The team slowly follows the trail of spraypaint and soon see a sleeping
guard.
Guard: ZzzZZZZZZZzzzzzZZZZZzzzzzZZZZZZZZzzzzZZZZZZZzZZZZZzzzzzzzzZZZZ
Air: This is getting freaky.
Tarot: Reah, Reaky.
The team keeps walking and eventually find an elevator.
Teal 197097whatever: Let's call it.
Air: Yeah, HEY ELEVATOR! WHAT'S YOUR PHONE NUMBER??!! WE WAN'T TO CALL YOU!!!
Tiara: Maybe I'll do it. *Presses call button*
The elevator comes down and the team gets on.
Air: Where are we going?
AirHead: Well, we could go down and escape from this creepy place, or we could murder the resident.
Tarot: You mean the president?
AirHead: Uhh... sure.
They go up to the top to murder the president even though that won't solve anything. (would murdering Bush stop the forests from being destroyed?) At the next floor, a creepy goth girl comes in.
NOTE: I am not a goth, nor do I know anything about Goths besides stereotypes. If you are a goth, you will take offense from the goth character. You have been warned.
Tiara: Hello, freaky, creepy goth dude.
Tiara stares at this creep who's wearing pewter cross necklaces, tons of pairings, more makeup than face, black clothing, pentagram jewelry, what appears to be ripped fishnet, a spiked dog collar, and purple hair that's crazier then Air's.
Goth: Falling ever darkly into
the ebon abyss of feral eyes,
screaming against
the groping fingers of your
black obsessive passion,
torment.
Tarot: What are you doing here anyway?
Goth: ...
Tarot: I repeat, what are you doing here anyway?
Goth: ... (Too entranced in an Anne Rice Novel)
AirHead: Earth to Creep!!!
Goth Girl: Hissss.
Air: Can you like, talk normally?
Goth gal: To do so would enthrall my calamitous spirit and send ecstatic sparks of rejuvenating joy throughout my derelict mind of sorrow.
Tiara: Ok...
Tarot: Can you like, never talk to us again?
Goth Girl: *Pushes Tiara into the side of the elevator*
Tarot: Hey!
Goth: She was going to step on that ant.
Tarot: An ant is more important than my wife??!!
Goth: Already there are to many humans...
Elevator: Ding!
Teal 197097: Well, this is our stop. Bye.
The team rushes out of the elevator.
Everyone: Phew.
Tiara: I never want to see another goth again. If I do, I will go insane...
They keep walking until they get to the president's room.
Tarot: What, the president is dead! NNNnnnnnnnnnnoooooooooo!!!
Teal 197097: Our goal was to kill him anyway.
Tarot: But I didn't get to kill him.
Air: The Costumefe is in the president's back; only Pornoroth, Zack, and Tiara can use that blade.
AirHead: Then that means. (DUN Dun DUN)
Air: Pornoroth is alive.
Suddenly, a huge fat guy walks in.
Fat Guy: You killed the president Spitwad!
Teal 197097: THE president Spitwad?
Suddenly a teenager walks in.
Teenager: Hello people, I'm Fido.
Teal 197097, Air, AirHead, Tiara, Tarot, and Fat Guy: Hello Fido!
Fido: Yes I- WAIT A MINUTE! MY FATHER IS DEAD! I mean, uhh, yeah. I'm the one that killed my father, I'm not only now president, I'm also a murderer. COOL!!!
Air: You didn't kill him, you just showed up. We've been here the whole time. Pornoroth killed him.
Fido: (damn) Umm, that's just what it looks like because all of you are near blind because of the umm, Blindmakergassygasthing, it makes anyone who isn't name Fido become nearly blind!
Teal 197097: Then why can I see you just fine?
Fido: Umm, it only works on humans (yeah that's it)
Teal 197097: Then why didn't I see you kill the resident?
Air: You mean president?
Teal 197097: Whatever.
Fido: If you're so smart, you'll be able to kill me! Right?
Air: What?
Fido: Come Air! *Drags Air outside*
Air: You're crazy.
Fido: Yes I am, you will die.
meanwhile...
Tiara: We've got to wait for Air.
AirHead: Wait for that moron? Let's just get the hell out of here.
Tiara: I'm going to wait for Air; you can escape.
Teal 197097: Ok.
They run out of the building and into an elevator.
Tarot: Let's go down.
AirHead(sarcastically): No, really? I thought we should just stay here.
Tarot: Good thing I suggested it then.
They go down and soon hear a voice.
Voice: Transformers, robots in Da' Skies.
A robot flies by.
AirHead: I thought it was 'Robots in disguise' not 'Robots in da' skies'
Voice: D'oh! Transformers, robots in disguise.
Another elevator comes down by them and starts following them down the building.
Other elevator: Watch me transform!!!
The other elevator gets magically taken apart and put back together in a way that makes it look sortof like a toaster on pot.
Toaster thing: Let's battle!
Teal 197097: Ok, LIGHTING!!!
Lightning hits the toaster making it explode.
Tarot: Woah, where'd you learn that?
Teal 197097: Internet.
Back to Air...
Air: Why do you want to kill me?
Fido: It's all part of my plan. Once I kill you, DSR will have no way to continue this story; the ACRONYM joke is the main reason anyone likes this story, and if anyone else does it, it will be out of character. This story will be ruined, and DSR will finally have to write final idiotsy X. BWAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHHAhaaaahaHAHAHHAHAHHAAAHAHAHAHAHNANAAHAHAHHAHA HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHH AHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!!!
DSR: Don't bring up FIX. Ever.
Fido falls off the roof but comes back up riding on top of a helicopter's blades, because of this, he keeps twirling around.
Fido: YoU cAnT dEfEaT fIdO!!!
Air: Does that stand for Yellow Underlings Are Tasty, Evil, Edible Trees In Ohio?
Fido: No. AnD yOu CaNt WiN!!
Air: Who's piloting that helicopter?
Fido: Oh yeah. *Helicopter stops and falls* OK, MAYBE YOU can defeat me... *Vanishes*
DSR: That's what you get for bringing up the subject of FIX.
Air: I'm surprised that worked, I mean, this isn't like a cartoon.
Air walks a ways and then trips.
Laugh Track: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA snort HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Air runs until he sees Tiara.
Tiara: Let's go.
Air: I have a question about that goth-
Tiara: AHH!!!!
Air: Umm, ok...
Tiara: Don't say that word!
Air: What, Goth?
Tiara: AHHH!!!!!
Air: Cool. Goth!
Tiara: AHHHH!!!!!!
Air: Goth!
Tiara: AHHHH!!!!!!
Air: Goth!
Tiara: AHHHH!!!!!!
Air: Goth!
Tiara: AHHHH!!!!!!
Air: Gothy mcGothGoth of the Goth land of Goth!!!
Tiara: AHHHH!!! AHHHH!!! AHHHH!!! AHHHH!!! AHHHH!!!
Air: Ok let's go.
They run out and soon get to where the others are.
Air: You guys go and escape in that Ferrari *Points to Ferrari I'll escape on that Charcoal Bowl! *Points to a creature that looks like an ostrich with measles that's on heroin and has 3 humps and is asleep and is 6540932654 years old.
Tiara: Um, a ferrari only has two seats. Uhh, I CALL SHOTGUN!!!
They ride off leaving Air behind.
Air: Ok, Charcoality Boality. *Sits on Charcoal Boal* Mush! Mush! *Spanks Charcoal Boal*
Charcoal Bowl: WORK!!!! WORK!!!!
The charcoal Bowl starts running at about 856848829528519519888805682.456835 MPH, or, for you English readers, about 856848829528519519888805682.4568348 KPH. Soon, the charcoal bowl is way far past the ferrari and infact finally out of Mildew; 3 hours later the team catches up.
Air: What took you?
Tiara: We had to fight this boss that gave us 42936482348235482462548274018548153801534810586532985015081 gil each.
Air: Well, you're late! Lateness is a crime. I fine each of you 42936482348235482462548274018548153801534810586532985015081 gil.
Tiara: Ok, we don't use gil anyway; we use krill as the currency, remember.
AirHead: By the way, one gil ways 1/235 lbs. Good luck keeping up.
Air: D'OH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tarot: Let's just keep going on our quest.
Tiara: Our quest is to destroy the Playdoh reactors! We've only destroyed 1/4 of them! We've got to go back to Mildew to destroy the rest!
Tarot: Ok. *Goes back to Mildew only to see that you can't getback in* Ok, new plan: We Kill Pornoroth!
Teal 197097: What would that solve?
Tarot: Who cares??!! Let's just go.
They continue until they get to a town called Rowdy. When they enter, they see that the town is full of Goths.
Tiara: AHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
Tarot: A town of goths?
Tiara: AHHHHHHH!!! AAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!1
Teal 197097: Don't you think it's weird that goths are outcasts, but this is town of all outcasts, so to be an outcast you have to not be an outcast and you have to be an outcast to become a non outcast? Goths are normally exempt from society so here all of the people are exempt from society so there isn't a society so these people are normal and to them WE'RE freaks.
Tiara: *Twitch* Goths *Twitch* Gothic *Twitch* Everywhere *Twitch* Goths *Twitch*
Air: Let's go find an inn before Tiara goes crazy.
AirHead: Umm, Before?
Tiara: gothgothgothgothgothgothgothgoth *Twitch* gothgothgothgothgothgothgothgothgoth *Twitch* gothgothgothgoth *Twitch*
They run to an inn and lock themselves in their room.
Air: Well, while we wait for Tiara to regain sanity-
Tiara: goth *Twitch* Goth *Twitch* Goooooootttthhhh *Twitch* *Twitch* *Twitch* *Twitch* *Twitch* Goth! *Twitch* GOTH! *Twitch* goth *Twitch* *Twitch* *Twitch* gooooooooth *Twitch*
Air: -how about I tell you about PornoRoth in a completely fabricated story.
Tarot: Ok.
Air: Long, Long, Ago- in the town of Jigglystem...
Enter flashback:
I was riding in a trolley with some other GOOD GUY soldiers and Pornoroth.
We were sent to investigate a malfunctioning Playdoh Reactor.
Young Air: So, Pornoroth, what's it like being the worlds greatest soldier to ever walk the earth?
Younger Pornoroth: I am not the greatest soldier to ever walk the earth. You are Air! Let me give you 500000000000000000 krill and a trophy!!!!!!! I love you!!!
In the real world...
Tarot: That's not really what happened, is it?
Air: No!!! But who cares??!!
Tarot: Me.
Air: Ok fine.
Flashback time again! It's the most annoying part, of the fic!!!...
Pornoroth: Don't talk to me nerd.
Young Air: I'm not a nerd.
Pornoroth: Yes you are, NERD!
Young Air: I'm not a nerd!!!
Pornoroth: Shut up nerd.
Young Air: Ok your majesty heinous.
We soon got to Jigglystem and met Young Tiara; she lead us to the reactor
Young Tiara: Air, you can lead us through these caves even though I'm the guide.
Young Air: Ok.
They go through the caves and into a maze and through the maze to a fountain.
Pornoroth: This is how Materia is made: A fountain like this produces energy which is stored all around, when this energy is...
It took him, like, 5 hours to explain it, and about 3 of those hours were
about how I was a nerd. Eventually, we got to the reactor...
Young Air: Young Tiara, you can stay outside.
We went inside and saw rows and rows of giant eggplants
Pornoroth: I wonder what these are?
Young Air: Duh, giant eggplants
Pornoroth: I mean, what are they here for. I don't think eggplants are needed to run a reactor.
Then, something came out of one of the eggplants, it was a bizarre monster.
Pornoroth and I ran away without completing our mission and hid in a
mansion.
Back to reality..
Air: I'll tell the rest in the next chapter.
Tarot: Looking forward to it, where's Tiara?
AirHead: I stuffed her in the closet.
Tarot: Oh, Ok then.
Guard: ZzzZZZZZZZzzzzzZZZZZzzzzzZZZZZZZZzzzzZZZZZZZzZZZZZzzzzzzzzZZZZ
Air: This is getting freaky.
Tarot: Reah, Reaky.
The team keeps walking and eventually find an elevator.
Teal 197097whatever: Let's call it.
Air: Yeah, HEY ELEVATOR! WHAT'S YOUR PHONE NUMBER??!! WE WAN'T TO CALL YOU!!!
Tiara: Maybe I'll do it. *Presses call button*
The elevator comes down and the team gets on.
Air: Where are we going?
AirHead: Well, we could go down and escape from this creepy place, or we could murder the resident.
Tarot: You mean the president?
AirHead: Uhh... sure.
They go up to the top to murder the president even though that won't solve anything. (would murdering Bush stop the forests from being destroyed?) At the next floor, a creepy goth girl comes in.
NOTE: I am not a goth, nor do I know anything about Goths besides stereotypes. If you are a goth, you will take offense from the goth character. You have been warned.
Tiara: Hello, freaky, creepy goth dude.
Tiara stares at this creep who's wearing pewter cross necklaces, tons of pairings, more makeup than face, black clothing, pentagram jewelry, what appears to be ripped fishnet, a spiked dog collar, and purple hair that's crazier then Air's.
Goth: Falling ever darkly into
the ebon abyss of feral eyes,
screaming against
the groping fingers of your
black obsessive passion,
torment.
Tarot: What are you doing here anyway?
Goth: ...
Tarot: I repeat, what are you doing here anyway?
Goth: ... (Too entranced in an Anne Rice Novel)
AirHead: Earth to Creep!!!
Goth Girl: Hissss.
Air: Can you like, talk normally?
Goth gal: To do so would enthrall my calamitous spirit and send ecstatic sparks of rejuvenating joy throughout my derelict mind of sorrow.
Tiara: Ok...
Tarot: Can you like, never talk to us again?
Goth Girl: *Pushes Tiara into the side of the elevator*
Tarot: Hey!
Goth: She was going to step on that ant.
Tarot: An ant is more important than my wife??!!
Goth: Already there are to many humans...
Elevator: Ding!
Teal 197097: Well, this is our stop. Bye.
The team rushes out of the elevator.
Everyone: Phew.
Tiara: I never want to see another goth again. If I do, I will go insane...
They keep walking until they get to the president's room.
Tarot: What, the president is dead! NNNnnnnnnnnnnoooooooooo!!!
Teal 197097: Our goal was to kill him anyway.
Tarot: But I didn't get to kill him.
Air: The Costumefe is in the president's back; only Pornoroth, Zack, and Tiara can use that blade.
AirHead: Then that means. (DUN Dun DUN)
Air: Pornoroth is alive.
Suddenly, a huge fat guy walks in.
Fat Guy: You killed the president Spitwad!
Teal 197097: THE president Spitwad?
Suddenly a teenager walks in.
Teenager: Hello people, I'm Fido.
Teal 197097, Air, AirHead, Tiara, Tarot, and Fat Guy: Hello Fido!
Fido: Yes I- WAIT A MINUTE! MY FATHER IS DEAD! I mean, uhh, yeah. I'm the one that killed my father, I'm not only now president, I'm also a murderer. COOL!!!
Air: You didn't kill him, you just showed up. We've been here the whole time. Pornoroth killed him.
Fido: (damn) Umm, that's just what it looks like because all of you are near blind because of the umm, Blindmakergassygasthing, it makes anyone who isn't name Fido become nearly blind!
Teal 197097: Then why can I see you just fine?
Fido: Umm, it only works on humans (yeah that's it)
Teal 197097: Then why didn't I see you kill the resident?
Air: You mean president?
Teal 197097: Whatever.
Fido: If you're so smart, you'll be able to kill me! Right?
Air: What?
Fido: Come Air! *Drags Air outside*
Air: You're crazy.
Fido: Yes I am, you will die.
meanwhile...
Tiara: We've got to wait for Air.
AirHead: Wait for that moron? Let's just get the hell out of here.
Tiara: I'm going to wait for Air; you can escape.
Teal 197097: Ok.
They run out of the building and into an elevator.
Tarot: Let's go down.
AirHead(sarcastically): No, really? I thought we should just stay here.
Tarot: Good thing I suggested it then.
They go down and soon hear a voice.
Voice: Transformers, robots in Da' Skies.
A robot flies by.
AirHead: I thought it was 'Robots in disguise' not 'Robots in da' skies'
Voice: D'oh! Transformers, robots in disguise.
Another elevator comes down by them and starts following them down the building.
Other elevator: Watch me transform!!!
The other elevator gets magically taken apart and put back together in a way that makes it look sortof like a toaster on pot.
Toaster thing: Let's battle!
Teal 197097: Ok, LIGHTING!!!
Lightning hits the toaster making it explode.
Tarot: Woah, where'd you learn that?
Teal 197097: Internet.
Back to Air...
Air: Why do you want to kill me?
Fido: It's all part of my plan. Once I kill you, DSR will have no way to continue this story; the ACRONYM joke is the main reason anyone likes this story, and if anyone else does it, it will be out of character. This story will be ruined, and DSR will finally have to write final idiotsy X. BWAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHHAhaaaahaHAHAHHAHAHHAAAHAHAHAHAHNANAAHAHAHHAHA HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHH AHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!!!
DSR: Don't bring up FIX. Ever.
Fido falls off the roof but comes back up riding on top of a helicopter's blades, because of this, he keeps twirling around.
Fido: YoU cAnT dEfEaT fIdO!!!
Air: Does that stand for Yellow Underlings Are Tasty, Evil, Edible Trees In Ohio?
Fido: No. AnD yOu CaNt WiN!!
Air: Who's piloting that helicopter?
Fido: Oh yeah. *Helicopter stops and falls* OK, MAYBE YOU can defeat me... *Vanishes*
DSR: That's what you get for bringing up the subject of FIX.
Air: I'm surprised that worked, I mean, this isn't like a cartoon.
Air walks a ways and then trips.
Laugh Track: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA snort HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Air runs until he sees Tiara.
Tiara: Let's go.
Air: I have a question about that goth-
Tiara: AHH!!!!
Air: Umm, ok...
Tiara: Don't say that word!
Air: What, Goth?
Tiara: AHHH!!!!!
Air: Cool. Goth!
Tiara: AHHHH!!!!!!
Air: Goth!
Tiara: AHHHH!!!!!!
Air: Goth!
Tiara: AHHHH!!!!!!
Air: Goth!
Tiara: AHHHH!!!!!!
Air: Gothy mcGothGoth of the Goth land of Goth!!!
Tiara: AHHHH!!! AHHHH!!! AHHHH!!! AHHHH!!! AHHHH!!!
Air: Ok let's go.
They run out and soon get to where the others are.
Air: You guys go and escape in that Ferrari *Points to Ferrari I'll escape on that Charcoal Bowl! *Points to a creature that looks like an ostrich with measles that's on heroin and has 3 humps and is asleep and is 6540932654 years old.
Tiara: Um, a ferrari only has two seats. Uhh, I CALL SHOTGUN!!!
They ride off leaving Air behind.
Air: Ok, Charcoality Boality. *Sits on Charcoal Boal* Mush! Mush! *Spanks Charcoal Boal*
Charcoal Bowl: WORK!!!! WORK!!!!
The charcoal Bowl starts running at about 856848829528519519888805682.456835 MPH, or, for you English readers, about 856848829528519519888805682.4568348 KPH. Soon, the charcoal bowl is way far past the ferrari and infact finally out of Mildew; 3 hours later the team catches up.
Air: What took you?
Tiara: We had to fight this boss that gave us 42936482348235482462548274018548153801534810586532985015081 gil each.
Air: Well, you're late! Lateness is a crime. I fine each of you 42936482348235482462548274018548153801534810586532985015081 gil.
Tiara: Ok, we don't use gil anyway; we use krill as the currency, remember.
AirHead: By the way, one gil ways 1/235 lbs. Good luck keeping up.
Air: D'OH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tarot: Let's just keep going on our quest.
Tiara: Our quest is to destroy the Playdoh reactors! We've only destroyed 1/4 of them! We've got to go back to Mildew to destroy the rest!
Tarot: Ok. *Goes back to Mildew only to see that you can't getback in* Ok, new plan: We Kill Pornoroth!
Teal 197097: What would that solve?
Tarot: Who cares??!! Let's just go.
They continue until they get to a town called Rowdy. When they enter, they see that the town is full of Goths.
Tiara: AHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
Tarot: A town of goths?
Tiara: AHHHHHHH!!! AAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!1
Teal 197097: Don't you think it's weird that goths are outcasts, but this is town of all outcasts, so to be an outcast you have to not be an outcast and you have to be an outcast to become a non outcast? Goths are normally exempt from society so here all of the people are exempt from society so there isn't a society so these people are normal and to them WE'RE freaks.
Tiara: *Twitch* Goths *Twitch* Gothic *Twitch* Everywhere *Twitch* Goths *Twitch*
Air: Let's go find an inn before Tiara goes crazy.
AirHead: Umm, Before?
Tiara: gothgothgothgothgothgothgothgoth *Twitch* gothgothgothgothgothgothgothgothgoth *Twitch* gothgothgothgoth *Twitch*
They run to an inn and lock themselves in their room.
Air: Well, while we wait for Tiara to regain sanity-
Tiara: goth *Twitch* Goth *Twitch* Goooooootttthhhh *Twitch* *Twitch* *Twitch* *Twitch* *Twitch* Goth! *Twitch* GOTH! *Twitch* goth *Twitch* *Twitch* *Twitch* gooooooooth *Twitch*
Air: -how about I tell you about PornoRoth in a completely fabricated story.
Tarot: Ok.
Air: Long, Long, Ago- in the town of Jigglystem...
Enter flashback:
I was riding in a trolley with some other GOOD GUY soldiers and Pornoroth.
We were sent to investigate a malfunctioning Playdoh Reactor.
Young Air: So, Pornoroth, what's it like being the worlds greatest soldier to ever walk the earth?
Younger Pornoroth: I am not the greatest soldier to ever walk the earth. You are Air! Let me give you 500000000000000000 krill and a trophy!!!!!!! I love you!!!
In the real world...
Tarot: That's not really what happened, is it?
Air: No!!! But who cares??!!
Tarot: Me.
Air: Ok fine.
Flashback time again! It's the most annoying part, of the fic!!!...
Pornoroth: Don't talk to me nerd.
Young Air: I'm not a nerd.
Pornoroth: Yes you are, NERD!
Young Air: I'm not a nerd!!!
Pornoroth: Shut up nerd.
Young Air: Ok your majesty heinous.
We soon got to Jigglystem and met Young Tiara; she lead us to the reactor
Young Tiara: Air, you can lead us through these caves even though I'm the guide.
Young Air: Ok.
They go through the caves and into a maze and through the maze to a fountain.
Pornoroth: This is how Materia is made: A fountain like this produces energy which is stored all around, when this energy is...
It took him, like, 5 hours to explain it, and about 3 of those hours were
about how I was a nerd. Eventually, we got to the reactor...
Young Air: Young Tiara, you can stay outside.
We went inside and saw rows and rows of giant eggplants
Pornoroth: I wonder what these are?
Young Air: Duh, giant eggplants
Pornoroth: I mean, what are they here for. I don't think eggplants are needed to run a reactor.
Then, something came out of one of the eggplants, it was a bizarre monster.
Pornoroth and I ran away without completing our mission and hid in a
mansion.
Back to reality..
Air: I'll tell the rest in the next chapter.
Tarot: Looking forward to it, where's Tiara?
AirHead: I stuffed her in the closet.
Tarot: Oh, Ok then.
