Yes, everyone who would bother to come to this (or any) Final Fantasy site probably thinks that Cloud andAeris are the perfect couple.just like Cait Sith predicted. And probably about half of you (or more) think that Aeris should have lived and gone on to marry Cloud.WELL YOU THOUGHT WRONG BECAUSE CLOUD SHOULDA MARRIED ME?In this fan fiction Cloud and Aeris are living in the Costa Del Sol Villa and are getting married, but what happens when Mona, April, Veronica, Toni and Ruthless are there as teen brats and other final fantasy vii characters.
GOD BLESS YOU WHO READS THIS HEAVENLY FANFIC.
Toni and gang meet's
Cloud: Wakes up and yawns Good morning honey.
Aeris: Huh? rolls over Why do you wake up so early?
Cloud: Oh, you know. Old habits from solider. So…how awake are you feeling right now?
Aeris: Forget it Cloud, I'm too tired.
Toni: running to Cloud hiya cloud how was your sleep
Cloud: grudgingly It was ok how was your's
Toni: Not funny Cloud.
Cloud: What do you mean not funny
Toni: when you constantly sleep next to Vincent who is snoring like a pig he keeps on hitting you on the head IT HURT'S I TELL YA IT HURT'S!
Toni leaves to have breakfast.
Cloud: laughs ok... then you having breakfast sweety looking lovingly at fat bitch Aeris
Aeris: Alright
Cloud: gets out of bed
Aeris: sweetly And Cloud?
Cloud: Yes?
Aeris: STAY AWAY FROM TONI!
Cloud: why
Aeris: remember last time she lured you into our bed
Cloud: oh yeah whoopsy blushing
Aeris: death glare don't let it happen again
Cloud: Gulp yes mum
In the kitchen- Toni, Mona ,Veronica, April, Ruthless and Vincent are eating Burgers and Chips EXCEPT FOR MONA SEEING THAT SHE DOESN'T EVEN EAT!
Vincent: walks in hey this is so cool i found it on the street
Shows Toni, Mona ,Veronica, April and Ruthless a piece of old chewed up trainer's.
Ruthless: Ok what are you on?
Vincent: Blood
Cloud: comes in Hey, everyone! Good morning!
Vincent: Why are you always in such a good mood? Is she that great in bed?
Cloud: HEY SHUT UP YOU BLOOD SUCKING FREAK! THAT'S MY WIFE YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT!
Vincent: hisses I'm gonna go play Pokemon.
Toni: All he ever does is play his damn gameboy…do you like my new bikini Cloud?
Cloud: No. I mean… why are you wearing a bikini around the house. Damn you!
Toni: Hey we are living at a beach
Cloud: Right. Sorry. So… what's up Mona?
Mona: reading comics Don't talk to me
Cloud: only asking
Mona: then don't next time
Cloud: ok
Mona: i have got Toni who has a anoying voice i don't need another got it.
Cloud and Toni: hey
Yuffie: walks in Cloud, I demand you make Vincent stop playing the bloody gameboy all the time!
April: Why don't you just steal it from him you bloody fish.
Mona: to Yuffie oh great here's another person with a anoying voice.
Cloud: Good morning Yuff
Yuffie: Oh shove it Cloud. I'm sick of your damn cheerfulness
Veronica: Alright, who gave Sephiroth our new phone number
Mona: Well… I didn't think it would matter…since he was dead
Toni: Mona has this thing about leaving her number with the deceased
Veronica: Well he brought himself back to life, again, dumbass! Didn't you learn your lesson last time?
Mona: still reading comics damn Garfield. Who understands this stuff?
Ruthless: Uh, learning to read might help, Mona
Mona: Shud up!
Aeris: comes in hello all
Cloud: Come sit in my lap
Aeris sits on cloud's lap
Toni: hope you dont break cloud's leg
Cid: walks in make sure he has his fly zipped up!
Aeris: Go to hell Cid!
Ruthless: laughs
Aeris: sits in Cloud's lap again and he kisses her shoulders. Toni fumes so what are we going to do today?
Ruthless: Sit around and watch dragon ball z you fat bastard
Aeris: who you calling fat
Ruthless: umm you
Mona: well you have gained a little bit of weight
Aeris: what did you say
Mona: did i say a little i mean a lot
Aeris: hmph whatever
Mona: yea but it's true you know
Aeris: Cloud their making fun of me
Mona: i'm not making fun of you im just giving you fact's bruv that you are a fat git alright.
Aeris try's to hit mona but she fall's flat on her face
Mona: Now you need a lot of plastic surgery and i thought you needed alot before to Aeris
Veronica: fucking bitch to Aeris
Aeris runs out crying and Cloud goes after her.
Cloud: look what you've done stupid children
Mona: who you callling stupid im just giving her facts
Toni: yea and look who's talking the guy who slept with a 13 year old girl's and boy's.
Cloud: shut up i am a changed man i don't hitch on school girls and boys no more drinking from champagne glass
Toni: are you sure your not a transvestite
Cloud: looking at toni WHAT!
Toni: you going deaf now i said are you a transvestite
Cloud: i heard you the first time
Toni: then why didn't you reply
Cloud: well you see it all started during the wutai war where me and sephiroth where getting jiggy in the cupboard right so let me tell you the whole story he put his weaner into my ass..
Everyone: stares in shock
Mona: tmi to much information
Aeris: is that true how could you cries
Cloud: whoopsy did i just say what i think i said
Mona: well duh
Aeris runs to her bedroom
Cloud: come back runs after her
Mona and Toni: bye and don't come back smiling triumphantly
Cid: Where's my goddamn breakfast? Why don't you hire a fucking cook people
April: Shut up you fish! Toni does the cooking around here.
Mona: no she doesn't she just order's takeaways
Toni: shut up Mona
Mona: i'm just telling you that you have been poisoning these poor people
Ruthless: i alway's thought the food was dogy.
April: well duh it's made out of fishticle's
Everyone vomits except for mona who doesn't trust Toni's food and makes her own and Toni who is laughing hysterically and vomitting at the same time.
Mona: hmm what have you been eating and how did April know it was fishticle's
Toni and April: whistling
Mona: this isn't over yet and plus why am i talking
Ruthless: well duh you have got a toungue and before you say naaa you don't say i am just telling you
Mona: i wasn't even gonna say that
Ruthless:Then what were you gonna say
Mona: i was gonna say your a complete twat
Ruthless: right
In the bedroom Cloud and Aeris were talking
Aeris: how could you Cloud how could you do this to me crying in the pillow
Cloud: easy i was 16
Aeris: and that make's it all right
Cloud: well yeah i was stupid and care free at the time plus there was no girl's there
Aeris: cry's even louder into pillow
Cloud: oh don't cry i was gay at the time and i felt so horny is well
Aeris: i don't wanna get married to you anymore
Toni: pop's out from nowhere i'll marry you
Mona: come back here toni your supposed to be paying everyone's medical's bill for posioning them
Toni: ok ok ok
April come's in
Aeris: What is it april?
April: They're having a Science Fiction convention at Gold Saucer. Let's go there!
Yuffie come's in
Yuffie: Ew no, that's stupid
Mona: umm i think your the one who is stupid
Yuffie: shut up
Cloud: Fine then you can sit here alone all day. I want to go.
Aeris: Me too, but first I gotta go take a shower. Cloud?
Cloud: I'm there and im sorry
Aeris: it's all right lets go bath together
they walk off together
Toni: flames shooting out of her ears
Veronica: yikes! Relax, woman!
they hear moans from Aeris and Cloud's room
Cid: way to go Cloud! Woo-hoo!
Toni: that's it i have had enough
Mona: still reading comics damn Cathy. What the hell is up with that bitch?
Toni run's into the living room, where vincent is on the couch playing pokemon
Vincent: Go! Pikachu!
Toni: shut that stupid thing off for a minute
Vincent: go away Tonnes
Toni: I demand that you sleep with me right away.
Vincent: huh? Why?
Toni: to make Cloud jealous
Vincent: Toni, he wouldn't care. He'd probably be happy you moved on. And anyway… whisper I've sort of got a thing for Yuffie
Toni: hmm, I always thought you had a thing for men.
Vincent: Burn.
Toni: well, that does it! If not you then who? CID?
Cid: somebody say my name?
Toni: NO get out. Vincent and I are having a conversation ALONE!
Vincent: shhh-Yuffie will hear!
Toni: groans and storms out of the house
LATER
Cloud: Is everybody ready to go?
April: Hang on, I'm watching Dragon Ball Z
Cloud: come on you idiot! You can see the DBZ exhibit at the convention
April: feck off you fish
April: drooling over Goku's pecs Alright, I'm coming
Vincent: Ooh, will they have a Pokemon center?
Cloud: frowns Enough
Vincent: Well, I'm bringing my new Pokemon yellow
Cid: Let's go! I'm getting fing bored hanging around your place all day, Cloud
MINUTES LATER-IN THE BUGGY ON THE WAY TO GOLD SAUCER
Vincent: looking up from his gameboy All we ever do is go to Gold Saucer
Cloud: Yeah, so? Gold Saucer brings back great memories.
Mona: scoffs You lot are all fucking idiot's
Cloud : someone needs to take a happy pill
Mona: and someone need's to have a face lift you old wrinkly bastard who sleep's with 13 year olds.
Cloud: hey that was before i am a changed man.
Mona: in Cloud's face Do me a favour don't talk to me ass face. Turn's around
Vincent: you got it tough Cloud
Cloud: Turns around hey what's that supposed to mean
Aeris: Hey, stop it you two, we're almost there. to Cloud Geez, sometimes I feel like we already have seven children.
Mona: Daddy i need me money in baby voice
Everyone: WHAT!
Mona: laughs evilly hehehehe
Cloud: GULP
Aeris: Alright, let's see what's on the radio… hmm, hmm, hmm flips around on the dial
Aeris: Oh, here's a good song by Train.
Toni: feck no i ain't listening to no jesus music let's listen to ciara
Mona: Aeris change it back to ciara.
Aeris: Wait, let me get out my Hank Williams Jr. CD..
All: NO!
Veronica: Well I got my Janet Jackson tapes-
All: ……..
Vincent: lets listen to batman's themetune
All: ...
Ruthless: Ok now seriously what are you on ?
Vincent: i told you blood
Cloud: Let Aeris pick the radio station-she's driving.
Yuffie: Ok, fine, but I get to drive on the way home
April: Oh no, I'm not listening to that Spice Girls shit!
Aeris: (does Yuffie even have a license? Wait…DO I?)
Yuffie: Oh, shove it, April.
Yuffie goes to the back of the car to barf
Vincent: What did I say?
Aeris: Er, nothing Vinnie-she just has motion sickness
Mona: laughing Yuffie gets motion sickness from staring at her own face.
Vincent: Leave her alone. gets back to Pokemon
April: GREAT NOW I HAVE TO MEET GOKU LOOKING LIKE CRAP!
Mona: And smelling like it.
Cloud: Oh so THAT'S why you wanted to go, april. I should have known-you have all of those Naked Goku screen savers.
April: STOP HACKING INTO MY COMPUTER CLOUD! YOU FUCKING STUPID FUCKING BASTARD
Aeris: now listening to old 80's songs whispers to Cloud Did you tell Veronica we…um.. were…intimate…on the gondola?
Cloud: I don't exactly discuss our sex life with Veronica, sweetheart.
Aeris: Hmm…either way… I thought it might be fun…
Cloud: smiles, anime sweatdrop Ha ha. We might break the thing.
Aeris: laughs Yeah… Cloud do you think Toni is okay?
Cloud: (who cares?) Um…yes?
Aeris: I hope she doesn't do anything rash.
SHINRA HEADQUATERS
Rufus: Elena, I feel tense. Why don't you give me a back rub?
Elena: That's sexual harassment in the work place.
Rufus: (you call this dump a work place?) Yeah, well I'M THE PRESIDENT!
Elena: Go screw yourself, Rufus.
Scarlett: drools
Rufus: walks into the gym Hey, Tseng. What's up with Elena? She's such a bitch today?
Tseng: Hmm. I noticed. She usually kisses our asses. Save the bitchiness for Rude and Reno.
Rufus: Is it that time of the month or what?
Tseng: Hmm. No. I think Elena is barren…
Rufus: EW how would you know?
Tseng: (well there is my degree in gynecology…) Never mind. I think she's having relationship problems with Reno.
Rufus: WHO SAID RENO WAS ALLOWED TO DATE ELENA?
Tseng: I imagine they made the decision on their own, sir.
Rufus: Don't call me sir. It makes me nervous. I'M the KING OF WORLD! She shouldn't be able to do anything with him without my permission.
Tseng: No I think Sephiroth is the king of the world. He recently resurrected himself.
Rufus: Shit how discouraging for Cloud.
Tseng: Huh? Cloud?
Rufus: Well call Sephiroth and invite him for dinner. We haven't had a good get together in awhile.
Tseng: What about Cloud's bachelor party? That was fun and remember when cloud fucked sephiroth
in the cupboard.
Rufus: Yeah I can't believe we got Sephy drunk! Haha! Memories…
Toni: enters the room Hey, Elena said you might be in here.
Rufus: Huh? Strife's friend? How did you get in here?
Toni: Climbed like a million stairs.
Rufus: Oh, yeah, we should get an alarm system or something for those. Anyway…what do you want?
Toni: I want to join the Turks.
Tseng: Yeah, right. Nice trick, you little spy.
Toni: I'm serious! I've had about enough of Cloud's rejection.
Rufus: Me too! I mean, um… well this could be useful. Do you think you could convince him to come to a little shindig I'm throwing tonite?
Toni: Maybe. If you let me join.
Rufus: Well, okay. Tseng, take a memo for me.
Tseng: Sure.
Rufus: Note to self: Fire Elena. Hire Toni.
MEANWHILE, AT GOLD SAUCER
April: Where IS he?
Veronica: Cheer up, April. Look there's Krelein and Gohan. Let's ask them.
Krelein: Hey, you kids want an autograph?
Gohan: Whoa, those are weird costumes. What series are they from?
Veronica: They're from…um… the… Adventures of… Red Cat…and the marshmallow guy-from Ghostbusters.
Gohan: Oh, cool.
April: ENOUGH TALK! WHERE'S GOKU?
Krelein: Oh, that bum? I think he went off with Bulma.
April: THAT GOKU-STEALER! I'LL SEE HER DEAD!
Gohan: Be my guest.
Krelein: Hey!
Gohan: Oh, get over it Krelein. It's pathetic.
MEANWHILE, AT THE WONDER SQUARE, VINCENT IS IN LINE TO PRINT HIS POKEMAN STICKERS AT THE NEW MACHINE.
Yuffie: Hey, Vincent.
Vincent: Want to keep me company while I wait?
Yuffie: No. she stays anyway
Vincent: I'm so excited! Pokemon stickers!
Yuffie: Wow, I've never seen you show emotion before. Hey, Vincent this is lame. Let's go hang out in the Event Square.
Vincent: ( Pokemon or Yuffie! For the love of Pikachu!) Uh…
Yuffie: Come on, I'll make it worth your while. Pulls him out of line
MEANWHILE, ON THE GONDOLA(!)
Aeris: Ohhhh…Cloud….
Cloud: Mmmmm….Aeris….
Gondola Operator: what the heck is wrong with that thing? Never seen it rock like THAT before…
AT THE WONDER SQUARE:
Mona: playing the arm wrestling game ER! I hate this damn thing! shoves another 100 gil into the slot
Cid: Hey, do you ever think Cloud minds that we use his house and eat all of his food?
Mona: loses again DAMN! Huh? don't talk to me you 58 year old pensioner
Cid: Hmm.
Suddenly they see Goku run by, screaming, and being chased by April
Goku: GET AWAY FROM ME!
April: NEVER!
BACK AT THE EVENT SQUARE, YUFFIE AND VINCENT SIT TOGETHER AND STARE AT THE EMPTY STAGE.
Yuffie: Hey, Vincent-what's your main ambition in life? And DON'T say-
Vincent: COLLECTING ALL 151 POKEMAN!
Yuffie: slouches down and grumbles to herself
Vincent: Why?
Yuffie: I'm trying to get to know you, dweeb.
Vincent: Dweeb…Awww… that's such a Yuffie thing to say.
Yuffie: grins, and then frowns abruptly Wait, are you taking me seriously?
Vincent: Yes…
Yuffie: What that under your cape? ARE YOU PLAYING POKEMAN?
ON THE GONDOLA…
Aeris: buttoning up her dress Mmmm, this ride is too short.
Cloud: eyes half-closed with dopey smile Yeah…ride…short…
Aeris: rolls her eyes and smiles Stop acting so goofy. Here, let me get that. she pulls his shirt back on for him kisses him on the nose
Cloud: Well, I don't know about you-but I have a new favorite ride at Gold Saucer.
Aeris: laughs, plays with his hair Definitely. Cloud, now that we're alone, I want to talk to you about something.
Cloud: Hmm?
Aeris: First of all, I love our friends.
Cloud: (uh oh, what does that mean? )
Aeris: I mean, they're like our family. But…I don't know if you've noticed… but our house is a little crowded…lately.
Cloud: If this is about Ruthless spying on us-
Aeris: No, no, I should say she knows better after the talk you had with her… (or the talk your sword had with her head…) I just think it's time we…helped a few of them find places of their own.
Cloud: Well most of them have places. But do you really want to send Vincent back to the Shinra mansion? Or Ruthless back to Correl?
Aeris: No, that's not what I meant-Cloud I KNEW you would take this the wrong way.
Cloud: Well what do you mean? I mean, none of them have jobs.
Aeris: I know it's just…
Cloud: Is this about Cid leaving the toilet seat up?
Aeris: no-
Cloud: Ruthless disgusting obsession with anime porn?
Aeris: no it's nothing so specific. I like seeing them, you know, it's just that I don't want to see them 24 HOURS A DAY!
Cloud: sighs Yeah, you're right. I know. Sometimes I feel like we never get to be alone.
Aeris: You said it. Sometimes I wish we could just live on a deserted island-me and you. Alone.
He kisses her and starts to un-button her dress
Aeris: Stop, Cloud-the ride's almost over.
Cloud: Right. Sorry. Anyway, I've got an idea.
Aeris: What is it?
Cloud: Let's go on a vacation! We could go to Cactus island-or Wutai-or even your hometown, up north.
Aeris: Smiles Mmm, that would be nice. We could snowboard all day and rent a warm little cottage…
Cloud: With lots of flannel blankets.
Aeris: And Magic Fingers! they both laughed Good idea. she kisses him on the forehead I can't wait!
Cloud: Yeah…we'd better leave Vincent in charge. Hopefully the others won't burn the house down while we're gone.
MEANWHILE IN EVENT SQUARE
Yuffie: If you play Pokemon one more time I'm kicking your ass
Vincent: turned on
Yuffie: Vincent, can I ask you a question?
Vincent: I suppose.
Yuffie: Can I kiss you?
Vincent: surprised. Anime sweatdrop well…yes I guess you can. (hey I love aggressive women.)
Yuffie: OK. licks her lips Get ready.
Vincent: grabs hold of his seat um…okay.
Yuffie: straddles him and plants a big one on his lips
Vincent: melts
Yuffie: climbs off him and sits back in her seat. Looks at him So? How was it?
Vincent: still melting uhhh…. It was good.
Yuffie: Hmph! Is that all?
Vincent: I dunno. Let's not talk for awhile.
Yuffie: big sigh you're so weird. I'll talk if I want to. You don't have to say anything. Looks at him You're all I think about these days.
Vincent: ……….
Yuffie: Well, there you go. I said it. Maybe I just caught the love bug from Aeris and Cloud. I'm just acting like a fool. Ignore me.
Vincent: swallows I…don't know…what to say…
Yuffie: So don't say anything. Forget it.
Vincent: No. leans over and kisses her
Yuffie: dramatic sigh Oh, Vinnie. leans in for another one
Vincent: turns red oh, sorry, Yuffie. I'm so embarrassed.
Yuffie: Get over it, Vince. You need some practice in the kissing department. We'll work on that later. Let's go.
THEY ARRIVE BACK AT THE VILLA
Toni: sitting at the kitchen table Hey, the Shinra police just called. Apparently, April is under some kind of house arrest?
Veronica: Yeah…don't ask. We already tranquilized her.
Cloud: Toni! How come you didn't go with us?
Toni: I was hanging out with some friends.
All: (friends?)
Toni: Yeah, they're throwing this kick-ass party tonight. They said I could bring you guys….if you want.
Vincent: Uhh…Yuffie and I have an….appointment…
Yuffie: running past him, towards the bathroom never mind that, Vincent. I have to go throw up.
Mona: Yeah she was LOOKING at her face Too fast! Ha ha!
Vincent: Shut your pie-hole!
Mona: no i won't shut my bloody pie hole so fuck off
Aeris: Sounds like fun Toni! I could go for some dancing.
Toni: your not coming
Aeris: sulks
Cid: I could go for some hard liqueur.
Toni: Oh, they'll have that there. thinking of Reno
Vincent: I'm gonna go check on Yuffie.
Cloud: I'm up for a round of Mario Kart if anyone is interested.
Mona and Veronica: I AM!
Cid: I can't believe it's three o'clock in the afternoon and I'm not drunk yet.
Vincent: knocks on bathroom door Yuffie?
Yuffie: DO YOU MIND? I'M TRYING TO BARF HERE!
Vincent: ugh. Sorry. (I hate girls) walks off
Aeris: knocks on door Yuff?
Yuffie: whisper Is the coast clear?
Aeris: Yeah…come talk to me!
They go out onto the beach
Aeris: What's wrong, Yuff? You didn't hit it off with Vincent?
Yuffie: groans No, I did. It was great. He was great. He's so sweet and innocent…
Aeris: laughs So what's the problem?
Yuffie: Now that I know he likes me…I'm scared!
Aeris: Why Yuffie? It's just Vincent. Don't you trust him?
Yuffie: No offense-but I just don't want to become a love-sick fool.
Aeris: offended Does every one think I'm a love sick fool?
Yuffie: No we think that about Toni (thew me and my big mouth)
Aeris: Oh, well that's because she loves someone who's not interested.
Yuffie: sighs I dunno. It's complicated.
Aeris: Well, obviously I'm not helping. Why don't you go talk to him?
Yuffie: Okay, I have to face my fears. Right.
Aeris: Don't be afraid of him, Yuff. Remember-he's your friend.
They go back to the Villa
Aeris: I'm gonna go take a nap before we go out.
Cloud: abandons his Mario Kart game I'm there!
Toni: Growls as they disappear into their bedroom
Vincent: Oh, come on Toni. Maybe you'll meet someone at the party tonight.
Yuffie: Hey, can I talk to you Vincent?
Toni: Excuse me? I was talking to him.
Vincent: See ya Toni. walks off with Yuffie
Toni: i hate boy's
IN VINCENT'S BEDROOM
Yuffie: Gee, I've never been in your room before.
Vincent: What did you want to talk about?
Yuffie: Oh…things.
Vincent: Like what?
Yuffie: Just…stuff…
Vincent: What stuff…?
Yuffie: Um…I wanted to talk to you…about Pokemon...yeah…
Vincent: sits down next to her on his bed I don't want to talk about Pokemon. (!)
Yuffie: Well, that's a first.
Vincent: I know. Yuffie are you gonna keep acting weird? Cause I'm no better at this than you…
Yuffie: What's that supposed to mean?
Vincent: Don't get mad.
Yuffie: sighs I'm not mad.
Vincent: Good.
Yuffie: …..Vincent?
Vincent: Yeah?
Yuffie: I'll…never steal your materia.
Vincent: (oh my GAWD-That's like the ULTIMATE YUFFIE COMMITMENT!)….Okay.
Yuffie: ….Vincent?
Vincent: hmm?
Yuffie: Kiss me again?
Vincent: Uh-huh. leans in and gives her a big one
Yuffie: grabs Vincent's face No, no-it's more like this-
TO BE CONTINUED….NOW!
Well there will be another chappie hoped you like it and thanks to mona for being all moody, veronica for being plain old veronica, april for being fishtastic, me for being the best of course and last but definatly not least ruthless for being my eating sister and for the sarcastic comment's of course wait hold on that's for mona oh feck off people...ANYWHO please read and review and who knows you might enjoy this fic but that's if you do have a sense of humour bye bye for now you fecking wankers.
Toni Fraser a.k.a
Lil Goon
