Harley and Ivy

Chapter 12: The One Where Everything Ends

By

The Uncanny R-Man

Disclaimer- All familiar characters belong to DC.


Shout Outs-

Firestorm13- Yup, this is indeed the last chapter. Sorry, I just thought that the story had reached a point where it would be bets to end it instead of carrying it on with more half-assed ideas.

The Drewfus- That was a good explanation why Ra's wanted the Grail. I don't know why I didn't think of it. Thanks.

Agent-G- Yes, tat is indeed a British slang term. It means an item of useless rubbish.

Daryl- I'm glad you liked this. I'll be sorry to see this story go too. I had a lot of good times writing it. You never know, I might even come up with a sequel some time in the future.


Author's notes- Seeing that this story is coming to a close, I'd like to thank every one of you for taking your time to read and review. I know my grammar is somewhat… crappy but you still read on regardless. I wish to thank everybody for such kind words in their reviews. Thank you.


Quote of the day- 'Th-th-th-th-that's all folks! - Porky Pig


Justice League Watchtower-

It was quite a sombre mood in the Justice League Watchtower as two of the team's members were retiring. Harley and Ivy had grown tired of the hero business and had decided to retire. Their mansion was due to be finished getting rebuilt any time soon anyway.

'We'll all be sad to see you leave.' Supergirl said as she gave Harley a hug. 'You guys made every mission special.'

'Thanks, Kara.' Harley smiled. 'Feel free to visit us at Chez Quinn anytime you want.'

'I'll take you up on that.' Kara nodded. 'That's if I'm not too busy saving the world and junk.'

Next to Harley, Ivy was talking to Barda.

'I do not wish to impose.' Barda said.

'Impose nothing.' Ivy replied. 'If you and Scott need a little romantic getaway, Harley and I would be perfectly happy to lend you our Florida beach house. Just watch out for swamp things living in the bayous, okay?'

'I thought Swamp Thing lived in Louisiana.' Harley butted in.

'You don't really believe in that old urban legend, do you?' Ivy asked.

'Don't you?' Harley replied. 'A real living plant elemental. Ain't that your kind of thing?'

'It's just an urban myth cooked up by the Louisiana tourist board to get more tourists.' Ivy sighed.

'I never figured you for the cynical type, Red.' Harley snickered.

Ivy just shrugged in reply and looked up as she saw Zatanna walk over to them.

'Hey Zee, what's up?' Ivy asked.

'I just wanted to give you a housewarming gift.' Zatanna replied as she took off her top hat and waved a hand over it. 'Tibbar raeppa.'

Ivy watched in curiosity as Zatanna pulled a rabbit out of her hat.

'Aww, that's so cute! Thanks!' Ivy grinned happily. 'Isn't it, Harley? Harley…?'

Ivy looked over at her partner.

'Harley, are you okay?'

'I-I'm fine.' Harley replied, not even catching her partner's eye. 'I-it's just…'

'You're scared of rabbits, aren't you?' Ivy asked, slightly amused at the thought.

'No…' Harley lied.

Ivy held up the rabbit and pointed it at Harley.

Harley let out a squeak and jumped away.

'Gah! Get it away!' Harley shrieked.

Ivy handed the rabbit back to Zatanna.

'The thought's a wonderful one, but I'm afraid that we can't accept.' Ivy explained apologetically. 'I'm not sure that the rabbit will get on very well with the hyenas.'

'Fair enough.' Zatanna nodded as she placed the rabbit back in her hat wand waved her hand. 'Tibbar raeppasid.'

Zatanna placed her top hat back on her head.

'I guess I could always buy you guys a nice pot plant or some expensive champagne.' She said.

'Champagne's good, thanks.' Ivy nodded.

Zatanna waved her hands over a nearby table.

'Nongigrep Mod.'

Ivy's eyes lit up as a magnum of Dom Perignon appeared on the table.'

'Oh, now that's more like it.' She grinned, 'Dom Perignon will do nicely. Thank you very much.'

Ivy placed a friendly kiss on Zatanna's cheek, eliciting a blush from the magician.

'Whoa.' Zatanna blinked, trying desperately to hide her embarrassment. 'I've never been kissed by another woman before. Well, there was that time in college…'

'It was just a friendly thank you kiss, Zee.' Ivy replied.

'I knew that…' Zatanna replied, her eyes darting about nervously. 'I-I have to go now… Good luck with your… house.'

'Looks like you got a new addition to your harem, puddin'.' Harley giggled. 'Mind if I share?'

'I'm calling her.' Ivy replied as she stuck her tongue immaturely. 'So there.'

'I've got first dibs on Kara then.' Harley said with a big grin.

'Harley!' Ivy hissed. 'She's barely eighteen!'

'Okay, what about… Wonder Woman?' Harley asked.

'You just want to use her golden lasso again.' Ivy sniffed.

'And what if I do?' Harley asked coyly.

Ivy tried to come up with an answer but couldn't think of anything.

The pair was so immersed in their conversation that they didn't even see a shadowed figure walk up beside them.

'Harley, Ivy…'

Harley and Ivy both let out identical yelps of surprise as they almost jumped out of their skins.

'Gah! Batman!' Harley panted as she put her hand on her chest. 'You almost gave me a heart attack! What do you want anyway?'

'I wanted to wish you luck for your retirement.' Batman said, as stoic as ever.

'Really?' Harley asked sceptically.

'Yes, really.' Batman replied.

'Really, really?' Harley asked.

'Really, really.' Batman nodded.

Harley let out a squeal and grabbed Batman in a huge hug.

'Oh Brucie, you are sooo cute!'

A hush fell over the other Justice Leaguers stopped what they were doing and looked at the pair.

'Uh-oh.' Blue Beetle winced. 'She hugging him.'

'I say we run.' Green Arrow replied. 'Fast.'

'Neptune's beard!' Aquaman paled. 'He'll blow his top for sure!'

'Betcha twenty bucks somebody ends up thrown through a buffet table.' Elongated Man snickered.

'Betcha twenty-five.' Hawkgirl countered.

'I like cookies.' J'onn J'onzz added.

'Harley… you're hugging me.' Batman said simply.

Harley leapt back and held her arms up in defence.

'Not the face! Anything but the face! I'm too pretty to die…'

'Harley, I think it's time we got you to bed.' Ivy whispered.

'Are you trying to seduce me, Ms. Isley?' Harley smirked.

'No, you're drunk.' Ivy replied. 'I want to get you home before you make an even bigger ass of yourself.'

'You're my best friend…' Harley slurred drunkenly as she leant on Ivy's shoulder. 'I love you…'

'I love you too, Harl.' Ivy replied as she helped her partner towards the teleporters.


Chez Quinn, several months later-

It was nearing Christmas time in Gotham City as Harley and Ivy snuggled in front of a roaring log fire. Bud and Lou, Harley's two hyenas, were snoring peacefully at their mistress' feet.

Harley and Ivy had been surviving comfortably on the cash that Harley had earned with her short-lived art career. Even though Harley's art career was short, it earned her a bundle of cash. Which kind of helped with rebuilding their mansion after the Joker blew it up.

Harley sighed happily as she lay her head on Ivy's shoulder.

'What do you want for Christmas, Red?' Harley asked, gazing up at her partner.

'I don't want anything but you, Harl.' Ivy replied, gazing lovingly back at her.

'Aww c'mon.' Harley pouted. 'You must want something nice for Christmas. How about some nice new plants? We still have enough cash left over from my art tour to buy you a rare plant or somethin' from Gotham Botanical Gardens.'

'There is one thing…' Ivy said as she got a faraway look on her face.

'What is it, puddin'?' Harley asked as she sat up and looked Ivy straight in the eye.

Ivy's faraway look turned to a cheeky smile.

'Remember that conversation we had a while back about Zatanna?' Ivy asked.

'What? You hittin' on her?' Harley replied. 'What of it?'

'I was thinking we could invite her and Kara over for a girls' night in…'

An evil smile spread on Harley's face to match Ivy's.

'Good idea, puddin'.' She chuckled. 'I'll get the chocolate sauce an' whipped cream…'

END…


Okay, that's it I'm afraid. This story has finished. I hope you all enjoyed reading it as much as I did writing it. If I find the time and inspiration I might even write a sequel. Thank you all very much for reading and reviewing. See you in the funny pages!