Disclaimer: See Chapter 1
My Notes…Thanks for your kind words and encouragement…I am sorry that it has taken me so long to get another chapter to you…I will try my best to get another couple of chapters out to you soon…I am having a major case of writers block at the moment.. Hopefully it will pass soon…please review but be kind I am still without a beta so the mistakes are all mine…I hope you enjoy this chapter…
Brass stood outside the morgue, he had escorted the Sara's body to the morgue. She was one of them after all and she deserved it. He still couldn't believe that this was happening. Why would she do it?
His mind wondered back to the events of the evening, Catherine's screams from inside the apartment, he knew it was something bad but he was not prepared for this. He couldn't believe Sara had taken her own life. He knew she was a workaholic, and close to burnout but never this. He interviewed her neighbor Beth himself he wanted it done right. He knew Ecklie, had been called in but to him it was just another case, he didn't care about Sara or what this was going to do to the night shift. Unfortunately there wasn't a lot she could tell him, she only talked to Sara on occasion. It wasn't like they were close friends, come to think of it Sara really didn't have any close friends.
Still in shock Brass was left with the unfortunate task of filling in Ecklie's team when they arrived. Brass decided to remain at the scene, he wanted to make sure it was done right. He made sure that Ecklie knew that nobody had been in the house since Catherine and Warrick left and that the coroner was already in there. He couldn't face going back into that apartment, he couldn't see Sara this way, he wanted to remember her the way she was when he saw her yesterday, so he waited outside. If not for Sara then for Nick, Catherine, Grissom, Warrick and Greg after all they had been his team at one time. But most of all they were his friends. Brass waited for the coroner to finish and then left when he did. The officer who found her was going to wait for the CSI's to finish and would hand the dog over to them.
Brass snapped back into reality when Ecklie started speaking to him. "These were found next to the bed," he handed Brass four envelopes. "We read a couple of them, they are no use to use, this was a cut and dry suicide." Eckie told him no emotion showed in his voice. "Dr. Robbins said that was how he would rule it, It's such a shame she was one hell of a good CSI." He stated as he started to walk away.
Brass started down the hallway in search of the graveyard shift. He knew they were dealing with a lot right now and he wanted to give them his support. Although Brass and Sara were not close friends, he felt that Grissom who is one of his best friends needed him and he would do everything he could to be there for his pal.
Doc Robbins had just finished with Sara's body and was about to pull the sheet up over her face when Grissom walked in.
"You should not be here this is no place to say for you to say good- bye" he told his friend.
"I know but I just needed to see for myself, I need to see that this is real. I can't believe she is gone. I needed to see her," Grissom slowly walked up to the table. "Please doc I need a few minutes."
"Okay," Doc turned and walked out of the autopsy suite.
Grissom stood there for what seemed like forever, looking down at the body of his friend and co-worker. Oh Sara, Why did this happen? He thought of all the things he should have done, should have said to her. He wished he had told her that he I did care about her. Why couldn't I tell her? If I had she would not have done this, she would still be alive. He jerked out of his thoughts when the door's to the autopsy suite opened and Nick entered the room.
"Sorry, Grissom I just wanted to see for my self. I still can't believe she is gone," he told his friend. "I have so many questions and no answers."
As Nick was approaching the table Greg comes flying through the door. He also needed to see for himself that this wasn't a bad dream.
"Sorry guys" he told them. "I just needed to know this was some sick joke. I will go."
"No," Nicky spoke quickly, "please stay she was your friend too and you are hurting as much as any of the rest of us. We do not understand why this happened but we have to lean on each other to get through it." Nicky motioned Greg up to the table.
"I can't he cried I can't see her like this not on this table." Greg yelled, "I don't want her to be gone." He quickly made his way to the door of the room.
As he was rushing out of the autopsy suite Warrick and Catherine were coming through the door almost running over them. Catherine could see the fear in Greg eyes, "I cant do this" he told her. Catherine grabbed Greg's arm and pulled him into a tight hug. "It's okay" she told him. "Do you want to walk up there? I will go with you" Catherine told Greg.
"Yes, I need to see for my self that she is gone," he told her in a whisper. Catherine took his hand and slowly walked up to the table joining Nick and Grissom standing beside the table. It was all she could do to keep it together. Warrick knew she needed him and walked up on the other side of her and put his arm around her shoulder, and kissed her head. The five of them stood there staring at the body of their friend, co-worker and ex-lover lying on that cold table.
Giving them just a little time Doc Robbins walked back into the room. "Guys his is no place to say good-bye" he told them.
Slowly one by one they walked out of the room. The five made their way to break room, nobody said a word; there were no words that could be said at this moment. The news was just starting to spread through the lab, the five received looks of sorrow and pity as they made their way down the hallway. Brass was waiting for them as they entered the break room.
"Ecklie needs Sara's file so he can contact her next of kin," Brass told Grissom.
Grissom was the only one at the lab who know the truth about Sara's parents, and he intended to keep that secret for her. This also meant that the horrible task of making funeral arrangements would fall to him.
He need to talk to Ecklie, quickly making his way out of the break room. Brass grabbed his arm and stopped him. He handed him five envelops each had their names on it in Sara's distinctive handwriting.
"These were found at the scene and Ecklie thought it would be best if I gave them to you," he told him.
Grissom looked at the envelopes like they would magically give him all the answers. He stuck his in his shirt pocket and handed the other four remaining members of the graveyard shift theirs. He quickly turned and walked out of the break room in search of Ecklie.
He didn't know if his team would ever recover from this tragedy, but the sooner he got this over with the sooner he could go home to his quiet townhouse and grieve for the woman he loved. He did love her; he had been such an idiot not to tell her.
Sara's case file was sitting on Ecklie's desk when Grissom walked into the office. He quickly closed it. It looked as though he had been crying, but then again the heartless Ecklie would never cry for one of Grissom's team members.
"Conrad, I will take care of Sara's next of kin notification ." He told the assistant director. "She was my responsibility."
"Okay." His words were quiet. "She was a good CSI and will be missed."
"Thanks." Grissom made his way back to the quiet of his office.
Walking past the break room, Grissom could see the broken expressions on the faces of his team. The reality of what had happen was just starting to set in, and it would be a long process of grieving.
Finally making it into his office without being bothered, Grissom slammed his office door shut behind him. Picking up the phone book he searched the listings for the name of a funeral home.
"Oh, Sara why did you do this? Tears began to fall as he searched out the information he needed.
After making the necessary arrangements with the funeral home. He went in search of Doc Robbins, he need to let him know which funeral home would be coming for Sara's body. It sounded so strange to refer to her as a body and not a person. Walking back toward the autopsy suite he realized that he needed to go by Sara's apartment and find out if she had a will or left any instructions in the event of her death. He wasn't sure he was strong enough for that, maybe he would ask Brass to do it.
"Grissom," Doc acknowledged him. "You shouldn't be in here."
"I just wanted to let you know that I made arrangements with the funeral home for pick up. He couldn't bring himself to say body, that was so cold."
Putting his hand on Grissom shoulder, "Thanks for letting me know."
Without another word Grissom simply walked out of the suite and back toward his office. He ignored the looks of pity and sorrow he got as he went down the corridor.
Catherine, Nick, Warrick, and Brass were sitting in his office, waiting for him to return.
"We thought you could use some support when you call Sara's family." Catherine was the first to speak.
"I have already taken care of it," Grissom wasn't ready to share any more with the group. "Go home guys get some sleep."
No one seemed to move, it was like nobody wanted to leave.
"GO HOME!" Grissom's anger startled them.
One by one they made their way out of his office. Just as Brass was leaving Grissom grabbed his arm.
"I need a favor."
"Sure, what's up pal." Brass would do anything to help the team.
"I need you to go by Sara's apartment and see if you can find a will or any instructions she may have left in case of her death." Grissom's words came out fast.
Without any question Brass exited Grissom's office in search of the needed items.
Sitting in his office all alone, Grissom pulled out the letter that Sara had left them. His hands shook as he looked at the envelope. He was desperately in need of answers but he just couldn't bring himself to open the letter.
Grabbing his jacket he headed out the door, destination unknown.
