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Chapter 3
Trust
I'm falling through the door
Flying across the floor
When you look at me
Suddenly it's clear
You're learning of my dreams
Crazy as it seems
I don't want to be anywhere but here
Anywhere but here- Hilary Duff
Remus's POV (same day)
Hermione led them up the marble staircase and around the corridors. Her walk was powerful and full of confidence, but her face showed another story. Her eyes were filled with fear, and Remus got the impression that she didn't want to tell them, or that she wasn't supposed to.
By the time they got to the portrait hole, Hermione's face was set. She still had worry in her eyes, those beautiful brown eyes he loved so much, but now there was resolve there too. She gave the password and went through the door. The others followed her.
Lily ran up and caught up with Hermione. She started whispering but Hermione didn't respond. Hermione led them to the back most corner of the common room, where no one was sitting. She sat down in one of the armchairs and waited for the rest of them to sit down, then said 'What do you want to know?"
Lily made an indignant noise from beside Remus. He turned around. "You're just asking them what they want to know? You kept me waiting for almost three weeks."
"But that's because I didn't horribly screw up," said Hermione.
"Yes, you did."
"And I told you three days later."
"Wait, wait, Lily!" said James. "You knew something the rest of us didn't and didn't tell us?"
"That's because I asked her not to," said Hermione. She had regained the fear in her eye and her breathing seemed to stagger. "What do you want to know?"
Remus turned around. "I want to know how you know about the one eyed witch passage and how you know about the map."
The others all turned to Hermione. "You know about the map?" said Sirius seriously.
Hermione nodded. "I do."
"What map is this?" said Lily. "Okay, this is a bit unfair."
"How do you know about the map," said Sirius.
"Can you tell me what map?" said Lily. "You could have mentioned this the other day, Hermione."
"First she can tell me how she knows about it, them we can tell you what it is," said Sirius.
"Why don't you get it out Mr. Padfoot," said Hermione. James, Sirius, Peter and Remus froze. Oh no, Remus thought, she can't. She can't know that much.
"Go ahead, get it out." said Hermione. Sirius looked around at them all and, seeing their blank faces, pulled out the parchment and handed it to Hermione.
"Thanks," she said unfolding it. "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good". Remus felt himself freeze again. This wasn't looking good.
"Before you freak us out any more can you please explain how the hell you know all this," said Sirius who appeared to be getting frustrated. "We don't give out leaflets you know."
"I know about the map, because- well no I won't start there."
"Why not?" said Remus. "That's what I wanted to know."
"But if I tell you that you'll have more questions so i have to start from the beginning. Lily, how did I explain this to you?"
"The dates," said Lily simply.
"Right," she said. "What would you say if I told you that I have known you for seven years?"
"I'd say you were bloody crazy," said Sirius.
"That's exactly why I didn't want to tell you," said Hermione.
"Well now you have to," said Sirius.
"I'm not stupid," she said. "So, I've known you all for seven years.'
"You are bloody crazy,' said Sirius.
"You don't know when to shut up do you?" she said. Remus was surprised at her boldness. Not many people lived after talking to Sirius Black like that. Or at least they didn't come out without being jinxed.
"No, I don't suppose I do. It's a skill I'm proud of."
"That "skill" is going to get you in trouble," said Hermione.
"Sirius, will you just shut up and let her tell us before we don't care anymore," said Remus, still marveling over Hermione's nerve.
"Thanks," said Hermione. Sirius looked reproachful. "Now, the day you found me was September 28th 1977, wasn't it?"
"Yes," said Remus. This wasn't making any sense.
"That day I was attacked. That attack got me here. I wasn't supposed to be. I'm not really a transfer from Beauxbaton. I'm actually a student here at Hogwarts."
"That's not possible," said James. "I've never seen you before."
"No you haven't," said Hermione.
"Then how are you a student?"
"I got a letter and came to Hogwarts seven years ago."
"But we've never seen you," said Sirius.
"Guys let her talk," said Remus. He wanted to hear what she had to say before she didn't have the energy or the nerve to get it out.
"I was attacked September 28th 1997."
Remus paused. That was impossible. Either he was dreaming or Sirius was right and she was crazy.
"I say it again, you are bloody crazy," said Sirius.
"Sorry to say it but I agree with Sirius on this one," said James.
"Are you justified to make that assumption Mr. Prongs?" asked Hermione smiling.
"No probably not," said James shaking his head and looking taken aback.
"That's what I thought."
"Are you kidding?" said Sirius. "Are you really trying to tell us that you're from the future?"
"No I'm not kidding and I'm not trying to tell you anything. I am telling you that I am from the year 1997. I am trying to make you listen however."
"Lily, do you believe this?" James demanded, looking to her for support.
"Yes I do and if you weren't so stubborn you'd believe it too."
"Give us some proof," said Sirius. Hermione rolled her eyes.
"I know all your nicknames."
"You could have figured that out just by listening to us."
"I know that two years ago-"Remus drew a breath. She was going to say that they completed their animagus transformations. He caught Hermione's eye and threw her a look.
"…Two years ago James and Sirius tortured Snape down by the lake after your defense O.W.L.'s."
"How'd you know that?" James demanded. He was slightly red.
"Harry told me." Remus saw Lily smile. What about this "Harry" would make her smile like that?
"Who the hell is Harry?" said Sirius and James together. Lily shot James a look.
"Harry Potter," said Hermione.
James had frozen. Remus hid a smile. That was pretty explanatory to all of the. The look on James's face was priceless.
"Harry Potter?" said James. Hermione nodded.
"He's the one who told me about the map. Well, he actually showed it to me."
"And what about the nicknames?" said Sirius. Evidently he was trying to keep his voice casual.
"You did that one."
"Bloody hell," said Sirius thunderstruck. All of them had the same shocked expression on their faces; a mixture of shock, disbelief, and I'm-sure-I've-misheard-her.
"So, anything else you want to know?" said Hermione.
"You can't tell us anything else, can you?" Remus asked.
"No, not really."
"Okay then, we are all set."
Hermione's POV (later that night)
Hermione was sitting in the common doing her homework. The boys had been avoiding her ever since she had talked to them. She and Lily came to the conclusion that it was the boy way of dealing with the interesting news. Hermione silently agreed with them. Lily asked her questions when she least expected it and Hermione had come very close to telling her important information.
Lily had gone to bed about half an hour before, but Hermione desperately wanted to finish her homework so she had stayed. It was much nicer now that almost everyone was gone.
The portrait hole opened and Hermione saw the boys crawl in. She decided no to ask what they had been doing. There had been a huge commotion in the great hall that she could hear from here and she had no doubts about the source of the disturbance.
"No, you guys go ahead,' she hear one of them say. Three pairs of feet climbed up the boy's staircase but another walked over to her table. "Hey."
She looked up and saw Remus. "Hey,' she said smiling.
"What are you doing?" he asked sitting down.
"I wanted to finish my transfiguration," said. What an idiotic thing to talk about.
"Hermione-"
"Before you say anything, I just want to thank you again," she said. Remus seemed taken aback. "I mean for earlier when Snape and the other Slytherins had me cornered. I was- a lot more scared then I let on."
"Why?"
"Because, I don't really know, but I suppose because of what happened the last time I was attacked. I was worried they might do something else. It's not very much fun to be sent back in time. Not that I don't like it here, but there's just so much you can't say of talk about."
"Who attacked you before," he asked.
Hermione found herself closer to Remus than she remembered. "I shouldn't tell you."
"It's okay. Go ahead."
Hermione leaned forward a little more. "Draco Malfoy."
"Anyway related to Lucius?"
"Yes, he's his son. You know him?"
"He was here about two years ago. How did he send you back?"
"I don't really know. Dumbledore has a lot of theories but you never know. Dumbledore has occasionally been wrong." Hermione realized that she was very close to his face.
"Hermione-" But he was cut off as their lips met. Remus's hand went to her knee. Her own rose to his neck and into his hair.
He pulled away gently. She sat back a little and looked into his blue eyes. He looked away.
"Hermione we shouldn't do this. After what you said to us earlier we just can't."
"What?" she said. She had just kissed him and now he was telling her that it was a mistake or something.
"It's not like I don't like you, I really do, but it's not safe. I bet Dumbledore didn't want you to tell us. It could completely endanger time and who know what could happen? We don't know if you've changed anything. You being here could change even the simplest events."
"Remus, I-" but she couldn't fight him. He was completely right. It didn't occur to her that there was another reason.
Remus looked out the window and sighed. "I'll see you tomorrow." He stood up and started to join the others in the boy's dormitories. Hermione looked at him and then out the window at the crescent moon and everything he was saying clicked.
"Remus Lupin you are doing it again," she said. She saw him stop and then turn around, a confused look on his face.
"Doing what?" he asked clearly bewildered.
"Sit back down," she said. "You are trying to protect someone by not associating with them. This isn't the first time you've done it and I know that it will not be the last."
Remus nearly missed the chair. "I'm what-Hermione, I-how?"
"How about I tell you a story? Yes it's a future story, but I don't think you'll get any unnecessary information out of it.
"Okay, there were three students at Hogwarts. It was their third year and they were getting a new teacher. They didn't really know anything about him but he quickly became the best defense teacher the ever had.
"No other teacher had challenged them like he did, but he didn't pile them. Everyone passed defense that year.
"There was one problem with this teacher however. Perfect as he was, there was something wrong.
"It wasn't in his lessons. He wasn't mean or particularly strict. It wasn't even really a problem, just more of an inconvenience. An inconvenience for both the professor and the students. Every now and then this wonderful teacher was too sick to teach or so he said.
"But one of those three students was rather intellectual and wanted to out why he was so ill. It wasn't that difficult; the class had studied boggarts and, while everyone had thought his was a crystal ball, this student knew differently.
"With this information she consulted a lunar chart." A sharp intake of breathe from Remus told her he knew what she was going to say next
"That girl was me. And the professor was you. Or will be. One or the other," she said softly, smiling and watching his bright, beautiful, blue eyes. They glowed through the darkness of the common room.
"Hermione, I-
"It doesn't matter to me," she whispered.
"What?" he said, clearly unable to believe her words.
"It doesn't matter to me" she repeated. "It never has." She was obeyed her urge to lean forward and shorten the gap between their faces. There was only a few inches left.
"You don't care about it?' he asked in a deathly quiet whisper, wanting to confirm what he had just heard. His head had come closer to hers and she could feel his breath.
"No I don't." she felt her face move again, leaving the space nearly two inches apart.
"So-so," he seemed to be struggling to speak. She looked into his eyes and he knew what to say.
"So few people have ever done that for me," he rushed as the rapidly shrinking space between their lips disappeared and their mouths met for the second time that night.
She had kissed him hardly ten minutes before but then it had been short and sweet, nothing like this. This kiss was full of passion, making her mind reel. She lifted on of her hands back to his hair and his skipped her shoulder and went directly to her back.
She opened her lips and his tongue entered her mouth. She pulled herself closer to him. She loved the feel of her hands on her back and she pulled her other hand to his neck.
It was a few minutes later when Hermione finally pulled her head back. Remus looked away, embarrassed.
"Sorry," he muttered.
Hermione couldn't think of a logical reason for him to be sorry. She slid her hands around his neck and pulled his head back up to hers.
All she could see were his eyes but she could feel him. One of his hands was still on her back and the other had fallen to her hip. His chest was against her and she could feel him breathing,
"Don't stop," she whispered and kissed him again. They stayed there and feel asleep in each others arms.
(Still) Hermione's POV (next day)
"What were you doing last night?"
"Not now Lily," said Hermione.
"I'm just asking a simple question," said Lily
"Maybe I'll tell you later."
"I'll get it out of you soon enough. I always do."
"Lily, I'm trying to eat!"
They were in the great hall eating breakfast. Hermione had barely been able to get out of Remus's arms before Lily came down but that hadn't prevented her from seeing the smiling Remus on the couch and Hermione's wrinkled clothes.
"If you just answer I wouldn't bug."
"You are bugging!"
"Well I'll stop it you'd just answer me."
"We weren't doing anything."
"I just want to know."
"I told you."
"No you didn't."
Hermione rolled her eyes and spilled. Lily was the most pressing person she had ever met. She supposed it was the disadvantage to hanging out with girls. Guys asked you once then let it go. Unless it involved girls.
"I'm torn between knowing that sweet, alone Remus has found someone at last and knowing that that someone is also supposed to be my son's future girlfriend. After they are both born that is."
"Damn it," Hermione swore. She had completely forgotten about Harry. With every day he disappeared a little from her mind a little more and Remus was filling the empty spaces.
"I'm not accusing you. You said it yourself; you may be stuck here forever. And may you be damned if you think I'll let my son date someone twenty years older than himself. Even if that person was his friend first. Sorry Mione, but I will not allow it." Hermione blocked out the thought that Lily wouldn't even have say about it if Hermione was stuck there. She hadn't changed anything enough to stop Lily and James from dying.
She couldn't do that anyway. Dumbledore would be furious with her if he knew she had told them but that would be nothing if she had completely changed everything. He had made her promise that she wouldn't tell but somehow she had found herself telling Lily and the boys so easily. She had felt like it was her responsibility to tell them.
But it was also the boy's responsibility to tell Lily Remus's secret. She should know, they should have trusted her. Remus should have trusted her. He knew she didn't care, so why should he worry about Lily finding fault with him? Lily was one of the kindest people Hermione had ever known, she wouldn't abandon Remus for something that wasn't even his fault.
"Have you asked Remus about his 'secret'" she asked in an attempt to get off the topic of Harry.
"No," said Lily setting down her spoon. "I was going to but then you went an dragged us down the tunnel."
"I didn't mean to," Hermione said defensively. "Let's see where you wouldn't hide after being attacked."
"I know, I wasn't blaming you."
"So are you going to ask him?" Hermione asked.
"Why can't you just tell me?" Lily whined.
"Because, it is not my secret to tell. It's his."
Remus's POV
The courtyard was fairly crowded when Remus came out for break. He had to push harder than usual to get through the hordes of people to get to his usual spot. Through the crowd he could see James, Sirius, Peter, Lily, and Hermione standing there talking. He felt his cheeks flush when he thought of Hermione. She exerted a powerful force over him, making him lose his convictions.
"Hey Moony,' said James. "What kept you?"
"Nothing,' he said. Hermione was smiling at him.
"Remus, can I have a word?" Lily asked. There was something odd in her eye, like there was some great secret to what she was going to ask.
"Sure," he said and he followed her away from the group.
"Remus, what is it everyone else knows," she said very seriously.
"What?" She didn't make sense.
"There is something they all know, James Sirius, even Hermione. They all know something about you, something I don't know."
Remus couldn't move. Someone had told her and now she just wanted him to confirm it before she betrayed him.
"Remus whatever it is I don't care," she said grabbing his hand. "You clearly don't want people to know and I can respect that, I really do. I know that you happen to be a very private person, but do not you think it would be nice if you could respect me enough to trust me. I am not going to betray your trust and tell everyone your secrets, you know I won't."
Remus opened his mouth and then closed it again. He wanted to tell her now that she had cornered him but he had difficulty getting the words out.
"Just say it Remus," she said. "I have to know."
"Lily, this may be shocking, but I'm a-a," he leaned forward and whispered as quietly as he could "I'm a werewolf."
He heard her breath hitch for a fraction of a second then she looked back at him. He couldn't exactly understand her face; there was clearly some surprise but he could read the compassion in her eyes.
"You were worried that I'd have a problem with a little think like that?" she laughed. "You honestly thought I'd care?"
"Remus opened his mouth. "Don't answer that," she said and they walked back to the others.
"So what was that all about?" asked Sirius casually.
"Nothing,' said Remus. He had a funny feeling that they all knew already.
The bell rang and they all headed back to the castle. Remus moved so he could walk behind Hermione. "Did you tell her to do that?"
"I told her that if she had to ask, that she had to ask you because it was your business to tell not mine," she said. Remus laughed but them realized that Lily still didn't know about the other three being animagus's. Well, he thought, there will definetly be some entertainment when Lily found that out. He could already imagine her face.
Hermione's POV
Hermione was smiling all the way to transfiguration. Lily was finally off her back about Remus's secret and Harry wasn't making his usual appearance in her mind every time she tried to talk to Remus. She knew that he wouldn't like what she was doing, but she convinced herself that he wouldn't mind. He really couldn't expect her to just sit around and wait to be sent back.
She sat down at her desk and got out her quill. McGonagall had told them the previous day that there was going to be some note taking. The class cam in from behind her and Lily took her usual seat beside Hermione.
"Was that so hard?" she asked.
"No," Lily admitted. "Well, if I had been expecting something like that it would have been. I thought it was just some stupid little thing. None of my guesses were even close to the truth." Lily caught James's eye and she grinned. "Did you tell them what I was doing?"
"Yeah, James couldn't figure it out and I think he would have started shouting-stuff we wouldn't want shouted if I hadn't." Wait, James, Hermione thought. And Sirius and Peter. Lily still didn't know their secrets. Something told her that she wouldn't be quite as understanding with them.
"Class,' said McGonagall. "Good morning. Today we will be starting our notes on full body transfiguration." She pointed to the board with her wand and several detailed bullets appeared there. Hermione heard James and Sirius's usual groans but notice that like herself and Lily, Remus was already writing. She smiled and returned to the notes as McGonagall read them out loud.
There was a sharp knock at the door and a frustrated McGonagall went to open it. Dumbledore stood there looking very solemn. He caught Hermione's eye.
"I'm sorry for the interruption Professor McGonagall but I was wondering if I could borrow Miss Granger." Something in his face told Hermione that it was serious. McGonagall certainly saw it. She nodded to Hermione.
Hermione stood and went to the door at McGonagall's nod. Dumbledore shut the door. "To my office" he said seriously leading the way. Hermione followed him, a mounting feeling of dread rising on her shoulders.
I said go on, I'll be just fine
I won't fall apart, or go out of my mind
I said no one could break my heart
But you're living proof
That's a lie and that's the truth
And if you find somebody
Who says they love you more than I do
That's a lie and that's the truth- George Strait
I love you all reviewers! Please keep reviewing!
catchersoftballgirl: I was wondering what happened to you. I know it's weird but the weirdness of Hermione/Remus stories is (in my opinion) what makes them fun and interesting to read. I know, when I first read one I was totally weirded out.
Wingsister: Thanks. You always find a way to praise me!
StarRegina: I knew you'd say that. When I was thinking of a password I wanted to find another bizarre candy and my mind landed on that.
amrawo: Thank you thank you thank you!
And just a couple comments about whats going on in the story
Yes Dumbledore knows she told them. He's going to talk to her about how serious it is and give her some news. Good or bad, you'll have to find out.
Yes Lily is going to find out about the marauders.
Hermione will also be starting a new project. I will put it in my disclaimer because the idea of having this came from a great Hermione/Remus writer and I'm merely borrowing it and making it my own, but the originally idea will not be claimed by me.
And I would like to apologize for the length. This one's a bit shorter than the last few but if I put anything else in the next chapter would be really, really short so there will be two slightly shorter chapters but all the other will be really long.
Until next time
Gwen Worshipper
