Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter

Note: Except for a few small parts, this whole chapter is in Hermione's POV.

Second note: There is a huge skip later on, after she's gone back to her time.

Chapter Nine

Everything in Time

There is a mystery here

Too big for me alone

And I can't try to start

The smell of death is too new here

What is being hidden now?

What am I supposed to know?

Can anyone answer my questions?

Is anyone even there?- from Over and Over

Hermione's POV (Saturday night)

My Dearest Remus,

By the time you read this, I will have left. I'm sorry I lied, but Dumbledore and I agreed that this way was best. I can only hope you can understand that.

These past months have been amazing, better than I ever thought life could ever be. You have made my life so wonderful, it's beyond words. I can't truly live with myself, knowing what I am about to do, but I can ask you one thing.

Please Remus, wait for me. When I get back, two seconds will have passed for me, but twenty years will have for you. I can only ask that you will be there, waiting for me. I cannot really ask this, but if you could be there, and not have given up on us, I will be eternally grateful. I love you Remus and that would mean the world to me.

I'm sorry I have to leave you, but it's something I have no control over. If I could I would stay, but I can't.

Love,

Hermione Jane Granger (Hopefully, someday "Lupin")

Hermione read the letter over and over, hoping her words wouldn't hurt him. He knew she had to leave and so did she, but it did nothing to ease her pain, or the pain she knew it would cause him. She had no choice.

She picked up the parchment and put it in the envelope before standing up and walking up the stairs and into the boy's dormitories.

They were all asleep. Peter, whose bed was closest to the door, was snoring. Hermione etched it into her memory. The next time she ever saw him she would have to hate him. He was a traitor in her time. Tears spread again to her eyes when her eyes flicked over Sirius and James. She would never see them or Lily again. She wanted to stop that, everything that had happened, but she couldn't. Time Enchantress or not, she couldn't.

Her eyes now fell on Remus. He was sleeping so fitfully and a tear fell down her cheek knowing she had caused this. She knew what would happen to him. How different would he look to her? Before she came here, Professor Lupin had always looked tired and weary; would it be worse once she knew why?

She walked next to him and sat on his bed, placing the letter on his bedside table. She ran her hand through his hair, loving the way it felt between her fingers. She leaned forward and kissed him. Even though he was asleep, she got the sense that he was kissing her back. She let loose her passion, never wanting to loose this feeling, and hoping that in turn, he would remember it.

She pulled herself away and went to the center on the room. She had to go. She raised her hand and traced a circle in midair. A kind of blue fire hung in the air where her hand had been.

"Tempus," she whispered, and inside the circle a blue light opened the portal.

"Hermione!"

She whirled around. Remus was standing next to his bed, staring at her.

"Go back to bed!" she cried. How could he wake up now?

"What are you doing?" he asked looking horrified.

"Go back to bed," she repeated helplessly.

He ran towards her and tried to pull her back. "Don't go," he begged.

"I have to."

"No you don't. You can stay here. You can't leave me," he said angrily, still holding onto her.

"Remus I can't," she said, her eyes pleading him to let him go.

"Then take me with you."

"I can't do that either."

He was pleading with her, pleading for her to stay, but he seemed to be able to tell he couldn't win. So he did the last thing he could think of.

He kissed her.

She fell into his embrace, forgetting her plan and the open portal behind her. She was wrapped up in his presence. His hands fell to their favorite place in her back, causing her to forget everything. His being there was controlling her.

Everything else seemed to have stopped. Everything besides them had frozen in place. Time had stopped.

It clicked in her mind. Time. And everything came back to her. Her plan, Harry, Ron, it all came back. She pulled her head back and opened her eyes. Remus's icy blue ones looked back at her.

"I'm sorry,' she whispered. "I have to go."

"I know," he said, still not letting go of her. "I just don't want you to leave."

"Neither do I, but I have to."

"I will see you again right?"

"You will," she said, leaning her head forward onto his chest. "I won't be gone forever."

"Promise?"

"Promise. Can you promise me something?"

"Anything?"

"Promise me that you won't give up. Promise you'll wait for me."

"Done."

She kissed him again, savoring his taste in her mouth. It would be a few seconds for her, but half a lifetime for him and she hated it.

"I'll be waiting,' he whispered against her mouth. "I love you."

"I love you too," she said and pulled away from him, placing one foot in the still opened portal. A few blue sparks flew out of it.

"1997," she said, unleashing her power into the portal She felt her leg slip though time and let go of Remus's hand.

She watched his face until she couldn't see it any more. A tear fell down her cheek, but she brushed it away; she would be back soon. And maybe those twenty years would go by fast for him.

But then they might not.

Remus's POV (1977, the next day)

The ice on the lake was melting. He watched it from the shore, where he was sitting. Little chunks of ice disappeared into the depths of the lake and malted or vanished forever.

The ice reminded him of that moment of his heart. It was frozen too. Frozen, but with something strong and powerful beneath the ice. The only difference was his heart would melt when he saw Hermione again. The lake just melted when it got warm.

He had been here all day. As soon as the sun came up he had come out. He didn't want to answer any questions. The others would want to be saying goodbye to Hermione, and she had already left.

She was gone. He had known that the pain would be unbearable, knew that it would be beyond anything he had ever felt before, but that didn't stop it from hurting. The true shock of it had been worse than he thought. It was excruciating.

He leaned back on the wet snow, knowing that it was going to be a long, hard twenty years.

He better get started.

Hermione's POV (1997)

She slammed hard on the floor of the entrance hall. For a few seconds she was completely dazed, shaken by the force of the fall. She shook her head and looked up.

Harry and Professor Verne were standing on the other end on the entrance hall, staring at something that looked like a lump wearing robes. Ron was standing off to the side.

"Harry,' she gasped. He whirled around.

"Hermione!" he cried and ran over to her. He pulled her up off the floor and into his arms. Hermione held on tightly, not just because she was glad to see him but for her balance; she couldn't stand.

"What, what happened?" she gasped. Her entire body was sore again.

"I dunno,' said Harry. "You disappeared for a few minutes and Malfoy died, and then you came back."

"Malfoy's dead," she repeated, horrorstruck.

"Yes, after you hit him with the Reductor curse."

"I killed Malfoy!"

"Don't think about it like that, it was self defense."

"I still killed him!"

"Hermione, don't think about that. You're okay, aren't you?"

"Yes," she said. What a greeting.

"Come on, let's go back to the common room. Can you walk?"

Hermione stood for a moment then wobbled and crashed into Harry. He picked her up before she hit the floor. "Woa, come on, let's go," he said, placing her arm around him. She stumbled as she walked. Ron came up behind her and supported her other side.

As soon as they were out of the entrance hall, Harry spoke "What happened?"

"What?" she said, still dazed.

"You disappeared for a few minutes. It was just a flash or something but you weren't there. And then Malfoy died, saying you did it then, the next thing we know, you're back on the ground."

Hermione didn't know whether her inability to stand came from the fall or the shock of Malfoy. It hadn't been the greeting she had expected.

"Hermione?"

"I dunno, I guess it was something to do with the spell, some sort of sick joke."

"Yeah, but weird huh," said Ron. "It's a pretty decent bit of magic, but the effects could have been much worse huh? If he'd been fine and you hadn't blasted him?"

Hermione didn't say anything. She had killed someone, killed Malfoy. He may have been a pig and a prat but he didn't deserve to die. He had unknowingly given her a miraculous gift. He had triggered her powers and sent her back in time, he had sent her to Remus.

"Remus,' she whispered, too quietly for the others to hear. She suddenly realized that she had lied without meaning to. Remus wasn't here.

Her legs weakened again and she fell to the floor. Harry and Ron grabbed her tightly. "It's okay, baby, I got you," said Harry and Hermione would have shuddered if her body had allowed it. The thought of anyone but Remus calling her "baby" was more than she could bear.

They carried her to the common room and stopped as they reached the girls dormitory. Hermione wanted to know why they weren't bringing her up, but then she remembered that boys weren't allowed in the girl's rooms. She stood on her own and grabbed the railing. "I'll be fine,' she gasped, batting her head in effort. "I just need to lie down." She dragged herself up the stairs, with only the railing to support her. Sweat broke out on her forehead as she pulled with as much forces as she could muster.

When she reached the door she flung it open. No one else was in the room so she crawled to her bed. She was so drained of energy; she couldn't do anything on her own. The news that she had killed Malfoy, and the realization that even though she was back she had to wait for Remus combined with the power of the time portal had left her weakened, sucked all feeling out of her.

She crawled onto the bed and was able to relax, to let her tensed muscles calm and her brain to unwind. She closed her eyes and began to drift in and out of a nightmare streaked sleep.

Remus haunted her half sleep, weaving in before turning into Harry who smiled evilly at her. She tried to cry out for help but Harry covered his hand with her mouth. She tried to push him away but she couldn't move. Someone else was holding her, keeping her from getting away.

"Hermione!'

Hermione opened her eyes. She was gasping for breath and Ginny was holding her hand. It was a few minutes before Hermione realized that she must have shot it upward, when she had tried to keep Harry away. Cold sweat ran down her face.

"Hermione are you okay?" Ginny asked, letting go of Hermione's hand.

"Yeah," she said. "It was just a nightmare."

"You sure, you were screaming?"

"Yeah, I'm fine."

Ginny smiled, clearly only to reassure herself. Hermione pretended to be comforted by it. "So, see you later?" said Ginny, still making up for her own shock.

"Yeah, I'm just tired, I had an accident earlier."

"Ron and Harry told me. See you." And Ginny walked out the door.

Hermione laid back against the pillows. She tired to draw comfort form the familiar room, but she wanted the room she'd been in for three months. The one she'd shared with Lily, the one she'd cried in before. She wanted to be back in 1977, back with Remus and the others.

She suddenly realized that Lily, James, and Sirius were gone. Peter was a traitor. She had known that it would hurt, but what she felt now was beyond anything she could have expected. They were gone, she had let it happen.

She sobbed into the pillow. It was too much to think about at one time. She needed to get out of the castle but she couldn't manage it while she couldn't walk. She got off the bed and dragged herself to the window. She pulled the glass open and let the cold breeze blow across her face. She closed her eyes, remembering the cold winded nights that she had shared with Remus.

He was the only thing to keep her going. She was going to have to wait months to see him again, but the thought of seeing him again was going to maintain her strength.

She opened her eyes and they immediately filled with tears. A full moon was rising over the tree tops. It was another cut at her heart to know he had to spend it alone even though she was there.

She staggered back to her bed and crawled under the covers. She had to remain strong, if not for herself, then for Remus.

The Next Day

Breakfast the next day was nothing to what Hermione had become used to. Harry and Ron were looking grumpy. The others had always been so lively, not dying in their porridge.

Hermione felt the same as them, but the lack of enjoyment made her mood worse. Yes she felt better than she had the previous night, but the thought of no Remus was killing her along with the fact that this would be her life for the next few months.

As she stood up to go back to the common room, she felt a tap on her shoulder. Dumbledore stood behind her. Finally pleased to see a reminder of her life in the past, she smiled. "Yes Professor?"

Dumbledore smiled back at her. "If you could just come up to my office for a few minutes, I'd like a word with you, Miss Lupin," he whispered with a twinkle in his eyes.

She followed Dumbledore and within a few short minutes they were both seated on either sides of the now very familiar desk in the headmaster's office. "So, I trust everything has been alright since your return?"

"Yes, I was a little shaken from the landing, but it was fine."

"I'm sure that you are anxious to see Remus?"

"yes,' she said, a little too eagerly and sitting forward in her chair. "yes, I would sir," she said in apology.

Dumbledore chuckled. "I realize that you're excited, but Remus is currently on a mission for the Order. He will not be back for a while." Hermione felt the bubble of hope that had swelled in her chest pop at this news. "I'm sorry to say I can't tell you the address at which he may be contacted, but you can give the letters to me. The last I saw him, he was looking forward to your return."

Hermione smiled, knowing that he was waiting. Her life had taken a pleasant turn with this news of Remus."

Christmas Holidays, on the night bus.

Only a few more until her stop, Hermione thought thankfully. The Night Bus jostled and bumped along the road. She was heading to Grimmauld place, and Remus.

She had decided to go home to her parents for the Christmas holidays, but the members of the order had though it best if she went back to Hogwarts with Harry and the others. She had agreed immediately, not that she had even listened to it; she just knew that Remus would be there, and she hadn't seen him in months.

The bus slammed to a stop and Stan Shunpike's voice called over the heads of people "Diagon Alley." Several passengers shoved to the front. Stan came to her seat. "You're the next stop after this Miss. Be'er 'ave yer bags set."

Hermione nodded, excitement swelling in her chest. She was going to see Remus, just a few more minutes.

The past three months had been horrible for her. She had cried herself dry over him, not being able to see him. She felt that she could had died from the pain. She hadn't been able to confide in anyone either. She couldn't tell Harry or anyone what had happened; it had been locked up inside her, threatening to escape everyday.

She bus skidded to a halt and Number twelve Grimmauld place materialized in front of her, only seen by her. She grabbed her bags and walked as fast as she could to the front of the bus, just as eager to get off as the other passengers, but for different reasons.

"See ya missy," Stan called and the bus disappeared.

She walked up to the door and through it open as fast as she could. The hallway was different from when she had last been there. It looked as though the accumulated dust of years had finally been scrubbed away.

"Hermione!"

"Mrs. Weasly," she said, smiling and putting down her bags so that Ron's mum could hug her.

"Hello dear," said Mrs. Weasly, hugging and looking at her. "You look tired Hermione. Are you tired?"

"It's just the night bus," said Hermione casually. She just wanted to see Remus. Mrs. Weasly gave a knowing nod.

"Well, you can take your bags right up to your room. It's almost time for dinner so be quick."

"Of course," she said and ran upstairs.

When she went back down to dinner everyone else was already in the kitchen. Everyone, she noticed with a sinking heart, but Remus.

She helped Ginny bring over a large chicken to the table, keeping her eyes alert for Remus. She had been told that he was going to be here and couldn't understand why he wasn't.

Just as they sat down Remus slipped into the kitchen. Hastily apologizing to Mrs. Weasly, he sat next to Mad Eye Moody, on the other side of the table from Hermione. He didn't even look at her. It was as if she didn't exist.

Hermione waited for him to finish before standing up herself. He disappeared into the hall, unseen by her. She tried to follow, but it was like trying to catch air, he couldn't be seen.

It was clear to her that something was wrong, and she was determined to find out what.

The Next Morning.

Breakfast was a perfect opportunity to watch Remus, to try to find a clue as to what could possibly be wrong. Or it would have been if Remus had been there.

She casually asked Mrs. Weasly whether she knew where he was, but she only replied "Oh, I don't know, he's not here much anymore. No one ever knows what he's up too,"

That wasn't a good enough answer for Hermione so later she looked though the house, perhaps he was hiding upstairs, trying to avoid her. He wasn't to be found. His room was silent and neat, as if he hadn't been in it at all.

That night. (Full moon)

She was officially frustrated. She wanted to know why he hadn't said anything to her, or even looked at her. He must know that she was back, so why was he acting as though she didn't exist.

She stood up and tip toed to the door. Full moon or not, she could still see him. She was his fiancée for God's sake.

The old house looked even gloomier at this hour. Moonlight spilled through the windows, casting eerie shadows on the walls, but Hermione paid no attention. She wanted to get to him. He was everything on her mind.

His room was still silent. He'd obviously taken potion. Good, she though, I can't open the door as a wolf. She grasped the doorknob and turned. She entered swiftly and silently and shut the door as quick as she could.

He was curled in a corner, asleep. She transformed and crawled next to him. His body felt warm and comfortable. It was the first time since her return that she felt truly comfortable in her mind.

She felt him stir beside her and lay his head on her paw. She smiled. He used to do that. Even in his sleep he was able to sense her presence like he always had, even after twenty years. She moved her head next to his and drifted off into sleep.

The next thing she knew she was laying on the floor of his room and he was pacing above her.

She smiled again and rolled onto her back, starching and yawning. He didn't seem to notice she was awake, he just continued pacing.

She stood up and placed a hand on his shoulder. He stopped walking.

"Hermione," he said and even she couldn't hide her surprise. His voice sounded hollow, carrying the pain he felt with it.

"Yes?" she said. She wasn't sure if he was trying to tell her something, but something made her ask.

He turned to her and she finally understood the look that had always been in Professor Lupin's eyes. They were empty right now and all of the shine that had once been in them was lost.

"I lied," he said in an odd honest voice.

"What?" she asked confused. What did he have to lie about.

"I broke a promise," he said in that horribly honest voice.

She couldn't speak. He'd given up? He'd forgotten about them? He swore he wouldn't. It had been the last thing he said to her before she left.

"Why?" it was all she could muster.

"Hermione, it would have been one thing to live through twenty years of joy and happiness, but it's been twenty years of nothing but loss and sorrow. It's too different."

"You gave up because of that?"

"You haven't been here. There's nothing left. You haven't lived these days and lost everything. Too much has happened, and-and you deserve better."

Hermione felt sick. He was pushing her away.

"We can get past that," she said, wishing she could make it true. He shook his head. "Why not?" she demanded.

"It's been too long. Maybe not for you, but you left twenty years ago. Too long ago to remember."

"Don't please," she pleaded, exactly for what, she both knew and didn't know at the same time.

"I'm sorry, but we can't."

Tears streamed from her eyes, each one pleading just as much as she. How could he do this to her? Just forget about her?

He wiped one of her tears away. She looked at him, begging with her eyes.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "But we can't."

"Remus, please. Don't give up."

"Hermione we-" but she cut him off by playing his card.

She kissed him.

All the passion she had let loose on her last night with him in the past, came flooding through her, as if she wanted it to spread to him. She didn't care that he was older, she just wanted her Remus back. Could this call the Remus she loved back into her arms?

But he didn't.

"Hermione I can't,' he said pushing her away. She grabbed the bedstead for support.

"Remus I love you," she sobbed.

"We can't. It's not right."

"When did what is right stop anyone? When did it stop you?"

"I won't do that to you. I won't complicate anything for you."

"Why can't I make that decision?" she nearly screamed. She was so close to hysteria.

"Hermione, you're too young. You're practically a child."

"I am not a child,' she said, still crying, but suddenly more composed at his description of her.

"No, Hermione."

She took a few breaths and partially regained her composure. "Fine," she said. "I'll go. Good day." She walked to the door and stopped at the frame. She turned slightly. "You promised," she said defiantly.

"I did."

"But you didn't keep it."

"Hermione, I-" but she didn't let him finish. She walked back to her room. She heard him walk to the doorframe to watch her leave.

"I had every intention of keeping it," he whispered. She stopped for a moment, thinking perhaps he was taking it back. She knew however, that he was saying it not to comfort or to upset, but just so that she knew.

She kept walking.

About half an hour later.

She laid facedown on her bad, too much in shock to cry. It was still early, no one would be awake yet.

Except for Remus.

If she had still been in the past, the two of them being up before anyone else on a holiday would have meant uninterrupted time in the common room. But this was her time, and Remus was rejecting her.

Why?

He had told her, but had that been a real answer? Was there more? Or, she though with a jolt, had he found someone else? Was he rejecting her because there was someone else who had been there while she hadn't?

He last tear fell and she rubbed her eyes. How could he do this to her. She'd been counting on him to pull through, to be there for her. Had the loss of Lily, James, and Sirius made him crack?

But wait, she sat up. Lily's here. Maybe she could explain. Hermione stood and headed to Ron and Harry's room.

Lily was sleeping on the wardrobe. Hermione smiled, it was so obviously her. She whistled and Lily opened her eyes. Hermione held out her arm and lily flew to it. She shut the door and started to walk back to her room.

"Hey Snow," she whispered. Lily didn't notice.

"You awake?" Hedwig hooted, but made no other response to her.

Hermione looked at her. Wasn't this supposed to be Lily?

"Lils?" she said. Hedwig just sat there.

"Sorry for getting you up Hedwig," she said and carried the bird back to Harry's room.

On her bed again Hermione ran the facts over in her mind; Remus was rejecting her, James was dead, Sirius was dead, and so was Lily. She had been so sure, that no matter what had happened lily would be there, but no. Even lily was denied her.

"Why?" she whispered, pounding her pillow. :why do I have to loose everyone? Or if I don't loose them, they don't want me. Why?'

The tears began to fall again, but as usual, she ignored them. She didn't care right now, nothing really mattered. She just continued to ask her questions.

"What happened? What did I do? Is there a reason? Or am I just paying someone else's price?'

She screamed into her pillow, but her energy failed. Her outlet became sobs which turned into hiccups and eventually she cried herself to sleep.

The next day, early morning.

Hermione turned the knife over in her hands, admiring its cruel beauty. The blade was so sharp that a small cut appeared on the tip of her finger. The point could easily pierce her skin, which was what she wanted.

She wanted to leave, to disappear from this world. In death there would be no more pain for her to feel. In death there was nothing. She wanted nothing.

She ran her finger over the blade, almost enjoying the feel of it cutting her skin. Blood trickled down from the wound, wetting her arm and staining her clothes. Seeing that it would be effective, she pulled the neckline of her shirt down, revealing her bare collar bone and shoulder. She placed the tip of the knife inches from her skin.

"Hermione?" said a voice. She ignored them, whoever they were and moved the blade closer to her chest.

"Hermione what are you doing?" the voice said. The tip of the knife was almost to her skin.

"Hermione-NO!" She pierced her skin. Blood began to stream from the cut.

She person behind her grabbed her shoulders. She tried to plunge the knife further, but the person's fingers pried it out of her hands. It clattered to the floor as the person threw it down. She turned to look at them.

"I did it,' she whispered, unable to believe what she was seeing.

"Did what?" said Sirius who was pale.

"I killed myself. It didn't even hurt."

"Don't be ridiculed. You're not dead."

"But you're here-"

"I'm not dead either." He studied her face intently, as if he was looking for something.

"I've gone back already if that's what you're wondering," she said. Sirius's face relaxed.

"I wasn't sure, and I didn't want to ask in case you hadn't. What the hell were you doing?" he asked, changing the subject and his tone.

"Have you talked to Remus?" she asked, tears threatening to fall again.

"No, what happened?"

"He-he," she tried to say, but the tears choked her up again. She held her hand to her eyes to catch them, but it just made them fall harder. Sirius rubbed her back until she sat up again.

"What happened, Fang?" he asked.

She took a breath and plunged "He-he doesn't want me anymore."

Sirius recovered from the shock quickly, but it wasn't quick enough to stop Hermione from seeing his look of horror. She had only seen him look like that once before, in the Shrieking Shack long ago.

"He what?"

"He told me that we can't be together anymore. He said too much time had passed. He called me a child."

Sirius obviously hadn't expected that. He didn't know what to say to her, didn't know what to say to excuse Remus's behavior.

"I've been asking the same question fro the past day and a half: why? Not really why is he doing this, but why didn't he keep his promise? The night before I left he promised he'd wait for me. I don't really think that it hurts because of the rejection, but just the fact that he promised," she said voicing her thoughts for the first time in a while.

"Hermione, I'm sure he has a reason," Sirius said.

"I know, I just don't know what to do."

"Well, you had one idea," said Sirius, looking at the discarded knife on the floor.

"I don't know if I'd have actually done it," she whispered, looking at the floor.

"It looked like you would have. That was probably one of the worst things that I've ever seen."

"I'm sorry," she said. "I just didn't know what else to do. That just felt like the only way out."

"Swear you won't do that again. Remus doesn't know what he's doing. He's probably just in shock." Hermione looked at him.

"Thanks Sirius," she said.

"For what?"

"For stopping me. For talking. For being the only person I can talk to. Don't expect me to tell Ron and Harry. Ands Lily's gone."

Sirius nodded. "The first time I saw Hedwig, I thought it was Snow."

"I really thought that it was her. I didn't know how, but I hoped that she could answer some of my questions. And now, I have another one."

"What?"

"How are you here? Last I knew, you were dead in this time."

"That will be revealed, like many crucial facts, in time," Sirius said with a smile.

"Sirius tell me! One of my best friends has just came back from the dead and now he's not telling."

"Hermione, let's not talk about it. It's not important."

"Yes it is."

"Hermione we've got more important things to talk about-"

"Like what?"

"Like what you are going to do about Remus."

"Sirius, I don't want to talk about it anymore."

"You have to; I know you can't live like this Hermione. You need him. If you don't do anything who knows what'll happen to you."

"He won't have me."

"Then you need to do something."

"What?"

"Talk to him would be your solution but I have something better in mind."

"What?"

"I think you just need more time. It's hard to do hard things in such a short span."

"Sirius, stop the riddles. I need some answers and I'm in no mood for your tantalizing hints."

"For everything there is a reason and everything in time will come."

"Am I really talking to Sirius Black?"

Sirius huffed. "Am I talking to Hermione Granger?"

"Don't play coy. When did you become a philosopher?"

"You need to listen. You're not paying attention."

"More time?" she scoffed. "Everything's for a reason? That's supposed to mean something to me?"

"Everything in time will come," he said quietly, but never breaking his eye contact with her. His words clearly had another meaning and though she didn't know it, her anger subsided.

"What are you saying?" she whispered, keen to understand.

"Think about it," he said.

"Everything in time,' she repeated. "Everything in time will come."

"What does that mean?" he asked, trying to help her.

"Everything in time will come," she said again, but this time it made sense. She gasped and looked at him. He nodded.

"Really?" she whispered, hardly daring to believe it.

"It's what you need to do. The only other option is a lifetime of pain."

"You sure?" He nodded again. She felt tears on hr cheeks again but this time they were from joy. She could fix this. How could this simple idea not have occurred to her? It was so uncomplicated.

"Mione, it's a good idea. It's all you can do. I honestly don't know why he's doing this, but I know you won't survive. And he won't either. You need to do this." She didn't hear the desperation in his voice.

"Yes, you're right. I don't have any other options. I mean, besides wasting away here in misery. But you've got a totally better idea. Oh thank you Sirius." She threw her arms around him and squeezed tightly. He hugged her back.

"You're brilliant Sirius."

"Well you'd be the first to think so, Fang."

"Don't be silly." She let go of him. "When should I do it? Today? Right now?"

"I'd say tomorrow. Otherwise Remus or Dumbledore might try to stop you."

"Tomorrow, right," she said nodding.

"And I'd say write some notes. One to Remus, and maybe one to Harry and Ron. And wait fro me tomorrow. You shouldn't be disturbed."

"Yeah," she nodded again.

"Go to bed, you don't want to be exhausted when for it, do you?"

"Of course not, oh thank you Sirius." She kissed him on the cheek and ran off to her room.

In my life of sorrow

Pain and despair

You were my savior

You were my everything

I can't bear what I'm doing

But this has to be done

It wasn't my plan

I've ripped out your heart

Without wanting to

No matter what I say though

I'll always love you-from I Never Meant

I have slaved away these past few days at the computer, desperately trying to finish this chapter so I could post it before I go. And I did! Hurrah! Go me, go me, and go me.

Okay I'll stop.

Replies (no special people this time)

Amrawo: I know, I cried when I wrote this one.

Black-rose23: I don't know if this is really angsty, but I cried while I wrote some of it, so you never know.

StarRegina: Stop crying. Please! Matt's going to Florida too!

Athena's wolf: Yep they are. Love your name, I'm a Greek mythology freak.

Beth: Did this answer your question?

BlackPaintedWhite: Well, we didn't have snowstorm, but it snowed here on Tuesday, which really made Florida sound nice. I hope this one wasn't too confusing for you.

SpikesDreamer: Thank you.

Next Chapter

CAN'T TELL YOU!

Give me your thoughts. I want to know what you think Hermione is going to do. I want a lot of reviews in my box when I get back!

As always,

Gwen Worshipper