Harley and Ivy
Chapter 11: The One Without the Knights Who Say Ni
By
The Uncanny R-Man
Disclaimer-All familiar characters belong to DC.
Shout Outs-
Iron Jawed Angel- I'm glad you liked this, it's always a pleasure to receive new readers. Enjoy the new chapter.
The Drewfus- Why gulp? It's only Ra's Al Ghul.It's not as if he's overly scary, like the Joker or Scarecrow.
Agent-G- Yeah, it was only a matter of time until I brought in Harley's hyenas. Just think of all the comic possibilities. Heh. Plus, gratuitous nudity from Ivy, always good for a quick laugh.
Quote of the day- 'I bent my Wookie…' Ralph Wiggum (The Simpsons)
Justice League Watchtower-
Harley and Ivy were sitting in the briefing room while Superman was holding court. They were also joined by Supergirl, Big Barda and Zatanna.
'Batman asked me to hold this briefing because he is busy elsewhere.' The Man of Steel explained. 'Which is quite ironic seeing how territorial he is over his rogues.'
'Heh. Batsy doesn't like you guys poaching his baddies, huh?' Harley chuckled.
'That's why you two were assigned to this team.' Superman explained. 'It would sooth Batman's ego at the same time.'
'Wouldn't it piss him off even more?' Ivy asked. 'You know, having two former enemies taking care of this mission?'
'Some of us are far more trusting that the Dark Knight.' Superman replied. 'But just to make sure you two don't get up to anything, Supergirl, Barda and Zatanna have been assigned to join you.'
'So, who's this big bad you want us to fight?' Supergirl asked. 'Killer Croc? Scarecrow? The Penguin?'
'Ra's Al Ghul.' Superman replied simply.
Supergirl's face fell at that. Ra's Al Ghul was one of Batman's most fearsome rogues and going up against him was no laughing matter.
'Batman reported that Ra's is on the trail of the Holy Grail.' Superman continued. 'For those of you that don't know, the Holy Grail is…'
'The cup that Christ's blood fell into when his side was pierced by a spear when he was on the cross. It's supposed to grant whoever drinks from it immortality.' Harley replied, admiring her nails nonchalantly.
Everybody looked at Harley in bewilderment; they could hardly believe she just said that.
'What?' Harley asked innocently. 'I've seen Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade too.'
'I was thinking the Monty Python film myself.' Barda added.
Everybody stared at the former female Fury, hardly believing their ears. Barda wasn't well known for her sense of humour.
'So what you're saying you want us to do is get this Holy Grail before Ra's does, right?' Ivy asked. 'Why would a guy with an already abundant source of immortality want with the Grail anyway?'
'Perhaps he has an unusual taste in dinnerware.' Zatanna suggested.
The skies above Egypt, a short time later-
Ivy was piloting one of the Justice League's Javelins across the Egyptian skies. Ever since she and Harley had been granted honorary Leaguer status, Ivy had been trained in use of the League's hi-tech jet planes by several of her newfound teammates.
'How do we even know this Grail thingy is in Egypt anyway?' Supergirl asked. 'If it really is in Alexandretta, like the movie says, why hasn't somebody dug it up before now?'
'Who knows?' Zatanna replied. 'Perhaps all those task things in the film deterred everybody. Is it really worth risking your life for a gaudily-decorated goblet.'
'But in the movie, the Grail was just a plain old thing.' Supergirl said. 'Not really something you'd think once contained the blood of Christ.'
'Well I don't care whatever this Grail looks like.' Barda said. 'All I care about is the fact that we defeat Ra's Al Ghul.'
'Ever the warrior, eh B?' Harley asked, patting the statuesque warrior woman on the shoulder.
Barda just shot her with a glare, making Harley quickly move away.
'Geez, you got that Batman glare down perfectly.' Harley sniffed. 'You been taking lessons?'
Cairo-
Harley, Ivy and their Leaguer teammates were disguised as locals while they searched for a building where Ra's Al Ghul was most likely to be holed up. With a man as wealthy as he, Ra's was most probably holed up in some palatial palace somewhere. So that's where they were heading, towards the more exclusive part of Cairo, where the wealthy lived.
The team dived into an alley when they saw a muscle-bound figure who may just have been Ubu, Ra's' bodyguard.
'That's got to be Ubu.' Ivy said. 'There's no doubt about it.'
'So what do we do now, puddin'?' Harley asked. 'Rush him and steal the keys to the mansion?'
'No, we have to stay stealthy.' Ivy replied. 'Let's follow him.'
The others merely nodded and followed Ivy silently. For a former villain, Ivy sure was getting into the leading gig very well.
The team quietly followed Ubu and stopped once he entered a very large mansion.
'Now what?' Supergirl asked. 'Just charge in there, guns blazing?'
'I think I have a solution to that…' Zatanna grinned. 'Ecitsuj eugael elbisivni.'
Harley shuddered slightly as she felt a tingle run through her body.
'What did you just do?'
'Invisibility spell.' Zatanna replied. 'We're hidden form the sight from those that would wish us harm.'
'Right on.' Harley grinned, giving her teammate two thumbs up. 'Now let's go kick some immortal butt!'
Inside the mansion-
With Zatanna's invisibility spell masking their presence, the team was able to sneak into the mansion undetected.
Ivy was in the lead as the Leaguers searched the mansion for the Grail's whereabouts.
'My Spider-Sense is tingling.' Harley whispered. 'Something doesn't feel right. Something's gonna go wrong, I just know it.'
'Oh great, now you've gone and jinxed it.' Supergirl muttered. 'Something is definitely going to go wrong now that you've said that.'
'I never took you for the superstitious type, Kara.' Zatanna added. 'Or is it that you've been watching too much TV?'
'It's not that.' Supergirl replied. 'It's just that in my experience, something always goes wrong when somebody says that everything's going too smoothly.'
'There's nothing to be afraid of.' Barda added. 'The spell is keeping us hidden so we will be out of here soon enough.'
'I wouldn't be so sure of that.' A voice said form behind them.
The Leaguers spun around to see Ra's Al Ghul standing their flanked by a veritable army of guards.
'Did you seriously think I did not have any preparations for you arrival?' Ra's asked. 'You five are certainly not the Detective.'
'Yeah, we're way more attractive to start off.' Harley replied.
'What do you want with the Grail anyway, Ra's?' Ivy asked. 'You're already immortal. You haven't got any need for the Grail.'
'That may be true.' Ra's nodded. 'But you may know that I am also an admirer of fine antiquities. The Sword Excalibur, the Ark of the Covenant, I live to own them all.'
'So you just like collecting tat then.' Supergirl said with a roll of her eyes. 'Big revelation.'
'You however are no use to me.' Ra's sniffed as he turned to his guards. 'Dispose of them.'
The guards obeyed as they advanced on the heroes, swords bared.
'Do these guys really think they have any chance against us?' Harley snorted. 'They bring swords to a super power fight, how lame is that?'
'Just shut up and hit them.' Ivy replied. 'Hit them a lot.'
'Now this is my kind of mission.' Barda grinned as she piled into the guards.
'I told you something would go wrong.' Supergirl said as she threw a guard across the room. 'What did I tell you?'
'Okay, you were right.' Zatanna sighed as she kicked a guard in the face. 'My spell wasn't perfect.'
Elsewhere-
Ra's Al Ghul was making his getaway with the Holy Grail in his hand. He could live with the inevitable destruction of his mansion but losing the Grail just wouldn't do. He was about to board his private helicopter when the unconscious body of Ubu, his personal bodyguard, came crashing through the roof below him. Then the Leaguers came flooding out.
'Nuh-uh, not so fast Ra's.' Harley said. 'We can't let you get away with the Grail.'
Ra's just ignored her and leapt into his helicopter as it took off.
'I've got it!' Supergirl said as she flew up after the helicopter. Unfortunately, the helicopter was heavily armed and opened fire on the young superhero. Supergirl merely shrugged the gunfire off and flew after the helicopter.
Supergirl grabbed onto the helicopter and punched a hole in the side.
'Heeeeere's Kara!' She said as she poked her head inside. Much to her amazement, everybody had somehow disappeared. All that was left were the grail and a ticking bomb.
Supergirl zipped away, barely in time to avoid the explosion.
Harley and the others came running as they saw the helicopter explode and Supergirl fall to the ground.
'Kara!' Zatanna yelled. 'Are you okay?'
'Never felt better.' A singed Supergirl wheezed. 'Ra's got away. He must have teleported away just before the helicopter exploded.'
'What about the Grail?' Ivy asked.
'Grabbed it just in time.' Supergirl replied as she held up said relic. 'Yet another piece of tat to go in the trophy room.'
'Well this has been an eventful mission.' Barda sniffed.
'Yeah.' Harley replied. 'The next time Batsy wants us to take care of one of his rogues, he can do it his damn self.'
TBC…
Next: The One Where Everything Ends
Exactly what it says on the tin, everything comes to a close. Finito. Kaput. C'est finit. The last chapter.
