Chapter Twelve: Knowing the Difference
Groggily, I woke up with my eyes still feeling the heaviness from the sleeping potion that Madam Pomfrey had given me. When I finally did open my eyes, I was surprised to see Neville gone from the infirmary, but Hermione was in the bed next to mine. I sat up in my bed and yawned.
"Good Morning, Ginny," she said warmly, putting down her Arithmancy book.
Not missing a beat, Madam Pomfrey jumped over from the other side of the infirmary and was at the bedside fussing over me like my Mum. "Ankle feeling better my dear?" she inquired, lifting the sheet to check my leg.
I hadn't even noticed that the pain in my ankle had completely diminished, and I stretched it out, as I often did, until I heard the familiar pop. "Fine, I guess," I said with a slight smile.
"Good, let me fetch you something from the kitchens. You must be hungry," Madam Pomfrey said.
"Yes, thank you," I said, realizing that my stomach felt as empty as a quaffle.
Straightening my bedclothes before she left, Madam Pomfrey added, "Oh, Miss Granger, will you be so kind as to take another cup of your healing potion. I doubt your ribs will heal as well all by themselves," and she left just as promptly as she came.
Hermione sighed heavily, and I watched her drink a cup of what looked like some horrible tasting concoction. It was then, that all the memories of the Department of Mysteries came flooding back to me so quickly and I felt ill.
Ron. The Brains. Death Eaters. The prophecy. Harry.
"Hermione!" I yelped, panic in my voice. "Ron, Harry -- are they all…"
Hermione held up her hands in a calming motion, swallowing her last gulp. "Ginny, calm down, they're fine. We're all getting along just fine --though some of us have a bit more recovering to do than others." She nodded her head to the bed on the other of her. Ron, with enormous red welts, no doubt from the brain tentacles, was there fast asleep and snoring. Hermione continued. "Those brain things got him worse than anything else that hit the rest of us, but Madam Pomfrey said he'd be right as rain in another day or two."
"And Harry?" I asked urgently.
"He's all right, I swear," Hermione sighed with slight exasperation. However, the expression on Hermione's face changed quickly from joy to sorrow, and she began to wring the sheets in her hands nervously. "There is some bad news from all this -- Sirius is dead."
"I know," I said quietly, looking down at my bedclothes. Hermione looked at me with bewilderment, but judging by the look on my own face, which was now starting to feel hot, my eyes blurring with tears, she said nothing. Finally, I asked hoarsely, "How did it happen?"
"It was the Lestrange woman," Hermione said carefully. "She hit him with a killing curse, and he fell backwards through that old archway with the veil."
Shaking my head, I shut my eyes tightly to keep the tears from coming. It was just as I had dreamed. Sirius was gone, on the other side of the veil. Harry's only scrap of real family left, and the one person he thought of as a parent, was gone forever. I couldn't have imagined what Harry might have been going through. My heart went out to him, and I let the tears fall at last.
"Ginny? Oh, Ginny, what is it?" Hermione asked, though I suspect she already knew the answer. "Should I call Madam Pomfrey back?"
"No, no. I'll be all right," I whimpered. "I just feel so awful for Harry, you know. It was his godfather after all."
Hermione looked at me seriously for a moment. "Ginny, I know that's not the only reason you're upset. Neville told me you had nightmares last night."
"He did?" Oh, damn.
"Yes," Hermione said with a tone of finality. "Now talk."
Sighing with resignation, I told her about the veil dream. Though I'd tried to leave out certain parts about telling someone that I loved him, Hermione seemed keenly interested in the dream. When I mentioned Harry going through the archway, her eyes widened in surprise -- especially when I told her that Tom Riddle was behind the veil. Though I never mentioned it, I couldn't help but wonder in the back of my mind, if any other parts of my nightmare would also come to pass.
Thankfully, Hermione never interrupted me once. She just let me go on and on about Harry, which was unfortunate because when I finished, Hermione said rather smugly, "Well that about settles it all up, doesn't it?"
Realizing my error in talking too much, I began to stare at the linens again, feeling the familiar burning of my ears. "Settles what?" I asked, pretending not to understand what she'd meant, though I knew perfectly well what she was about to say.
Hermione laughed at my display of ignorance, but quickly grasped at her aching chest. "Oh, my dear, sweet, Ginny. When are you going to learn that there is a difference between giving up on someone, and getting over them?"
Having been stuck in the infirmary well past lunch, I rushed back up to the common room to change my clothes for an early dinner. On the way, the students were all a buzz about Umbridge, and when I reached the Great Hall, Neville informed me that Dumbledore had "found" Professor Umbridge in the Dark Forest, but had said nothing about what had happened to her. Of course, something must have happened, for she was staying in the infirmary for the rest of term.
Neville laughed heartily. "You'd think Fred and George had jinxed her or something. They're quite brilliant. Of course, Ginny, they have nothing on you."
Sipping my pumpkin juice, I smiled into my cup. George had been trying to tell me how I felt about Harry the night before he and Fred left Hogwarts. It was his words that brought me some hope for a future with Harry. "You know he needs you, Gin. You've always known that you have a part to play in all of this, whatever it may be . . . you're connected for better or worse . . . and whether he knows it or not, you two compliment each other in such a way that I've never seen in any other two people . . ."
Dinner went on with Neville and me (I wasn't surprised that Harry hadn't come down for supper that evening at all) discussing the previous evening's events. However, when he brought up that night in the infirmary, and the nightmare I had, I told him that I didn't remember anything.
I excused myself early that evening, and went upstairs to write George, pulling out a charm Hermione had found for the twin's Extendable Ears. "As troublesome as they are sometimes," Hermione had said in the infirmary earlier that afternoon, "they're dead useful inventions. Just don't mention that I found it for them, okay." She had then handed the parchment over with a wink.
Dipping my quill, I began my letter, anxious to tell my brother that he was right after all.
Dear George,
First of all, I know Mum has probably told you what has happened by now, but let me assure you that I am quite fine, and have no permanent injuries. Ron, on the other hand, is still staying in the infirmary, but he's doing well. He and Hermione should be completely recovered in a few days.
Now, let me get to the point of this letter. I have no idea where you became so damn insightful all of the sudden—probably got it from Mum. She always seems to know everything. Well, almost everything.
I don't quite understand why it hasn't dawned on me until now. I suppose it's just the trademark Weasley stubbornness rearing its ugly head once again. Perhaps I was tired of having my heart broken day after day, again and again.
Now that this has been all said and done, I take a deep breath and say the words that I have longed to say for a year.
I love Harry Potter.
I have never stopped loving Harry Potter.
And I will continue to love Harry Potter until my body takes its last breath.
There I said it. Are you happy now?
I suppose this is, after all, a good thing. Being with Michael has taught me loads about relationships in general. It allowed me to move on for a time, and get over the silly schoolgirl crush that has plagued me for years. It gave me time to see Harry as himself. Just Harry. Not as The Boy Who Lived.
Now that I do see Harry for who he truly is, I love him even more. I love that he isn't perfect, and isn't trying to be. He's just a boy trying to make his way in this chaotic world. Just as scared and confused as any other bloke his age. And I adore him for that. I love him for the boy he is, and the man he is destined to become.
Yes, I know that I gave up on him for a while, but you see, I never got over him. I know this is what you were trying to tell me the night before you and Fred left Hogwarts, but I didn't want to hear it. Although at that point, Michael's and my relationship was beginning to crumble, I still felt a certain loyalty towards him. After all, he was my boyfriend for nearly eight months.
I suppose I'm writing this now because I needed to tell someone. I could tell Hermione, sure and I eventually will. But now this feeling is still mine, and I don't wish to share it with anyone, except you. I know you will keep it a secret. Besides, who are you going to tell, Fred? Mum?
It's time for me to go now. I miss you and Fred awful here. You are truly missed throughout the school. Now finally, Headmaster Dumbledore is back now, and things are at long last, the way they should be for the moment. But who knows how long it will last. I have a feeling that the darkest of days are coming soon enough. I also know that it will be the strength of our friendship and love that will keep us all together.
I hope things are going well for you and Fred at the joke shop. I can't wait to come visit when summer holidays begin! Give my love to Fred for me. Please write soon!
Love always,
Ginny
P.S. By the way, enclosed with Pigwidgeon here is a charm I found while I was in the infirmary to strengthen the power of the extendable ears. I hope that this will prove useful and boost the sales up a bit for the shop.
Gin
A few days later, Ron and Hermione were released from the infirmary. Ron still had a few bad welts, but for the most part, he was in good spirits. Hermione seemed well enough, as she kept trying to pester Harry about Sirius's death, claiming that he needed to "share his feelings" with them. Luckily, Ron was around enough to keep her in line. Honestly, I think the real reason she did it was that she was a bit hurt by the fact that he didn't want to talk about it at all with her or Ron. Harry would come around sooner or later; he simply wasn't ready yet.
Neville on the other hand, returned to his usual clumsy self, with the exception of his own pestering about my dream. I kept telling him that I didn't remember, but I have a feeling that he knew more than he let on, and wanted to talk about it. All in due time, Neville dear.
The last night of term, I caught Luna walking down the hallway on the way to the Great Hall with several pieces of parchment in her hands. "Just putting up signs for my lost things again, you know how it goes."
Smiling lightly I replied, "I know. I take it you won't be going to the feast then?"
"I may make it for dessert, but I still have loads of signs to put up yet." Luna said, shuffling through her bag for some tacks.
"Would you like some help, then?" I offered.
"Oh, no, go on and enjoy the feast. I'll join you later on perhaps," she answered sweetly, and started up the staircase, suddenly turning around as though she remembered something. "Ginny, do remind me to give you something before we head out tomorrow. I have something that might interest you."
"Yes, of course," I responded, wondering what she could have for me. "Good luck with your search. I hope you find what you need."
Luna said simply, "Thanks, Ginny. You too," before climbing up the stairs again, leaving me to wonder again what she had meant.
I wasn't until the next morning that I'd finally understood what Luna said to me the night before. I was riding along with Ron, Hermione, and Harry in the thestral drawn coaches back to Hogsmeade station. Harry was still carrying on in his somber mood, having given Hermione another dirty look when she again tried to bring up Sirius. Ron ended up nudging her hard in the arm as punishment.
When we arrived, Ron got out first, then Harry, who in turn helped Hermione out of the coach. I was still gathering my things when I realized that Harry was waiting for me, holding his hand out in order to help me out. I let him take my hand, but when I caught his eye, I noticed he was looking straight at me. It was a look I'd never seen before on him, but it was unmistakable when I saw it. He was looking to me for comfort. Not the hugs and kisses kind of comfort that a mother would give. It was the comfort of a friend. A friend that would listen, not judge, or ask questions. Someone who would just be there for him.
Not Ron. Not Hermione. Of all people, he looked to me.
It's a terrible thing to say of either of them, but Ron and Hermione didn't always know what was best for Harry. Hermione was far too smothering most of the time, and poor Ron didn't even know how to approach him. Harry had gone through a tremendous lot in the last year, and he needed time. Time to grow, in strength and heart, and take in all that has happened and prepare for all that would come.
Knowing all of this, I took Harry's hand and looked him in the eye. I couldn't offer him the comfort he truly needed, at least, not yet. So I did what I could. I squeezed his hand gently and smiled at him. I let him know that I could and would be there for him when he was ready.
Walking towards the train, Luna caught me by the shoulder and pulled me aside. "I'm glad I caught you, Ginny. Here's the latest issue of my father's paper. There's a quiz in there I felt would intrigue you," she said, pressing the newest issue of The Quibbler into my hands.
"Thanks, Luna. See you soon, okay?"
Luna waived goodbye and boarded the train. I opened up the paper to the index page and smiled when I saw the tagline: "How to Tell if Your Man is Worth the Wait, page 53."
I would take the quiz of course, but I already knew the answer.
The End
