Harley and Ivy

Chapter 4: The One The Morning After

BY

The Uncanny R-Man

Disclaimer- I don't own anything, all familiar characters belong to DC.


Shout Outs-

Proponent of EVO- Yeah, I guess so.

Shiny94a- You can bet that Mister J will pop up to spoil everything.

Showstopper- Nice idea for including the guys form 'Truth, Justice, Pizza!' but I was planning on keeping this mainstream Titans.

Agent-G- I wasn't sure whether to pair Harley and Ivy up form day one but I guess that decision was popular so I'll keep with it. Can't wait to see if and when you write that fic.


Jump City-

Harley Quinn was sitting in a hot tub on the balcony of their penthouse suite on the top of one of Jump City's most prestigious hotels. She was instructing the owner of the Jump City Art Gallery about the arrangements for her exhibition via her cell phone.

'I don't care how much it costs, I want five dozen red M&M's in a brandy glass in my dressing-room or I won't go on! What do you mean I won't get a dressing-room? Well get me a damn dressing-room or you can forget about the damn exhibition!'

Unseen by Harley, Ivy walked out onto the balcony clad only in a fluffy bathrobe. She walked upto the hot tub and sat on the edge. Not realising this, Harley continued with her phone call.

'And another thing, I want the whole room to be covered with vines and loadsa plant crap. I don't care if it doesn't fit my style of art, just do the damn thing!'

Ivy just shook her head good-naturedly and let the robe fall around her ankles. Harley saw this and blinked a few times in surprise.

'I'll call you back.' She said as she turned off her cell phone.


Later-

Harley's exhibition wasn't due until the next day so she decided to treat Ivy to a romantic dinner. Ivy gladly accepted the offer and went off to get ready.

The pair was presently perusing the menu.

'It would be nice if I could understand what the damn thing said.' Harley muttered as she tried to make sense of the menu.

'That's because we're in a French restaurant.' Ivy replied. 'Don't tell me that you can't speak French.'

'Okay then Red, I won't tell ya.'

'Come here and I'll translate for you.' Ivy said as she took Harley's hand. Harley smiled happily at the close proximity to her friend. Their relationship had gone in leaps and bounds. Okay, they hadn't got that far if you catch my drift, they were just at the kissing and holding hands part. Ivy was reluctant at first, given that her kiss was pretty much deadly but it turned out that it didn't work on women, only men.

The pair had almost decided on what to have when the door to the restaurant burst in and a really short guy waltzed in with a bunch of robots.

'Listen quick Slug-Humpers! This is a hold-up so gimmie all your valuables!'

Gizmo gave the signal and his robots went about gathering up valuables.

'Hey Shorty, you do know that it's rude to take what ain't yours, right?' Harley asked.

Gizmo spun to look at Harley.

'Bite me, Snot-Eater!'

Harley picked up a silver platter and brandished it like a discus.

'Geez, your insults suck!' She said as she threw the platter at him. Unfortunately, Gizmo's robots blasted it before it could hit its target.

Unseen by Gizmo or his robots, Ivy crept up to one of the palm trees by the entrance and placed her palm onto it. She had took the liberty of making a small cut in her hand with a knife, the resulting blood mixed with the palm tree and caused it to mutate into a freaky vine monster. Said vines whipped out and destroyed the robots before they could even let off one blast.

'Not to tough without your robots, are you kiddo?' Harley smirked.

'You won't get me, Butt-Munchers!' Gizmo said as he ran towards the kitchen.

'Red, you make sure nobody's hurt and I'll take care of the kid!'

'Right on it.' Ivy said as she went to check up on the other patrons while Harley headed off after Gizmo.


The kitchen-

Harley ran through the doors of the kitchen. Unfortunately, Gizmo was ready with a frying pan. Being such a short ass, all he could manage to do was hit Harley on the knee.

'Ow! Dammit, who uses a frying pan, honestly? You suck!' She hissed as she rubbed her knee.

Gizmo just laughed out loud, not seeing that Harley was about to use him as a football. He let out a squeal as Harley booted him across the kitchen, landing on one of the oven hobs. Gizmo shrieked in pain as the hob burnt his backside. Harley ran up to him with a wooden rolling pin.

WHAP!

She hit him over the head.

'How much does it take to knock you out?' Harley groaned.

Gizmo picked up a meat cleaver and ran at Harley with it.

'Okay then Chucky, no more Missus-Nice-Clown!'

Harley grabbed a jar of mustard and smashed it over Gizmo's head. Once he was stunned, she grabbed him by the collar and threw him into a walk-in refrigerator. She locked the door and leant against it, trying to catch her breath.

'Whew, thank God that's over.' Harley panted. 'Aww buts, I'm covered in mustard and cream now.'

Harley wiped her finger down her dress and tasted some of the mess.

'Hmm, not bad. Kinda gives me an idea for my next masterpiece.'


Later-

Harley was still covered in mustard and cream when the Teen Titans came to take away a frozen Gizmo. To say that Robin was shocked at the thought of Harley going straight would be an understatement.

While Robin was talking to Harley, Cyborg poked at the frozen Gizmo.

'Geez man, what a waste.'

Raven cocked a curious brow.

'Of food, I mean.' Cyborg added as he indicated the mess. 'I don't wanna be the one to tidy this up.'

'I'm sorry that your night couldn't have gone more smoothly.' Robin said. 'It's usually quiet on a Wednesday.'

'No sweat, Birdy.' Harley replied as she ruffled the Boy Wonder's hair. She then winced and wiped the excess gel down Beast Boy's back.

'Hey, no fair!' The green changeling said in disgust.

'You might wanna cut back on that stuff you put in your hair, Birdy.' Harley groaned.

'I for one think that it is most joyous that you have chosen to join the good guys!' Starfire said a she clapped her hands excitedly. 'Perhaps another day we could partake of braiding manoeuvres on each other's hair and talk about boys.'

'Not that the idea don't sound promising.' Harley replied. 'But I'm not so sure about the last part.'

'What ever do you mean?' Starfire asked innocently.

Robin, Cyborg and Raven got it almost instantly.

'You mean... you and Ivy...?' Robin stammered.

'Yup, we're together!' Harley grinned proudly as she put her arm around Ivy and kissed her on the cheek.

'Good for you.' Raven replied.

Cyborg and Beat Boy just drooled a bit while Starfire still looked confused.

'Well we can't stay here all night.' Harley said. 'I've got an art exhibition tomorrow and I want to get up nice and early tomorrow to go insult the gallery owner. You can be the guests of honour if you want.'

'Oh yes, that would be most joyous!' Starfire said as she grabbed Harley in a huge hug. 'We would love to see you show of art!'

'I can't go if yer crush my ribs, can I?' Harley groaned.

Starfire let go and blushed at her enthusiasm.

'Say hi to Bats for me.' Harley said to Robin as she linked arms with Ivy and walked off. 'Seeya kids! Enjoy your shortass on a stick!'

Once the pair had gone, Robin took out him communicator and set it to call Batman.

'Batman, we've got a situation...'

TBC...


Next: The One With The Guy In Blue

Harley and Ivy travel to Metropolis for the next part of their tour. Guest starring: Superman and Batman!