Diaper Gnome

The Griffins are sitting on their couch watching "The Dukes of Hazard."

Peter: That so could have been me. Hey, remember when I put a flamethrower on the car?

Flashback: Shows a station wagon with a grill duct taped to the back of it. Peter turns on the "flamethrower" and catches on fire. "Oh, oh, God, oh, God!" Peter stops, drops, and rolls, then gets up and has poop on his back. Brian walks away while folding a newspaper. (End Flashback)

Lois: Hey, where is Brian anyway?

A gnome opens the door and frolics around.

Gnome: If it is Brian you wish to find, follow the trail of whiskey and wine.

Awkward silence, everyone just stares at the gnome with shifty eyes.

Stewie: Wait! You're that blasted diaper gnome!

Stewie tries to grab for the gnome but is strapped in to his high chair.

Stewie: Damn the confinements of this contraption!

The gnome giggles and runs away

Peter: Oh God! What the… Ohh there he is, there's Brian!

Peter pulls Brian out from under the sofa cushion where he is sitting. Brian is gasping for air

Brian: I don't know what happened, but I do know that I have just seen things that no man or dog has ever seen before.

Lois gets Stewie out of his high chair and puts him down on the ground.

Lois: Here Stewie, you play with your toys.

Stewie reaches under the sofa and pulls out a ray gun and a screwdriver.

Stewie: I will get my arch nemesis yet! That damn diaper gnome.

In the back yard, Lois is hosing Brian off.

Lois: This isn't the first time this has happened.

Brian: It was all a blur, it just happened so fast.

Peter is in the back yard doing yard work.

Peter: Hey Lois, where's the rake?

Lois: What?

Peter: "I" (points to his eye) "need" (points to his knee) "the rake" (does raking motions)

Lois: Oh I see! (She points to her eye, then her left breast, then her butt, and then her front side)

Peter: What?

Lois: (Does the motions again)

Peter: What the hell is she doing?

Peter runs up to Lois.

Peter: What are you trying to say?

Lois: (With the motions) I left it behind the bush.

Peter gets the rake and goes back to doing yard work.

Peter: Hey, hey Lois. Hey Lois. Hey.

Lois: What Peter!

Peter: Hey, why did the blonde fall out of the tree?

Lois: (sighs) I don't know, why?

Peter: Because she was raking leaves. Get it, ha, raking leaves.

Lois just stares. Just then Chris goes out into the yard looking upset.

Chris: Mom! Meg called me a boy!

Lois: Sweetie you are a boy! (Rolling her eyes)

Chris: Oh…

Chris goes back inside, but Stewie sneaks out the door.

Stewie: Ha ha, I have escaped and defeated the odious fetters of adolescence! I am free, now I can seek revenge on the diaper gnome and claim what is rightfully mine.

With his ray gun, Stewie runs off into the sunset.