Maybe Now: Chapter Five: It'll Be Okay
Disclaimer is the same. Nothing has changed. Sadly, neither Lauren nor Scott has showed up at my door, or Amy. So I still don't own it nor do I have anything to do with the show other than loyal watcher and admirer. Now on with the talk...
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Lorelai finished her shower, wrapped herself in a towel and headed upstairs to change. Luke was sitting on her bad lacing up his boots. As Lorelai entered the room Luke looked up.
'I'll just go downstairs and let you change, I'll meet you downstairs in a few, okay?'
'Okay.'
Luke crossed the room and kissed her cheek. He saw the fear come back into her eyes.
'It'll be okay.'
She felt little comfort from this but smiled slightly and watched him leave. As she heard his footsteps on the stairs, she began to find her clothes. She settled on a baby blue tank top with a navy blue hoodie with a pair of comfortable jeans and some striped blue socks. She then went into her bathroom and began to apply the little makeup she felt she needed and some fruity lip gloss. She almost didn't notice the note Luke has left her.
There on the mirror in blue vis-a-vis marker was the words 'I'm all in. Just remember that.' She and Rory had always left little notes for each other, ever since Rory was old enough to write. Now Luke was leaving her one too. Her eyes teared up. This was one message she wasn't going to erase. She wiped her eyes, reapplying makeup where needed and then padded downstairs.
Luke was sitting on the could with his hat in his hands, patiently waiting for her. When she reached the last step it creaked causing Luke to looked up at her. They both smiled and she headed to the couch. Sitting on the opposite side of him. She sat cross legged and faced him. He then turned and put one leg underneath him and faced her. She spoke first.
'Thanks for the note.'
'I meant it.'
'I know.'
'I mean whatever happens here. I'm still all in.'
'Good to know.'
'But we need to get things out. I know I do. I have things that I haven't said and you said you last night you had more to say. But even still, I'm all in.'
'So, it's like starting over with a clean slate.'
'In a way, yes. But not starting over per say, more like not letting what's already happened affect us.'
'Okay.'
'I...'
'I...'
They both started at the same time.
'Well that was comedic.'
'Yea.'
'You go first.'
'Alright. Lorelai, over the past few months I have been happier than I have ever been. And I hope you feel the same way.'
Lorelai just nodded.
'But these last few days have sucked. I hate fighting with you and not seeing you. I hated seeing Chris at there at your parents vow renewal and I couldn't stand that you had lied to me about seeing him. That practically killed me, knowing that you were keeping things from me. And then to top it off you mother and father are against this relationship too. It just turned out too be too much for me to fathom.'
He took a breath. Watched Lorelai process the information and then continued.
'And then you came into Doose's practically begging me to comfort you and to talk to you. I couldn't process fast enough, I needed time and you needed answers. And then you asked what I was thinkingI had been thinking so many different things but at the moment I just couldn't deal and I told you it was too much and that I couldn't be in the relationship anymore. I was so angry, hurt, confused and emotionally drained. And you suffered because of it. I hated myself for that. Then you called me that night and I saw a glimmer of hope and I rushed over and broke your backdoor which I still need to fix and then you showed up talking about how you weren't "that girl" and calling me your "ex-boyfriend" and I saw it all slip away again. You handed me that tape. It felt over, like you wanted it over. Telling me it was the last crazy thing you'd do. And I wanted to say something I wanted to take you in my arms and tell you I was wrong before and that I should have never told you that it was too much. That I didn't want to break up, but I couldn't. And then you walked away from me. i went home and listened to that tape, over and over. I was in my apartment when I remembered the boat lying in your garage. I didn't think you'd want it there in the morning reminding you of me so I went back that night and took it out. Though not thinking it all the way through I really didn't have another place and that is why it was parked outside the diner. It wasn't meant to be a "billboard of our breakup" or anything. I just didn't think...
He took another breath thankful that she was letting him get everything out. She sat there intently waiting and filing away her own words that she wanted to say. He began again.
'And then Lulu and Bradley came in telling me about the play that you signed us up for. I immediately told Lulu that I would help once I heard that you were working on costumes. I thought that I would at least get to see you if not talk to you. Not once have I wanted to see you more and then you weren't there. And I showed up at your house yelling about "suppose to be" without really explaining I just wanted you nearby. Instead I started a fight. That wasn't my intention. Then you walked out of you newly appointed "alone space" and away from me. I didn't know how to apologize. I didn't plan out anything to say and all we did was fight. Then during the play I wanted to talk to you, but sets, costumes and crazy carrie were in the way. I even started throwing people out of my diner, I'll be surprised if I have any customers. I sabotaged my own business I was so unhappy and frustrated. And then if things weren't bad enough, your mother showed up in my diner.'
Luke had been staring as his hat in his hands until he said his last words at which point he looked up to see Lorelai's reaction. She made a slight gasp but said nothing still waiting for him to finish, he reached out to hold her hands and she obliged.
'Yes. Your mother showed up. She said things like you had chose me and I won and she won't meddle anymore.'
Lorelai snorted. Luke glared at her.
'Sorry, continue.'
'So she finally left and I came over here. And you know what happened then.'
'You came over here because of my mother?'
Lorelai dropped Luke's hands.
'No, Lorelai, its not what you think. Yes, I came over here after she left my diner. But it was not because of her. I came over here because I had, had enough. I wanted to see you. I had only planned on coming over here and talking to you, but then I saw you and my emotions took over. She told me she wouldn't meddle anymore and I wanted to tell you what she said, and then of course I had my own things to say. I wanted to see if you would take me back. I screwed up Lorelai, and I needed to know if you forgave me. And that, and only that is the reason I showed up at your door lastnight. Not because of your mother, because of me and you...and us.'
Lorelai picked Luke's hand back up. Looking into his eyes.
'Well that was a lot. i don't think I have ever heard you talk that muchever.'
'Yea. well.'
'Yea.'
Lorelai smiled.
'I guess its your turn.'
'It seems so. Well to start off I hate that I lied to you. I didn't mean to...it didn't seem that important. Whereas you see it Christopher as a threat I see him as a friend and Rory's father, nothing more. I don't think of him as anything. Just a friend. I now realize that I should have told you. I want to tell you everything and I will from now on. I didn't tell Christopher to show up at my parents vow renewal, I didn't want him there. I wanted you there, and I was glad you where there. I hate that he made you feel uncomfortable and doubt your relationship with me. I loved that you tried to beat up Logan for messing with Rory, I loved that you tried to be the father figure there. I wanted to chase after you, but Marilyn shanghi'd me for pictures and by the time I could get away you where long gone. I know I pushed you and I'm sorry about that. Sookie had told me about this couple who had broken up and led different lives and then 40 years later they found each other again, and she scared me, I didn't want us to end up like that I waned a middle. i wanted you. So I followed you into Doose's and tried to get you to talk to me. I have hated this time apart. I wanted to talk to you but it became harder and harder everytime I put it off. I physically hurt when I went by the diner and saw you. It hurt when you came over and we fought. It was like we couldn't talk to each other anymore. I had lost my bestfriend and my boyfriend at the same time. I haven't talked to my mother since. I hate her meddling. I hate her. She just can't be happy for me. She just couldn't leave well enough alone. I'm surprised she even showed up at the diner, but I'm sure in the end it was for her own selfish reasons, she's hoping to get me back for Friday night dinners, but that's not gonna happen. Hell will freeze before I step foot in that house again. I gave her so many chances, and now I am done. But in a way I am glad she went to your diner, she got you here, it got us here.'
She squeezed his hands and smiled at him.
'So we okay?'
'I just have one question.'
'Alright?'
'Can you promise me you'll tell me the truth, no matter what, from now on?'
'Yes. Luke. I will.'
'And I promise I will always tell you the truth, and when we talk i will try to understand before over reacting.'
'Okay. So we are good now.'
'No. We're perfect.'
Lorelai got up from her position and sat in Luke's lap.
'Now this is where I belong.'
'Nah, I think you belong here.'
He moved her off his lap and sat her down beside him.
'Hey now. Why did you move me?'
'Cause with you sitting in my lap I didn't have the option to do this.'
He then leaned over and kissed her lips.
'Oh Mr. Danes, I believe this is where I belong.'
Lorelai then stood up and grabbed both of Luke's hands pulling him up off the couch and kissing him with the force he had used the night before.
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