Yet again I have taken forever to load the next chapter, but internet connection let me down! I have broadband, but I can't access towards the end of every month. I think I must be downloading too much stuff (damn you alias – media . com!). So as I am typing this, I'm sitting in the commerce building at Adelaide Uni!
Thanks to sydofthesea, Vaughn-Syd-4ever, diveprincess, tine, freitazal and alias-sydney93001 for all your amazing reviews – I truly appreciate it!
I have an epilogue which will be posted either this Friday or the following Monday!
Enjoy reading! This is a long one and the hardest chapter to write.
Please review!
Chapter 28 - Home
"Passengers, we are beginning our descent into LAX. We hope you have enjoyed your trip with us today and will choose to travel with us again in the future"
Vaughn stretched his arms above his head. The CIA was unable to organize a private plane for him, so instead they bought him a first class ticket on a commercial airline. Not that he minded. The thought of flying alone, with no company but the pilots in the cockpit, did not appeal to him. Plus how many times in his life was he going to get the chance to fly first class?
Slowly the plane stopped and Vaughn slowly made his way of the plane. His thigh was still hurting and he had to be careful not to bang into other passengers. But his mind was distracted from any pain his thigh might have given him.
I am colorblind
Coffee black and egg white
Pull me out from inside
I am ready
I am ready
I am ready
Vaughn hated terminals. Walking along the long corridors, your stomach doing flip-flops. Vaughn knew that his "family and friends" had been told of his arrival. But he was uncertain about how many of them would show up. It didn't matter though. She would be there.
I am taffy stuck and tongue tied
Studder, shook and uptight
Pull me out from inside
I am ready
I am ready
I am ready
I am fine
He walked through the gates with the rest of the passengers, scanning the crowd for a familiar face. He looked and looked, unable to see any and he felt his heart fall slightly. Then he spotted her, standing away from the crowd to one side. And he saw she was crying.
I am covered in skin
No one gets to come in
Pull me out from inside
I am folded and unfolded and unfolding
I am colorblind
He wasn't sure how, but all of a sudden they were together, her arms flung around his neck. He felt her warm tears against the collar of his shirt, and he pulled her into his body even tighter.
Coffee black and egg white
Pull me out from inside
I am ready
I am ready
I am ready
I am fine
Vaughn couldn't believe he was here, in her arms again. Home again. There was no word in the world that could describe how he felt at this very moment. All he knew was that this was the way things were supposed to be.
I am fine
I am fine
21212121
Sydney wasn't the only person who came to welcome him back. Weiss and his mother were also there, but politely waited for Sydney and Vaughn to finish their welcome before making their presence known.
"Hey man" Weiss laughed as he gave his friend a quick hug. "It's good to have you home"
"Oh Michael" his mother cried as she hugged him fiercely, knocking the wind out of him.
"Tout est correct maintenant" he choked out, patting his mother on the back.
The trip back to the apartment was a noisy one. Weiss and Amelie tried to fill Vaughn in on everything he had missed out on while he was aware. While the car was full of laughs, Sydney became quiet. She was sitting next to him, her hand firmly holding hers, but kept almost completely out of the conversation.
Arriving at his apartment, Vaughn was hit with the strangest sensation.
"This all feels like a dream" he whispered to Sydney as his mother and Weiss got out of the car.
"It's better than a dream" she replied with a smile, getting out of the car.
Every room was the same as it was before and someone had obviously been up to air out the rooms. The blinds and windows were all open and sunlight was pouring into the rooms. The apartment felt so comfortable, Vaughn almost found it hard to imagine what it was like living here everyday.
"Okay, I have to go. I'm organizing another party for you tonight and as always, I've left everything to the last minute" Weiss announced.
"A party? You didn't need to" Vaughn protested
"Too late, I'll see you guys later" Weiss called over his shoulder as he walked through the door.
"I should go too. I have to collect Therese's kids from school. I'm sorry I can't stay for longer Michael" Amelie said, before hugging her son, gentler than before.
"That's okay Maman. Do you want me to come around tomorrow? We could have dinner?"
"I would like that. Sydney, will you be coming?"
"I'll try" Sydney replied, a nervous smile on her face, which unsettled Vaughn slightly.
Amelie simply nodded and with a quick kiss for both of them, she too was gone.
Vaughn walked back from letting his mother out and leant in the door frame, watching Sydney. She was sitting on one end of his couch, her knees pulled up to her chest and a worried expression on her face.
"You have been quiet" Vaughn said, his hands in his pockets as he remained standing.
"Just thinking" she replied, forcing a smile that he saw through straight away. She rose and brushed past him on her way to the kitchen. Vaughn stretched out his hand and grasped her arm, forcing her to turn and look at him. Sydney first averted his gaze before he cupped her face and forced him to look him in the eyes.
"Don't push me away" he whispered, gently tracing his fingers over the still familiar contours of her face.
"I'm not… I just know how to do this" she whispered
"You don't have to do anything" Vaughn insisted
"I haven't seen you in almost a year Vaughn!" Sydney yelled, pushing away from Vaughn. "Sometimes I look at you and think, were we ever like that? Were we ever that happy, that in love?"
"Sydney, every time I look at you, all I can think about is how in love with you I am" Vaughn replied sadly, before silently heading towards his room and quietly shutting the door behind him.
As soon as he shut the door, he slowly slid down against it. Tears welled in his eyes as he felt his heart slowly break. All these months of wishing a dreaming and in less than a minute, they all seemed to be slowly drifting out of his grasp. He hung his head, ashamed that he believed that they could just go back to being the way they used to be.
Suddenly, he felt a door softly vibrate and became aware that Sydney was knocking on the door, begging him to let her in.
"Please Vaughn, I didn't mean it… please, just let me in… Vaughn we have to talk about this…" He could hear the tears in her voice and slowly shifted to one side so she could open the door.
She walked in, her cheeks stained with tears, looking around desperately for Vaughn. She slowly took a seat next to him, their sides gently touching.
"I'm so sorry" she said, wiping the tears from her cheeks.
"Every day I would get up and go for a workout. All I could see was you" Vaughn said, his eyes focused on some far off point. "I felt so alone, so I would think about what you would be doing, what we would have been doing if I was still in LA. I thought I would come home and you would be here and we could be as happy. Because I love you. Its like an ache that only disappears when I'm with you" Vaughn finished, casting a quick sideways glance at Sydney before returning his eyes to their far away place.
"You scare me" Sydney said after they sat silently for a few minutes. "The effect you have on me scares me like nothing else. I hadn't seen you in so long and the moment I saw you in the airport, I just couldn't control myself. The day I got you letter was probably one of the worst days of you being away"
"I didn't mean for that to be the case. I didn't even know if you got it"
Sydney smiled sadly before she began reciting the familiar words.
"Dear Sydney,
How can I find the words to describe to you the way I feel about you? Every moment of everyday, all I can think about is how much I love you and how much I miss you being near. I miss everything about you, from you smile when I tease you to the way to the way you smell to the sound you make when I kiss that certain spot on your neck. You haunt my dreams, as if teasing me, making feel guilty about going on this mission. Then I shake my head, tell myself I'm stupid, that you would never have stopped me from going, that you knew I had to. Then it hits me – that no matter what you may be in my dreams, in real life you are so much more. How many people can say that? Obviously they haven't found their perfect one. Because I know I have.
I will love you forever. Never doubt that.
Always yours"
Vaughn smiled. "Your dad visited our base of operations for a few days. I only heard he was leaving that day. I went back to my room, quickly scribbled that and had to run to get to the helicopter on time. I didn't even sign it"
"You didn't need to"
Suddenly Vaughn felt a gentle hand on his cheek as his face was guided to hers. They kissed in a sweet and passionate reunion, each desperate to communicate how much they missed the other. How much they loved the other. Before they realized it, Vaughn transferred them to lying on the floor. Sydney wriggled along the soft carpet so she completely under him and they slowly, yet passionately, rediscovered each other.
"You are so beautiful" he whispered in her ear before gently brushing his lips along her jaw line.
"I love you so much" she replied, slowly unbuttoning his shirt which she pushed off his shoulders. She gently ran her hands over his darker body, learning the new contours. Vaughn slowly pulled her tee shirt over her head, running his hands through her soft hair and listening as she moaned beneath him. Slowly, they made love in a way that neither of them ever had before. It was deeper, slower, more meaningful, and as they lay in the bask of their new experience, they each knew that their love meant they would never be alone again.
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