Airhead: Ok, let's go.
Air: Go where?
Tarot: Duh, to Charcoal Billy-Bob's Big Barn o' Charcoal bowls
Air: Why do we want to go there?
Tarot: TO GET A GODDAMN CHARCOAL BOWL!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Air: Does that stand for-
Tarot: NO IT DOESN'T!
Air: Does that stand for-
Tarot: NO!
Air: Does that stand for-
Tarot: NO!
Air: Does that stand for-
Tarot: NO!
Air: Does that stand for-
Tarot: NO!
Air: Does that stand for-
Tarot: NO!
Air: Does that stand for-
Tarot: NO!
Air: Does that stand for-
Tarot: WHY DO YOU HAVE TO DRIVE ME CRAZY??!!
Air: Does that-
Tarot: No.
Teal 197097: Air amazingly has a point, why do we need a Charcoal Bowl?
Tarot: Weren't you paying attention?
Airhead, Tiara, Teal 197097, and Air: No.
Tarot: ugh, there was a Goth-
Tiara: AAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh
Tarot: [sigh] There was a person in Rowdy who said he saw someone go to Onion, It could just be another G-o-t-h, but there's a 1/1000000000000000000000 chance that It's You-know-who
Air: You mean Voldemort?
Tarot (sarcastically): Yes, Lord Voldemort is going to Onion.
Air: We better get professor Quirrel to help us.
Tiara: Air, Quirrel died in book 1, and besides, he was Voldemort's Slave, and besides, THAT WAS A WORK OF FICTION!!!
Air: Does that stand for Teal Hats Are Too Wooly And Sticky And Worthless Orders, Really, Kangaroo Offspring Farts Fuel Ions Cleaner then "Ion Orange Nut"?
Airhead: Air, next time you make an acronym, will it at least make sense?
Air: No
And so they finally go to that charcoal bowl place
Charcoal Billy-Bob: Why haldo to ya'll, I'm Charcoal Billy-Bob o' Charcoal Billy-Bob's big barn o' charcoal bowls. How can I help you? Would you like a Charcoal-Bowl?
Tarot (sarcastically): Noooooooo, we just came here to look at the hay...
Charcoal Billy-Bob: Well we don't use hay here... We use alfalfa, natural hay.
Teal 197097: Hay and alfalfa is the same thing.
Charcoal Billy-Bob: Well I'll be a monkey's uncle's cousin's sister's cat's brother's killer! That's a crazy-
Tarot: CAN WE JUST GET A GODDAMN CHARCOAL BOWL??!!
Air: Do-
Tarot: Air, you know the answer to that question.
Charcoal Billy-Bob: Well you can have a plain ol' Black one, a normal guy. You can have a Jesus Charcoal Bowl, it'll walk on water and turn it into wine. You can have a climb-climb charcoal Bowl , which can walk up a cliff, or the fabled Gold Charcoal Bowl which can do all the above things! Which do you want?
Tarot: How does the Jesus Charcoal Bowl walk on Water?
Billy: Yes the Gold Charcoal Bowl-
Tarot: And wouldn't we fall of the climb-climb one?
Billy: Golden Beauties ; they're a natural wond-
Tarot: JUST ANSWER MY FREAKING QUESTIONS!!!!!!!
Air: Does that stand for Jewish Uzbekistanis Steal Trees And Nougat Starting Wednesdays Every Recess-
Tarot: Shut up.
Teal 197097: The Gold Charcoal Bowl isn't real.
Billy: Huh?
Teal guy: I saw someone painting a Black Charcoal Bowl Gold outside.
Billy: Well naturally the, umm, I'LL GIVE YOU A FREE CHARCOAL BOWL IF YOU KEEP IT SECRET.
Air: Deal.
And so they went with the charcoal bowl out of the ranch and to the swamp
Air: Ok, let's go cross that swamp for reasons I can no longer remember!
And they go to the swamp
Air: Okay, now that you're all in my backpack or something, we can all fit on the charcoal Bowl, let's go.
[Note: for best results, read the following part while humming the chicken dance.]
[Or not.]
Teal guy: Let's go.
Charcoal Bowl: Work Work.
The Charcoal Bowl takes off going really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really slow.
Tarot: How anti-un climactic.
Tiara: Huh?
The charcoal Bowl takes off and soon runs into the Mildew SoreThumb who is "standing" up and looking really intimidating.
Air: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!!!!! Anaconda!!!!!!
Tarot: Full Speed Ahead!
The Charcoal Starts running really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, fast. Soon it reaches the Anaconda thing, and begins to run up its "body".
Airhead: How is it that this normal charcoal bowl can climb up this 90 degrees snake?
Tarot: You heard us, all the charcoal bowls are the same, but painted.
Air: Did you say 90 degrees?
Airhead: Yeah.
Air: Wow, I knew Snakes were warm-blooded, but THAT warm?
Tarot: Air, You're an idiot.
Teal Guy: How is it that this conversation has been going on so long if we're going really fast?
Air: Not Really fast. Really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, fast.
Suddenly they get to the head of the Snake-wall, and the Snake lunges a bit and eats the charcoal Bowl in one bite.
[End humming if by chance you were]
Air: Shit.
They fall down and land in the swamp.
Tarot: We're wet with mucky water; we're being chased by a snake-thing-
Airhead: Run!!!!!!!!
They do, and soon they get a shore. On the shore (they're on the one opposite where they started) they see a Giant Snake, Dead.
Tarot: Isn't that the exact same Snake we just ran away from, but dead?
Teal guy: No. You see, our minds knew subconsioscially that we must be faster if we wish to end our Journey-type-thing. We were going slow and letting the man with the nasty name get away, so our minds played a trick on us to make us go faster. Together, our minds acted using the cerebral cortex vortex mortix tortoise to make the apparent image of the snake, taking the image from the opposite shoreline. The snake we ran away from was just an image in our whatever-the-hell part of the brain I said, making us go faster.
Airhead: That was the stupidest thing I have ever heard, and I travel with Air.
Air: I'm annoying!!!
Tarot: I agree.
Air and Airhead: With Me?
Tarot: With both of you; Teal whatever-the-hell-number-that-is, are you implying that our charcoal bowl ran up and was eaten by a figment of our imagination?
Teal Guy: Yes!
[Long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, pause]
Tiara: Makes sense to me.
Air: I get it.
Tarot: Ok.
Airhead: Makes perfect sense.
Air: Let's go into those caves.
And so they go into those caves. But what dangers await our heroes? Find out by reading more. You can go read more.
Air: Wow. A cave maze. How original.
Tarot: Hey, don't bag the cave.
Air: Huh?
They go through the cave and soon meet The Guys from Turkey.
Rambo: Hello.
Macarena: I'm Macarena, I'm new. I'm going to step you every stop of the way sorry other way around because you're getting in our way not the other way around HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Pornoroth went to Funion™ our base I'm not supposed to say that but I did Oops HAHAHAHAHA!!!
Crude: Macarena, you talk too much.
And so they travel out of the caves and a million people get mad about all the narration
Air: Wow, what's that?
The camera shows a humongous PLAYDOH REACTOR BADBADBAD with a, umm...
Tarot: Let's just go in and have them explain.
Tiara: Good Plan.
They enter the reactor and climb to the top; soon they see a man waiting.
Man: Hello, welcome to Fort Condom
Tarot: I really hope you mean condominium.
Man: No. I can see you're very strong. This, it's a reactor and a condom. Looks
like there's a special materia up in the Playdoh Reactor. Then came the Condoms, so
GOOD GUY dispatched the troops to get rid of the condom and the people on this
mountain and to get the materia from the Reactor and steal the condom. Unfortunately, we don't have the ability to fight GOOD GUY ourselves, and they made a whole new group dedicated to fighting us. That's why we have hired soldiers to help us. As our sponsor you can help us with a contribution or by fighting alongside of us... What do you think? You want to join us in our fight? You want to fight the group of soldiers known as "The Trojan Men"? Only you can prevent our deaths! What do you say? Will You fight??!!
Air: Nah.
Tarot: Let's go.
And they do.
Air: Let's go to Funion™
Teal 197097: But first, let's run around in that grass [points to grass]
Tiara: COOL!!
Airhead: I haven't spoken much!
After a while of running around...
Battle start: (enemies: ninja (x1))
Female Ninja: Hello there, I'm going to fight you for no reason!
Air: Cool!
Ninja: Fire
Air: OUCH!!! Limit: COWARDLYER!!!!!!!!!
Ninja: OW! You spiky headed jerk! One more time!
Air: Not interested.
Ninja: Okay, my name is Euphoria. I'll just join you and lureyoutomyhometownwherei'llstealyourmateria
Air: I have no idea what you said, but welcome aboard!
I'm very sorry that I haven't updated in such a long time: My cousin who I haven't seen in two years was visiting for a while, and for me family takes priority over Idiotsy. I hope there are no hard feelings. Also, sorry that this chapter isn't very funny, I think I've jumped the shark.
