't…"
"He did. He's gone."
Trey watched emotion take over his Mom. He wanted to feel sorry for her, but he could only think of Ryan, and what he'd been through. She'd had this coming for a long time.
"I'm sure you'll get something in the mail from the court with all the information on it. Make sure you look for it because I don't know where he's going," Trey lied. "Sam, give my Mom a bottle. She's gonna need it." Throwing more money on the bar, Trey was ready to leave.
"Congratulations Mom. You managed to drive both of your sons out of the house at the age of sixteen. I guess there's something to be said for your consistency, but the rest…the rest we could have done without. I'll see ya."
Without another word, Trey made his way to the door and disappeared into the blinding sunlight.
"Here you go Mrs. Atwood, compliments of your son."
For the first time in her life, the bottle didn't comfort her. She didn't want to feel the glass in her hand or taste it's substance. She wanted her sons back, but even she knew she'd gone well past the point of return. Maybe Trey was right. Maybe she didn't deserve to be forgiven. Turning the bottle, she pulled it closer and read the label.
"Everything okay Mrs. Atwood? Is that your label?" Sam asked.
Frowning at the bottle, "After awhile it's all the same. It takes away what you feel, it takes away your dreams and it takes away your life. I lost both of my sons because of this. Did you know that? Trey…Trey hasn't talked to me in years and Ryan…now Ryan's gone. He's gone."
Tears raced down her face as she stood up from the bar. "Put that on ice Sam. I'm sure I'll be back. Why, because that's all I know how to do." Clutching her purse under her arm, "My Ryan is gone. I can't believe he's gone."
Sobbing, she slowly walked to the door and opened it. The sun offered no relief as it poured in on one of the darkest moments of her life. She knew from then on, her life would never be the same.
THE END.
Thank you one and all for the great reviews! Thanks, also, to anyone who's 'pimped' for me! I truly appreciate it! For those new to this story, follow Ryan's future at the Cohen's in "Bad Behavior", a story already written and completed. For those following along since the beginning, a SEQUEL to "Bad Behavior" is already "percolating" and will be up and running as soon as possible…probably about two weeks! Wonder what sort of trouble Ryan will get into now: D
